I replied to your thread breh
The Coli's Screenwriting/Filmmaking Thread [Share tips, etc]
- Thread starter CEITEDMOFO
- Start date
I replied to your thread breh
steadyrighteous
Veteran
Read a couple of scripts - just pick a show or two that you like and you're incredibly familiar with, and Google the show + pilot script and read them.
As far as writing a script and only writing what the audience sees and hears, I don't think that's 100% true. Of course, you can't/shouldn't OD on thoughts, feelings etc., but when you're writing a script, it's your chance to translate that paragraph of thoughts and feelings into two lines of character action.
Instead of describing what the character is thinking, describe (succinctly) what those feelings are making the character do physically.
A character might have just heard his wife died: in your novel you'd describe every thought racing through his head as he sits at the dining table, but in a script, you can describe the way he sits in the seat, his posture, his face. If you do those well enough, the reader will get the idea.
Hope that helps.
I actually saved this list for future characters i want to do nice..
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2314504/House-of-E here's some of my old writings of stories that i've been working on and have changed over the last few years feedback would be nice
John August (writer of Go) on the creative process
In what sense?? Best way to further dialogue is keep writing. The more you write, the better you become at masking exposition, punching up lifeless lines, trimming the fat, etc. You can make lines stand out more by taking away the literal message or "point" the character is getting across (whether intentionally or subconsciously) by SHOWING, not TELLING.
SHOWING:
Brother: I don't want to go to dads
Sister: Why??
Brother: I just-- I just can't. Not again. Not anymore.
(sister studies her brother, knowing there's something evil lurking between their relationship)
rather TELLING:
Brother: I don't want to go to dads
Sister: Why??
Brother: He touches me at night
shytty example, but an example none-the-less.
Another great way to further dialogue is READING OUT LOUD. <<< Can make a huge difference in how you THINK a conversation would play out and how it DOES play out.
EDIT: Aww shyt. when I clicked on the thread, your post was the newest post it was showing me. I hadn't realized how old it was. My bad.
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also...
fukk Celtx, guys. And fukk final draft...
you guys haaaave to make the switch to WriterDuet.
http://writerduet.com
Free version is better than Celtx, and the paid version is cheaper and better than anything else on the market IMO.
You can work on and offline, on any computer, device, it has every feature found in every other program and it's SO. damn. SMOOTH.
The creator is in it for all the right reasons. If you hit him up, tell him you're a starving student, he'll be happy to give you a discount on the paid version.
EDIT:
Here's a more thorough break down on the program:
http://nofilmschool.com/2014/09/wri...tive-screenwriting-app-available-offline-much
fukk Celtx, guys. And fukk final draft...
you guys haaaave to make the switch to WriterDuet.
http://writerduet.com
Free version is better than Celtx, and the paid version is cheaper and better than anything else on the market IMO.
You can work on and offline, on any computer, device, it has every feature found in every other program and it's SO. damn. SMOOTH.
The creator is in it for all the right reasons. If you hit him up, tell him you're a starving student, he'll be happy to give you a discount on the paid version.
EDIT:
Here's a more thorough break down on the program:
http://nofilmschool.com/2014/09/wri...tive-screenwriting-app-available-offline-much
MenacingMonk
Tranquilo
Hey guys, I have a question for heading outside shots that take places inside cars. Do you just label it like:
INT. CAR - MORNING
or
INT/EXT CAR - MORNING
INT. CAR - MORNING
or
INT/EXT CAR - MORNING
TheGodling
Los Ingobernables de Sala de Cine
Depends on the scene. Keep direction as minimal as possible, so if what happens on the outside of the car matters, you use EXT., if the focus is the dialogue inside the car, use (or switch to) INT. In the end it's up to the director to decide how to shoot it (film the actors inside the car talking from outside the car, have the camera in the car with them, have the camera in the car filming them approach it on the outside, etc.).
i stopped caring about shyt like that. my current script spends a lot of time in a car, just transitionally. it's essentially a low scale road trip movie. But it's during the holidays, so say i write a few "we're stuck in a car and hate each other" lines then want to focus on a christmas tree outside. obviously terrible writing to follow:
INT. CAR - DAY
They stare forward uncomfortably.
Character 1 - fukk your face
Character 2 - fukk your shytty dialogue and writing
Character 1 looks out the window to see the TOWN CHRISTMAS TREE in all it's glory, etc.
The same doofus who will read your script* will want you to keep it as short as possible, but will also probably say this - "You need an exterior slugline before the town christmas tree, or else it still seems like it's in the car." No it fukkin won't! that just adds unnecessary length to a script, of course the tree isn't in the damn car.
Terrible example and * im probably just referring to the morons in the online screenwriting/reading community who think they know a ton and want to pinpoint every flaw to make themselves feel like better writers (Yo!), but it's structural things like that that technically might be correct, but only serve a purpose to make the scene longer for no reason.
as Godling said, get in and get out. keep shyt like that as short as humanly possible while still progressing. I'm stressing a bit about my transition scenes in the car b/c the story boils down to the relationship of these 2 people. i need exposition in the dialogue during those scenes, but i cant have 2 out of every 10 pages of people driving and talking in a car. ya know? trying to throw the comedic situations in with that necessary dialogue.
im sure you were talking more about action happening outside the car, like a chase or something. I've never really written a car chase (I'm writing the world's slowest car chase in this script - exciting right?!) but I'd probably throw a nice Intercut towards the beginning and only go back to INT or EXT if you spend an extended amount of time on on either one. Like say the trailing car gets seperated and goes down a back alley and has to go through all the cliche obsticles like 2 guys inexplicably walking a glass window across the street, or the ever so popular watermelon cart. Give that action a EXT. then when you go back to the other car thinking they lost em, give that an INT... but from that point when the chase continues, I'd just go back to the Intercut.
I still honestly don't know the "proper" way to write an intercut b/c ive seen like 5 different ways of doing it. Some scripts just start a scene outside, then add the INT portion and say "INTERACT ACTION WHEN NECESSARY" which seems like the worst way to do it, but I've seen pro scripts with it and i like that. You can do the ol' INT./EXT. - CAR - DAY/NIGHT/CONTINUOUS. Or just the INTERCUT - TED'S CAR AND THE GAY DOCTOR'S VAN. Same goes for things like phone calls. just intercut em. "im sorry but there isn't a slugline for Jenny's bedroom here, is she in the room with Karen?" No fukko, it's well established they are talking on a phone, stfu and just read. ... sorry for ranting again.
that's my (probably wrong) advice
INT. CAR - DAY
They stare forward uncomfortably.
Character 1 - fukk your face
Character 2 - fukk your shytty dialogue and writing
Character 1 looks out the window to see the TOWN CHRISTMAS TREE in all it's glory, etc.
The same doofus who will read your script* will want you to keep it as short as possible, but will also probably say this - "You need an exterior slugline before the town christmas tree, or else it still seems like it's in the car." No it fukkin won't! that just adds unnecessary length to a script, of course the tree isn't in the damn car.
Terrible example and * im probably just referring to the morons in the online screenwriting/reading community who think they know a ton and want to pinpoint every flaw to make themselves feel like better writers (Yo!), but it's structural things like that that technically might be correct, but only serve a purpose to make the scene longer for no reason.
as Godling said, get in and get out. keep shyt like that as short as humanly possible while still progressing. I'm stressing a bit about my transition scenes in the car b/c the story boils down to the relationship of these 2 people. i need exposition in the dialogue during those scenes, but i cant have 2 out of every 10 pages of people driving and talking in a car. ya know? trying to throw the comedic situations in with that necessary dialogue.
im sure you were talking more about action happening outside the car, like a chase or something. I've never really written a car chase (I'm writing the world's slowest car chase in this script - exciting right?!) but I'd probably throw a nice Intercut towards the beginning and only go back to INT or EXT if you spend an extended amount of time on on either one. Like say the trailing car gets seperated and goes down a back alley and has to go through all the cliche obsticles like 2 guys inexplicably walking a glass window across the street, or the ever so popular watermelon cart. Give that action a EXT. then when you go back to the other car thinking they lost em, give that an INT... but from that point when the chase continues, I'd just go back to the Intercut.
I still honestly don't know the "proper" way to write an intercut b/c ive seen like 5 different ways of doing it. Some scripts just start a scene outside, then add the INT portion and say "INTERACT ACTION WHEN NECESSARY" which seems like the worst way to do it, but I've seen pro scripts with it and i like that. You can do the ol' INT./EXT. - CAR - DAY/NIGHT/CONTINUOUS. Or just the INTERCUT - TED'S CAR AND THE GAY DOCTOR'S VAN. Same goes for things like phone calls. just intercut em. "im sorry but there isn't a slugline for Jenny's bedroom here, is she in the room with Karen?" No fukko, it's well established they are talking on a phone, stfu and just read. ... sorry for ranting again.
that's my (probably wrong) advice
oh and also, stick to DAY AND NIGHT. that's another thing people love to point out. everyone wants to tell you "mehh, if you set a scene at dusk you only have limited daylight and time to get the shot" like your script is going straight to production with no re-writing or anything... just eliminating a nitpick before you get it
steadyrighteous
Veteran
@Conz
I think the main problem with all of this is, as much as people (from amateur to professional) will tell you there's a standard "format" for scripts, there really isn't one. People tend to have a format in their head that comes from the first things they read, so if yours doesn't match exactly, they tell you shyt like "that's now how it's done", "I can't tell if we're watching the phone convo from one side, or if it's intercut"
You can read two professional scripts that both tackle the same problem differently.
The real truth is, as long as it's clear, it's fine.
When people read my shyt, I tend to ask them basic questions to clarify if my "direction" was clear.
"Yo, when John was talking to Sally on the phone, did you get that we were cutting back and forth?" or "When you were watching the scene of Sally at the party, did you get that it was silent and you what you hear is John talking to the priest about her?"
If they get confused, I know I've got to go back and make it clearer.
I think the main problem with all of this is, as much as people (from amateur to professional) will tell you there's a standard "format" for scripts, there really isn't one. People tend to have a format in their head that comes from the first things they read, so if yours doesn't match exactly, they tell you shyt like "that's now how it's done", "I can't tell if we're watching the phone convo from one side, or if it's intercut"
You can read two professional scripts that both tackle the same problem differently.
The real truth is, as long as it's clear, it's fine.
When people read my shyt, I tend to ask them basic questions to clarify if my "direction" was clear.
"Yo, when John was talking to Sally on the phone, did you get that we were cutting back and forth?" or "When you were watching the scene of Sally at the party, did you get that it was silent and you what you hear is John talking to the priest about her?"
If they get confused, I know I've got to go back and make it clearer.
