Victim of Colorism or simply Jealous? @WonderCheeks

[Swagnificent]

Anyone claiming colorism isn’t real than can you defend the terms redbone and yellowbone? Why do they exists? Or how about the paperbag test?

Descriptive terms. Like tall dark and handsome. I'm light skin and don't catch feelings over terms like that when they apply to men. Why would women catch feelings in the reverse?

 

[Chelsea Bridge]

Descriptive terms. Like tall dark and handsome. I'm light skin and don't catch feelings over terms like that when they apply to men. Why would women catch feelings in the reverse?

Them existing is the problem. You not caring doesn’t change that. The context is what matters and you all are being so obtuse about it. It’s ridiculous.

 

[Antwon Mitchell]

While I do believe that colorism is real, my thing is that I don't want to automatically assume/label a bruh as a colorist because I see him with a light (or lighter than him) shade woman.

That's where I feel like this situation can be unfair because we're automatically just labeling a black man as colorist since his woman isn't dark as (or darker than) himself.

Another thing is that subliminally these conversations have an underlying feeling of "segregating" in the sense that only darkskin should date darkskin, only brownskin should date brownskin & only lightskin should date lightskin.

 

[Swagnificent]

It ain't?

That racism stupid. Not colorism. The preference for white over black is RACISM. When people are talking colorism its with regard to INTRA-RACIAL preference.

Nobody has denied racism and white supremacy is real.

 

[Swagnificent]

Them existing is the problem. You not caring doesn’t change that. The context is what matters and you all are being so obtuse about it. It’s ridiculous.

No. I'm not being obtuse. I'm just not an insecure person. When I hear women say they prefer dark skin guys I don't catch feelings because I know what they really mean. What women are saying is that they want a masculine man. And darker skin men are STEREOTYPED as being more masculine. Does that mean every dark skin guy is masculine? No. Does it mean every light skin man isn't? Also no. Whether or not the stereotype is true is irrelevant. I simply carry myself in a masculine manner and have never had any issues with attracting the opposite sex.

The reverse is true for women. Men when they say they prefer light skin women are really saying they want a feminine woman. Are all light skin women feminine? No. Are all dark skin women not feminine? Also no. Once again whether these stereotypes are true or not is irrelevant. Stop being insecure and carry yourself in a feminine manner and you'll have men interested in you regardless of skin tone.

 

[Swagnificent]

Some black men are colorist to the core man. They see lighter skin and automatically think they are finer. Women like Ella mai are overhyped because they are light lol. I would date her just as quick as I would date the lighter skin women. In my case, I just don't want people to assume that I am another colorist negro dating a light skin woman.

What you said is complete bullshyt. Men hype up any attractive woman. The white media might promote more light skin women and thus more of them get hyped. But don't act like black men don't go crazy for attractive dark skin women as well. Most of the complaints ya'll have about alleged colorism is really just complaints about white supremacy.

 

[Swagnificent]

I gotta serious question. What do people get out of denying colorism and the effects of social conditioning in our community?
Like not even trying to be snarky or anything. Maybe we should take some time to look at the history of it in our community to get some perspective.

It could be that people legitimately don’t know it exists particularly in terms of dating. When I come back to this thread over the next few days I’ll post some historical info on the phenomenon and some interesting info.

Colorism doesn't exist when it comes to dating. Our sexual preferences in the opposite sex are hardwired by millions of years of biological evolution. And at no point was skin color one of those preferences. Dark skin girls who are pretty like Taral Hicks are not gonna have any problems attracting a man (of any race). People who complain about colorism are just not that attractive to begin with.

Now if you wanna say colorism exists in the media in terms of who is promoted. Then yes I would agree with that. We live in a white supremacist world so of course the white power structure is gonna only promote traits that are as close to whiteness as possible. So yes its true light skin women are promoted more in the media. And that may affect us through social programming to say we prefer light skin women. But at the end of the day we are still prisoners of our genes and if a bad dark skin girl comes along no man is gonna say no to her regardless of how much media manipulation there is.

 

[Swagnificent]

Colorism is very real but black woman are completely full of shyt on the issue because they’re only concerned with it from a superficial selfish aspect. This is proven because black women who are the biggest colorism advocates are pro-swirl not pro black. Black women that whine about colorism are rarely if ever truly pro black. Usually they’re color struck themselves and they project their self hate on others. It’s the victimhood hustle. Darker skinned black women will project their self hate on black men as a way to deflect and shield themselves from criticism for putting lighter/white skin on a pedestal themselves. If you’re pro swirl then you have absolutely no leg to stand on when complaining about colorism. Serena, Venus, Jodie, etc and all black women like them are all full of shyt. Those women chose white boys because they’re self hating and color struck themselves.

We have to start acknowledging harsh truths. Black women are more color struck than black men and this is evidence by darker skinned black men being much more comfortable in their own skin. Dark skinned black men aren’t running around with white or Asian male textured hair glued/sewn to their scalp and all that. The average black male doesn’t look as if he’s in competition with white or Asian men. This is why darker skinned black men aren’t as concerned with colorism.

Due to the fact that women in general have an inherent nature to use their looks/attractiveness to benefit themselves coupled with the fact that black women aren’t pro black and are on some “get in where I fit in” shyt, they’re much more effected by the European standard of beauty. This puts darker skinned black women at the BIGGEST disadvantage because they’re the women who’s natural features are farthest from the white standard of beauty. So when society judges women by the current white standard of beauty, darker skinned black women will automatically be deemed least attractive.

Black women are perpetuating their own beauty oppression by trying to conform to the white standard of beauty. Shaming black men for preferring lighter skinned women above darker skinned women is nonsensical when you’ve bought into the white standard of beauty yourselves. On average a lighter skinned black chic will be more attractive than a darker skinned black chic because the lighter skinned black chics don’t have to go as far to reach the white standard of beauty. Euro/Asian textured weave/wigs, light colored contacts, blonde hair color, etc all generally looks better on lighter skinned women vs darker skinned women. That’s a harsh truth. This is where the constant whining about colorism and the overall resentment/self within darker skinned black women comes into play. They’re mad at the game(systematic white supremacy) but they hate on the players(black men and women who are victims just like they are).

Black women have to reclaim their natural beauty and create their own beauty standards which is obviously easier said than done, but it’s the only way to truly counteract colorism. Colorism will always breed self hate as long as we as blacks are buying into the standard of beauty that we’ve been born and raised in.

I think you're right in general but this has nothing to do with black women trying to conform to a european standard of beauty. Or black men being comfortable in their own skin. Men and women have different values to the opposite sex. A man's looks are simply not as valuable to women as what he can bring to the table financially. Similarly a woman can have all the money in the world but that won't attract a man's attention as much as her looks.

A lot of the black women complaining about colorism are simply not that attractive and rather than accepting their status in society they would rather shame men into liking them. Men simply don't operate at that same level of pettiness.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

Now if you wanna say colorism exists in the media in terms of who is promoted. Then yes I would agree with that. We live in a white supremacist world so of course the white power structure is gonna only promote traits that are as close to whiteness as possible. So yes its true light skin women are promoted more in the media. And that may affect us through social programming to say we prefer light skin women. But at the end of the day we are still prisoners of our genes and if a bad dark skin girl comes along no man is gonna say no to her regardless of how much media manipulation there is.

This is all I’m saying.

Preferences aren’t the issue. Going out of your way to literally hate on somebody and carrying vitriol in ur heart for somebody that hasn’t done anything to you simply b/c of the color of their skin is social conditioning. Then accusing them of being insecure or ugly just for sharing or for having legitimate gripes about their experiences is the way we deny and try to pretend there is an issue.
I don’t think it’s just blk women who go thru this shyt. I think blk men go thru it too.

But getting angry or resentful or accusing people of lying about their experiences with the shyt doesn’t help us get to the bottom of the problem. I don’t think anyone who finds someone with light skin attractive is a self-hater. Nor do I think having a sole preference for somebody light or dark is an issue.

But when you start using harmful stereotypes to justify ur preferences like calling dark skinned women masculine or light skinned men feminine, and other stupid shyt, that’s a clear indication of social programming.

In addition to the self-hate programmed into our community via our music, media, imagery, lies in research presented about us, there is also a larger dynamic of personality traits and archetypes categorized arbitrarily according to color schemes. Good vs. evil corresponding to light and dark. Masculine and feminine, dirty vs. purity.

When u layer those deeper social dichotomies on top of our racist history, you get an image of blackness and femininity that has been demonized in a way that renders black women in comparison to white women as being associated with negative categories much like black men are portrayed negatively in comparison to white men. Black women naked sold on auction blocks in juxtaposition to white women being so pure that someone even looking or accused of doing so resulted in the torture and lynching of blk males.

The extent to which the image of blk females, particularly those farthest from any approximation of stereotyped whiteness in skin tone and in physical features like hair, body shape, and the like has been turned into a negative and is continually undermined today is something I’m glad people are starting to unpack and expose.
In the end, the journey to self-love has to happen in spite of the ignorance we are inundated with on the daily. But it’s helpful in the initiation of a shift in cultural paradigms for people to share the shyt they have gone through so others suffering understand that their concerns are legitimate.

I mean a few generations ago we literally had shyt like brown paper bag tests and there has been legal precedent needed for blk women in schools just to be able to wear their hair the way it grows out of its heads. I’m not even dark skinned and I’ve seen some of this shyt for myself, so I can’t even sit and front like ever dark skinned person that went thru this shyt is just ugly and insecure and using excuses.

 

[Gravity]

I think you're right in general but this has nothing to do with black women trying to conform to a european standard of beauty. Or black men being comfortable in their own skin. Men and women have different values to the opposite sex. A man's looks are simply not as valuable to women as what he can bring to the table financially. Similarly a woman can have all the money in the world but that won't attract a man's attention as much as her looks.

A lot of the black women complaining about colorism are simply not that attractive and rather than accepting their status in society they would rather shame men into liking them. Men simply don't operate at that same level of pettiness.

All that “men value looks, women value financial stability” talk is simple. It’s a broad generalization. Women definitely value looks especially in a technologically advanced world where societies are deliberately blurring traditional gender roles. Women might not value looks as much as men do but the definitely value looks. You’d be surprised at what women will do for men that they’re physically attracted to.

That’s all irrelevant to my point anyway. Yes, colorism is a used as a crutch by unattractive darker skinned women, but my point is that darker skinned women would be more attractive if they weren’t trying to fit the white standard of beauty. If darker skinned women had more confidence, enough to where they embraced and flaunted their features they’d be more attractive. When you see an unattractive darker skinned chic is usually because she’s out of shape, sloppy and tacky. It’s not because they’re inherently unattractive.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

Also in reference to the chick in the OP. I think she’s very pretty...

 

[Anerdyblackguy]

Colorism is very real but black woman are completely full of shyt on the issue because they’re only concerned with it from a superficial selfish aspect. This is proven because black women who are the biggest colorism advocates are pro-swirl not pro black. Black women that whine about colorism are rarely if ever truly pro black. Usually they’re color struck themselves and they project their self hate on others. It’s the victimhood hustle. Darker skinned black women will project their self hate on black men as a way to deflect and shield themselves from criticism for putting lighter/white skin on a pedestal themselves. If you’re pro swirl then you have absolutely no leg to stand on when complaining about colorism. Serena, Venus, Jodie, etc and all black women like them are all full of shyt. Those women chose white boys because they’re self hating and color struck themselves.

We have to start acknowledging harsh truths. Black women are more color struck than black men and this is evidence by darker skinned black men being much more comfortable in their own skin. Dark skinned black men aren’t running around with white or Asian male textured hair glued/sewn to their scalp and all that. The average black male doesn’t look as if he’s in competition with white or Asian men. This is why darker skinned black men aren’t as concerned with colorism.

Due to the fact that women in general have an inherent nature to use their looks/attractiveness to benefit themselves coupled with the fact that black women aren’t pro black and are on some “get in where I fit in” shyt, they’re much more effected by the European standard of beauty. This puts darker skinned black women at the BIGGEST disadvantage because they’re the women who’s natural features are farthest from the white standard of beauty. So when society judges women by the current white standard of beauty, darker skinned black women will automatically be deemed least attractive.

Black women are perpetuating their own beauty oppression by trying to conform to the white standard of beauty. Shaming black men for preferring lighter skinned women above darker skinned women is nonsensical when you’ve bought into the white standard of beauty yourselves. On average a lighter skinned black chic will be more attractive than a darker skinned black chic because the lighter skinned black chics don’t have to go as far to reach the white standard of beauty. Euro/Asian textured weave/wigs, light colored contacts, blonde hair color, etc all generally looks better on lighter skinned women vs darker skinned women. That’s a harsh truth. This is where the constant whining about colorism and the overall resentment/self within darker skinned black women comes into play. They’re mad at the game(systematic white supremacy) but they hate on the players(black men and women who are victims just like they are).

Black women have to reclaim their natural beauty and create their own beauty standards which is obviously easier said than done, but it’s the only way to truly counteract colorism. Colorism will always breed self hate as long as we as blacks are buying into the standard of beauty that we’ve been born and raised in.

Pure piff. You’ve been on game the last few weeks.

 

[Serious]

Colorism is very real but black woman are completely full of shyt on the issue because they’re only concerned with it from a superficial selfish aspect. This is proven because black women who are the biggest colorism advocates are pro-swirl not pro black. Black women that whine about colorism are rarely if ever truly pro black. Usually they’re color struck themselves and they project their self hate on others. It’s the victimhood hustle. Darker skinned black women will project their self hate on black men as a way to deflect and shield themselves from criticism for putting lighter/white skin on a pedestal themselves. If you’re pro swirl then you have absolutely no leg to stand on when complaining about colorism. Serena, Venus, Jodie, etc and all black women like them are all full of shyt. Those women chose white boys because they’re self hating and color struck themselves.

We have to start acknowledging harsh truths. Black women are more color struck than black men and this is evidence by darker skinned black men being much more comfortable in their own skin. Dark skinned black men aren’t running around with white or Asian male textured hair glued/sewn to their scalp and all that. The average black male doesn’t look as if he’s in competition with white or Asian men. This is why darker skinned black men aren’t as concerned with colorism.

Due to the fact that women in general have an inherent nature to use their looks/attractiveness to benefit themselves coupled with the fact that black women aren’t pro black and are on some “get in where I fit in” shyt, they’re much more effected by the European standard of beauty. This puts darker skinned black women at the BIGGEST disadvantage because they’re the women who’s natural features are farthest from the white standard of beauty. So when society judges women by the current white standard of beauty, darker skinned black women will automatically be deemed least attractive.

Black women are perpetuating their own beauty oppression by trying to conform to the white standard of beauty. Shaming black men for preferring lighter skinned women above darker skinned women is nonsensical when you’ve bought into the white standard of beauty yourselves. On average a lighter skinned black chic will be more attractive than a darker skinned black chic because the lighter skinned black chics don’t have to go as far to reach the white standard of beauty. Euro/Asian textured weave/wigs, light colored contacts, blonde hair color, etc all generally looks better on lighter skinned women vs darker skinned women. That’s a harsh truth. This is where the constant whining about colorism and the overall resentment/self within darker skinned black women comes into play. They’re mad at the game(systematic white supremacy) but they hate on the players(black men and women who are victims just like they are).

Black women have to reclaim their natural beauty and create their own beauty standards which is obviously easier said than done, but it’s the only way to truly counteract colorism. Colorism will always breed self hate as long as we as blacks are buying into the standard of beauty that we’ve been born and raised in.

I don't agree with everything you said, but 90% of it is on point.

 

[philmonroe]

Wow, did you make a post about me?

I will admit I’m envious of her hair because I cut mine and I’m ready for it to grow back.

And colorism is an issue and why some men pick women. I have two friends who are definitely better looking than me, one with a killer body, and I’ve had men pick me over them just because I’m lighter. After the fact a man told that one of them would be bad if she wasn’t so dark.

Colorism isn't an issue at all. Its just something naturally ugly people use as a crutch to try to shame people into liking their ugly asses. That bullshyt only works online though because IRL people will tell you tough shyt and you're not entitled to jack shyt. FOH. A man say chicks don't want him because of "colorism" nikka getting into oblivion but some men because they desperate for p*ssy IMO let these ugly chick get away with this bullshyt.

 

[philmonroe]

"I guarantee to you 100% of Black men only noticed this woman because of her BODY regardless of skin shade."

You cant be serious..

Whats up with you men moving like LSA bytches? Desperate for p*ssy ass nikkas