Essential The Official Football (Soccer) Thread - We are SO back, the Premier League returns!

dennis roadman

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:russ:
 

concise

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People really return negs? :laff: I don't get that. I just got a gray box and never would have known if it wasn't for the comment. Don't even remember the incident. Just let it be.
:laff:
 

Roaden Polynice

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Man those relationship threads in TLR are boorrring.

They all just turn into people arguing with Dachampishere I feel. Why people love to talk about relationships and love at length I'll never really get. Perhaps because the extent of my conversations with friends about broads has been, "Did you beat?"...divulge a bit about the girl. Move on cos beyond that I really don't give a fukk. :ehh:
 

frush11

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I'm a second generation OFT poster, so it's not my place to say certain things, but I miss the smallness of the thread when I first stumbled on SOHH/OFT.

The poster that came in towards the end of the SOHH era, are a bit not my speed(but i'm sure most of the originals felt the same about me, when I joined)

And I miss FFK
 

dennis roadman

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mastermind

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Gilver

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Carlisle named most promiscuous city in Europe as men claim they have 14 partners every year | Mail Online

Men in Carlisle are the most promiscuous in any city in Europe, according to an American-based dating website.

Of the men in the Cumbrian city who took part in the site’s 25,000-person survey, a remarkable 100 per cent claimed they had 14 or more different sexual partners annually - more than one a month.

Carlisle beat Prague in the Czech Republic and Vienna in Austria to the title of the EU’s most promiscuous city, with Mykonos in Greece trailing in fourth place.

We :eat: brehs.

You jelly?:steviej:
 

Gilver

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On a sex related note, i've been embroiled in intense discussions the past few days with several people about the fact that i have decided that, should the situation ever arrive where it could save my life, i would much rather fukk a dude in the arse than kiss him.

I mean there, i'll just say it. People be looking at me all funny when i say it(including 1 woman i'm putting in work to fukk last night, but idgaf, i gotta be upfront about these things:birdman:).

To me lying in a bed for example, kissing is a far more intimate thing than fukking a dude in the arse. That is just a sex act :manny:

Oh, also to further that point i said i would rather walk down the street and see 2 dudes going hard in the paint rather than walking down the street and seeing 2 dudes kissing.

Maybe i'm just part of a generation desensitized to these things by the masses of internet porn thrust upon us.

But i ain't even sweating it ya'llz, i'll stick by it, fukk anyone who disagrees, ol' kissy face fakkits:childplease:
 

Gilver

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Speaking of kissing lads i have a problem. Previously mentioned girl in the post above....

I really want to hit and have saw her in various situations 3 times, i mean the first 2 weren't sex appropriate(and 1 time i was with my 'girlfriend', but that's by the by :whoa:). But last night, when i went to her house, was. Now in the previous meetings we've shared some fleeting kisses, and brehs, lemme tell you, shyt is terrible:bryan:

Puts me right off my game, first time i leaned in, ready put my A+ kissing game on her, i mean i'm good, that ain't no lie. And BANG! Her tongue's away like that shyt's a wooden spoon mixing some cake mix, she's going HARD. I'm like damn:dwillhuh:

I mean her tongue is outside of her mouth, flailing around like i imagine my semi hard cock would in a wind machine. She doing circles like she got a quota.

I'm trying to slow her down but to no avail, she wants her satisfaction. Anyway i break it off quick and call it a night(and run back to my 'girlfriend', but that's by the by :whoa:).

So i'm like alright cool, i see her somewhere else, kind of a 'date' sitch, and she's at it again come the end of the night. I'm ready to break it off, i can't handle it. Until she invites me round last for last night, i'm like cool, maybe i can slow her down in an inside situation.

So we watching tv, reality stuff you know the sort women like, eventually i begin proceedings. Same thing :beli:, i mean i kind of stem the flow of this monstrous beast of a tongue, but it's still bad. Then i throw my hand in the air on some eureka shyt. Lemme get dem fingaz down there, we'll distract her in to submission, so i'm putting in work, first inside, but she seems unresponsive:manny:

So i switch to the clit...ah there we are:obama:

Big success, she turns her head in what i imagine is sheer ecstasy at my seasoned touch. Face on my shoulder type thing. I'm like bang, WE'VE GOT HER. Just as i'm about to celebrate, out comes the tongue again, and my previously rock hard phallus turns to sludge. This point i really feel like saying something like "ayo bytch, put that tongue away, my mouth aint no cement mixer, ol' 2 parts sand, 1 part cement ass bytch:childplease: "

But i make my excuses and go, it was late anyway.

Brehs i'm in a QUANDARY, because that p*ssy felt like something i really want to experience for realz for realz, so soft, so clean, so inviting:ahh:

What i be doin bout this sitch m8s? :ld:
 
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