The General Mills Chronicles.
- Thread starter General Mills
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General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
To this day... I have no idea why I was so nervous. ITS A BROTHEL!!! 
They want me to approach them to fukk. 
I order and down two more drinks. Now I am
I go up to Vanessa.
Me - Hey ma. Whats really good?
V - OHHH Papi. Can you buy me a drink too?
Me - I got you. (Orders two drinks) We both
drink up.
V - Lets go upstairs silly boy.
I look back at Hump and he gives me a thumbs up and turns to the bar to order a drink. We go upstairs. I pay the cashier 35 bucks. We go into the bedroom and its a bed in a room that is surrounded by glass!!! The ceiling, walls, everything!!
She yanks off my pants and starts sucking me off.... I am drunk in Puerto Rico getting sucked off by a phat ass V Williams!
I push her off the dikk and bend her over and jump inside. After two pumps I did the worst thing... I looked at myself in the mirrors........
I am trying to understand what happened.... But.. As I continued to stroke...I could not help but look at myself in the mirror... I looked so damn good. I looked so damn good to myself no homo that I busted on the 6th stroke.
fukkkkkkk.... I pull up my pants and stumble downstairs.. I walk up to Hump and he is turning back from the bar with his drink in his hand.. He is
Hump - Aye. You decided not to do it huh.
Me - What do you mean? I tore it up.
Hump - My nikka. As you were leaving I ordered a drink. You were back down here before I even took a sip of the drink???
Me - the mirrors fukked me up homie!! dont tell nobody.
Hump -
They want me to approach them to fukk. I order and down two more drinks. Now I am
I go up to Vanessa. Me - Hey ma. Whats really good?
V - OHHH Papi. Can you buy me a drink too?
Me - I got you. (Orders two drinks) We both
drink up.V - Lets go upstairs silly boy.
I look back at Hump and he gives me a thumbs up and turns to the bar to order a drink. We go upstairs. I pay the cashier 35 bucks. We go into the bedroom and its a bed in a room that is surrounded by glass!!! The ceiling, walls, everything!!
She yanks off my pants and starts sucking me off.... I am drunk in Puerto Rico getting sucked off by a phat ass V Williams!
I push her off the dikk and bend her over and jump inside. After two pumps I did the worst thing... I looked at myself in the mirrors........
I am trying to understand what happened.... But.. As I continued to stroke...I could not help but look at myself in the mirror... I looked so damn good. I looked so damn good to myself no homo that I busted on the 6th stroke.
fukkkkkkk.... I pull up my pants and stumble downstairs.. I walk up to Hump and he is turning back from the bar with his drink in his hand.. He is
Hump - Aye. You decided not to do it huh.
Me - What do you mean? I tore it up.
Hump - My nikka. As you were leaving I ordered a drink. You were back down here before I even took a sip of the drink???
Me - the mirrors fukked me up homie!! dont tell nobody.
Hump -
dennis roadman
nuclear war in my bag
god dammit @General Mills makin me buy more hash with each story
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Hump - Aye. You decided not to do it huh.
Me - What do you mean? I tore it up.
Hump - My nikka. As you were leaving I ordered a drink. You were back down here before I even took a sip of the drink???
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
Hump is dying! 
I am trying to hush this nikka but he was 
I have to redeem myself. I am not a drinker but I was going to get it in today. I threw down three more drinks while Hump is telling everyone the story.
I am so I stumble up to a beautiful Columbian chick. Tell her lets gooo. She is 
OK PAPII!!!!! 
We go upstairs ... I pay again.. I knock the dust off this time. I guess it was the liquor and loose p*ssy walls. I could not nut!
Finally after 30 minutes I hear management knocking on the door. Telling me that if I stay longer I have to pay another 35. I yelled out ok ok!!! And continued to dive bomb on this chick.
Finally I busted.....
Ol girl is looking at me like 
WOW PAPI! I am 
Now comes the time for extra payment. I dont have it........ I look in my pockets.. Empty.... In my drunken haze I did the only thing that made sense. I grabbed a trash bag from the garbage can and jumped off the second story balcony.
The plan was to float down like a GI-Joe paratrooper. It did not work out like I envisioned....
I am trying to hush this nikka but he was I have to redeem myself. I am not a drinker but I was going to get it in today. I threw down three more drinks while Hump is telling everyone the story. I am so
I stumble up to a beautiful Columbian chick. Tell her lets gooo. She is OK PAPII!!!!! We go upstairs ... I pay again.. I knock the dust off this time. I guess it was the liquor and loose p*ssy walls. I could not nut!
Finally after 30 minutes I hear management knocking on the door. Telling me that if I stay longer I have to pay another 35. I yelled out ok ok!!! And continued to dive bomb on this chick.Finally I busted.....
Ol girl is looking at me like WOW PAPI! I am Now comes the time for extra payment. I dont have it........ I look in my pockets.. Empty.... In my drunken haze I did the only thing that made sense. I grabbed a trash bag from the garbage can and jumped off the second story balcony.The plan was to float down like a GI-Joe paratrooper. It did not work out like I envisioned....
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Golayitdown
Veteran
Hump is dying!
I am so
We go upstairs ... I pay again.. I knock the dust off this time. I guess it was the liquor and loose p*ssy walls. I could not nut!
Finally I busted.....
The plan was to float down like a GI-Joe paratrooper. It did not work out like I envisioned....
My man threw himself in the bushes
malbaker86
Gators
lmao
livindajetlife
Superstar
Aw shyt lol
Hump is dying!
I am so
We go upstairs ... I pay again.. I knock the dust off this time. I guess it was the liquor and loose p*ssy walls. I could not nut!
Finally I busted.....
The plan was to float down like a GI-Joe paratrooper. It did not work out like I envisioned....
In tears man. Wtf at jumping out the window. Ron brown that shyt bro.
I bounced off the pavement hard as fukkkkk.The three high school kids were
I am wondering what the fukk hit me?? I look down and see
Up on the grassy knoll was the shooter. Mary. She wassmh. cotdammit... Meanwhile my girl comes running over...
Before she can say anything I yell.. LOOK AT MY fukkING WINDOW! HE DID THAT FOR NO REASON AND THEN HE LAUGHED IN MY FACE She was
Then
I spin aroundand he is ghost. I was done brehs. My ass was leaking. My hand was swollen as fukk. Window was murked. For what?? Some puss?? Nah B. I got in my whip and left.
This Muthafukka threw himself out the window like jason bourne
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
It was my first time truly drunk. Also my first time in a brothel fukking ho's. When I noticed I did not have extra cash I thought of the worst.. I am in a foreign country in a whore house. They are going to whip my ass and probably kill me....
In retrospect all I had to do was ask Hump, Pretty Boy, or any of the other 25 sailors on my ship for cash. I was in a haze and I snatched the trash bag out of the can and jumped
out the window without a single fukk being given. Like I said I thought the trash bag would inflate with air.. I would enjoy a leisurely ride down to earth.
When I landed I would then figure out my next course of action. Well... After grabbing the trash bag ol girl looked at me like
I remember grinning at her like Parker Lewis.
How could I lose? I jumped out that bytch!
While in the air I spread my arms out wide so the trash bag could fill up with air and I could float away from here. As i am flapping my arms trying to get this damn bag to catch a breeze I hit the ground....
fukkKKKKKKKK!!
ALL THE WIND GETS KNOCKED OUT OF ME. I did not even brace myself for the fall. Hell I was so busy looking up at the bag that I did not even see the ground. Damn lucky I did not break every bone in my body.
I landed in what appeared to be a mud patch.. As I am crawling around moaning trying catch my breath... I take a wiff......It is like I am crawling around in a fukking sewer!! All I smell is shyt and piss....
Golayitdown
Veteran
In retrospect all I had to do was ask Hump, Pretty Boy, or any of the other 25 sailors on my ship for cash. I was in a haze and I snatched the trash bag out of the can and jumped
Like I said I thought the trash bag would inflate with air.. I would enjoy a leisurely ride down to earth.
When I landed I would then figure out my next course of action. Well... After grabbing the trash bag ol girl looked at me like
How could I lose? I jumped out that bytch!
While in the air I spread my arms out wide so the trash bag could fill up with air and I could float away from here. As i am flapping my arms trying to get this damn bag to catch a breeze I hit the ground....
fukkKKKKKKKK!!
ALL THE WIND GETS KNOCKED OUT OF ME. I did not even brace myself for the fall. Hell I was so busy looking up at the bag that I did not even see the ground. Damn lucky I did not break every bone in my body.
I landed in what appeared to be a mud patch.. As I am crawling around moaning trying catch my breath... I take a wiff......It is like I am crawling around in a fukking sewer!! All I smell is shyt and piss....
In TEARS
DallasTxRep
Superstar
Aww hell
