That’s pretty stupid when Roland lived with a woman for almost 10 years, and the very first episode wanted to take Purple to a brothel before the case even started.
The Hoyt family is demons and they part of the season 1 group. Same state .
Is it stupid? It could mean dude is in the closet and trying to play up to the macho cop. Roland clearly has a connection with Tom that at times seems a little off.
Roland normally takes a lot of shyt but all it took was for Hays to say they should go and check out some gay bars for him to leave Hays in the rear view as he drove off, maybe he would've been recognised. Also perhaps finding out about Roland is something to do with how him and Hays stopped contact and also why Roland wants an apology from Hays.
Also could be a reason why it never worked out with him and that woman and how he never married or had kids.