The Official Stand-Up Comedy Thread.

[True Blue Moon]

i went to a mic tonight and infront of a lot of pros and guys im tryin to impress (to get on their showcases) bombed fukking horribly. I didn't have anything prepared really and when the host put up the order and i was number 1 and i was like fukk then instead of trying to prepare material i ate a chicken quesadilla and then i went on stage and ate a dikk. I thought about going to another mic tonight and trying to redeem myself so i could feel like the night wasnt a total waste but then I didnt do it because im an idiot so now im just sittin in my apartment alone feelling like im the worst piece of shyt comedian in the entire world. im gonna go to the locker room and troll some guys to feel better about myself.

It's never a waste breh. You're fighting the good fight. I've heard comics say you don't know shyt until you've bombed 200 times. fukk it. Tomorrow is a new day and EVERY comedian bombs

 

[ugksam]

It's never a waste breh. You're fighting the good fight. I've heard comics say you don't know shyt until you've bombed 200 times. fukk it. Tomorrow is a new day and EVERY comedian bombs

A lot of things i need to work on were reinforced tonight.
1 need to prepare before i show up
2 dont immediately just go from talking/improv that is working to material that is a half formed barely written "joke" that I feel like might fill up some time
3 when things arent going well for me i have a tendency to get completely uncomfortable and i get an embarrassed demeanor and the audience can see that and it is generally an uncomfortable experience for everyone.

 

[True Blue Moon]

Open mic tonight went pretty good. Got a few laughs and exchanged contact info with another comic.

 

[NonPareil]

But that chicken quesadilla though?

 

[True Blue Moon]

Killed tonight. Going to enjoy the feeling for tonight, listen to the tape and do it again tomorrow. Let's get it.

 

[NonPareil]

Watching all these Cosby specials leading up to his new hour tonight greatness

 

[True Blue Moon]

Y'all need to check out the HBO documentary that Whoopi Goldberg produced about Moms Mabley. This lady was wildly brilliant and ahead of her time.

 

[ugksam]

i went up last night and did good

some crazy chick/comedy groupie/wanna be comedian recorded it so maybe ill have a video to upload if i can get it from her

 

[NonPareil]

Just a random question, but where do yall pull most your material from? Work, day to day life, crazy shyt that just runs through your head?

 

[The 2020 New Member]

Just a random question, but where do yall pull most your material from? Work, day to day life, crazy shyt that just runs through your head?

i drink and wander around a lot so it's mostly coming from there. i'm also a news junkie and had a kind of crazy childhood and those are big influences as far as what topics i talk about. i don't like to get too political but i try to keep it current and also my allusions are pretty nostalgiac (e .g. urkel, scooby doo)

 

[ugksam]

lmao, last night i was at an open mic at a shytty coffee house, tellin a joke about a how eating popsicles as a child prepared us for a possible post apocalyptic scenario in which we may have to give head to an ice monster in exchange for food, and some bytch in the back of the room and shouted "THAT JOKE ISNT FUNNY" and as she was storming out i said "oh i guess this lesbian isnt into jokes about ice dikks" or something like that, she was like half way out the door and came back in to yell "I MAY BE A LESBIAN BUT AT LEAST IVE NEVER MASTURBATED WITH AN ICE dikk" (which i didn't hear, had no idea she was actually a lesbian, someone told me this later) so i kept doing material about her being a lesbian and no one liked it and it made everyone uncomfortable. yep.

 

[The 2020 New Member]

lmao, last night i was at an open mic at a shytty coffee house, tellin a joke about a how eating popsicles as a child prepared us for a possible post apocalyptic scenario in which we may have to give head to an ice monster in exchange for food, and some bytch in the back of the room and shouted "THAT JOKE ISNT FUNNY" and as she was storming out i said "oh i guess this lesbian isnt into jokes about ice dikks" or something like that, she was like half way out the door and came back in to yell "I MAY BE A LESBIAN BUT AT LEAST IVE NEVER MASTURBATED WITH AN ICE dikk" (which i didn't hear, had no idea she was actually a lesbian, someone told me this later) so i kept doing material about her being a lesbian and no one liked it and it made everyone uncomfortable. yep.

fukking dykes. ice dikks are the best.

 

[ugksam]

i know right, i masturbate with ice dikks all the time, its great

really tho, i dont know if you guys have a large amount of lesbians in your city but they are some of the worst audience members, they drink too much, get offended more easily than a straight woman and they heckle. you guys got any good heckler stories? a couple days ago an open micer here threw a beer in the face of some drunk dikkhead who had been ruining everyone's sets.

 

[NonPareil]

i know right, i masturbate with ice dikks all the time, its great

really tho, i dont know if you guys have a large amount of lesbians in your city but they are some of the worst audience members, they drink too much, get offended more easily than a straight woman and they heckle. you guys got any good heckler stories? a couple days ago an open micer here threw a beer in the face of some drunk dikkhead who had been ruining everyone's sets.

Columbus is the nee gay capital. I offend someone new every show. And yes they are loud and mouthy

 

[True Blue Moon]

Just finished watching Sarah Silverman's new HBO special. I enjoyed it. Onto that new Bill Cosby.