What can be done so that black men are less commitment-phobic?

[MaxPain]

Where is your documentation to prove all of this^?



The Bible says it's a good idea not to get married, and many of my married Christian friends have told me the same...

Verse? I gotta see this lol

 

[BruhManFromTheFifthFlo]

When these hoes ass stop being phat is when that’ll happen. Until then

 

[O.T.I.S.]

There's a lot of scared, insecure little boys running around here.

Some mask it with violence, some go the path of least resistance and PAWG/PAAG, and others wallow their own self pity and die alone.

At the end of the day you need to commit to have somebody. Not saying get married, that ain't for everyone, but you do need to have a ride or die in your back pocket...which 9 times out of 10, results in marriage

Why does the color a black man chooses to be with have anything to do with black men getting married


When I said EVERY black man I knew (that wasn’t single) was married I meant in general...

Whether it was to a black, white, latina, asian woman, etc. There is no path of “least resistance”, marriage is marriage, and the stereotype from this thread was that black men don’t like to commit in GENERAL... which isn’t true.


Oh, and before the fake militants come in to , most of the black men I know are married to black women.

But I will say as a whole, black people need to get their shyt together before we start mass blaming each other about whats happening with black families

 

[Kenny West]

Bring back possesive fathers and shotgun weddings

 

[Kiyoshi-Dono]

The problem with marriage is not about the partner and having children, responsibilities

It's the backlash if the marriage that doesn't work that worries men of all backgrounds - today

Also many people today still define marriage with old traditions when they are not or do not move like old traditions. Too many people today want marriage for the title and the financial security, not the emotional, children, family security that marriage is suppose to come with.

 

[tater]

commitment for What?

I get everything I could possibly want out of just being friends & dating to commit

When women collectively as a whole decide you can't get

sex
Home cooked meal
Intimacy
Back Rubs
Facial Grooming(I like a woman to pick at my face)

unless you commit to them that's when things will change with courting & the dating realm

Otherwise Imma keep doing what I've been doing cause it works & I still get what I want

This is my favorite past time. Do you have ingrown hairs? Prone to pimples/blackheads?


PM me

 

[ZoeGod]

I’m still in grad school. I still want to get married. My parents are Haitian immigrants and they got married. Marriage is very important in haitian culture because family is very important. However I want to be financially ready and have my career solidified before I get married. Plus I want to find a black women who is going forward in her career and is feminine, plus knows her wifely duties as I know my husband duties. And most importantly we are both financially stable before we have children. Marriage should be based on two things:
1)passing your genes to keep the black race alive
2) building wealth together.

The reason why the black community is in chaos because single motherhood is pervasive in our community. We are last in every economic metric and adding single mother hood is like giving someone with metastatic cancer AIDS. It worsens our collective condition. In the end tho I don’t see any major change coming. We see more and more dysfunction,disunity between us and more poverty. America is about to hit the shytter. Soon social benefits that will be cut or cease to exist which will further devastate the community. Marriage is important in an economic and racial survival aspect.










































I’ll still do what typical Haitian husbands like both my Grandpops did. I’ll have2-3 mistresses hanging around. I ain’t gonna knock them up.
God rest your soul Grandpas

 

[Anerdyblackguy]

You sure it’s not economics and risk aversions that’s the major factor?

This generation has a lot of differences than the previous generation.

-We have student loan debt to our eyeballs ( especially those who pursue the big three MBA,JD,MD). Also if you add the massive amount of black Americans who attend for profit colleges ( useless degree + High debt)

-The debt situation leads many to put off marriage considering the added financial problem ( Black men not making enough + Black Women having the highest student loan debt) it would make wealth accumulation ( purchasing a home, using upper middle class tax incentives....538 plans) very difficult to obtain. Think of the Kanye West lyric from Joy

“I never understood planned parenthood
Cause I never met nobody plan to be a parent in the hood”
-Kanye West Joy

^^^This same lyric can be applied to marriage as well.


-An abnormal demographic problem (1 million black men missing) which leads to black women ( assuming they want black men) to be more aggressive ( not in a negative annotation) towards securing a black male husband (willing to give it up easier, cosmetic transformations, assuming the role of financial breadwinner, etc). This leads to us observing our options more stringently considering the adverse effects of striking out ( Divorce)


And this is probably the major reason(s).

 

[BaggerofTea]

If a woman wants commitment, she dates men on her level. It’s very simple

This is the crux of the issue

 

[Taadow]

Verse? I gotta see this lol

1st Corinthians 7:25-38 New International Version (NIV)

Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.

 

[Mr. Glass]

It's not about commitment.

Just don't have babies with these females until you're truly ready and you want them, and you'll be fine for life.

If you run through females and never plant a seed, you're winning.

 

[BaggerofTea]

Maybe try rewarding the minority amount of men that embrace monogamy.

According to simps and women "women don't owe you anything" so my motivation to commit to any woman is low.

Ever since I have heard feminists running with this trope, I make sure I don't commit to a woman.

 

[MaxPain]

Maybe try rewarding the minority amount of men that embrace monogamy.

According to simps and women "women don't owe you anything" so my motivation to commit to any woman is low.

Gonna print this and plaster it on my wall.

 

[MaxPain]

Good point brought up in here, what entitles these broads to committment:Denzelcrackinup:


Cuz most these broads aint shyt & most dudes have way too many options to wanna settle down. Or both of the above.

Waste of time.

 

[Taadow]

By the way,

Men are not commitment-phobic; commitments are easy to make...
commitments are also easy to break.

What people should be looking for is "dedication".
When somebody is really dedicated to something, their commitments actually mean something.