So I Might Become A Stepdad Soon

[cheek100]

I’m a step dad to my oldest daughters sister, it’s cool.

I'm in the same exact spot bro. Been divorced for almsot three years now and dating single mother.... Right now, no shyt, I'm getting ready to cancel her ass. Too much drama and insecurities. To top it off, I need to learn and be happy by myself, do things by myself and just relax. I'm 37. I need to experience life without being tied down again. She's a good woman, but the time is not right for me. I'm making too much money to have to share it again.

I'm good breh, enjoy.

real spill that’s some grown man shyt

 

[O.T.I.S.]

And honestly, I've noticed with a lot of young black brehs just seem lost. If you carry yourself as a young, strong black breh with respect and guidance, they just might listen, seeing as a lot of them are actually not growing up with strong father figures or positive male role models.

 

[AlainLocke]

Fail at being a husband the first time then jump at being a step dad after 6 months brehs

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

We been dating for about 6 months. I might be rushing, but I waited 3 years to to marry my ex-wife...so :kanyebp:

That's rushing. yall dont know each other like that. And she's already introducing you to her kid at only 6 months in? Not happening, as a mother am I introducing my child to someone I've recently met. Living and/or cohabitating with someone on a daily basis day to day with the added responsibilities of parenting is waaayyy different than the occasional visit or yall linking up from time to time and phone convos. Especially if the son is already crossing boundaries of respect with the mother, .... he's going to test you as well. And he's at that pre-teen stage. If your first marriage didn't work, you should make sure that you're entering into the new situation for the right reasons; you were married before and now after 6 months, you're already contemplating another marriage??? Do you like the idea of marriage over the concept of marriage bc once you commit to that 'stepfather role' , the expectations come with that. That romance and "honeymoon" phase is short lived and you want to make sure you're prepared for all that.

 

[Hellmont]

I bet if OP mentioned the fact that lil breh is already a gifted hooper and very tall for his age a lot ofof y'a would change your tune

Don t care. A dikkhead kid is a dikkhead kid

 

[Solano707]

I’m a step dad to my oldest daughters sister, it’s cool.
real spill that’s some grown man shyt

Yep, my I'm a step father to my ex-wife's daughter... I raised since she was 18 months old, she is now 20

So, that is the reason why I said to not do it. Enjoy life, enjoy your time and your money. This next go-around - I'm not raising another child that is not mine, again.

 

[Dafunkdoc_Unlimited]

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

been talking to this chick and I think she may be the one..she has a 3 year old and a 4 year old tho

How does she find the time to go out on dates with 2 babies in the house?? I have 1 little one and my time management is on some shyt and most weekends, I'm crashing or catching up from what didn't get done during the week
Like I'm not judging you; just a question I'm thinking about.. .and how did yall meet? (just curious for curiosity's sake, you don't have to respond)..

 

[Black Panther]

after 30 it's almost inevitable that you're going to be dating a single mother so... here's my real advice.


Don't try to be his "dad". Try to be more like a good role model or mentor if anything. I wouldn't even want the kid calling me dad. I never called any of my step parents mom/dad. I was well aware who my parents were...

Just think of it like you're a coach, mentor, etc. If that, because you don't have to be and he doesn't have to accept it. When I took my nephew in, I was well aware that I was not his father or trying to be. But I did help him or get on his ass if he fukked up.

So just think of it like you're an uncle that happens to be slamming ass with his momma.

That's rushing. yall dont know each other like that. And she's already introducing you to her kid at only 6 months in?

Last girl I dated for 2 months introduced me to her two kids a month in. I'm a good dude every woman I've been with says I'm marriage material.

Even the ones I was just slamming ass with :mjthanoslit:

And he's at that pre-teen stage. If your first marriage didn't work, you should make sure that you're entering into the new situation for the right reasons; you were married before and now after 6 months, you're already contemplating another marriage???

I'm used to being married. :mjcryhubie:

My parents got married after 4 months, and they're celebrating their 34th anniversary next week. Depends more on the people than the situation, IMO. :kanyebp:

Don t care. A dikkhead kid is a dikkhead kid

:mjlolhairfade:

 

[Paper Boi]

i respect your judgement breh.

 

[CoryMack]

If the kid is disrespectful to his mother that’s a bad sign. Means the woman isn’t doing her job, and that could leave you in an awkward place.

I’ve done it. Don’t think I’d do it again. If the mother isn’t serious about her role as a mother it won’t end well.

 

[Jerz]

when he said he was 30

Don’t fukking do it. Especially at only 30 years wtf are you doing breh

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

I get you’re thinking ahead, but if you’re just meeting him, then you’re probably not too far along in your relationship with the mom. Just let things play out, as you continue to be in the breh’s life, he may straighten up - if you’re a positive role model

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

Last girl I dated for 2 months introduced me to her two kids a month in. I'm a good dude every woman I've been with says I'm marriage material

Notice that the operative word is "Last" as in EX... that didn't make you question her decision-making skills at the time?? smh.... I'm not exposing my child to random men in temporary status... at 2 months??? I'm barely even inclusive friends with him.
and you might want to change that poll of yours to "get married again, brehs"... ...

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

My parents got married after 4 months, and they're celebrating their 34th anniversary next week. Depends more on the people than the situation, IMO

That was 34 years ago.. that's a whole different time; social conditioning is based on dysfunction and selfish attention these days. Then again, my parents were horrible examples of a functional marriage and their subsequent marriage to other people didn't go well; maybe I have a more realistic perspective on the downsides of relationships and making assessments. Recently, I learned to appreciate having peace of mind and not being responsible for anyone's emotions but mine. If you have that emotional support and all is viable, with her long term (and financial decisions).. more power to you.