Kevm3 was justifying and defending Chris Brown for beating Rihanna's ass earlier in the thread. Reincar is worse. Dude literally laughed at spousal rape on the old site, and said that a man's wife's vagina is a his possession and equated it to a car. That's the type of dudes you're dealing with. There's no reaching them with rationality.
None of the dudes have any women. That's what funny, lol. We're supposed to be listening to dudes in their 20's with no education in counseling or psychology, and no wife, and strings of bad relationships who are spiteful from having been cheating on or having their potential children aborted by women "drop knowledge" or relationships.
Part of the reason why I know most of the stuff they're talking is bullshyt is because I am married for 6 years and have been with the same woman for going on 10 years, and I am the more dominant one and she is more submissive and some of our issues we've had in the past have arisen out of that dynamic. It's not perfect and we definitely have had our ups and downs and have even been on the brink of divorce before like most couples nowadays, but we've worked out a lot of things are we're closer now than ever.
Some women are comfortable totally submitting, not having an opinion and just cooking, cleaning, and childbearing due to how they have been acculturated. But unless you get a wife straight off the boat from Saudi Arabia somewhere, that's probably not going to be the case in America in 2013. So you can sit there and be bitter and cry like a little bytch because it's not the 1940's anymore, which ironically is not "manly" at all, or you can deal with reality (personally I wouldn't even want a woman like that).
Relationships have their distinct dynamics and there isn't a one-size-fits-all solution. There's going to be a struggle for power and respect, but that's something you have to work out and determine with your partner. Like I said, I have always been the more dominant one and my wife would often just accommodate me. But too much accommodation and lack of assertion on the part of a woman over time + verbal disrespect leads to built-up resentment and that will manifest itself in some ugly ways. She's not a dummy or some stepford wife. She's intelligent and college-educated.
So that's something we had to work out. We were getting into some bad fights over minor stuff that blew up much bigger than they should. We went to marriage counseling. Did weekly "active listening times" where we openly aired out our grievances or whatever. We started communicating more, respecting each other more, and alleviating the power struggle and being more cognizant that this is a partnership, not a hierarchy.
And at the end of the day, I do "lead" most of time. But there's a process where ideas are shared and the best agreement is reached. My logic has always been sharp, but now my communication skills are more effective so that I can articulate myself in a way that has her like
And she usually agrees based on practicality, not submission. She trusts me to handle finances because I do a good job at it. And I listen to her and sometimes her ideas are better than mine. If they are, we go with them. That's a respectful, adult relationship.
But I suppose I could've just keep alienating her until she left then immersed myself into a world of internet losers calling people "manginas" and "white knights" and crying about women not submitting.
If your lady is making all the decisions then she doesnt respect your leadership.The laid back approach can destroy your relationship. Just like in life if you arent firm and aggressive in your decisions/stance,then you have no respect.
