I dont know if it's frowned upon but for my 17, I pull back the slide and pull up the slide lock, or you can keep an empty magazine in it and pull the slide back and it'll lock. Once the slide is locked remove the mag and pull it back a little further and release it while you continue to hold the tabs down it'll come forward then you pull the trigger and it's off. Or if you still have trouble pulling the slide back when it's locked, remove the magazine and then press the slide lock, it'll release the slide but remember it's a slide lock, not a slide release. Some people confused slide locks with slide releases and do things like file it down so it's easier to press and release the slide. That is not what it is intended for.
A basic cleaning kit comes with some brushes, some cloths, oil and cleaner.
You can easily but together your own kit a la carte. If you go to any sporting goods store or gun shop they have oil, cleaner and brushes. As far as cloths I use old white tee shirts.