This thread needs to be stickied and updated daily 
What happens in Florida stays in Florida (wishful thinking) (updated with fukkery)
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I have big plans for this threadThis thread needs to be stickied and updated daily
eastsideTT
Superstar
I don't know if that's worse than her saving up a personal collection over time? The fact that her own daughter was going to be at the party ...
She was hoping her daughter would come running home like "Mom! You'll never guess what happened at the party!" and she'd be there like
Florida woman drops pants, licks man, dances naked in Waffle House parking lot
PENSACOLA, Fla. - A Florida woman was arrested after she undressed and danced around a Waffle House parking lot before licking a stranger on the face.
Freedom Ryder Zobrist, 38, was arrested Monday in Pensacola on lewd and indecent exposure of sexual organs charges, as well as disorderly conduct, battery and assault, WEAR reports
According to the police report, a Waffle House employee asked Zobrist to leave the restaurant due to her behavior.
Zobrist later returned and verbally abused the employee. She also threatened to get a gun and shoot the man in the face along with all the restaurant's employees and customers.
Following the conversation, Zobrist walked to the parking lot and pulled down her pants, exposing her sexual organs. She then began dancing around in the parking lot.
With her pants still down, Zobrist walked up to the Waffle House employee and locked both sides of his face. A witness says Zobrist also blocked his vehicle inside the parking lot and danced naked in front of his car.
PENSACOLA, Fla. - A Florida woman was arrested after she undressed and danced around a Waffle House parking lot before licking a stranger on the face.
Freedom Ryder Zobrist, 38, was arrested Monday in Pensacola on lewd and indecent exposure of sexual organs charges, as well as disorderly conduct, battery and assault, WEAR reports
According to the police report, a Waffle House employee asked Zobrist to leave the restaurant due to her behavior.
Zobrist later returned and verbally abused the employee. She also threatened to get a gun and shoot the man in the face along with all the restaurant's employees and customers.
Following the conversation, Zobrist walked to the parking lot and pulled down her pants, exposing her sexual organs. She then began dancing around in the parking lot.
With her pants still down, Zobrist walked up to the Waffle House employee and locked both sides of his face. A witness says Zobrist also blocked his vehicle inside the parking lot and danced naked in front of his car.
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Police: Man attacks woman in Florida over too much TV talk
PALM BAY, Fla. (AP) — Police in Florida say a man shoved a handgun into a woman’s mouth after she complained he was talking too much during a TV show.
The Florida Today reports 55-year-old Calvin Lindsey was arrested at a home in Palm Bay on battery and assault charges.
Palm Bay police did not specify the show they were watching. After she complained he talked too much, Lindsey went into the master bedroom and shut the door. When the woman went in to get a blanket, she heard the sound of a shotgun being racked. She told him he was trying to intimidate her, but then he pushed her down and placed the barrel of a handgun in her mouth. Police said the woman broke her tooth.
It is not clear if Lindsey had an attorney.
PALM BAY, Fla. (AP) — Police in Florida say a man shoved a handgun into a woman’s mouth after she complained he was talking too much during a TV show.
The Florida Today reports 55-year-old Calvin Lindsey was arrested at a home in Palm Bay on battery and assault charges.
Palm Bay police did not specify the show they were watching. After she complained he talked too much, Lindsey went into the master bedroom and shut the door. When the woman went in to get a blanket, she heard the sound of a shotgun being racked. She told him he was trying to intimidate her, but then he pushed her down and placed the barrel of a handgun in her mouth. Police said the woman broke her tooth.
It is not clear if Lindsey had an attorney.
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Theolodius_Black
Whoopin suckas with a bag of oranges
A Florida man thread
There was one recently in Ocala where buddy found a WW2 hand grenade but instead of reporting it, he went to taco bell :Booklaugh:
There was one recently in Ocala where buddy found a WW2 hand grenade but instead of reporting it, he went to taco bell :Booklaugh:
Inmate bites off piece of other inmate’s ear in Miami
JANUARY 28, 2019
7 News WSVN
MIAMI (WSVN) - One inmate bit off a piece of another inmate’s ear at the Miami-Dade Pre-trial Detention Center.
The incident occurred on Sunday when MG Wells held the victim down and bit his left ear.
According to the arrest report, once the piece of the victim’s ear was removed, Wells did not stop attacking the victim and bit his face leaving teeth marks.
The victim was transported to Jackson Memorial Hospital.
Wells faces an new charge of felony battery in addition to his previous charges of murder, arson and aggravated battery.
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nikka said that mouth was trashDeputies: Florida woman shot after performing sexual act for $5 and Pringles
Deputies: Florida woman shot after performing sexual act for $5 and Pringles
Samantha Branca
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (WSVN) — A Florida woman was shot after she performed a sexual act for $5 and Pringles chips, said deputies.
According to FOX 30, the woman was shot at a Shell gas station in Jacksonville at around 10:30 p.m., Monday.
The woman agreed to the exchange, but then after the act, was performed, the suspect demanded his $5 back and shot her in the shoulder, the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office told the station.
The shooter then fled the scene on foot.
According to deputies, the woman did not suffer any life-threatening injuries, and they are currently investigating the incident.
The first time I saw "not here in florida" was on the news and i died laughing bc I had been here for 2 months and its been nothing but fukkery. It must be the air or something here bc people really are specialshyt so bad now our local news has to put fukkery disclaimers up to protect our state
NOT IN FLORIDA - Yeah, Florida can't claim this one. A family's surveillance camera recorded a man ferociously licking the doorbell of a house in California. Naturally, they wiped the doorbell down after they found out.
Man caught on camera licking stranger’s doorbell
Florida man accused of killing family after being kicked out for stealing $210K for obsession with porn site model
Courtesy: Seminole County Sheriff's Office
Associated Press
SANFORD, Fla. (AP) — A Florida man killed his parents and brother after he was kicked out of his home and accused of stealing $210,000 from his family to send to a woman he had met on a porn website, according to a sheriff’s office.
Grant Amato, 29, has been charged with three counts of first-degree murder in the deaths of his parents, Chad and Margaret Ann Amato, and brother Cody.
Seminole County Sheriff’s Office deputies found the victims’ bodies Friday in their Chuluota home after a co-worker reported that Cody Amato had not shown up for work.
Grant Amato was arrested and ordered held without bail Monday.
The Orlando Sentinel reports that according to an affidavit, Cody Amato’s girlfriend told deputies Grant Amato had stolen $60,000 and guns from his brother. She said Grant Amato had recently been kicked out of a training program to become a nurse anesthetist and stole the money to talk to a Bulgarian woman he met online. She also said Cody Amato told her he was afraid Grant “would kill everyone.”
Another brother, Jason Amato, told investigators Grant had stolen $150,000 from their father.
In an interview with investigators, Grant Amato said he had argued with his parents over his relationship with the woman he met through an adult website and that his parents told him he could have no contact with her if he wanted to continue living at their home.
Amato said he began a 60-day internet- and sex-addiction treatment program in Fort Lauderdale in late December at his parents’ request, but he left after a few weeks.
“Grant Amato initially agreed to the rules his father had set, but he didn’t think they were fair because he felt that the Bulgarian female was his girlfriend and they had a relationship,” the affidavit said.
According to the affidavit, in response to seeing crime-scene pictures of his parents and brother, Amato said “his family had been blaming him for months for ruining their lives … so he might as well be blamed for this, too.”
The Sentinel reported that last year, authorities responded twice to calls about Amato’s behavior.
In June, Orlando police responded to AdventHealth Orlando, where he worked as a nurse, about a report of a suicidal person. Officers said Amato did not meet the criteria to be held for observation as a danger to himself or others, but he was arrested on a grand theft charge for allegedly stealing vials of Propofol, a powerful sedative.
Amato said he took the drug for patients who were not “adequately relaxed by doctor-ordered medication,” according to a police report. Prosecutors opted against filing charges against him.
On Dec. 20, his mother and brother reported that Amato was missing, depressed and possibly suicidal after losing his job and failing out of school. They also told deputies Amato had access to guns.
Jail records did not show whether Amato had an attorney.
Courtesy: Seminole County Sheriff's OfficeAssociated Press
SANFORD, Fla. (AP) — A Florida man killed his parents and brother after he was kicked out of his home and accused of stealing $210,000 from his family to send to a woman he had met on a porn website, according to a sheriff’s office.
Grant Amato, 29, has been charged with three counts of first-degree murder in the deaths of his parents, Chad and Margaret Ann Amato, and brother Cody.
Seminole County Sheriff’s Office deputies found the victims’ bodies Friday in their Chuluota home after a co-worker reported that Cody Amato had not shown up for work.
Grant Amato was arrested and ordered held without bail Monday.
The Orlando Sentinel reports that according to an affidavit, Cody Amato’s girlfriend told deputies Grant Amato had stolen $60,000 and guns from his brother. She said Grant Amato had recently been kicked out of a training program to become a nurse anesthetist and stole the money to talk to a Bulgarian woman he met online. She also said Cody Amato told her he was afraid Grant “would kill everyone.”
Another brother, Jason Amato, told investigators Grant had stolen $150,000 from their father.
In an interview with investigators, Grant Amato said he had argued with his parents over his relationship with the woman he met through an adult website and that his parents told him he could have no contact with her if he wanted to continue living at their home.
Amato said he began a 60-day internet- and sex-addiction treatment program in Fort Lauderdale in late December at his parents’ request, but he left after a few weeks.
“Grant Amato initially agreed to the rules his father had set, but he didn’t think they were fair because he felt that the Bulgarian female was his girlfriend and they had a relationship,” the affidavit said.
According to the affidavit, in response to seeing crime-scene pictures of his parents and brother, Amato said “his family had been blaming him for months for ruining their lives … so he might as well be blamed for this, too.”
The Sentinel reported that last year, authorities responded twice to calls about Amato’s behavior.
In June, Orlando police responded to AdventHealth Orlando, where he worked as a nurse, about a report of a suicidal person. Officers said Amato did not meet the criteria to be held for observation as a danger to himself or others, but he was arrested on a grand theft charge for allegedly stealing vials of Propofol, a powerful sedative.
Amato said he took the drug for patients who were not “adequately relaxed by doctor-ordered medication,” according to a police report. Prosecutors opted against filing charges against him.
On Dec. 20, his mother and brother reported that Amato was missing, depressed and possibly suicidal after losing his job and failing out of school. They also told deputies Amato had access to guns.
Jail records did not show whether Amato had an attorney.
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Omg, yooo... I cant.
That’s her way of sabotaging the party that her own daughter was at?Who’s feces was it? that’s a lot of shyt to cover 7 tables. 