I wouldn't call it mental illness and I understand it works out for some men. But to me? I would never do it. I don't want chaos or disorder in my life, on any level. My mom told me long ago you never mess with a woman with kids because if you have children with her, your children will naturally want to meet their step siblings. But you have no control or knowledge of what types of things those other kids are being exposed to, and at some point they will introduce your kids to something. They could be dealing with sexual harassment in that home, or witnessing drug use, or domestic violence etc. And they WILL introduce your kids to it. It's inevitable. I couldn't live with myself if one of my children got mentally or physically harmed because I willingly put them in position to be exposed to shyt they shouldn't have been exposed to.
Also I don't want to be around people who casually make bad decisions. It's one thing to be in a stable relationship, have a child, and your husband does some wild shyt or leaves you. I understand that. But that's not the case for MOST single mothers in our community. Most are just women who don't want to use protection, get pregnant by a dude who isn't shyt, and then boom your life gets turned upside down because you wouldn't tell a dude to wear a condom. Do you know how much money and time single mothers lose do you that shyt? If you casually make a decision to blow up your finances, blow up your free time, blow up your ability to work or go to school without needing help etc etc....I don't want to be around you on any level.