Sometimes I feel like I'll never have sex again...

[*L*E*G*A*C*Y*]

Yo...after reading some of the responses in this thread, I have to SMH at some of your mentalities and it's kind of embarassing for a man my age to read. To think that once upon a time i had your mentality but going through these responses I have to just say...some of y'all are disrespectful as hell to women and I'm surprised they even give you the time of day. I think most of y'all are just looking for cheap sex and nothing else.
I'm looking for a fruitful relationship, I'm looking for a woman who enjoys me for me (and not my money and what it can do for her), I'm looking for someone I can share my life with, I'm looking for someone I can share my favorite movies with, I'm looking for a woman that likes cool music (cause I like cool music), I'm looking for a woman that can help me make me a better man and individual and is willing to judge me for my faults to improve upon them.

I grew up in a family of majority of women so maybe this is where my stance comes from. Y'all are really up in this thread where I'm trying to wax poetic and express my thoughts with supposedly insightful responses where you call women "b1tches" and "hoes". I'm almost 30 so that young boy mentality don't do a goddamn thing for me other than wonder where the hell you developed any sense of morality or decency towards the opposite sex to even have them gravitate towards you.

This is why I could care less about having a one night stand at the bar...this is why I could care less about going on okcupid (which I find weird)...this is why I'll never go on backpage just to find some woman and reduce her to "a nut" and that's it. My standards have changed, my outlook on life has changed...what benefit would it come to me to inherit your style of thinking and way of doing things when it's obviously that you deal with women and people that I don't deal with on a regular basis.

And to top it off...you automatically assume you know me judging from over 4,000 posts and some pictures. Getting your reaction gifs ready and trying to come up with some jokes that your cronies will dap and rep you up for.

Please don't take this the wrong way...but some of you embarass me.

 

[#1 pick]

You trip too much my friend, sex should never be a priority but you are putting far too much interest in not getting it either. You should be interested in dating women and not overdoing it like a college kid but dating and looking for a potential marriage.

 

[Steve Piffler]

I'm not afraid of p*ssy...I'm just too lazy to talk to women and I don't try.

I'd rather have them talk to me instead of going out of my to initiate a conversation (even though that's not how it works in this world...)

that's where you fail. these bytches aint gonna talk to you man! they want and NEED you to stroll in and take charge. tell them how much they need you and how bad they will hate themselves if they pass up the opportunity that you are presenting for them to get to know you better. AND you brought dikk too...word to Katt Williams .

 

[*L*E*G*A*C*Y*]

Dude, I don't even know what to say to you. I came in here to clown on you but now I legit want to help you. But you're 29, unfortunately I think it might be too late to change your mindset. I hope life works out in the best for you, I truly do, but I can tell why women find you unattractive just from reading the O/P and it has NOTHING to do with your looks

Keep in mind you will only ever know me from internet posts on the Coli and never in real life. It seems a lot of you do like to do this as a dismissive exercise.

Take care and have a nice day.

 

[#1 pick]

Dude, I don't even know what to say to you. I came in here to clown on you but now I legit want to help you. But you're 29, unfortunately I think it might be too late to change your mindset. I hope life works out in the best for you, I truly do, but I can tell why women find you unattractive just from reading the O/P and it has NOTHING to do with your looks

OP generally a smart nikka but even when he's speaking the truth, he tends to be way too invasive like DaChampIsHere but you can tell the champ get play, with the OP, I didn't think he could get girls.

He talks at his level. He was unemployed, hell I was unemployed but I always looked at this temp and to create a plan for the future. The OP just taking steps without fully looking at the world around him. Being a #1 gen American is hard, I know it. We do things differently then Americans generally do. We don't lounge in sex like that, some of us do but most of us don't. With that said, the OP needs to take a deep look at himself. When @The Nigerian went at him on a diss, I didn't disagree with a thing. I think the OP is a smart fella but he has a lot of issues he is hiding within and I think him not being the success he felt he would be is #1.

The OP would be much better if he started talking to movers and shakers, find a problem common they have, fix it and create a business from it or talk to international business man, find out about the trade and what's not happening the way the like, create a business plan for it, get founding, and start that way. The OP is too reliant of faith when all he has is a degree from Pittsburgh. Go out there and be a true Nigerian, go hustle. If you didn't want to hustle, go back to school and become a professor.

 

[#1 pick]

I'm 29. I spent over 15 years of that as an awkward black nerd that wore glasses and was made fun of and picked on from grade school to high school. College wasn't any different either. Girls didn't like me...I spent most of my time alone and miserable. (I had my group of friends don't get me wrong, but no females in sight).

I just spent time improving my looks physically cause I thought it would help. I traded the glasses for contacts...the whole nine yards.

I think my problem is I still have that mentality and that mindset from those years and it's hard to get over.

Dog, you need to talk to @The Nigerian, you might not like him but he has an overabundance of something you lack which is confidence and unlike me, he is actually willing to take the time to tell you what is wrong with you and how to fix it. It ain't that hard. Now I know for a fact, some of this comes from you not being the success you thought you were going to be. You probably thought, well I am a nerd, smart, etc. Once I make my millions, hoes gonna be at my feet. That shyt works for those white boys but for nikkas, you gotta be a special type of smart nikka and you gotta adjust to your surroundings. To be honest, you really aren't that smart, you come off desperate more times than not. I could understand you doing some like a 5Linx once not knowing better, or selling BS insurance once with not even having people who fukk with you like that which is dumb to me to do it if ppl don't fukk with you but to do it over and over again.

That's what we get on these hoes about when it comes to choosing nikkas. nikka, you gotta get smarter, learn the game, and not just the female game but the game. Learn you have to be yourself. Have the right morals, choose partners who match what you believe in, are going, and respect you at the same time. Even the women in here looking at you like a fool. You got @TheStripper looking at you like a loser. @mariahcooper thinking you a clown. Those are actually the posters who actually listen to nikkas on this site and not just to befriend them either. You got a lot to learn. Some of this shyt you should have learned in middle school but I know, you grew up in the burbs but no excuses. Them cacs teach this life lesson as well.

Dawg, you really need to talk to Nigerian or maybe @Art Barr those two aren't lacking in confidence and they are willing to help a lost nikka.

 

[Flay Mayweather]

Dog, you need to talk to @The Nigerian, you might not like him but he has an overabundance of something you lack which is confidence and unlike me, he is actually willing to take the time to tell you what is wrong with you and how to fix it. It ain't that hard. Now I know for a fact, some of this comes from you not being the success you thought you were going to be. You probably thought, well I am a nerd, smart, etc. Once I make my millions, hoes gonna be at my feet. That shyt works for those white boys but for nikkas, you gotta be a special type of smart nikka and you gotta adjust to your surroundings. To be honest, you really aren't that smart, you come off desperate more times than not. I could understand you doing some like a 5Linx once not knowing better, or selling BS insurance once with not even having people who fukk with you like that which is dumb to me to do it if ppl don't fukk with you but to do it over and over again.

That's what we get on these hoes about when it comes to choosing nikkas. nikka, you gotta get smarter, learn the game, and not just the female game but the game. Learn you have to be yourself. Have the right morals, choose partners who match what you believe in, are going, and respect you at the same time. Even the women in here looking at you like a fool. You got @TheStripper looking at you like a loser. @mariahcooper thinking you a clown. Those are actually the posters who actually listen to nikkas on this site and not just to befriend them either. You got a lot to learn. Some of this shyt you should have learned in middle school but I know, you grew up in the burbs but no excuses. Them cacs teach this life lesson as well.

Dawg, you really need to talk to Nigerian or maybe @Art Barr those two aren't lacking in confidence and they are willing to help a lost nikka.

 

[mortuus est]

i didnt want to post this but i thought it would go with the mood of the thread

 

[Serious]

I'm 29. I spent over 15 years of that as an awkward black nerd that wore glasses and was made fun of and picked on from grade school to high school. College wasn't any different either. Girls didn't like me...I spent most of my time alone and miserable. (I had my group of friends don't get me wrong, but no females in sight).

I just spent time improving my looks physically cause I thought it would help. I traded the glasses for contacts...the whole nine yards.

I think my problem is I still have that mentality and that mindset from those years and it's hard to get over.

this is depressing....

But have you traveled overseas where females literally embarrass themselves to get a black dude's attention. @Malta school this n1gga....

 

[john goodman]

He could travel anywhere it won't make any difference.

You need to learn how to fake it til you make it.. and stop complaining to people

 

[#1 pick]

I'm in the same boat. I have no friends, never had a gf, i live with my gmom, don't drive, never done anything sexual etc. and i'm 24. All I do is work 10 hours a day and go home. I did go on my one and only date in my life last year, found out that it was a pity date after though so fukk it. I don't care anymore.

log off breh, log off of the internet, not just thecoli. I don't even think you try is the problem. I don't think you and the OP have the same issue but you just need to get out and log off. Damn, what type of life are you living breh

I'm quite surprised that most of you who replied even get women with such mentality. There is an art to charming a girl and you all sound clueless referring to women as hoes and b!tches.

They aren't talking to a girl, they are talking to the OP. You really think they would say this loudly to get some play

I tell cats this all the time.. Know your market. Make a mental note of where you're success or your failures come from, what area, what crowd, etc. Are you good in spots where hoodrats hang out at, are you good with the cute 9-5 working regular chicks dwell at, are you good with bougie college educated woman, are you good with instagram-groupie-club b*tches, etc.. Are you better in restaurant bars or quiet lounges as opposed to bottle popping turnt up clubs? Do you pull at music festivals, concerts, or sporting events? Do you get play in certain cities as opposed to where you live at? etc etc etc.. the older you get you gotta have some ideal of this, especially if you're single...male or female. Of course you want to branch out here and there but at least you should have some ideal of where you have a high potential for positive feedback from the opposite sex. The OP is reppin' Brooklyn, I take it he lives there. I was there last weekend. Man there's way too many women out there to not come up on something attractive. That area and population is huge.

-but like a lot have said, work on you first and get that money. Having money opens up doors. And I'm not even talking about millions or a hundred thou, I'm talking that disposable income type money where its not problem for you to hit a restaurant, bar, sporting event, or whatever whenever you feel like it and its not going to break you down the road type sh*t. that's when you start meeting new women too

Breh, he doesn't have a market.

While he's an educated decent looking man, he greatly lacks confidence but he is proud person as well.
Since he is lacks confidence that will kill a lot of chances for him. Confidence isn't just important to get play but it's important within a relationship as well. If you can't give your spouse or partner assurance then they are walking into a potential housefire.

The only types of women who like men who lack confidence are those who like lame soft men with no confidence so they could walk all over them and play by their own rules. Since the OP is a proud man, it's extremely unlikely they will be able to walk over him and they can tell from the jump it won't work. So that leaves him with no market. Now if he had some bank, he could get a golddigger but he has the opposite of bank so no golddiggers will even look his direction.

So what he needs to do is create a market. He could good and get married to the educated Christian women crowd. Those are high on morals, don't require as much swag, but like most markets, the men need to be confident to apply.

The educated activity based ladies is a good market as well. They tend to like White men but most really want a Black men who can qualify. They are more worldly based and have had multiple partners but they generally aren't whores and they enjoy their activities like going to meetups, Pilates, movies, the gym, Barnes & Nobles, etc.

For his background and morals, those are his two best fields. Both require confidence but they don't require as much swag which the OP lacks as well but that's hard to attain than confidence.

Clothes matters- Dress nice and look good. It doesn't need to be the latest and greatest and if you get women you don't need this but the OP needs any edge he can get.

Stay involved- Get in clubs, meetups, get friends, you are in Brooklyn of all places, this is one of the last places you should have this issue.

Work on yourself daily- Books, Reading the Bible, the gym, the right foods, etc

Balance your time- This isn't a must for anyone but it's better if you do.

 

[#1 pick]

this is depressing....

But have you traveled overseas where females literally embarrass themselves to get a black dude's attention. @Malta school this n1gga....

They like confident men as well breh. This goes back to my golddigger post.

 

[Kings County]

and I honestly could care less. I'll be deadass honest...I haven't gotten laid since July of 2012. Before that? 2011. Before then, September of 2008...the last time I was even in a relationship (not even afraid to put those details out there either and I don't care what anybody thinks anyways. I don't value my worth in society based on how many women I have sex with...and that's another thing I find troubling. The fact that this is which puts more stress on men than women to "get some" or else be seen as some impotent loser who just can't pull women).

I'm just honestly so f*cking sick and tired of this online-dating-social-media-hyper-superficial-oversexed-HD-porn-generation of people and it's made even approaching a woman for the time of day a hassle and half. It's like the double standards I see when it comes to women and how the act around someone their interested in as supposed they aren't. I could say something like "hey girl...I wanna pick you up and throw you in a trash can" and they would get mad but if a guy she was attracted to said the same exact thing she would go crazy for it! It sucks when you're a man like myself who's never really been high on the visibility or attractiveness level to the opposite sex. I just got sick and tired of watching all of these other dudes meet women and have girlfriends all the time and I can't so much as get a phone number from a woman or initiate a basic conversation without her saying "I have a boyfriend".

I don't care anymore. Just all of the hassle it takes to even have a date with a woman seems moot at this point and I'd rather work on myself and get this goddamn paper. It seems like a chick don't even wanna give me the digits...or the facebook/instagram/whatever (SMH at this) if I don't have some sort of income, if I'm not making a substantial amount of money, living some sort of steady professional based lifestyle (when the job market is terrible and jobs are hard to come by) or look like one of these toasty boy ass men that these women blog on their tumblrs about. The thing that's frustrating is how hard I've tried working just getting to that point. Sometimes, I even wonder if some of these women even like these guys or just what they can do for them.

My whole life story with women is and has: women like me...but just not enough to entertain the idea of getting into any sort of relationship with me...or to be seen in public with me...or to hang out with me without the company of other people. Therefore I just don't even feel inclined to go in any of those directions. They'll give other men a hug and a kiss on the cheek but they'll just shake my hand.

Call me old, bitter, defeatist, say I've made this thread before, 1 star this thread, or call it whiney or whatever...but it doesn't matter anymore to me. I wouldn't even entertain being in a relationship either (if i did get into one, probably not happening anytime soon) because it's just going to end with us breaking up anyways so I might as well just fap and call it day (even though that doesn't even seem appealing anymore either). Sex is a pretty low priority for me nowadays.

Oh, and I don't care to take anybody's advice or tips either cause seriously I DON"T CARE! I'm a grown ass man and I make my own decision and moves.

i can tell u unhealthy as shyt, your testosterone problably low as fukk, get in the gym and workout when your testosterone is high u have that animal instinct and you'll wanna hunt for bytches

 

[Wild self]

Dog, you need to talk to @The Nigerian, you might not like him but he has an overabundance of something you lack which is confidence and unlike me, he is actually willing to take the time to tell you what is wrong with you and how to fix it. It ain't that hard. Now I know for a fact, some of this comes from you not being the success you thought you were going to be. You probably thought, well I am a nerd, smart, etc. Once I make my millions, hoes gonna be at my feet. That shyt works for those white boys but for nikkas, you gotta be a special type of smart nikka and you gotta adjust to your surroundings. To be honest, you really aren't that smart, you come off desperate more times than not. I could understand you doing some like a 5Linx once not knowing better, or selling BS insurance once with not even having people who fukk with you like that which is dumb to me to do it if ppl don't fukk with you but to do it over and over again.

That's what we get on these hoes about when it comes to choosing nikkas. nikka, you gotta get smarter, learn the game, and not just the female game but the game. Learn you have to be yourself. Have the right morals, choose partners who match what you believe in, are going, and respect you at the same time. Even the women in here looking at you like a fool. You got @TheStripper looking at you like a loser. @mariahcooper thinking you a clown. Those are actually the posters who actually listen to nikkas on this site and not just to befriend them either. You got a lot to learn. Some of this shyt you should have learned in middle school but I know, you grew up in the burbs but no excuses. Them cacs teach this life lesson as well.

Dawg, you really need to talk to Nigerian or maybe @Art Barr those two aren't lacking in confidence and they are willing to help a lost nikka.

Its true, even in the game of dating, black dudes gotta work twice as hard and be twice as sharp as their competition to stand out. I mean, even I was a simp at one point, but I was mad determined never to give up and always soak up knowledge when it was given to me so that my future will never look bleak. Confidence is one step, but the body language and the non-desperate demeanor is the difference of life and death in this dating game.

I hate the simp infested, hypergamy prone shyt that America does, but I had to adapt to it and made sure that when I overcome these obstacles, I can help other (unfortunate) dudes.

 

[Mr. Somebody]

Every friend of mine that started taking Brazillian Jiujitsu had a good woman within 2 years. Its ineveitable when you are trained in BJJ that you are setting yourself up for marriage. Women like men that are strong without having to be demonic.