Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[kevm3]

Best post in this thread so far.

Here is the actual post for people too lazy to click the link

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/..._insightful_analysis_of_the_nature_of/c83z3qx
The site is down here's a cached copy

Man affections vs boy affections

a while back i finally figured out what makes a good relationship.

most of the gamey talk is all focused on getting laid. getting laid is the easiest thing in the world, after you do it for a while. what’s not nearly as simple is to maintain an excellent relationship. i’m going to venture out on a limb and say that MOST relationships are crap. and yet it’s really just two fundamental principles, that determine the success of any relationship. it’s ridiculous that it took me so long to figure this out.

my relationships used to be sort of average. have a girlfriend, sometimes you get along, sometimes you don’t. sometimes she’s a c*nt, sometimes she’s nice. sooner or later there are the annoying bits of jealousy and wondering if she’s cheating, and then all the arguments and breakups. standard shyt.

to figure out why most relationships suck, eventually you have to look at the type of emotional connection you are seeking:

emotional validation from your partner
being able to ‘trust’ your partner
support from your partner
sort of, almost unconditional love from your partner, ‘as you are’
seeking approval from your partner
there’s more aspects, but that’s probably enough to make the point we’re getting to.

we are simple creatures. we are programmed to have an emotional connection to the opposite sex. to get a little weird about it for a second though, think about how this programming expresses itself:

there are only two types of man-love our brain is wired for.

one, the love you got, wanted to get, hoped for, maybe experienced – from you mother, as a child. that’s a key kind of emotional connection to the female. and, as much as that sounds fukked up, it’s the type of connection most men are trying to find again in their adult life – from a girlfriend / wife.

seriously consider this. look at the few bullet points above. what kind of ‘love’ is that? let’s not judge it, just look at it objectively. that’s how most men view love. they don’t think about it consciously, but that’s the love they got to experience as a child.

here’s some news: no girl will ever love you like your mom did.

before we get a bit more into that, let’s look at the other type of man-love our brain has wiring for:

the love a father has for his daughter.

again, we have to remove all the incestous, sexualized, weird bits of it, and just look at the emotional components that drive the type of interaction, expectation, dependence, and outcome. how does a father love his daughter?

giving emotional validation to the child
rationing trust, with having ‘hand’ – control
providing support
molding her in his image
giving approval, as long as the child does at it is supposed to
compare these bullets to the ones above. how do you feel about that? take out the mother / daughter thing. just look at the giving & taking ratios, look at where the control lies.

there is always control in a relationship. question is just – who has it?

there is no other emotional romantic connection wiring in our brain. it’s either seeking the love you got from your mother as a child, or creating the love you get from your offspring.

everything manosphere talks about fits into this model. the whole concept of ‘beta’ is embodied in how men deal with women who they want maternal love from. they are the weak ones, seeking approval, expecting this ocean of support, putting a woman on a pedestal. and guess what – it works for shyt. mom love is done after you are grown up. realizing that means having to step away from that, coming to terms with the fact that this kind of emotional bond is DONE. being a man means being at the top of the social hierarchy. on the flip side, relationships suddenly work incredibly well when you treat a girl not like an adult that you look up to, an adult that you seek validation from – but like a child.

think about it. shyt tests? from an adult, maybe. but a child? how do you treat a child who shyt tests you? well … a lot of men haven’t grown up enough to be called men, so they still wouldn’t know. but for some of us, all that’s missing is this conscious realization. you don’t seek the validation of a child, do you? you don’t ask a child if it’s ok for you to go out, do you? when you want a child to do something, how do you address it?

i’m not saying, ‘be a dikk’. you still game children, a lot. you want to reward them for good behavior. dealing with kids isn’t easy, either. but if you figure that out, then you also figure out a healthy relationship with a girl. i don’t really believe that the ‘a$$hole game’ is a fully evolved strategy. it’s just better than wanting a replacement mom. so when a girl has the choice between a grown up (who is an a$$hole) vs a sniveling boy who wants a mother – she will of course pick the a$$hole.

but give her the choice between a father figure, an a$$hole, and a sniveling boy and the father figure will win, every time. part of that is giving validation, creating boundaries, being clearly in control.

if you want a great relationship, start reading parenting psychology books (not the new age feminist ones). and dog training books. you can take this however far you want, once you get comfortable. xsplat likes to go full on daddy. it’s a genius move. a bit depraved? maybe. but better than the advocates of game stuff who act like children themselves – basically saying ‘treat girls like you are 12 and in a sandbox with a girl’. and better than mainstream culture which puts out disney shyt and romantic comedies that all emulate maternal love relationships (which don’t exist).

my relationships have become something entirely different since i started taking the father figure approach. girls love it. they are willing to do anything and everything, and the general bullshyt from girls is maybe 5% of what it used to be – before i figured this out.

 

[Singh]

God it feels so good to be de-wired from all the bullshyt fam .

For the last two months I've been focused on advancing my career goals and getting back in touch with a few of my hobbies that I've been seriously neglecting (writing/recording music & working out).

I no longer see a fly broad and get over it automatically. This sh1t is not a script either I just stay calm and relaxed knowing I'm choppin it up with a fly broad "pretty girl, nice body, cute smile, big t1tties, bubbly a$$"........ yeah so what?. I don't deny the sexiness of the broad but I don't get over it.

This relates back to what kevm3 said in his older posts. I swear to a lot of the new females I interact with (latin, indian, white, or black) get "shook" when I talk with them. They start to look away get uncomfortable, look down, stutter, and get slightly awkward. shyt is a trip and I ain't doing anything crazy just being chill and being a master of my domain. I'm not acting hard, tough, gangsta, or alpha. I'm just being real.

Feels fukking good to get some god damn respect on a consistent basis from general females real talk.

I got females valuing my presence. Why? because I've been learning to value my own presence from now on.

Anyway it's time for everyone that reads this thread to evolve and become better men.

 

[MikelArteta]

So I just got back from my date with the Russian girl. It was cool, we met at Starbucks and they ended up being closed. So we got in her car and went to panera (some sandwich and soup place) on our way there we spoke about life and the topic of living came up in which she said she lived alone, and asked if I did too. I felt quite embarrassed to say I live with my mom (although I'm just 21) but explained to her that I'm transferring to a university and am going to move out soon. Anyway besides that I felt comfortable, we got to the place and I paid for her coffee and we sat outside and talked for 2 hours about life and such and I think that's where I really won her over because she got to see how mature I was and goal and career driven as well as intelligent. After about 2 hours we headed back to Starbucks to drop me off. Which was cool because when we first met up I initiated the hug motion and she responded, but when she dropped me off she initiated that she wanted a hug. So we hugged, I said we should go out on the weekend and she responded that she doesn't work Tuesday and Thursday so that'd be better, so I told her I'd call her Wednesday to set up something, then said bye and got out.

Bad thing is that I know her sisters which are my age, and hopefully they don't try and talk down on me to her. Besides that it was a good night, she's definitely one of the prettier girls I've been on a date with and we can really communicate on like a mature adult level.

Edit:funny thing was I ran into people that I knew while we were out, an older white guy and some Turks. I think it caught her off guard because me being fashionable and shyt that I'd know people and be cool with all kinds of people.

Never feel embarrassed

Sent from royalty using Tapatalk breh

 

[kevm3]

Imagine this scenario for a second. You walk into a jewelry store, and start looking at the rings, and one particular ring catches your attention. You look up at the salesman and ask for him to pull it out for you so you can try it on. You put it on your finger, admiring it quietly, but your look tells it all. You tell the salesman that you want that ring... In return, the salesman gives you a puzzled look and says, "I wouldn't get that if I was you. It's vastly overpriced for what you are getting and that's not a high quality diamond. In fact, you can go to the jewelry store right across the street and get a better diamond ring for cheaper." What would you do in that situation? You would be quite puzzled at that salesman and then proceed to take your business across the street.

Now, imagine this scenario. You walk into the jewelry store and the jeweler sees you eyeing that same ring, but before you say anything, he pulls that diamond ring out of the case and motions you to hold out your hand. You hold out your hand and he slides that ring right onto your pinky finger. You see it twinkling on your hand and he looks you in the eye and says, "That's you. That ring is you... but only if you believe in yourself and you believe you are worth it. That is a gorgeous ring and it fits you to the tee, but it's not cheap. Lucky for you, we have it on sale today, so if you really want this ring, today is the day to get it. I can't guarantee how long we'll have this ring in stock either... Rings like this sell out quick." You would be much more likely to pull out your wallet and get this ring in the second scenario.

In both instances, you have a diamond ring, which is essentially a shiny rock... but who really made the difference in you getting the ring was how the salesman responded to you. Now I'm saying this to say, what you think about yourself is very important because it starts to project outward. If you believe yourself of low worth and believe a woman is out of your league and all kinds of other nonsense, that's exactly the perception a woman will have of you. If you believe yourself to be high worth, it will project outwards and that will start to be many womens' perception of you. Do you want to be the guy that is telling women you are a low worth fraud and that she should shop elsewhere for a much better value or do you want to tell her that you are a once-in-a-lifetime deal for her that she better hurry and wrap up unless someone else gets you? You actually control much of peoples' perception of you by what you think of yourself because it eventually manifests outward.

 

[360dagod]

God it feels so good to be de-wired from all the bullshyt fam .

For the last two months I've been focused on advancing my career goals and getting back in touch with a few of my hobbies that I've been seriously neglecting (writing/recording music & working out).

I no longer see a fly broad and get over it automatically. This sh1t is not a script either I just stay calm and relaxed knowing I'm choppin it up with a fly broad "pretty girl, nice body, cute smile, big t1tties, bubbly a$$"........ yeah so what?. I don't deny the sexiness of the broad but I don't get over it.

This relates back to what kevm3 said in his older posts. I swear to a lot of the new females I interact with (latin, indian, white, or black) get "shook" when I talk with them. They start to look away get uncomfortable, look down, stutter, and get slightly awkward. shyt is a trip and I ain't doing anything crazy just being chill and being a master of my domain. I'm not acting hard, tough, gangsta, or alpha. I'm just being real.

Feels fukking good to get some god damn respect on a consistent basis from general females real talk.

I got females valuing my presence. Why? because I've been learning to value my own presence from now on.

Anyway it's time for everyone that reads this thread to evolve and become better men.

Its crazy..

I catch women grilln me and I nod to say hello...

Then they look at me like Im the crazy one

 

[Turbulent]

Imagine this scenario for a second. You walk into a jewelry store, and start looking at the rings, and one particular ring catches your attention. You look up at the salesman and ask for him to pull it out for you so you can try it on. You put it on your finger, admiring it quietly, but your look tells it all. You tell the salesman that you want that ring... In return, the salesman gives you a puzzled look and says, "I wouldn't get that if I was you. It's vastly overpriced for what you are getting and that's not a high quality diamond. In fact, you can go to the jewelry store right across the street and get a better diamond ring for cheaper." What would you do in that situation? You would be quite puzzled at that salesman and then proceed to take your business across the street.

Now, imagine this scenario. You walk into the jewelry store and the jeweler sees you eyeing that same ring, but before you say anything, he pulls that diamond ring out of the case and motions you to hold out your hand. You hold out your hand and he slides that ring right onto your pinky finger. You see it twinkling on your hand and he looks you in the eye and says, "That's you. That ring is you... but only if you believe in yourself and you believe you are worth it. That is a gorgeous ring and it fits you to the tee, but it's not cheap. Lucky for you, we have it on sale today, so if you really want this ring, today is the day to get it. I can't guarantee how long we'll have this ring in stock either... Rings like this sell out quick." You would be much more likely to pull out your wallet and get this ring in the second scenario.

In both instances, you have a diamond ring, which is essentially a shiny rock... but who really made the difference in you getting the ring was how the salesman responded to you. Now I'm saying this to say, what you think about yourself is very important because it starts to project outward. If you believe yourself of low worth and believe a woman is out of your league and all kinds of other nonsense, that's exactly the perception a woman will have of you. If you believe yourself to be high worth, it will project outwards and that will start to be many womens' perception of you. Do you want to be the guy that is telling women you are a low worth fraud and that she should shop elsewhere for a much better value or do you want to tell her that you are a once-in-a-lifetime deal for her that she better hurry and wrap up unless someone else gets you? You actually control much of peoples' perception of you by what you think of yourself because it eventually manifests outward.

low self-esteem is really a bytch. that feeling of "why would she even want to be with someone like me...she must have ulterior motives..." and the more you think it, the more your speech and actions are soaking wet from this type of mindset where you think you're of low value. The funny thing is, when a chick wants to be with you, chances are she's feeling the same way. sometimes when you get to know her better you'll see stuff about her that makes you realize why she also felt that way about you.

 

[Turbulent]

@Turbulent do you have any idea why she did that? And if she hits you up in a few days will you give her a chance or are you done with her ass? Was she like a fukk type or wifey type or what?

Btw spent an hour watching that black Phillip show, shyt is addictive.

She actually ended up texting me the next day (yesterday), apologized and gave me a somewhat believable excuse on why she didn't call me back. I gave her the benefit of the doubt because she's acted cool towards me since the beginning and also i admit because im kinda feeling her. She gave me her number first without me asking, i gave her mine back in exchange. She's the first one who texted, first one who called, first one who talked about meeting up, I told her we'd go see a movie, I arrived at the movie place a little tight time-wise and she was already there. she told me she already bought the tickets i'm like I told her next time is on me. She's been super cool with me and i feel like she earned the benefit of the doubt for this incident. Is she playing a deep game of trying to get me all :inlove: over her and then switch it up on me?? who knows. (and again i admit i'm starting to catch feelings...) All i know is that as long as she's cool with me, i'll be cool with her. If she switches up, i'll stop feeling her because it won't be "the one i was feeling" anymore...

I had no idea why she did it and i tried not to worry or think about it because it's out of my control. For all i know, maybe she told the truth or maybe she was out at some bloke's flat in Peckam...had she not called yesterday i would have waited til today and called her just to make sure she's not at the hospital or anything like that and then throw her in the bushes, fukk an explanation.

 

[Cory MBA]

I'm not in NYC right now. I'm at my base in Virginia. I'm pretty close to Virginia Beach though so the waterfront is a great idea. They actually have a little amusement park there as well. Good stuff.

Take her to Mount Trashmore for a walk. You should know where it is.

Go to Busch Gardens...in Williamsburg.

Or just go to the waterfront and walk, bike, or rollerblade.

It depends on how long you have known her.

 

[sixsixtwo]

 

[sixsixtwo]

 

[Ohms Law]

You got the original link? Wanna hear what those folk had to say

 

[George Gooney]

I think it was brother @kevm3 that said something about music subconsciously affecting your mindstate and behavior...I have to say that recently I discovered this to be factual(atleast in my case) I been listening to a lot of R&B lately and it's been weakening my resolve and stoic nature towards these females and letting them get away with corny shyt. Brother @His_Excellence_Reincar told us to "always check on our investments" and I've been investing some of my valuble attention to a potential female suitor and she's been starting to get a little cozy...I remember having her number for a year and never even bothering to call which clearly bothered her stated here in this computer screenshot from my old facebook(names and faces blocked out for obvious reasons)

Spoiler

I still didn't call later that day. Notice that convo took place summer 2 years ago when I was with my ex(the one who would later leave me with her moms to go be with another negro) and I wasn't really checking for shorty like that...Her words "yea yea you never call" and "I gave you my number and you never called " show I was the one being chased... But as of us recent I finally started talking to shorty and I notice my behavior was a little different and was wondering why until 2 days ago I caught myself humming some R&B to myself while I texted shorty And realized that as of recent I've been listening to a lot of simp music and noticed the effects it was having on my behavior. Shorty is even trynna switch it up on me now too by taking much longer to respond to my texts and me being the one to initiate more and more.

The moral brehs is that we always have to remind ourselves of the codes and rules of manhood when dealing with females and people in general and that this is a way of life and not a quick fix...I'm deleting shorty's number out my phone right now and going back about my life as we speak because I caught myself stumbling down a dangerous path... I thank y'all for this thread and I feel I had to contribute a little from my personal life to let y'all new brothers know that you got brehs growing and learning with y'all and that there's hope... Keep up the good work!!!

 

[ridge]

You got the original link? Wanna hear what those folk had to say

An "Is it rape?" question. (Sorry, and TW) : SRSWomen

 

[Singh]

Its crazy..

I catch women grilln me and I nod to say hello...

Then they look at me like Im the crazy one

#truestory

Same shyt happened to me last week breh at work with this new broad, some mexcian single mom (red flags all day) was lookin at me for a sec. I turned like "Hey how's your first day going, got any questions?". She goes "Oh no sir" (I'm fukkin 26 and don't even look old nor do I have any position of "power" at my job) and looked away like I wasn't even supposed to catch her gawkin and say something.

Funny thing is I ain't even trying to holla at all, it's just the way I'm dealing with these females from now on.

 

[Poh SIti Dawn]

I think it was brother @kevm3 that said something about music subconsciously affecting your mindstate and behavior...I have to say that recently I discovered this to be factual(atleast in my case) I been listening to a lot of R&B lately and it's been weakening my resolve and stoic nature towards these females and letting them get away with corny shyt. Brother @His_Excellence_Reincar told us to "always check on our investments" and I've been investing some of my valuble attention to a potential female suitor and she's been starting to get a little cozy...I remember having her number for a year and never even bothering to call which clearly bothered her stated here in this computer screenshot from my old facebook(names and faces blocked out for obvious reasons)

Spoiler

I still didn't call later that day. Notice that convo took place summer 2 years ago when I was with my ex(the one who would later leave me with her moms to go be with another negro) and I wasn't really checking for shorty like that...Her words "yea yea you never call" and "I gave you my number and you never called " show I was the one being chased... But as of us recent I finally started talking to shorty and I notice my behavior was a little different and was wondering why until 2 days ago I caught myself humming some R&B to myself while I texted shorty And realized that as of recent I've been listening to a lot of simp music and noticed the effects it was having on my behavior. Shorty is even trynna switch it up on me now too by taking much longer to respond to my texts and me being the one to initiate more and more.

The moral brehs is that we always have to remind ourselves of the codes and rules of manhood when dealing with females and people in general and that this is a way of life and not a quick fix...I'm deleting shorty's number out my phone right now and going back about my life as we speak because I caught myself stumbling down a dangerous path... I thank y'all for this thread and I feel I had to contribute a little from my personal life to let y'all new brothers know that you got brehs growing and learning with y'all and that there's hope... Keep up the good work!!!

Tbh I don't think it's R&B, I listen to R&B often. It has something to do with you and handling your business. Not to sound like I'm some kind of pro, but you shouldn't be having text conversations with women in the first place unless it's extremely short lived (a question). Also you shouldn't even notice that she takes longer to respond, you should be focusing on you and if you wanna talk then call her on the phone and organize a date.