Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women
- Thread starter Rominati
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trap101-ETHout-Allegri-In
Superstar
Y'all ain't friends..........you guys are choosing to hide under the guise of "platonic friendship" when in truth all that is present is repressed sexual tension and curiousity. You're far from the first and far from the last of men and women who are so petrified of acknowledging their own feelings that we hide behind the "friends" tag. I had been guilty of it before too in the past unitl the day came that I recognized what it was and embraced it.......Having sexual feelings or even romantic feelings doesn't automatically mean that you are going to be married and live the white picket fence life. But if there is that much physical contact and time being spent together, then there are feelings there. Everybody has a choice of what they do with their time. Some might not value their time as much as others, but we all have a choice. You both actively choose to spend intimate time getting to know each other on breaks...........actions speak louder than words..................So I got this 27 year old chick at work that for the last two weeks has been talking to me a lot, asking me to go on EVERY break with her and we generally have a good time talking to each other. We joke around and roast each other and also talk about life and psychology and sexuality.
Context that might be worth considering:
-We know a lot of the same people outside of work but were never really friends until recently
-shes not really my type physically but she has a cute face (asian/white mix) (I've playfully told her she's not my type physically and joked that she needs to eat something and gain some weight)
-I've seen her onlyfans page from back in the day and I know she's a freak
-i was smashing her previous roommate and her roommate told her everything about me and it was after this that she started talking to me more (they are no longer roommates because the roommate moved away)
Anyway we go on break today and we talking our usual shyt, in our usual spot and she sits down right next to me, our knees touching. She's eating a snack and has some of it on her lip and I reach over and wipe it off her lip and she doesn't even flinch at this.Later on in the convo we somehow get on the subject of panties she's wearing and we talk about that. I put my hand on her knee and she doesn't say shyt about it, nor does she attempt to move my hand or her knee away
We about to head back in and I stand up and help her up and when I do, I go to kiss her and she backs up saying "no way, uh uhhh" but she's smiling and laughing at the same time and I end up laughing too.
She tells me "nice try, I gotta give you props for going for it" and I say "well how else am I gonna know unless I try right?". She laughs and says she's not gonna be "sloppy 3rds" and we both laugh about this shyt all the way into work.
After my shift is done I leave and im on the sidewalk checking my phone and she comes up to me and playfully kicks my leg, smiles and tells me that she thought I had left already and we talk a little more about our schedules for the upcoming week and everything is all cool and I tell her I'll see her later and she goes back in to work
So the thing I'm wondering is if I had completely misread the signs or if it just wasn't the right time or what?Should I even try again or really just keep it as platonic friends? Physically she really not my type but her face is definitely cute and on some level I wanna smash her just to know that I could. Not really sure why she'd wanna come talk to me and ask me to hang out every break if she didn't have some sort of interest.
Maybe it hurt my chances by letting her know I'm actively smashing multiple chicks? No clue brehs but I am happy with myself for shooting my shot even if it means rejection
@re'up @Ohene @trap101-ETHout-Allegri-In
What kind of work do you do?....and yes your timing was atrocious. Why make a move on the job regardless of the feelings in the air? Only way you should be kissing her is if you guys were already smashing.......
Now this is all under the assumption that the chemistry is there and going by your story it is.......but if it isn't. Well you are being used for a twisted game of validation from her part, an extreme case of the work husband. I doubt it though.
Simple question, have you guys not spent time together hanging out after work? That right there is the simple litmus test. You guys should actually go out on a date (but it seems you guys will have to phrase it in terms of "hanging out" instead of what it is...
.), feel each other out. See how you guys get along outside of the forced interaction of the work environment.She's talking about "sloppy thirds", but little do you know she has made her mind up. I say this to dudes all the time, why would a woman who is repulsed by you and have no interest in you physically be in a need to inquire about your sex life? If it was not on her mind on in consideration there would be no reason for the convo to veer into those directions.......
But I will say you may have fumbled the ball by the way you talk about your multiple partners. If you talk about the other girls you are fukking and it appears as if they are simply disposable, then she will not want to feel just as disposable. There is a way to let a woman know you have more partners without it coming across as sleazy. At heart no girl wants to feel like a cum receptacle.
Does she know you know about her OnlyFans?....Would be interesting to see how she feels about that...
Also huge caveat: How much do you value your job? Because if this goes south there will be reverberations
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The roommate thing, but also timing and context. At work. On break. Maybe not a great time. Makes her feel too easy. Like eating that last piece of pizza because you are bored at work.
She likely knows from her old roommate, how that ended up, like how acted afterwards? Were you cool, was it a one time thing, were you 'worth' having sex with? She's not totally not down, she's just extending things, wants you to work for it, but she could, like anyone change her mind at any time, and may just like the chase. Which could be like quicksand, the more you go, the further you'll sink.
If it was me, and I really wanted her, I would ask her out on some kind of romantic date. Like drinks somewhere really romantic, walking on the beach. Or just keep the friends things going, but drop all the 'you're not my type' stuff, and keep your hands to yourself, but keep the interactions heating up.
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RaspberryFitted
Boyz In Motion Member
The way y’all move at work 
I am glad you went more into that. That is behavior that we all learn on the playground, but grown men and women need to drop that shyt. It doesn't mean you can't have friends, but the whole denying an attraction, whether one sided or not is almost always always bullshyt.
That's why those situations always end messy, because one person becomes delusional, while the other feigns ignorance. Or they get drunk enough, and then the next day one or both people are back to denying their feelings, which is painful after they have been expressed, physically. I know a few women who have these male friends, and I'm always like they are clearly in love with you. But it serves you in some way, so you keep it going.
You don't need to yell it from the rooftops, but expressing your attraction, or desire is a sign of emotional intelligence, maturity, and yes being "intentional". It also clarifies things. I tend to lead with that more often than not. Never tell a woman you aren't attracted to her, that you want to sleep with bro.
The Jewnited States
Superstar
Y'all ain't friends..........you guys are choosing to hide under the guise of "platonic friendship" when in truth all that is present is repressed sexual tension and curiousity. You're far from the first and far from the last of men and women who are so petrified of acknowledging their own feelings that we hide behind the "friends" tag. I had been guilty of it before too in the past unitl the day came that I recognized what it was and embraced it.......Having sexual feelings or even romantic feelings doesn't automatically mean that you are going to be married and live the white picket fence life. But if there is that much physical contact and time being spent together, then there are feelings there. Everybody has a choice of what they do with their time. Some might not value their time as much as others, but we all have a choice. You both actively choose to spend intimate time getting to know each other on breaks...........actions speak louder than words..................
What kind of work do you do?....and yes your timing was atrocious. Why make a move on the job regardless of the feelings in the air? Only way you should be kissing her is if you guys were already smashing.......
Now this is all under the assumption that the chemistry is there and going by your story it is.......but if it isn't. Well you are being used for a twisted game of validation from her part, an extreme case of the work husband. I doubt it though.
Simple question, have you guys not spent time together hanging out after work? That right there is the simple litmus test. You guys should actually go out on a date (but it seems you guys will have to phrase it in terms of "hanging out" instead of what it is...
She's talking about "sloppy thirds", but little do you know she has made her mind up. I say this to dudes all the time, why would a woman who is repulsed by you and have no interest in you physically be in a need to inquire about your sex life? If it was not on her mind on in consideration there would be no reason for the convo to veer into those directions.......
But I will say you may have fumbled the ball by the way you talk about your multiple partners. If you talk about the other girls you are fukking and it appears as if they are simply disposable, then she will not want to feel just as disposable. There is a way to let a woman know you have more partners without it coming across as sleazy. At heart no girl wants to feel like a cum receptacle.
Does she know you know about her OnlyFans?....Would be interesting to see how she feels about that...
Also huge caveat: How much do you value your job? Because if this goes south there will be reverberations
All of this is on point, thank you for your reply and time spent on this subject.
If I do a deep dive on my feelings, I probably wouldn't have been spending as much time as i did with her on breaks if it was PURELY as a friends. I don't even know if it's possible for me to be platonic friends with a chick unless she's absolutely atrocious in the face.
To address some points:
-her roommate had been totally down for a straight fwb situation and did not care one bit about me smashing other women. She told this other chick and at that point I figured it would be better to just be upfront about it, rather than get caught in a lie
-she knows that I know about her onlyfans page, and has detailed to me the money she made off it and what type of people subscribed to her shyt and the requests she's get. she asked me if i had any videos of myself bussin down a chick because her roommate told her I'm well endowed and she wanted to see
-shes a "sexually liberated female" that doesn't believe in monogamy which also contributed to me divulging more info about my sex life than i probably needed to
-timing is atrocious for sure but unfortunately due to my parole stipulations I can't really take her out on a date right now unless it's a day time date and our scheduled days off happen to align, which is not likely to happen any time soon. This is a big factor in me trying to press my luck at work
-i don't care about this job, we are working at a high end grocery store. Don't plan on being at this job even 2 months from now
Once again, thanks for the reply
The Jewnited States
Superstar
I fell into the trap of trying to categorize this bytch in my head instead of just letting things develop organically
The Jewnited States
Superstar
STOP fukkING WOMEN YOU WORK WITH
STOP fukkING WOMEN YOU WORK WITH
STOP fukkING WOMEN YOU WORK WITH
STOP fukkING WOMEN YOU WORK WITH
If this was a real career I'd stay far away. Right now im working a bullshyt ass grocery store job and don't care about it
Hacksaw Jim Thuggin
Superstar
right....The way y’all move at work
say this shyt out loud....
1. ex-onlyfans chick
2. he works with her
3. he use to smash a ex roommate that she still cool with
4. he made a move on her that she shot down
dude gonna end up in HR or jail or both....
leave that chick alone....
you already said she not even your type....you just wanna smash to see if you can
Hacksaw Jim Thuggin
Superstar
its the lack of sexual discipline....
men we gotta move better
The Jewnited States
Superstar
right....
say this shyt out loud....
1. ex-onlyfans chick
2. he works with her
3. he use to smash a ex roommate that she still cool with
4. he made a move on her that she shot down
dude gonna end up in HR or jail or both....
leave that chick alone....
you already said she not even your type....you just wanna smash to see if you can
trap101-ETHout-Allegri-In
Superstar
After reading your reply this is what i was going to say.... she asking to see your piece, you got the "ex-felon" dangerous allure thing going, even though you are not playing on it and staying on the straight and narrow...I fell into the trap of trying to categorize this bytch in my head instead of just letting things develop organically
...... you have no reason to rush things, let it play out organically, matter of fact don't even continue with sex talk. You're smashing chicks so you know what you're doing.you shouldn't have the feelings of desperation of a dude who has never had p*ssy, never gets it, and is finally in a sitjation to get his dikk wet so he is panicking over every little thing because he doesn't want to "blow it".
Maybe you're over thinking it this was cause she isn't from the same realm. of women you usually mess with so it is a new foreign experience.....
either way.... chiiiiiilllll....... you get to smash and y'all enjoy, then good........ if you don't smash.... such is life.... you will have plenty of opportunities to get other box
This isn't meant to be condescending or preachy, or dismissing good advice, but A LOT of people hook up/sleep together/meet their girlfriends at work. At all kinds of jobs, service industry, academia, start ups, nightclubs, hotels, medical offices, dentists offices, restaurants, real estate, on and on.
There is some element of classism at hand when those discussions come up, I have never worked a job with many women, but there are many, maybe even most jobs were it's a part of the landscape.
The points of reference that people are using for the strict no work thing is usually like a corporate job, even a high level one, that has policies in place about disclosing relationships, or whatever. Like the movie Fair Play.
There is some element of classism at hand when those discussions come up, I have never worked a job with many women, but there are many, maybe even most jobs were it's a part of the landscape.
The points of reference that people are using for the strict no work thing is usually like a corporate job, even a high level one, that has policies in place about disclosing relationships, or whatever. Like the movie Fair Play.