Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

Ahadi

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I get what you’re saying & no. When you have your shyt together you can control everything. You shouldn’t be having to work hard at all. But it all depends on your environment and social circles if you’re running into “worse” women frequently, it’s more of a reflection of you & your quality.

Great advice from @WIA20XX , as we’re approaching summer time, you’re move should be “I’m going to be at ______, you should join me”

You should be doing low investment activities to vet then expand once you decide you want to be in a relationship with her.
 
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Redwood

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Those are like gender norms that go back centuries at least

but, a lot of that was resold and repackaged as self help by Steve Harvey with Think Like A Man, Act Like A Woman, which was actually a kind of funny movie, but a whole generation of women who are now my age 38, grew up with that as a kind of guideline.

Like a lot of things that seem "weird" in dating, it's based in self protection. According to the teachings, making a man wait, will increase your value, and you act like a wifey and not a hookup. There's also the self protection of EVEN IF the guy ghosts you kept your dignity, and even got some dinners and whatever out of it.

There's also some truth in the idea that if you do go on 10 dates with someone, you will probably humanize each other more than after 3 drinks and a Lyft ride house.

In reality, people will probably either

A) move on to someone else

B) wait and eventually just do the same thing they were always going to do

C) both at the same time

my thought is that's a very American approach to sex, applying all these business/economic ideas to sex. Sounds like an escrow process right? Or the idea that in sales, less availability = higher value.

It's capitalism, breh. It's the American way :francis:
 

re'up

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Having sometimes had these convos with women, not always about me being in the 90 range, but generally, all those kinds of convos about commitment and rules and so on - mostly come down to gender norms about women not initiating sex, and not wanting sex. Because in that 90 day range thing, where do the women's desires come in? Do they not exist? Are they so in control they can just wait? How can you be sure if the person is even any good if you are waiting 90 days, hasn't that sapped a lot of the tension and attraction?

The answer is they really don't. They are left almost entirely in the hands of the man.
 

Vilify

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Expound on “hoeflation”
The idea that women are pickier so men are having to do more/be more just to bag the same level or even lower caliber women than they could in the past. Like I said it's been my experience on hinge and I've heard some men in the online space saying the same thing. It's possible that it's BS and I just need to get off those damn apps since they're oversaturated.
 

Ahadi

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The idea that women are pickier so men are having to do more/be more just to bag the same level or even lower caliber women than they could in the past. Like I said it's been my experience on hinge and I've heard some men in the online space saying the same thing. It's possible that it's BS and I just need to get off those damn apps since they're oversaturated.

It’s true. The woman today have more resources and more assets. But many lack the traditional foundation -

Weight management
Social skills
Willingness to compromise / provide effort in relationship
Femininity / wife school

Depending on what you’re looking for you as a man have to come with equal or more, but also be in the space of the 10% men they desire.

But like I said, if you’re struggling or you don’t like the selection, that’s in front of you, you have some work to do. This includes:

Getting into a solid gym routine
Increasing your income up
Move to a new environment
Expand your social circles
Invest into new hobbies, etc.

Societal changes are always going to be in effect so the best thing you can do is just adapt.

I personally only use apps if I’m traveling on a work trip, or vacation. Real life is always top tier for me & those women (most of the time) aren’t on an app.
 

Doin2Much Williams

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Insignificant posting from an insignificant poster


The comments on this post are enlightening and sad. Chick's talking about getting panic attacks around relationships.

So many damaged people out here. You find a good match that is open to working together on a healthy relationship best to lock them down as what's mostly out here is bad product.



It aint just womans out here with massive trauma, deep-seated insecurities and extreme anxiety.



I aint even have kids or ever married (let alone propose to a woman) and every time i get into a new love thang... its stressful as hell for me.


Back in my 20s/30s... used to just go w the flow and not care. Now all the things ive learned and experienced that used to help me navigate/traverse the avenues of love/courtship, since my mama passed (in 2015)... all flew out the proverbial window.


My last 4-5 situationships since then was crash test dummy car towards a concrete wall status.



Once i fall for somebody, i fear the fukk that shes going to leave me (subconsciously, of course).


Its created very tumultuous and toxic love affairs for me... because i either dont trust anyone or think shes only dating me cuz im the fun guy thats mr right now.



It scares me. And when i try to hold on for deer life, of course that repels the ladies.


And the thing is that i know better; i was one of the og’s here preaching all the pro-playa, hoh mantras/lifestyles.



But here i am, single, out of love (of course, still dating consistently).... but all these encounters ends up with a 100 percent failure rate. Even if shes a standup woman w her own, incredible features and is wifey material.


Guarantee ill find a way to fukk it up.



Sad shiit man.



Very depressing news from you boy.



*bumps Young Gunnaz “Norf of Death”.



.
 

Ohene

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It aint just womans out here with massive trauma, deep-seated insecurities and extreme anxiety.



I aint even have kids or ever married (let alone propose to a woman) and every time i get into a new love thang... its stressful as hell for me.


Back in my 20s/30s... used to just go w the flow and not care. Now all the things ive learned and experienced that used to help me navigate/traverse the avenues of love/courtship, since my mama passed (in 2015)... all flew out the proverbial window.


My last 4-5 situationships since then was crash test dummy car towards a concrete wall status.



Once i fall for somebody, i fear the fukk that shes going to leave me (subconsciously, of course).


Its created very tumultuous and toxic love affairs for me... because i either dont trust anyone or think shes only dating me cuz im the fun guy thats mr right now.



It scares me. And when i try to hold on for deer life, of course that repels the ladies.


And the thing is that i know better; i was one of the og’s here preaching all the pro-playa, hoh mantras/lifestyles.



But here i am, single, out of love (of course, still dating consistently).... but all these encounters ends up with a 100 percent failure rate. Even if shes a standup woman w her own, incredible features and is wifey material.


Guarantee ill find a way to fukk it up.



Sad shiit man.



Very depressing news from you boy.



*bumps Young Gunnaz “Norf of Death”.



.
sounds like your attachment style is 'anxious'
seek help

that young chris track a banger btw. lotta gems on that album
 

Ohene

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It’s true. The woman today have more resources and more assets. But many lack the traditional foundation -

Weight management
Social skills
Willingness to compromise / provide effort in relationship
Femininity / wife school

Depending on what you’re looking for you as a man have to come with equal or more, but also be in the space of the 10% men they desire.

But like I said, if you’re struggling or you don’t like the selection, that’s in front of you, you have some work to do. This includes:

Getting into a solid gym routine
Increasing your income up
Move to a new environment
Expand your social circles
Invest into new hobbies, etc.

Societal changes are always going to be in effect so the best thing you can do is just adapt.

I personally only use apps if I’m traveling on a work trip, or vacation. Real life is always top tier for me & those women (most of the time) aren’t on an app.
its not that simple though eh

let me ask, what constitutes 10% of men? you can be buff, make $$$, live in a good area, be outgoing/have hobbies etc. but that doesnt mean itll yield you the women you want. its even less likely if being that kinda man causes you to have higher standards or expectations

believe it or not a lot of these women men are going after are fukkin around with low lives or dudes who can simply show them a good time. this is why party promoters, drug dealers and shyt eat so much. they are around enough women and are generous with how they spend money or open doors for them. in this era, its more about clout or perception then being an actual high value man or whateve rppl wanna call it
 

DJSmooth

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Is anyone else being impacted by hoeflation? Working twice as hard to bag chicks that are 5x worse than they were in the past. That's what I'm experiencing on Hinge anyway. Some people are saying it's the same offline too.

It has never been easier in a time period to get women if you have your stuff together.
 

MikelArteta

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hey guys, finally self published my book. think a lot of yall would find the perspectives in it interesting/insightful. and in other cases it would make for some good debates.


let me know if any of yall decide to check it out. i'm very very happy with what ive put together and I aint the type to big myself up like that

Just got it
20240227-124409.jpg
 

re'up

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It aint just womans out here with massive trauma, deep-seated insecurities and extreme anxiety.



I aint even have kids or ever married (let alone propose to a woman) and every time i get into a new love thang... its stressful as hell for me.


Back in my 20s/30s... used to just go w the flow and not care. Now all the things ive learned and experienced that used to help me navigate/traverse the avenues of love/courtship, since my mama passed (in 2015)... all flew out the proverbial window.


My last 4-5 situationships since then was crash test dummy car towards a concrete wall status.



Once i fall for somebody, i fear the fukk that shes going to leave me (subconsciously, of course).


Its created very tumultuous and toxic love affairs for me... because i either dont trust anyone or think shes only dating me cuz im the fun guy thats mr right now.



It scares me. And when i try to hold on for deer life, of course that repels the ladies.


And the thing is that i know better; i was one of the og’s here preaching all the pro-playa, hoh mantras/lifestyles.



But here i am, single, out of love (of course, still dating consistently).... but all these encounters ends up with a 100 percent failure rate. Even if shes a standup woman w her own, incredible features and is wifey material.


Guarantee ill find a way to fukk it up.



Sad shiit man.



Very depressing news from you boy.



*bumps Young Gunnaz “Norf of Death”.



.

still waiting on that story from a few years ago! Younger woman, maybe middle eastern. I remember you posting about it.
 

Sleepy Floyd

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There was this chick I was getting to know a few years ago but I chose not to get into a relationship with her because I thought she was crazy. We never had sex, I was honestly worried about what would happen if we did. I had the strangest and most confusing interactions of my life with her, it was really unsettling and I started to actually feel uncomfortable around her like I was in danger...

She had a daughter yet did not have custody and was never with her daughter which I thought was weird.

I still see her from time to time when I'm out at events and every time I have an interaction with her I'm reminded why I didn't pursue a relationship with her.

I decided to look her up in the state case files today and she had previously been put into a Civil Commitment facility and classified as Mentally Ill. Which also explains why she doesn't have her daughter and why I rightfully thought she was crazy. This is the second time I have looked up a strange chick and found that in the history. They start out putting on a good act but eventually the facade falls apart when something doesn't go their way...

I looked at the chick's social media and several years ago she looked extremely healthy, beautiful smile, dressed in really nice clothing all the time, thick full head of hair. Then she didn't post anything for like 2 years. And in all her pictures afterwards, she dresses kinda bummy, has dark circles under her eyes and her hair is more thin, never smiling.

Pay close attention to these women's behavior
 
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