The Coli's Screenwriting/Filmmaking Thread [Share tips, etc]

[Goat poster]

They only raised $600

I'm gonna donate though

Crowd funding is a very tricky business...even with thousands of viewers.

It's almost as if you need a budget to get a budget if you know what I mean.

 

[RAX 010]

Subs

 

[ghostwriterx]

Trailer for a webseries I created.


Ep 1 comes out on Tuesday July 15th

Let me know your thoughts.

First EP is up

 

[StraxStrax]

 

[steadyrighteous]

First EP is up

Just watched the ep.

It's cool, I like the premise a lot, but I think Jada I think it is (the black girl) is too caught up in race herself ("Black people don't take the stairs...", "That's how slavery started..." etc.)

I think it might have been an idea to toy with if she was more of the "straight man/woman" and everyone else around her is non-PC (as they are) and slowly as the series develops, she becomes less and less PC and devolves to their level.

Just a thought, but good shyt, man.

 

[ghostwriterx]

Just watched the ep.

It's cool, I like the premise a lot, but I think Jada I think it is (the black girl) is too caught up in race herself ("Black people don't take the stairs...", "That's how slavery started..." etc.)

I think it might have been an idea to toy with if she was more of the "straight man/woman" and everyone else around her is non-PC (as they are) and slowly as the series develops, she becomes less and less PC and devolves to their level.

Just a thought, but good shyt, man.

Thanks for watching and thanks for the feedback. I think you may be right, I discussed with the co-creator, Jada may be talking about race too much in that one. Early draft didn't have all those race jokes in it. I felt like I needed to hit people over the head with the race stuff in the first ep to set the tone for the series. I think we did a better job in later episodes turning that down a bit.

 

[True Blue Moon]

Don't know if this inappropriate but how much do you make a month doing those side jobs

It's full time for me now. When I do what I'm supposed to I make $1500 per week.

 

[↓R↑LYB]

It's full time for me now. When I do what I'm supposed to I make $1500 per week.

Is that before or after taxes ?

Also do they have any writing certs ?

 

[True Blue Moon]

Is that before or after taxes ?

Also do they have any writing certs ?

Before. I like to take out 30% to be on the safe side. It can get tedious but I work like crazy.

Check out my current main source:

Spoiler

www.writersdomain.net

 

[steadyrighteous]

Thanks for watching and thanks for the feedback. I think you may be right, I discussed with the co-creator, Jada may be talking about race too much in that one. Early draft didn't have all those race jokes in it. I felt like I needed to hit people over the head with the race stuff in the first ep to set the tone for the series. I think we did a better job in later episodes turning that down a bit.

I don't even think there are too many race jokes, it's just hard to tell who, if anyone, is the "voice of reason", which is why I singled out Jada. If she's the one who's been roped into working at Colored People, it'd make sense if at least in the beginning, she'd like "Y'all talk about race way too much" and slowly she just becomes one of them so when she makes a "Black people don't take the stairs" joke, the other dude can look back at her and be like "Now you're getting into the swing of things" or "Now you're one of us" type shyt.

I'm probably thinking too traditionally though, if they're all talk first think later that may be funnier going forward.

Either way, I'mma keep watching. Keep posting 'em.

Before. I like to take out 30% to be on the safe side. It can get tedious but I work like crazy.

Check out my current main source:

Spoiler

www.writersdomain.net

As a freelance Write rmyself, 'preciate the link

 

[StraxStrax]

First EP is up

Nice work, really nice.

I think the colors are off, too muted and inconsistent. The set design is a little boring but you make it work. The timing on "same difference" is off.

Writers thoughts

In the elevator she says that the repair dude (or whoever) is on his way. Surely the guys in the elevator know that, they hear everything she hears?
Why do the people in the stairs walk down the entire stairs and not just down a floor or up a floor and use the elevator there?

Also I saw the boom mic reflect and it's shadow in the elevator

Spoiler

Just messing with you, it's a tight space and shyt like that happens

The best scene is the last before the credits, when Dan stops the dude in red. The timing on everything, acting and camera is fantastic. He seems by far the best actor.

 

[ghostwriterx]

Nice work, really nice.

I think the colors are off, too muted and inconsistent. The set design is a little boring but you make it work. The timing on "same difference" is off.

Yeah, its pretty washed out. Another episode is even worse, going to cost $300 to get it color corrected and that's a hookup so we decided to just fix the one that was really bad, was hoping most people wouldn't notice on this one.

Writers thoughts

In the elevator she says that the repair dude (or whoever) is on his way. Surely the guys in the elevator know that, they hear everything she hears?

Good catch, originally it was written so that there was an actual emergency phone in the elevator, but the elevator we were able to use didn't have one. Should have rewrote that part.

Why do the people in the stairs walk down the entire stairs and not just down a floor or up a floor and use the elevator there?

In a lot of office buildings the staircases are locked. You can't open doors from inside the stairwell above the first floor. We could have made that clear though.

Also I saw the boom mic reflect and it's shadow in the elevator

Spoiler

Just messing with you, it's a tight space and shyt like that happens

Yeah, noticed that while editing

The best scene is the last before the credits, when Dan stops the dude in red. The timing on everything, acting and camera is fantastic. He seems by far the best actor.

Yeah I think Evan is the most experienced.

Thanks for watching, good feeback.

 

[StraxStrax]

@ghostwriterx

Why not send emails to film schools close by and ask if some students are interested in color correcting and let them take a stap at it. The worst that can happen is the students say no and that's not gonna cost you a cent.

 

[steadyrighteous]

Thought I'd put this here since only a couple of us check this thread out really....

I might... might have the opportunity to pitch something to a major cable network in the coming months. I don't know if it'll work out and I'm literally not telling anyone at the crib, but I thought I'd post it here to get it off my chest a little.

When I know more I'll share (good or bad)

Finger crossed for ya boy

 

[ghostwriterx]

Thought I'd put this here since only a couple of us check this thread out really....

I might... might have the opportunity to pitch something to a major cable network in the coming months. I don't know if it'll work out and I'm literally not telling anyone at the crib, but I thought I'd post it here to get it off my chest a little.

When I know more I'll share (good or bad)

Finger crossed for ya boy

Perfect your pitch, get it to its simplest form, try it out on strangers. good luck!