MenacingMonk
Tranquilo
Got ya.
I tend to have some comedy thrown in every few new lines of dialogue, but of course the saying goes it may be funny to me but not to someone else.
Ima write again later so I'll go over my previous stuff.
The Coli's Screenwriting/Filmmaking Thread [Share tips, etc]
- Thread starter CEITEDMOFO
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I tend to have some comedy thrown in every few new lines of dialogue, but of course the saying goes it may be funny to me but not to someone else.
Ima write again later so I'll go over my previous stuff.
steadyrighteous
Veteran
Got ya.
I tend to have some comedy thrown in every few new lines of dialogue, but of course the saying goes it may be funny to me but not to someone else.
Ima write again later so I'll go over my previous stuff.
I should do some writing today too, but I'm lazy lol
I know the struggle of trying to rewrite though, but I'm learning to be less sensitive about my shyt.
In one of my last meet-ups with a friend with experience who gives me notes, I sat next to him as he showed me how certain people/departments go through scripts.
I had a chunk of action which was pretty important, but in earlier drafts I didn't break it up with dialogue enough. Homie just said "This is how people might go through your script" and he put a big X with a Sharpie through that entire block.
I was
Went home and re-wrote, trimmed fat, and broke up the action, and now if you see the old version and the new version side by side, the new version is MILES better.
At this point, I cringe when I even look at the first draft of my script. I thought it was pretty good at the time and now it's pretty much trash
MenacingMonk
Tranquilo
Honestly, my shyt reminds me of Clerks type dialogue. Not saying it's on that level, but how it's laid out. You have these cats talking about shyt with not much action thrown in.
It's just that I need to add little things, even if it doesn't involve the main characters. It's not an achilles heel for me, but I do tend to get heavy into dialogue when I'm writing.
It's just that I need to add little things, even if it doesn't involve the main characters. It's not an achilles heel for me, but I do tend to get heavy into dialogue when I'm writing.
steadyrighteous
Veteran
I feel you, but you have to learn to pick your spots (which is what I'm learning to do)
I was doing a lot of that Clerks style dialogue back and forth stuff until I got a note that went something like this - "Are we just going to cut back and forth between these guys talking for five minutes or do you have a point to make?"
Also, as for sprinkling in action in between; the dialogue isn't the only thing that should lead somewhere. I'll watch people talk about something I don't know about for 9 minutes if at the end of it they've built a model rocket or something (bad example), but if it's just talk talk talk JOHN GRABS A BEER talk talk talk HE THROWS THE CAP AWAY talk talk talk.
There's a reason why there aren't a ton of Clerks type movies and shows. Only 10% of that stuff is good, and the bad versions of it are really bad. It often just gives nerds who Stan a particular subject a reason to spout their theories on screen.
EDIT: Man a lot of that above shyt applies to me lol. I had a 2.5 page dialogue back and forth I loved that I had to completely take out because it didn't matter to my overall story and I coulda used that space elsewhere.
BelowTheMasonDixon
Veteran
Udemy has/had a $10 course. The internet is your friend too bro.
BelowTheMasonDixon
Veteran
Also screen writing by Syd Field. Is the definitive book on the subject(I've purchased better imo) but industry people swear by it.
Simplyscripts.com
Think of good movies or movies you like, and read the script for them. I've found that's the easiest way to learn.
BelowTheMasonDixon
Veteran
A seedy hotel room. In the darkness we are able to see that there is more than one individual in the bed.
A ringing phone is quickly answered as one of the patrons has stirred from their slumber and places the phone to his ear.
VOICE ON THE PHONE
I assume every thing is going well?
A figure emerges from under the covers. A man of gigantic stature. Wiping his eyes, he clearly isn't in the mood to talk.
VOICE ON THE PHONE
Did you enjoy yourself?
THE SENTINEL
Yes.
VOICE ON THE PHONE
Good, fantastic. As this is your first time using our services your fee has been waved. But of course, continued usage will cost. And as you no doubt know I trade in favors, as you know money is of no use to me.
THE SENTINEL
Understood.
VOICE ON THE PHONE
Good. Well enough talk. FUN! FUN! FUN! I always say. A pleasure doing business with someone as, esteemed as yourself.
THE SENTINEL
If you tell anyone...
VOICE ON THE PHONE
Not to worry, My lips are sealed. However threats will not be tolerated in any form or fashion. Besides, there are worst vices one can be involved with. Goodnight sir.
CLICK! THE SENTINEL places the phone silently back on the receiver, hoping not to awaken his guest.
A ringing phone is quickly answered as one of the patrons has stirred from their slumber and places the phone to his ear.
VOICE ON THE PHONE
I assume every thing is going well?
A figure emerges from under the covers. A man of gigantic stature. Wiping his eyes, he clearly isn't in the mood to talk.
VOICE ON THE PHONE
Did you enjoy yourself?
THE SENTINEL
Yes.
VOICE ON THE PHONE
Good, fantastic. As this is your first time using our services your fee has been waved. But of course, continued usage will cost. And as you no doubt know I trade in favors, as you know money is of no use to me.
THE SENTINEL
Understood.
VOICE ON THE PHONE
Good. Well enough talk. FUN! FUN! FUN! I always say. A pleasure doing business with someone as, esteemed as yourself.
THE SENTINEL
If you tell anyone...
VOICE ON THE PHONE
Not to worry, My lips are sealed. However threats will not be tolerated in any form or fashion. Besides, there are worst vices one can be involved with. Goodnight sir.
CLICK! THE SENTINEL places the phone silently back on the receiver, hoping not to awaken his guest.
BelowTheMasonDixon
Veteran
READ READ READ Scripts. IMSDB has a lot. lol look on and weep as average films have amazing movie scripts. "Slither" is actually one of my fav scripts.
Brandeezy
Superstar
@BelowTheMasonDixon I signed up for Udemy course and i'm currently reading some scripts from movies i enjoyed. I plan on writing some short films for starters then grow from there. I want to enter an "idea" contest soon, but the deadline isn't until the end of next month
BelowTheMasonDixon
Veteran
DO IT BREH! do that shyt! make it happen don't talk do it. cause otherwise you just fronting like everyone else on here and letting your talent go to waste.
MenacingMonk
Tranquilo
Hey guys, so my friend is shooting some scenes based on Logan/Wolverine and he asked me to write some stuff for him. I finished my first one today and would appreciate feedback on it. Problem is I'm using Celtx. Can I convert it to PDF for free? I'm writing offline and when I plan on upping it online I wanted to know.
Also, if that works out fine, where can I upload it so you guys can read it? Do I use a file sharing site?
I really want you guys to give me feedback on everything; style of writing, scene dialogue too long, grammar, wording, etc.
It's only 5 pages without the proper script editing. I say that because I'm not sure the script is properly fixed when converted. For example I have the name of a character at the end of the page and the dialogue starts on the new page. Or the action scene continues on the next page.
Also, if that works out fine, where can I upload it so you guys can read it? Do I use a file sharing site?
I really want you guys to give me feedback on everything; style of writing, scene dialogue too long, grammar, wording, etc.
It's only 5 pages without the proper script editing. I say that because I'm not sure the script is properly fixed when converted. For example I have the name of a character at the end of the page and the dialogue starts on the new page. Or the action scene continues on the next page.
Killigraphy
Banned
Best tip for writing a script. Always work from the ending. Don't mindlessly waltz into beginning and middle, only to wonder to yourself "How should it end?" Writing an ending first is both grounding and provides you will an ultimate finish line. This curbs you from running amok into territories wherein sequels lie.
-Write up your "bible" first. I.e. laws and rules of said characters and world. This way you don't run circles into your logic and jump the shark. Definitives are key. As we learned from George Martin, he forgot to follow his bible and regretted some decisions.
-Write what you know, even if its fiction. Research, research, research. It goes a long way, even if its in the land of dragons and fairies.
- A protagonist needs an antagonist....this should be obvious, but you'd be surprised how many books I've read wherein its just one big jerk off session.
-If you're writing more of a screenplay, you need action beats. Every 10 pages, there should be something eventful happening. Whether it be small or big, something has to go "boom".
-Typo's are fine, get over yourself.
-Not everyone is the "cool" guy. You have to write from the perspective of every character in your book. You have to understand how they think, what they would say, and you can't be afraid to put it down. Not everyone or every thing, is meant to sound like the Fonz.
-If you introduce humor, humor has to be reoccurring. Whether it be snarky or slapstick, the minute you write it in, you have to remember to keep it constant.
-Using multi syllable words are nice, but don't go overboard, your job isn't to assault the reader with your knowledge of words. Instead talk to, not at.
-You're gonna hate one of your characters...that's who you should most try to expand on. Characters like Reek in GoT or Marla in Fight Club, are completely unlikeable, yet endearing when you get to know them, their reasons, and their struggles.
-Always think of the location and time before anything. You're entering a scene, not already in it. It's important to keep that in mind.
-Write up your "bible" first. I.e. laws and rules of said characters and world. This way you don't run circles into your logic and jump the shark. Definitives are key. As we learned from George Martin, he forgot to follow his bible and regretted some decisions.
-Write what you know, even if its fiction. Research, research, research. It goes a long way, even if its in the land of dragons and fairies.
- A protagonist needs an antagonist....this should be obvious, but you'd be surprised how many books I've read wherein its just one big jerk off session.
-If you're writing more of a screenplay, you need action beats. Every 10 pages, there should be something eventful happening. Whether it be small or big, something has to go "boom".
-Typo's are fine, get over yourself.
-Not everyone is the "cool" guy. You have to write from the perspective of every character in your book. You have to understand how they think, what they would say, and you can't be afraid to put it down. Not everyone or every thing, is meant to sound like the Fonz.
-If you introduce humor, humor has to be reoccurring. Whether it be snarky or slapstick, the minute you write it in, you have to remember to keep it constant.
-Using multi syllable words are nice, but don't go overboard, your job isn't to assault the reader with your knowledge of words. Instead talk to, not at.
-You're gonna hate one of your characters...that's who you should most try to expand on. Characters like Reek in GoT or Marla in Fight Club, are completely unlikeable, yet endearing when you get to know them, their reasons, and their struggles.
-Always think of the location and time before anything. You're entering a scene, not already in it. It's important to keep that in mind.
MenacingMonk
Tranquilo
All right, I have the PDF file. Glad to see it's laid out properly. Turned out to be 7 pages. Do I use a file sharing site to upload it so you guys can read it?
I'd appreciate it if someone can check it out and give me feedback. Would be the first time I get notes from script writers.
I'd appreciate it if someone can check it out and give me feedback. Would be the first time I get notes from script writers.