Remember, guys, the big thrill for a woman is not going on a date, or smooching, or getting laid. The big thrill for a woman is being asked. Once you show interest, she's had her ego boost and probably doesn't need anything more.
What a woman loves more than anything else is to have a guy come up to her and say, "You're beautiful. Would you go to dinner with me?" Then it's an even bigger thrill for her to say, "No, thanks." It makes her feel special, as though she's too good for you. That's it, then. That's the big ego boost, the big thrill.
All of that dating, kissing, and sex stuff is extra. Or, perhaps, only if she wants to further indulge her fantasies, or she's horny.
Just think of it this way: "looks" for women = "money" fo rmen; "being asked (and being able to say no)" for women = "sex" for men.
---
My problem was that I worshipped women from afar. I thought that women were something magical and special, and I didn't know how to behave to "deserve" to be with someone like that. (Insert "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!" here.)
Now that I'm married, it's slowly dawning on me (very slowly) that women are far from being magical and special. Although they're very good at putting up a mysterious, magical, goddess-like façade, there is in fact nothing behind that façade. I'm discovering that when you strip away the curves, the long eyelashes, the coquettish look and little smile that makes your heart go thump-thump (among other things), underneath there is nothing but immaturity, self-aborption, illogic, impracticality, hormones, and emotion. In short, the problem was that I had women on a pedestal. Now that I live with one, all women are coming down off the pedestal in spite of my mental efforts to keep them there (insert sounds of internal battle).
The men who do well with women are those who realize, early on, that women are not the way that they say they are, but are instead the way men say women are. They realize that paying attention to women's complaints about men is a loser's pasttime. My problem was (and, to some extent, still is) learning to put women in their right place in my life. I hope to arrive (someday) at the point where my wife is just there, and I don't base my self-esteem on what she thinks of me, or our home, or the world. To truly internalize (not just realize intellectually) that she gets her opinions from Oprah and her sense of truth from chatting with her girlfriends (who also get their opinions from Oprah).
The problem, of course, is that as a young man I felt the need for female companionship ten times more keenly than I do now. In a way all of this stuff we're writing here on this board is too glib for a guy of 15, 20, or even 25. At that age, I was asking, "How can I find love with a good woman eithout it hurting so much, without being burned and having my heart broken?" The only answer I can give is that you can't. You have to get through all of that stuff in order to put women in their correct context. Without lots of personal experience (either with women or at being rejected by women), you can't fit the pieces into place. The only comfort I can offer is that you're supposed to be screwing up and making lots of mistakes. The fewer mistakes you make, the longer it will take you to figure women out, and the more likely you'll decide to marry before you really understand what's going on. (That'll happen anyway, but it's a question of degree.) There's really nothing we can write here that will allow you to avoid all of that.
---
Women believe their friends more than they'll ever believe you. If her friends start telling her stories about how white guys cheat and how you're probably off screwing some waitress, she'll believe it much more readily than she will your protestations of innocence. Your pleadings that you never did anything are just more evidence to her of what a liar you are. Of course, she may eventually relent, but this sort of believe-the-girlfriends behaviour is almost universal among women.
-----
Women will pick fights because they're bored and want some drama. My wife does this often. I had an ex-girlfriend actually admit to this, saying that she had "tried to pick fights" with me but was frustrated that I hadn't taken the bait. Men, who generally love peace and quiet, think that a complaining woman is unhappy with something and try to fix the problem. In my experience, a complaining woman is simply drama-starved and is trying to make her life more interesting by whinging and/or picking a fight.
---
hat has happened in America, among other things, is that women have realized that for heterosexual men, women own the market on lifetime companionship, sex, and family. They think they're the only game in town. They're the cartel. So, they raise their "price" to the skies, all the while having a good laugh over the fact that men have no choice but to pay.
The "price" in this case is not financial. At least, no more than before feminism, and arguably less. Women now make their own money, so men have less pressure on them to earn than before. The "price" that has gone sky-high is the amount of bullshyt that men have to tolerate from their women in order to get companionship, sex, and fatherhood. Or, if you wish, the quality of the companionship and fatherhood products has gone way, way down. Women know this, and they're fine with it. They take exception that men could even entertain the idea that today's women offer the kind of quality companionship and family that their great-grandmothers offered. Women have discovered that so long as they stick together and all demand the old price for the new, inferior product... so long as they form a compact and nobody gives in, men have no choice but to pay.
Women always worked this way. Even in great-grandmother's day a girl who "gave it away" was called a slut and tossed out of the social group. These days the terms are different: "giving it away" is no big deal in America, but offering quality companionship is now what makes all the other women look bad. American women no longer put up high walls to protect the "sex" part of their offering. Instead, they offer easy sex but lower the quality of their companionship to rock bottom. So long as they all do it, it works.
Until, of course, they go somewhere where the women are still offering the old deal: quality companionship, enjoyable sex, and the opportunity for meaningful fatherhood. There are barriers, of course: language and culture barriers that should not be dismissed as trivial. Nonetheless, Western women are outraged because these women break their monopoly. They can no longer offer an inferior product and expect to have men falling over themselves to buy. They must at least raise the quality of companionship to the point that it equals the difficulties in language and culture.
If you raise the price high enough, or lower the quality of your product low enough, your customers will go farther and farther afield looking for a better product or a better price. The worse your product, the less daunting the obstacles of distance, language, and culture seem.
