Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[kevm3]

Let me tell you something. We've posted about a lot of the shady women in the thread, but never let the lower quality women cause you to change your character and lose your gentlemanly qualities.

I hear a lot of cats say they aren't a gentleman because they mistake gentleman with a nice guy simp that caters to woman. That is completely wrong. the second word in gentleman is man... first word is gentle. In other words a gentelman is a man that handles his business in a 'gentle' manner, or in other words with finesse, smoothness, calmness and collectedness... but if necessary, he will do what his necessary for his family, friends and himself to maintain their respect and to survive as long as it fits his code of principles. A gentleman is NOT being a man that dresses in suits and caters to women... but a gentleman DOES have manners and doesn't decide to discard them because certain kinds of women want cats without manners.

Do I consider myself a gentleman? Absolutely. A gentleman is not a weak man that caters and compromises. On the contrary, he handles the business of a man in a smooth, dignified manner and makes it look easy--hence the word gentle.

 

[Dusty Bake Activate]

I'm reading this post and fundamentally you're not really saying anything different to what the majority of posters have already been expressing throughout this thread. It's clear that you're here because of some personal gripe and nothing more and all this talk about "misogyny" is just a smokescreen. After all the recent rants by the opposition that, out of nowhere, have suddenly flooded this thread, I've seen dudes clearly explain their positions until they're blue in the face and one poster even waved the white flag, yet you don't even want to come to some kind of agreement or common ground, but just repeat the same thing over and over just to cause disruption.

Oh I'm definitely saying something fundamentally different than some of the ideas that are expressed in this thread, and it's not a smokescreen to say they are misogynistic because they are. I don't mean to paint the whole thread with a broad brush though. I haven't read the whole thread and I was co-signing NBW and his particular criticisms of the chauvinistic views that I find offensive as a human being who believes in human rights, free expression and equalIty--expressed by some who show a prominent presence here.

I see successful relationships as a balancing act between two parties that need to show each other mutual respect and engage in open communication, not a hierarchy with the woman invariably in a subordinate role. I said I do for the most part lead in my marriage, and I think that usually will be the case, but not always. One might lead in one area they're strong in and one might lead in another area. But it is a partnership.

My wife called me not too long ago and asked if she can buy some shoes and a dress she wanted because we both just got paid. I said yeah. I control the finances because I do it better than her and she trusts my proven judgment. But that's not all relationships. I know some people where the wife handles finances because she does it better. You find what works for you.

This archaic "the woman must submit" stuff is outdated and essentially useless in today's modern society where both people get educated and work and have more equalized individual rights and opportunities. But some dudes here engage in this binary hyperbole where they cast any sentiment that a woman should have any assertion of will as a threat that should be put down, or indicative of a lack of masculinity on the part of the man, and that is just a reflection of good old-fashioned fear and insecurity.

And there's a lot of painting and generalizing of women in the most negative light possible, as all heartless, souless conniving sociopathic creatures who need to be shackled while presenting the man as the hapless emasculated victim, which is a distortion that turns reality lon its head when you consider the rights and advantages of women vs. men historically and today.

In a thread that's supposed to be about tips on dealing with women, a lot of it has just devolved into treatises on how bytches ain't shyt but hoes and tricks and nothing but advice on how to be a lonely no p*ssy getting woman-hating bum. Even much of the advice offered is predicated upon the most ugly assumptions being cast on all women. Like NBW said, what do you think women would think reading a lot of these thoughts expressed here? Even the most submissive women would read it like " lol...fukk these losers." So there's no surprise why they don't have success with women.

 

[Scustin Trillberlake]

Oh I'm definitely saying something fundamentally different than some of the ideas that are expressed in this thread, and it's not a smokescreen to say they are misogynistic because they are. I don't mean to paint the whole thread with a broad brush though. I haven't read the whole thread and I was co-signing NBW and his particular criticisms of the chauvinistic views that I find offensive as a human being who believes in human rights, free expression and equalIty--expressed by some who show a prominent presence here.

I see successful relationships as a balancing act between two parties that need to show each other mutual respect and engage in open communication, not a hierarchy with the woman invariably in a subordinate role. I said I do for the most part lead in my marriage, and I think that usually will be the case, but not always. One might lead in one area they're strong in and one might lead in another area. But it is a partnership.

My wife called me not too long ago and asked if she can buy some shoes and a dress she wanted because we both just got paid. I said yeah. I control the finances because I do it better than her and she trusts my proven judgment. But that's not all relationships. I know some people where the wife handles finances because she does it better. You find what works for you.

This archaic "the woman must submit" stuff is outdated and essentially useless in today's modern society where both people get educated and work and have more equalized individual rights and opportunities. But some dudes here engage in this binary hyperbole where they cast any sentiment that a woman should have any assertion of will as a threat that should be put down, or indicative of a lack of masculinity on the part of the man, and that is just a reflection of good old-fashioned fear and insecurity.

And there's a lot of painting and generalizing of women in the most negative light possible, as all heartless, souless conniving sociopathic creatures who need to be shackled while presenting the man as the hapless emasculated victim, which is a distortion that turns reality lon its head when you consider the rights and advantages of women vs. men historically and today.

In a thread that's supposed to be about tips on dealing with women, a lot of it has just devolved into treatises on how bytches ain't shyt but hoes and tricks and nothing but advice on how to be a lonely no p*ssy getting woman-hating bum. Even much of the advice offered is predicated upon the most ugly assumptions being cast on all women. Like NBW said, what do you think women would think reading a lot of these thoughts expressed here? Even the most submissive women would read it like " lol...fukk these losers." So there's no surprise why they don't have success with women.

Reading this thread and taking in the knowledge here has made me 1000% more successful with women. Both with sleeping with women and women wanting to be in a relationship with me. I don't have much time to post right now but i will be back to address more of what you have said.

 

[rapdonttweet]

Im going to go in this one more time for people to understand what theyre saying. if we can reach a common ground, then maybe we can begin to see where the others coming from.

the preaching of the submission to God means that you give up your regular life, in order to pursue living up to the standards and order deemed by God. doing so - you now chose (big word to notice there) to abide by His rules and code. that is the submission from one life to the rules of another.

when you chose to follow the law of the land, and you chose to let police defend/protect your rights, or you agree to let them haul you into court for whatever reason, you are submitting yourself to the scrutiny and judgment to the power of the law. this is also a submission from one brand of life (lawless) to another brand (lawful)

now when you go to work, you are under the companys thumb, you report in regularly to your boss, and you "submit" your work there. this is done to meet the appropriate standards and codes under their rules. and yes, even school has a standard of behavior for accceptance and a need from you to conform and submit to their ways. no getting caught with drugs, no stealing, no fighting, etc etc. these are all rules to submit yourself to and live by.

a relationship can have this as well. and just as there is one submission to live by on one side, there is one on the other side as well. but men and women do not interchange their roles very effectively, nor is it desired by many people.

thats it. simple to understand.

This does not sound like a relationship: Submit | Define Submit at Dictionary.com

The God comparison doesn't fly with me. God is the ultimate authority. God told Abraham to kill his own son and Abraham was supposed to obey to prove his loyalty. No woman on earth should listen to their man unconditionally like that.

A relationship is give and take. You both have to be on the same page and cooperate with each other to build something. Not submit, cooperate with someone you care about.

When looking for a relationship, you should not be trying to conform someone to your standards. Instead, you should be looking for a female who already lives by those standards. And likewise, she has her own standards of what she wants in a man that you may or may not meet.

 

[Dusty Bake Activate]

Im waiting go ahead, keep speaking tales

You hate what kevm says because you hate religion.
You've said nothing of value, and just name calling and throwing out women hater


Sent from royalty using Tapatalk breh

If I pointed out a particular misogynistic comment by you--you could throw a dart and randomly hit one--you would just try to rationalize it away so it's pointless.

You defended spousal rape bruh. Nothing left to say.

 

[rapdonttweet]

I see successful relationships as a balancing act between two parties that need to show each other mutual respect and engage in open communication, not a hierarchy with the woman invariably in a subordinate role. I said I do for the most part lead in my marriage, and I think that usually will be the case, but not always. One might lead in one area they're strong in and one might lead in another area. But it is a partnership.

My wife called me not too long ago and asked if she can buy some shoes and a dress she wanted because we both just got paid. I said yeah. I control the finances because I do it better than her and she trusts my proven judgment. But that's not all relationships. I know some people where the wife handles finances because she does it better. You find what works for you.

This archaic "the woman must submit" stuff is outdated and essentially useless in today's modern society where both people get educated and work and have more equalized individual rights and opportunities. But some dudes here engage in this binary hyperbole where they cast any sentiment that a woman should have any assertion of will as a threat that should be put down, or indicative of a lack of masculinity on the part of the man, and that is just a reflection of good old-fashioned fear and insecurity.

I agree completely with this.

 

[CrossBones]

This does not sound like a relationship: Submit | Define Submit at Dictionary.com

The God comparison doesn't fly with me. God is the ultimate authority.

so theres no authority in a relationship? nothing or no one to answer to, just chaos huh.

God told Abraham to kill his own son and Abraham was supposed to obey to prove his loyalty. No woman on earth should listen to their man unconditionally like that.

A relationship is give and take. You both have to be on the same page and cooperate with each other to build something. Not submit, cooperate with someone you care about.

the give and take comes in from both of you being dedicated to the relationship. submit yourselves no longer to a single life where you are free to do whatever, instead it submit to a life where both of you are doing what it takes to make it work. each of you playing your roles is important for it to work. you both have needs. and you both have strengths. so be ready to submit to that relationship of give and take.

what we're saying isnt opposed to each other, you guys just miss the point

When looking for a relationship, you should not be trying to conform someone to your standards.

the whips and chain argument again? no one is being forced. "standards" are just that. having somethings that are acceptable, and somethings that are not

Instead, you should be looking for a female who already lives by those standards. And likewise, she has her own standards of what she wants in a man that you may or may not meet.

yeah, thanks. we got that though. already.

 

[kevm3]

This does not sound like a relationship: Submit | Define Submit at Dictionary.com

The God comparison doesn't fly with me. God is the ultimate authority. God told Abraham to kill his own son and Abraham was supposed to obey to prove his loyalty. No woman on earth should listen to their man unconditionally like that.

A relationship is give and take. You both have to be on the same page and cooperate with each other to build something. Not submit, cooperate with someone you care about.

When looking for a relationship, you should not be trying to conform someone to your standards. Instead, you should be looking for a female who already lives by those standards. And likewise, she has her own standards of what she wants in a man that you may or may not meet.

When we say submit, we don't mean dominate and force women to do your every bidding. It means being the primary authority and having the final say. It makes taking ultimate responsibility and accountability. It means being the man that the woman can really look up to.

It doesn't mean only thinking for yourself and making decisions that benefit yourself to the complete detriment of the wife/girlfriend... nor does it mean completely assuming control of every single decision and micromanaging her life. When you go to work you are submitting to your boss. If you go to a physical trainer, you are submitting to a physical trainer. You accept their leadership and plan to improve your life in that arena.

Submission is NOT turning a woman into some kind of slave for you, removing any decision-making from her, never listening to her counsel, etc. It means taking control and ultimate responsibility and not compromising who you are and what you are about in the process.

 

[Dusty Bake Activate]

First of all, I'm happy for you and your wonderful marriage. You've found a situation and method that works for you.

However, you're under the assumption that the attributes that are existent in your relationship and exhibited by your wife is extrapolated to all women. Sometimes it's better just to give advice than to put everybody else down before saying "here, what I have over here is better." Not quite sure that will go over well.

As far as the material in this thread, everybody doesn't agree with everything. The difference is that we don't waste our times trying to argue with people about what they "feel" or "believe". We keep and build on what we think makes sense to us, and we discard what we don't.

We also have to humble ourselves. You made a comment about none of these guys having women. Everybody in here has dated women before. If they didn't, then they would have anything to reference from. Some of the time they are referencing from experience, sometimes they reference from theory. We're all different ages as well.

I don't like the tone of this thread lately. It's been hostile. People are attacking this thread, instead of ignoring it if they don't like or respect the content.

Instead of taking the "You dudes are gay and don't know how to deal with women" approach, how about "Hey, this is something I learned while dealing with my lady... maybe this might work for you."

Just food for thought.

On the contrary, I was citing that as a setup that works for us and I said every relationship has a different dynamic and it's for each couple to sort out what works for them. That is opposed to folks preaching these gender roles and specific rules and guidelines for every man and woman.

That stuff isn't really advice unless you get a woman who is acculturated to playing that role. Most women ain't hearing it. It sounds like some people are basically just butthurt because women aren't what they want them to be.

Dude said he wants a woman from overseas because she'll be more submissive. Do you if that works for you. I think it's telling perhaps of selfishness that you grow up in this American society accultured to all its freedoms and space for individuality, embrace it and stay here, yet when it comes to a woman, you want one that was brought up in and accultured to a more conservative authoritarian society, but whatever.

 

[rapdonttweet]

so theres no authority in a relationship? nothing or no one to answer too, just chaos huh.

The lack of an authority figure does not equate to chaos. There is more to life than two extremes.

the give and take comes in from both of you being dedicated to the relationship. submitting yourselves no longer to a single life where you are free to do whatever, but it means to submit to a life where both of you are doing what it takes to make it work. each of you playing your roles is important for it to work. you both ahve needs. and you both have strengths. so be ready to submit to that relationship of kind of give and take.

Both of you are free to do whatever you want. You can go off and have sex with someone behind your girl's back. Likewise, she has the choice to leave you for doing so. Again, not submit, COOPERATE. You are trying to use the two words as synonyms when they are not.

what we're saying isnt opposed to each other, you guys just miss the point

The comparison to God was made earlier and I just used an example that points out very clearly that it is not the same kind of relationship. So yeah, I am opposed to that comparison. And the use of the word submit.

the whips and chain argument again? no one is being forced. "standards" are just that. having somethings that are acceptable, and somethings that are not

We know what standards mean.

yeah, thanks. we got that though. already.

Then not sure why you are bringing up submitting. Find the female that is right for you and stop the obsession with submission. Find someone who will cooperate with you instead.

 

[rapdonttweet]

When we say submit, we don't mean dominate and force women to do your every bidding. It means being the primary authority and having the final say. It makes taking ultimate responsibility and accountability. It means being the man that the woman can really look up to.

It doesn't mean only thinking for yourself and making decisions that benefit yourself to the complete detriment of the wife/girlfriend... nor does it mean completely assuming control of every single decision and micromanaging her life. When you go to work you are submitting to your boss. If you go to a physical trainer, you are submitting to a physical trainer. You accept their leadership and plan to improve your life in that arena.

Submission is NOT turning a woman into some kind of slave for you, removing any decision-making from her, never listening to her counsel, etc. It means taking control and ultimate responsibility and not compromising who you are and what you are about in the process.

The thing is, a man doesn't have the final say in a relationship. Its a partnership. The woman can leave him at any time for any reason if she doesn't like what he is saying. You are trying to use the word for virtually any context involving an interaction between people. It just doesn't fit.

 

[CrossBones]

The lack of an authority figure does not equate to chaos. There is more to life than two extremes.

if youre not answerable to anybody, then you can do what you please. it literally is a free for all. do what you want, do as thou wilt. thats the definition of not being tied down.

see, everyones hung up on this religious use. get over it, as it applies to more than that if you can see through the fog.

now listen, authority doesnt have to belong to just one person. both people are answerable to another. so if you want to talk about loyalty, honor, and being in a monogamous relationship, then yes, you are answerable to another person. always.

Both of you are free to do whatever you want. You can go off and have sex with someone behind your girl's back. Likewise, she has the choice to leave you for doing so. Again, not submit, COOPERATE. You are trying to use the two words as synonyms when they are not.

if YOU like that, okay. but establishing a commitment is being emphasized as meaning submission to each other. thats how it can work. without that submission, and no authority, you end up sharing that girl willingly. almost like those 2 chumps and their one woman.

but a lot of us, we're not looking for that. yes, ultimately anyone can do what they want. this is not slavery we are discussing. its not forceful. its a willful submission. thats why its called a submission. because both are giving up certain privalidges and lifestyle to submit into the relationship

if youre on that cuckold shyt, say so. but dont twist it up and act like doing whatever you feel like, whenever you feel like, is condusive to having a successful relationship. because who wants everybody doing whatever? who wants to stick with that

most people are looking for something where both partners have respected each others wishes and dignity, even when theyre out, or apart from another. they are answerable to another.

The comparison to God was made earlier and I just used an example that points out very clearly that it is not the same kind of relationship. So yeah, I am opposed to that comparison. And the use of the word submit.

yeah, because you missed the point. it was a comparison for someone who changes their life around for their commitments - through submission of certain laws. but you missed that, I know.

We know what standards mean.

so then use like I did, that way you dont have to be beatin around the bush about it and act like we meant something different.

Then not sure why you are bringing up submitting. Find the female that is right for you and stop the obsession with submission. Find someone who will cooperate with you instead.

so you do not understand. got ya. cooperation comes through a life of submission to each other. we're saying the same things, but youre just bickering over a word. you choose to submit to being argumentative instead of listening. thats cool.

 

[kevm3]

The thing is, a man doesn't have the final say in a relationship. Its a partnership. The woman can leave him at any time for any reason if she doesn't like what he is saying. You are trying to use the word for virtually any context involving an interaction between people. It just doesn't fit.

I'm just going to have to respectfully disagree for my personal tastes. If your strategy is working for you, I hope you continue to see success with it. There's nothing wrong with having different ways to handle business. Sort of like art, you can tell two artists to paint the same thing and they will come out with two completely different results.

 

[DanielAlfredsson]

Social media really is the devil. I just had a chick who I'm just friends with bytch me out via text because I have never commented on her pics, and she saw me compliment another broad's pic.

 

[kevm3]

Social media really is the devil. I just had a chick who I'm just friends with bytch me out via text because I have never commented on her pics, and she saw me compliment another broad's pic.

Man it's crazy. "I'll insult who I want."

That's a woman I'd have to put on the backburner. Respect is a priority for me.