The worst pause offense you've ever committed in your life

Marezzy

RIP my Nikka Zooboomafo 🕊️11-20-2014🕊️
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Me and my best friend were roommates in our first apartment. We had a prank war going on. I was at work showing my manager, my new phone and what it can do and all of a sudden I got a text message saying hey baby with the contact name BIG CHOCOLATE JOHNSON. While I was asleep the night before he changed his name in my phone my manager just looked at me and said get back to work. He wouldn’t even let me explain myself.

Perfect Timing
 

™BlackPearl The Empress™

Long Live the Empire
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Today at work I have about 15 people waiting on me to tell them their work locations. Locations are called things like F.5, C.24 etc.

Their section today is in the Ds. The conversation went like this

Employee #1 (E1): What’s my area?
Me: D.18
E1: E.18?
Me: D...D.18...all ya'll get D today

**pause***

Me: :lolbron: That didn't sound right
E1: :dahell: No it didn't
E2: :russ:
E3: :pachaha:
 

BBG

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GAVE A FRIEND THE HEIMLICH AT A PARTY. IT WAS ON VIDEO AND EVERYTHING. I TOLD HIM HE WAS A DEADMAN IF IT HAPPENED AGAIN. I CAN'T AFFORD TO RENDER FIRST AID TO MY FRIENDS EVER AGAIN.

IT LOOKED SO BAD. THE CAMERA ANGLE WAS TERRIBLE. :laff:
Post the vid my boy this thread is therapy for the aforementioned near gay experiences
 

DetroitEWarren

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Detroit You bytch Ass nikka
I was only literarily offended, bro. I didn't think you made it up, but only because it was so bad. Nothing against you personally, though. I hope you have a great weekend!
Breh would hop into a Jay Z camel thread with a whole story about locating the long lost daughter of his 55yo migrant fiance, and marrying the daughter 2 .months later
 
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richaveli83

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Back in 2005 :flabbynsick:, me and my homie had pulled two decent looking Mexican girls from the club. The two girls and my homie were drunk AF and I was sober. Anyways we went cruising trying to find a motel that charges by the hour. We kept driving around and the girls were getting impatient so I decided to just get a regular motel for a whole night. I pull up and leave everyone in the car and walk in trying to get a room.

The front desk guy was a black man who kind of looked like the actor who played Clay Davis in The Wire. As I was waiting for the breh to give me the keys, my homeboy came in, still drunk, and yelled out, "What's taking so long?! My dikk is hard and I'm trying to fukk!":damn: I told my homeboy "Hold on, man! We'll be fukking in no time!":why:

I then looked at the motel attendant and he was looking at me like :what: . My homeboy bust out laughing but I didn't get it until we were walking back to the car and I realized what I said! :huhldup::dame: I wanted to go back in and explain it wasn't like that and that we got two girls in the car but my homeboy was like forget it. The worst part was the sex with those girls wasn't even good. :martin:
 

Macallik86

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Staying @ Caesar's Palace w/ the fellas back in the day and I was a broke boy back then so my friends let me crash in their room for free. I aint get a bed but didn't want to sleep on the floor, so since the room had large window sills in the floor-to-ceiling windows, I had the smart idea to set up camp there instead.

After about 10 minutes tryina get comfortable, I got frustrated and basically expressed my frustration out loud to no one in particular:

'Man this shyt is hard when you don't have a lot to work with'

Got burned w/ a nasty 'that's what she said' and it's also pause-worthy in retrospect. :scust:
 

BBG

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Staying @ Caesar's Palace w/ the fellas back in the day and I was a broke boy back then so my friends let me crash in their room for free. I aint get a bed but didn't want to sleep on the floor, so since the room had large window sills in the floor-to-ceiling windows, I had the smart idea to set up camp there instead.

After about 10 minutes tryina get comfortable, I got frustrated and basically expressed my frustration out loud to no one in particular:

'Man this shyt is hard when you don't have a lot to work with'

Got burned w/ a nasty 'that's what she said' and it's also pause-worthy in retrospect. :scust:
"Got burned with a nasty 'that's what she said '" who the hell talks like that :laff: where the coli detectives at man we have a potential spy cac on the move

@Neo. The Only. The One.
@BrothaZay
@R=G
@mozichrome
@Rekkapryde
@GoldenGlove

One of y'all gotta get to the bottom of this or at least know someone who can. I'm laughing but serious nikka I've never heard a black person use "burned" in that context before ever:mjlol::mjlol:













@Macallik86 got a weird vocabulary why is he around :hhh:


EDIT I'm just fukkin witchu mane don't take me serious lol
 
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