The General Mills Chronicles.

[General Mills]

Yo General Is Like A Real Life Mahoney From Police Academy

My nikka Mahoney!

My Chief

 

[Mr. Jack Napier]

I'm dying brehs tears of laughter.

 

[beenz]

U can't get fired from the military for being a general fukk up can you? You would have to break the law or be insubordinate to be dishonorably discharged right?

 

[General Mills]

My Chief hears wind of these problems. Decides he can FINALLY get me. Of all of my fukk-ups. They usually fell back in my Chiefs lap. They were seen as him not supervising and teaching me well enough.

Or if it was a thing like the water in the hallways. He would rather it die quietly then admit that one of his team fukked up. So many times he would eat my L.

Well this Watch thing was serious. He knew he had me by the letter of the law. Meanwhile on my end I was stress free. I had already shipped my clothes and furniture back to Piffsburgh. Only thing I had on the ship was some work clothes.

Chief tells me he is sending me to Captains Mast.

In naval tradition, a mast is a non-judicial punishment ("NJP") disciplinary hearing under which a commanding officer studies and disposes of cases involving those in his command.

Basically the Captain is Judge Judy. You plead your case and then he give you punishment. Which is normally loss of pay, demotion in rank. . etc. . In extreme cases you will get sentenced to the brig and maybe kicked out with a dishonorable discharge.

Chief says.

Chief - General. I am sending you to Captains Mast

Me - Ahhh. Ok Chief.

Chief - And guess what my recommendation for punishment is.

Me -

Chief - Three days bread and water.

Me -

 

[General Mills]

U can't get fired from the military for being a general fukk up can you? You would have to break the law or be insubordinate to be dishonorably discharged right?

Exactly. I was never talking back or disobeying direct orders. I just fukked up stuff cause I was not mechanically inclined. No law against that.

 

[General Mills]

Bread and water is still on the books as a actual punishment. Rarely used. My Chief knew that demotion in rank or loss of pay would not hurt me. I was getting out in three days.

He hit me in the gut. Three days in the brig with only

My Chief could not contain his glee. ...... fakkit. Normally if a person is dead wrong the Captain will just go with the recommendation. I am standing outside the Captains office at attention. I am supposed to be wearing my dress uniform. I shipped all of my stuff back home! So I am wearing some dusty dungarees and a shirt with a oil stain on it. I creased the fukk out of it and shined my shoes tho.

Me and Chief go in. Of course he is looking sharp no homo. First thing the Captain does is go in on me about my uniform.

Captain - YOU COME IN HERE WITHOUT THE PROPER UNIFORM??

Me - ( meekly ) i am sorry captain. all of my uni's are on the way back home. im due to get out on tuesday.

Captain - What? (Looks at the paperwork. .. . ) Hold up. . Chief. . What is this?? Bread and Water? This guy is getting out in three days. . So you want his last experience in the Navy to be one where he is in jail eating bread and water???

Chief - Uh you see . . He is such a troublemaker. He has caused so much damage.. .and. .

 

[General Mills]

Cap - This is stupid. You are wasting my time. If this sailor was so bad. .Why has he never been to Mast before?

Chief -

Me - ( on the inside )

Cap - this is silly. Case dismissed. Stay out of trouble sailor.

Me - YES SIR!


Then my chief fukks up.

Chief - Hold on Captain. . This is not right. This guy deserves this because. . .

Cap - ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME HOW TO RUN THESE PROCEEDINGS CHIEF?? I GAVE MY RULING! I SEE NOTHING ON FILE FOR THIS SAILOR THAT WOULD WARRANT THREE DAYS BREAD AND WATER. IF YOU HAVE A PERSONAL PROBLEM WITH HIM I SUGGEST YOU USE SOME VAGISIL AND SLAP IT ON YOURSELF. DONT YOU EVER QUESTION MY JUDGEMENT AGAIN. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?

Chief -

Me -

 

[Nick Barnes]

at you stylin on your chief.

 

[Shugg84]

IF YOU HAVE A PERSONAL PROBLEM WITH HIM I SUGGEST YOU USE SOME VAGISIL AND SLAP IT ON YOURSELF.

 

[Mowgli]

Cap - This is stupid. You are wasting my time. If this sailor was so bad. .Why has he never been to Mast before?

Chief -

Me - ( on the inside )

Cap - this is silly. Case dismissed. Stay out of trouble sailor.

Me - YES SIR!


Then my chief fukks up.

Chief - Hold on Captain. . This is not right. This guy deserves this because. . .

Cap - ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME HOW TO RUN THESE PROCEEDINGS CHIEF?? I GAVE MY RULING! I SEE NOTHING ON FILE FOR THIS SAILOR THAT WOULD WARRANT THREE DAYS BREAD AND WATER. IF YOU HAVE A PERSONAL PROBLEM WITH HIM I SUGGEST YOU USE SOME VAGISIL AND SLAP IT ON YOURSELF. DONT YOU EVER QUESTION MY JUDGEMENT AGAIN. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?

Chief -

Me -

Having a real aggin for a boss is

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

on some real shyt general my nig


i swear to gawd i want to meet you brah *pause

this shyt needs to be published(im serious)

 

[Jutt]

at the Chief gettin ethered somethin serious


You my nikka

 

[MoneyTron]

I can't breathe.

 

[General Mills]

on some real shyt general my nig


i swear to gawd i want to meet you brah *pause

this shyt needs to be published(im serious)

Da Gawd Chauncer.

 

[General Mills]

at the Chief gettin ethered somethin serious


You my nikka

This one was a W for me! Those last three days I am walking around like I swear my Chief wanted to swing on me. He could not stand my ass.