Joe on these DV kind of topics are always a candidate for a nasty award even when he tries to make sense.
@ not wanting to ruin a dad's image of being their daughter's hero by not eventually being upfront about beating on her own mother...and while she was pregnant with the daughter, no less.
Joe and Ish will find any reason to avoid being perceived as a piece of shyt in any situation. If anything, you are perpetuating "the cycle" of not being honest and/or transparent by doing that.
As we all grow older, we learn more about our parents and how they are not/were not perfect people...that's normal. Does the child have to know every single detail about their parent's existence? Maybe not...but to be an adult and not know that my dad used to put hands on my mom, especially while pregnant with me, because my dad didn't want to ruin my image of him - is even more hurtful and deceitful IMO.
That situation pertains to me as the child, doesn't it? What's wrong with me knowing that, especially if you are an idol of mine and we're upfront with each other about everything else? If you go into it with a mature and empathetic approach, you can get the message to your daughter across successfully.
For all the knowledge Ish tries to kick all the time, he often sounds dense as hell when it comes to the man/woman/child dynamic. Joe is a lost cause, so nothing to dwell on there.