The Official Stand-Up Comedy Thread.

ugksam

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this week I embarrassed a really shytty douche bag open miker on stage in front of a bunch of people and then a couple days later I got heckled for the first time and ended up slamming said heckler on the pavement in the parking lot later that night. had some pretty decent sets too.

this is my favorite joke i wrote this week
"i want to open a restaurant, I have an idea for a Crip themed chinese food restaurant named 'C-Wok' "
 

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this week I embarrassed a really shytty douche bag open miker on stage in front of a bunch of people and then a couple days later I got heckled for the first time and ended up slamming said heckler on the pavement in the parking lot later that night. had some pretty decent sets too.

this is my favorite joke i wrote this week
"i want to open a restaurant, I have an idea for a Crip themed chinese food restaurant named 'C-Wok' "

you really just gonna throw that violence in there so casually. haha. wtf happened, man?
 

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Yeah since im in Columbus im gonna try to make some trips up to Cleveland and Cinci
 

ugksam

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you really just gonna throw that violence in there so casually. haha. wtf happened, man?
some drunk idiot wanted to be part of the show, he was talking/responding to the comedians during their sets and then afterwards telling them "that was so much fun, that was great" dude even tried to give me a hug after my set. anyways he decided he wanted to go up and try to do stand up. when he got on stage i started heckling him, i was doing this obnoxious scream-laugh so loud at him he couldnt even get a word in. he got really upset by this because all the other comics started up too and were just calling him an idiot and a moron.

after his set the show ended and he was really pissed, he got in the face of another comedian and asked him if he wanted to go out into the parking lot. so they went out in the parking lot and the drunk heckler claimed "IVE BEEN TRAINING KARATE 10 YEARS TO PREPARE FOR THIS" at which point the heckler pushed the other comedian and pawed at his face knocking his glasses off. the comedian in return punched the heckler 5 times in the face and then the fight got broken up. like 30 seconds after the fight got broken up the drunk heckler tried to run up and sucker punch the comic he just got beat up by, I however saw the shyt coming so i stepped forward, caught him when he was running full speed, wrapped my forearm around the heckler's neck and clotheslined/judo threw him onto asphalt. he hit his head hard on the ground and then after that he decided he didnt want to fight anymore. he was still pissed off so he yelled "NONE OF YOU ARE FUNNY, IVE BEEN WATCHING COMEDY CENTRAL FOR 10 YEARS!" then i got in my car and left really quick and got the fukk outta there.

the guy was such a drunk a$$hole that when the staff of the restaurant heard about the heckler beat down their response was basically "good, that guy was acting like an annoying a$$hole the entire night"
 

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^lmao! had a nikka in the car like "i'm start a comedy dojo" and shyt. sounds like he deserved that. i thought you were just beating people up for not liking your act. haha.
 

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Well here I go 4th time performing ever, I was ok, nervous as hell thought I could be better I hope yall can hear most of it, it was recorded thru a camera phone and the mics were awful, one of the other comics recorded it also so when he post the show I'll drop the link. I'm glad I went 1st tho some of the other comics lit it up (I wasn't the best but I wasn't the worst either) This show lit a fire up under me brehs I'm bout to put in work.


Good shyt.How old are you?
 

ugksam

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^lmao! had a nikka in the car like "i'm start a comedy dojo" and shyt. sounds like he deserved that. i thought you were just beating people up for not liking your act. haha.
i think i would have been less angry about the situation if the guy just legitimately didn't like my material. This guy was a textbook example of the worst kind of heckler. He didnt seem to understand interrupting everyone's set was heckling, like he thought he was part of the show or that he was helping the comedian by interrupting them. multiple comedians tried to tell him to shut the fukk up or shame him into shutting up but he was such an attention whore that acknowledging his existence only added fuel to the fire of him acting like an annoying douche.

in the future i know that the only real way to deal with this type of heckler is to kick them out of the venue.
 

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Good shyt stopping a sucker punch. Im a magnet for drunk a$$holes like that since im a somewhat bigger dude. They all feel the need to test me
 

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just one a little local comedy competition. no money but i got a silver bottle of sauza outta the deal. and i got a gig booked for thursday. damn i wish i had more coli folk out here in vegas. the scene is hella cool.
 

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Got my local talent search coming next week. Im feeling razor sharp on the three sets i want to do for it. I dont even care about the cash or the opportunity to open for a legit headliner as much as i want the crown 'funniest man in Columbus' im that type of douche lol
 

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Got my local talent search coming next week. Im feeling razor sharp on the three sets i want to do for it. I dont even care about the cash or the opportunity to open for a legit headliner as much as i want the crown 'funniest man in Columbus' im that type of douche lol

word. but it sounds like you gotta lotta stuff good to go. you could blow off opening up.
 

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Post your opening joke?

"I go by many names. Randall, Randy, and Morty. When I use that last one I tell really mediocre jokes, just to prove that not all Jews are funny."
 

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My takw is fukk that guy. Jokes are jokes and practical jokes between friends are cool at that level sometimes, but dont mess with ppls livelihoods
 
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