Essential The Official Football (Soccer) Thread - We are SO back, the Premier League returns!

[Scottie Drippin]

It's a very real thing.

The 'rape me' thing i mean.

A lot of girls love it, in my experience.

This lovely piece of stand up by Louis CK sums up my feelings on the matter

Louis CK - Rape - YouTube

Once met a chick who on the first night we ever met/hung out told me about her rape fantasy.

She also told me how a dude paid for her implants when she worked at hooters.

She also asked to use my laptop, checked her facebook for a second, then immediately went to xvideos and started giving r=g caliber breakdowns on a London Keys scene (she knew the males name and everything).

It was an office type scene, which lead to her telling the story of her job, where she goes in in the afternoon, fukks her boss, then leaves and he clocks her in/out.

She then talked about how she could spit a loogie and hit a dikk perfectly from a yard away.


I love me some whores, but this was a whole other creature. All these revelations came in a like a four hour time span. And we were sober.

 

[Gilver]

Not sure whether that would have really turned me on or off.


Possibly both, repeatedly, one after another.


I usually hate women blabbing on about their jobs(especially when it's just sex, fukk i wanna hear about your job for?) but i could make an exception if debauchery is involved


Did you HIT THAT, breh?


Unrelated...girl just phoned me, she's out drinking, on about will i pick her up when she texts me, about 12/1, and it wasn't said, but obviously to fukk etc.

Gave her the , bytch please.

I'm tired as fukk tbf

 

[Scottie Drippin]

Not sure whether that would have really turned me on or off.


Possibly both, repeatedly, one after another.


I usually hate women blabbing on about their jobs(especially when it's just sex, fukk i wanna hear about your job for?) but i could make an exception if debauchery is involved


Did you HIT THAT, breh?

Yes

Most creative fukk I've ever had. Not that any positions were particularly inventive, but she started reading some of my stories on my laptop and was like "I bet you could come up with a great erotic scene", so I laid out some exposition before the rising action.

She really liked the concept of haven been kidnapped and used as an object until her white collar husband paid a drug debt.

Unrelated...girl just phoned me, she's out drinking, on about will i pick her up when she texts me, about 12/1, and it wasn't said, but obviously to fukk etc.

Gave her the , bytch please.

I'm tired as fukk tbf

OFT keeps their bytch mob task forces in check.

 

[Gilver]

Yes






OFT keeps their bytch mob task forces in check.

fukk the noah m8, unless it's a positive noah.

Women with any sort of interesting personality trait whatsoever


Tbh on a normal day i would

But i'm up at 8 and i only had 4 hours sleep last night

 

[Scottie Drippin]

fukk the noah m8, unless it's a positive noah.

Women with any sort of interesting personality trait whatsoever


Tbh on a normal day i would

But i'm up at 8 and i only had 4 hours sleep last night

Thought I was one of the few like that. bytch could be of deplorable character, but if it's actually character?

I think it's because it takes a girl saying something shockingly interesting for me to actually put in the effort it takes to talk her into bed. Most times, something interesting = something appalling.

 

[Roaden Polynice]

Once met a chick who on the first night we ever met/hung out told me about her rape fantasy.

She also told me how a dude paid for her implants when she worked at hooters.

She also asked to use my laptop, checked her facebook for a second, then immediately went to xvideos and started giving r=g caliber breakdowns on a London Keys scene (she knew the males name and everything).

It was an office type scene, which lead to her telling the story of her job, where she goes in in the afternoon, fukks her boss, then leaves and he clocks her in/out.

She then talked about how she could spit a loogie and hit a dikk perfectly from a yard away.


I love me some whores, but this was a whole other creature. All these revelations came in a like a four hour time span. And we were sober.

Whores

Imagine you there, on the couch with a bona fide whore, standing on the threshold to the magical world of sensual delights that some men dare not dream of.

 

[mastermind]

Im thankful I never had a girl who had a rape fantasy. I think my immediate reaction would be

If something goes wrong, thats me behind them bars.

Once met a chick who on the first night we ever met/hung out told me about her rape fantasy.

She also told me how a dude paid for her implants when she worked at hooters.

She also asked to use my laptop, checked her facebook for a second, then immediately went to xvideos and started giving r=g caliber breakdowns on a London Keys scene (she knew the males name and everything).

It was an office type scene, which lead to her telling the story of her job, where she goes in in the afternoon, fukks her boss, then leaves and he clocks her in/out.

She then talked about how she could spit a loogie and hit a dikk perfectly from a yard away.


I love me some whores, but this was a whole other creature. All these revelations came in a like a four hour time span. And we were sober.

so you hit, right?

 

[Scottie Drippin]

Whores

Imagine you there, on the couch with a bona fide whore, standing on the threshold to the magical world of sensual delights that some men dare not dream of.

We were in the garage where there was some furniture waiting to be shipped to Jamaica. The entire time she was talking and lowering/endearing herself more and more in my eyes I was just thinking how much of a fukk I didn't care about the well being of those couches. Them white slores are something special. Even the eatiest of black eaters pretend to have some class. This girl might as well have hopped into my room shooting off confetti and blowing a dikk-shaped noise maker to the tune of one of that harlot Trina's songs.


On the subject though, girls who squirt should be legally bound to give a heads up. This mexican chick who managed to place me in more of a debacle in one night than a chick who was convinced I had impregnated her did in a month should've came with a sticker on her now that I'm reflecting on it nonexistant underwear that she was a threat to ruin any and all fabrics and linens.

 

[dennis roadman]

shoulda asked her to apply her tongue lashing skills to your butthole

gotta be good for something

 

[Mané Swagincha]

Horsey you ready to be a goon partna?!

Eh nois ou não porra?!

 

[dennis roadman]

Horsey you ready to be a goon partna?!

Eh nois ou não porra?!

Eh noisss cara

capangas

 

[Roaden Polynice]

How's it going bros with the mcdonald's

Really need that 4th railroad if we can. And I got a free frappe whatever the fukk that is.

 

[Roaden Polynice]

So Topaz was gay all along

Well, if you go that long without going for a woman I guess it makes sense. Or he's just trolling. Yeah, on the other hand I did always say Topaz was the most dedicated troll of all time. Dunno

 

[Gilver]

Thought I was one of the few like that. bytch could be of deplorable character, but if it's actually character?

I think it's because it takes a girl saying something shockingly interesting for me to actually put in the effort it takes to talk her into bed. Most times, something interesting = something appalling.

Naaaawwww.

I'd honestly rather fukk/hang with an average bytch with a good/interesting personality than a hot bytch with air between her ears.

 

[concise]

How's it going bros with the mcdonald's

Really need that 4th railroad if we can. And I got a free frappe whatever the fukk that is.

Had a 20 piece nuggets the other day, won a breakfast sandwich. We gonna share that, too?

Don't remember the other 3 pieces I got.

So Topaz was gay all along

Well, if you go that long without going for a woman I guess it makes sense. Or he's just trolling. Yeah, on the other hand I did always say Topaz was the most dedicated troll of all time. Dunno

A very dedicated troll. Saw the thread before I went to sleep, didn't look interesting. Let's see.