I’m on my whatever 1000th watch of Cowboy Bebop. The series has always aired on Cartoon Network in some shape or form. I remember being around 8-10 years old always trying to stay up late so in my mind I felt ‘grown’ and I always knew I accomplished my mission when Cowboy Bebop was on. Any American in their early 20’s who watched television nonstop as a child can vouch for me and say that Cartoon Network is truly not Cartoon Network unless either Cowboy Bebop or Inuyasha played in that 3 or 4 am time slot. The majority of my life, Toonami or Adult Swim as a late-night program on Cartoon Network, aired one of these two shows. Bebop would hit the air and as a child I would feel accomplished as an adult. The thing is I never truly payed attention to Bebop because as soon as it would air I’d pass out.
Time went on and eventually I got older. I got lucky enough to grow up during this time period because I have access to the internet which basically has access to everything you want to watch or listen too. So, I’ve basically watched Cowboy Bebop a dozen times. On this 19342384th watch its finally hitting me on a deep level. I always knew Bebop was good but I could never tell anyone why. Now that I look back on it, I was basically calling this series a classic because everyone else does. I finally can say this series is one of the greatest to ever do it.
This is not some final review of Bebop from me. I just had to express my thoughts from where I am at right now. However, before I get into the episode that has me like “damn!” I want to say for some reason I always associated this series with good memories and feelings to the point whenever its on I got nothing to complain about because I will always have a good time, which is most likely the nostalgic first paragraph. And I say that to say this- Cowboy Bebop is sad as fukk. It’s a simple a story but when you can fully understand the art behind it its deep and impactful full of emotion, which is consumed most of pain. And that is why the Jazz throughout the series is so point on because the series itself is jazz. I never realized for some fukking reason that the characters in the show lived life in the struggle taking L’z daily never actually getting a huge bounty worth a dime to fill their stomachs. I guess I was just amazed with how cool I thought Spike was?
But the episode that caught my attention is episode 18, “speak like a child.” The episode revolved around Faye getting a random package whom she thought it was someone asking for money or some negative altercation that would get her into trouble so she disappeared from the crew the entire episode doing random shyt like gambling. Spike, Jet, and Ed find out that inside the package is a beta tape so they spend the entire episode looking for something that will play it. The end of the episode is so emotional to me. The crew gets back together to watch the beta tape not knowing what’s going to air. It’s a tape of a young Faye recording herself in many situations so when she’s an adult she can look back at this for a message. A couple episodes before Faye tells her backstory on how she was brought back to life after basically being frozen and preserved but somehow she has no idea how she got there or how old she is or anything from her past. The scene that got me the most was the younger version of Faye woke up and gave her future self an amazing quote in my opinion.
“today, you are who you are today see, you’re still me but you’re a newer version. Myself ten years from now. It’s so far away it’s hard for me to imagine. Am I alone? Or is there a wonderful person next to me? Knowing me I’m probably causing lots of trouble for many people. I’m sorry I don’t mean to. But it’s alright. That’s part of life, anyways isn’t it? You’re not perfect but you got a lot to give, so remember I’ll always be cheering you on.”
"And now a big cheer from my heart. Let's... go... me, alright! Do your best! Do your best! Don't lose, me!"
These quotes are from young Faye on that beta tape. And it hits me man it’s so deep. On the episode where she revealed she doesn’t know her past Spikes response was “does it matter? You have a future.” Then I revert back to Faye watching the beta tape with Spike, Jet, and Ed. It actually looked like Faye came from somewhere that had a good upbringing. The video consisted of what looked to be like her classmates, which I’m just making a guess but it seems like a private school. Faye would also go on all these nice adventures she would with her camera. And to how her room was loaded with toys, great sheets, antiques, and a great view outside. When she asked where would she be in ten years I’m pretty sure she didn’t have being a broke bounty hunter in space after coming back from being frozen came to mind.
But like Spike said, does it matter? Somehow it reminds me of myself. I used to always fantasize about the future wondering where would I be and if I would be with someone or what type of life I would be living. And now I spend a lot of the time thinking about the past and trying to remember specific moments vividly ignoring what’s happening now. I relate faye to myself now. Everything that happened in the past and what Faye once was literally doesn’t matter. I think about old heads always telling me stories about what they used to do and how what they did was popular or their group was popular and even amazing accomplishments they did. The old heads tell me their stories from the past 20 years which were huge at the time and I appreciate the stories but in the grand scheme of them all they don’t matter or affect anything now. Faye could somehow remember her past but what does it really accomplish? I could sit and remanence about the past but what does it accomplish while I’m in college? Faye chasing her past is ignoring the great group she has with Spike, Jet, and Ed because obviously that won’t last forever. I still think of some certain image I believe I have or think about a group of friends I used to be with or amazing accomplishments or bad things I’ve done but none of that matters. Today I am who I am today. I’m still me but I’m a newer version of me and the only thing I can do is cheer myself on to be the best me.
I know what I basically said was trash right now but its hard to put into words how it made me feel. I know one day when I rewatch the entire series again I’ll be able to express it more. Faye’s story is just sad as fukk to me. Faye’s past is obviously something she wants to remember but honestly it doesn’t matter instead she should be enjoying her time with the group right now because 20 years from now it seems like she will be sitting back thinking about that group. Maybe it’s a human trait?
Ahhhhh sorry for this trash though process I’m pissed at myself for typing this wack shyt out.
. The low quality hard coded subtitle option they have is disgusting af 
. Those fansub groups really put time into the formatting of their subs, so why can't funimation 
just refinished the series. 