Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Ahadi]

for starters, most are used to the bare minimum. You could even argue a portion are used to being treated like shyt so a simply “I enjoyed our time tonight” is the equivalent to a marriage proposal to them. Another issue is these women are expected to return that energy back and can’t

A universal answer is that simplicity makes things smoother.

also.. “doing a lot” is relative. What is it did you do? How early did you do it into y’all relationship?

Yeah, that’s why I pulled back completely. I’m from a big city so doing big activities is normal. Maybe we’ll hit up a concert, restaurant opening, listening event, product launch whatever. I used to hear the “pressured” line, so I immediately pulled back.

But since I moved, I had two dates in particular. They came over, we chilled, had wine,I ordered food cause I was hungry and offered her food & that was that. Made out with both, never heard from em again. Had to ask one of em, if she made it in and the other it seemed good but idk. Oh well.

 

[360dagod]

Yeah, that’s why I pulled back completely. I’m from a big city so doing big activities is normal. Maybe we’ll hit up a concert, restaurant opening, listening event, product launch whatever. I used to hear the “pressured” line, so I immediately pulled back.

But since I moved, I had two dates in particular. They came over, we chilled, had wine,I ordered food cause I was hungry and offered her food & that was that. Made out with both, never heard from em again. Had to ask one of em, if she made it in and the other it seemed good but idk. Oh well.

Because the "pressured" line might come from "Confusion" on your behalf strategically..

What I'm saying is..

When I hang out with a bytch, I don't "make moves" unless they do 1st and I tell them "indirectly", whatever they do with their p*ssy is their business...

Simply cuz, if they sense your doing this to fukk them, it becomes "transactional"..

Essentially, they might feel the shyt you doing not genuine..

 

[Brandsdale]

So what’s the conclusion for why doing the bare minimum for women awards us quickly vs doing a lot and receiving nothing?

Throughout my experience, I’ve done both and recognized by doing very little / doing something simple gets me more ass than, when I put actual thought into a date.

Funny enough, couple years ago while I was in university, my approach to dating was much more poised and organized (setup proper dates, being punctual, dress in my work clothes etc.) but I wasn’t getting any ass at all

Once I stopped caring and put in minimal effort (final year of Uni) things started to shift a bit in my favor. Most of my date ideas were ice cream, coffee, bar, car & smoke etc. I think when I was much more of a square, women may have seen me more as a dweeb tbh and a bit too nice. But when i took a more relaxed approach, i started fukkin more. I find it much easier to talk to women outside of a formal setting and as long as im not nervous or feel like I gotta dress to the nines its super easy for me to make chics laugh or just have a flowing conversation.

Takes time to notice these things but once you do, you realize that too much effort and poise can also sometimes turn some women off.

 

[skyrunner1]

A skillful conversationalist can pull these ideas, these beliefs out of a woman.

How are we doing this now?

Recently our brother in DC, StuntOne, posed a query involving 2/3 DC chicks. 42 year old that wants to be an actor, and a 51 year old looking for an Alpha Male and a guy used to "boss girl energy".

These chicks told on themselves.

How are we uncovering women with these destructive mindsets in a face-to-face setting?

What kinds of questions are we asking?
What sorts of comments are we making, and taking note of reaction?
What sort of small actions is she taking that we can safely assume, she's for the streets?

For me personally, the convo side is easy. I just look at it like taking them in the deep waters and they tell on themselves. Over the years you see what cues to check and like mentioned with social media its definitely made the chameleons job easier but they still seem to lack self conscious. Obviously answering this question will only help them improve, lol..

I have dealt with the ratchets in younger age, funny you use "city girls" as being around a chick like Caresha before future dubbed her "Yung Miami" even thats a level I usually would shake my head to now(know too much about background and her circle) to women in that middle management range to actual "boss chicks" who pull in verified M.

Ratchet types never really had problem with, but thats only for good time, never long term. Boss chicks I know are cool, never really had issue with them. Could make some feel type a way cuz the few I interact with do legit try to spoil you and had no problem paying for things. My interaction with Lawyer/Doctor/flight attendant type mostly came from online dating when it first was popping off. Was cool but they were BUSY, which fit what I was about at time. Have pulled the nightlife chicks that make good money but they were flighty actually flight attendant should be here also.

The ones who seem to be issue is like HR chick or Social worker chick who think they are boss chicks but really employees, like they in that 80k-100k range, and it activate something but got the appearance of money but heavy in debt, energy is a little off because they just a headache to deal with down to even ordering food. I cant deal with those. Not my type I cant swing at all.

Main thing I use is present myself as fun nonjudgmental, lover type off rip (make sure this is congruent in that your vibe match your clothes, match your car and how you live). I dont care what mask you have on. If we just vibing, drinks flowing (these girls drink like sailors now and smoke trees like chimneys), I am social drinker/dont smoke but I think that will help draw out the real for sure. Take them in environments like a E11even or tootsies. Or make them hang out with my friends (mask can be on well for one point of reference but harder when its multiple people), Hang out with her friends (she can present a certain way but will all her friends stay on code, unlikely, in all my years I dont think I seen any group of friends not be who they are when the drinks flowing, if they ratchet its gonna show) Meet her peoples (family is different than friends, I like to see the interactions and see if they got issues with their family, how they handle conflict. If you can go weeks without talking to mother or siblings I know you will possibly do same with me.) Mini/weekend getaway (change up the environment and see how interact, how they handle little things that are bound to come up) Check out their social media (many people are very unconcious about how they present themselves on social media, now a chameleon might be a little more on point, thats where the fun/lover type helps, you get the real finsta, and other accts over time and see whats real.)

Thats just off the top of head for someone I would think could be something over a few months period of really trying to get to know. Hope post make sense, or I have to format better.

 

[Brandsdale]

Speaking of LSA

Seeing that we have some guests in the thread, my question to y'all....

Avoiding the obvious red flag type chicks is easy.

I don't deal with "City Girls" in no type of way. They avoid me, I avoid them. To y'all who run through them, I salute you!.

That said, there's a certain contingent on advanced degree, professional job having, upper middle class income making, type of sista that has a "City Girl" mindset.

Type of chick that "wants to build with someone", but is really out to destroy.

IMO, Kevin Samuels was the first one to put this on display.
Night after night, "I'm a PhD" type women would expose their mental processes for all to see.

We did not see the true face of the Black American Female, in all of her glory, uncensored, and uncut, until then.

• MBA
• JD
• Head of HR

Chicks who SHOULD know better, have chickenhead mentalities when it comes to men.

Now I'll admit as time went on, the level of discourse and the presumed level of education of the women declined. But those early months? whew.

Which brings me to my first point.

A lot of these women, smartly, went into hiding. They stopped calling in. They realized that they were getting exposed. What replaced them, tended to be younger and less formally educated.

A skillful conversationalist can pull these ideas, these beliefs out of a woman.

How are we doing this now?

Recently our brother in DC, StuntOne, posed a query involving 2/3 DC chicks. 42 year old that wants to be an actor, and a 51 year old looking for an Alpha Male and a guy used to "boss girl energy".

These chicks told on themselves.

How are we uncovering women with these destructive mindsets in a face-to-face setting?

What kinds of questions are we asking?
What sorts of comments are we making, and taking note of reaction?
What sort of small actions is she taking that we can safely assume, she's for the streets?

tell tale signs that you see at face value imo.

Chic usually says anything involving:

"im getting to the bag"

"men fear strong women"

"my time"

"my worth"

"press me"

"boss girl"

"boss bytch"

"spoil me"

"i hate texting"

"do you travel?"

 

[Ahadi]

tell tale signs that you see at face value imo.

Chic usually says anything involving:

"im getting to the bag"

"men fear strong women"

"my time"

"my worth"

"press me"

"boss girl"

"boss bytch"

"spoil me"

"i hate texting"

"do you travel?"

“Princess treatment”

“The table”

 

[MikelArteta]

Its that time again. Going to uganda, rwanda and kenya.

Bout to open up tinder gold in ten days and start setting things in motion

 

[Sleepy Floyd]

These females wild. Be careful about her male "friends"

There's this dude and this chick that I know. Long story short, they were fukk buddies for a long time. They were coworkers. They used to go on trips together and everything. She wanted a relationship but he didn't. At one point she was crying because he didn't want to make her his girlfriend.

Eventually she got a boyfriend and she's always posting her boyfriend on her socials. She recently posted an IG story dedicated to her "best friend" who is the former FWB. It's an older pic of her and the FWB at the beach. Talking about "get yourself a friend that makes you this happy I love you [friend's name]"

And what's crazy is she still got pics with the FWB on her IG from before she met her boyfriend.

 

[skyrunner1]

tell tale signs that you see at face value imo.

Chic usually says anything involving:

"im getting to the bag"

"men fear strong women"

"my time"

"my worth"

"press me"

"boss girl"

"boss bytch"

"spoil me"

"i hate texting"

"do you travel?"

If we are talking about words or terms in conversation, referencing @WIA20XX original questions. Especially in the mid 20s age bracket I have to come with the inception level type questions to get some type of authentic answers, due to the virality of dating topics nowadays. Definitely think most have some idea how to give a baseline answer. Like anything even a terrible plan and experience is good enough to get the job done with some course correction

I was even surprised by my reaction talking to a women and she dropped that whole "Im a goddess" yada yada bs on me, I checked out mentally soo fast. I hear any of the "soft life", "working on myself" or any of the typical memes found on social media basically tells me you take your cues from there and Im gonna have to try to combat that way of thinking the whole way thru. People I know who are authentic about that stuff dont even have to mention it, their being speaks for them, wearing it like the latest fashion, smfh.. I just cant deal..

 

[re'up]

That kind of language is near ubiquitous, in my observation. Across racial, class, all socioeconomic lines,

Don't have the heart or desire to tell this whole story, but awhile back, a friend of my family, who is fairly prestigious, tried to set me up with a woman he met. Long story short, is he said she was sober and new to the city, high paying job, went to Brown or whatever and good family from East Coast. I said, sure, I'll call her, and just give her a friend in the city, a contact.

We missed meeting up a few times, and like a month later I got a series of texts at like 8:07 AM

"I'm a prize"

"you are showing me low effort"

"I'm tired of people who haven't done work on themselves"

it was really funny, because she has never even seen me, this is all off my Dad's homie talking me up. It was also sad, because living like that, can't be fun, all that negative energy at 8:00 AM. I didn't want to tell her she sounded like an unhinged, desperate loser.

 

[skyrunner1]

That kind of language is near ubiquitous, in my observation. Across racial, class, all socioeconomic lines,

Don't have the heart or desire to tell this whole story, but awhile back, a friend of my family, who is fairly prestigious, tried to set me up with a woman he met. Long story short, is he said she was sober and new to the city, high paying job, went to Brown or whatever and good family from East Coast. I said, sure, I'll call her, and just give her a friend in the city, a contact.

We missed meeting up a few times, and like a month later I got a series of texts at like 8:07 AM

"I'm a prize"

"you are showing me low effort"

"I'm tired of people who haven't done work on themselves"

it was really funny, because she has never even seen me, this is all off my Dad's homie talking me up. It was also sad, because living like that, can't be fun, all that negative energy at 8:00 AM. I didn't want to tell her she sounded like an unhinged, desperate loser.

 

[DJSmooth]

I'd say right now the game REQUIRES a hybrid approach.

Before you could just eat off of cold approach. As one ages out of the clubs, he needs Social Circle.
A lot of young dudes today are 100% IG dm's and Tinder. That's a recipe for mental disaster for most dudes.

1. Cold Approach is still #1
2. Warm Approach - i.e. Social Circle - you need to start meeting your friend's friends, your co-worker's friends, you church member friends, etc
3. Social Media Game - You don't need to show riches, but someone should look at your page, and be like - Okay, I'm trying to hang with you. So maybe you're having a good time at the BBQ.
4. Dating Apps - Again, you want to meet people OUTSIDE of your circles, but bring them INTO your circle. Tinder and such are complements, not the main meal.

Passport - I used to tell cats to travel, diff cities in the States, Europe, Lat Am, Asia, Africa, etc - but that entire idea of a black man seeing the world has been polluted by bad actors. A stylish brother in Sweden pulls broads - but the typical cat getting into passport game wants to pay hookers in DR.

But underneath all of this action,
1) You need a firm mental/emotional/spiritual base. Cause it's not as hard as guys think to run through broads. It's just not as satisfying when you're all messed up. Lotta dudes can't operate their daily lives without female in it. I don't know if cats need therapy, drugs, religion, meditation, but all the bs inside is what stops guys. Deep seated self image issues stops most guys from approaching strangers.

2) Work Out. - A good attitude, having a flat belly, and going out a lot - most guys would have more baddies than they could handle. No game required. (Those chicks would work him on the front end and back end, but he'd have lots...). If you want to get into college athlete shape, good on you. Pro Athlete cool. Pro Body Builder? You doing way too much.

3) Stack Your Bread Intelligently - As someone that's been making good money, but has to do 60-100 hours - that's not the move. Maximize your $ per hour, and then figure out how to make $ without the hours. Time for money is not the move.

4) Hygiene, Grooming, Styling is standard. You can label whore yourself out, you can Classic Man, white t-shirt and a gold chain - getting your outfit right when your body is on point is a trip to the mall and a few 100 bucks. You can be "fresh to def" in an afternoon.

 

[Sleepy Floyd]

I'd say right now the game REQUIRES a hybrid approach.

Before you could just eat off of cold approach. As one ages out of the clubs, he needs Social Circle.
A lot of young dudes today are 100% IG dm's and Tinder. That's a recipe for mental disaster for most dudes.

1. Cold Approach is still #1
2. Warm Approach - i.e. Social Circle - you need to start meeting your friend's friends, your co-worker's friends, you church member friends, etc
3. Social Media Game - You don't need to show riches, but someone should look at your page, and be like - Okay, I'm trying to hang with you. So maybe you're having a good time at the BBQ.
4. Dating Apps - Again, you want to meet people OUTSIDE of your circles, but bring them INTO your circle. Tinder and such are complements, not the main meal.

Passport - I used to tell cats to travel, diff cities in the States, Europe, Lat Am, Asia, Africa, etc - but that entire idea of a black man seeing the world has been polluted by bad actors. A stylish brother in Sweden pulls broads - but the typical cat getting into passport game wants to pay hookers in DR.

But underneath all of this action,
1) You need a firm mental/emotional/spiritual base. Cause it's not as hard as guys think to run through broads. It's just not as satisfying when you're all messed up. Lotta dudes can't operate their daily lives without female in it. I don't know if cats need therapy, drugs, religion, meditation, but all the bs inside is what stops guys. Deep seated self image issues stops most guys from approaching strangers.

2) Work Out. - A good attitude, having a flat belly, and going out a lot - most guys would have more baddies than they could handle. No game required. (Those chicks would work him on the front end and back end, but he'd have lots...). If you want to get into college athlete shape, good on you. Pro Athlete cool. Pro Body Builder? You doing way too much.

3) Stack Your Bread Intelligently - As someone that's been making good money, but has to do 60-100 hours - that's not the move. Maximize your $ per hour, and then figure out how to make $ without the hours. Time for money is not the move.

4) Hygiene, Grooming, Styling is standard. You can label whore yourself out, you can Classic Man, white t-shirt and a gold chain - getting your outfit right when your body is on point is a trip to the mall and a few 100 bucks. You can be "fresh to def" in an afternoon.

I'm not sure how I feel about Social Circle anymore. It's tricky because that means she's already been physically or emotionally involved with someone else in your social circle. It can get messy

 

[360dagod]

I'm not sure how I feel about Social Circle anymore. It's tricky because that means she's already been physically or emotionally involved with someone else in your social circle. It can get messy

To break it down a Lil further..

There is social circle and social radius..

Which dosent necessarily have to be someone within your IMMEDIATE social circle, but someone you see at dunkin donuts or Starbucks everyday etc..

Yeah I understand where you coming from with social circle...

I seen it growing up and even now at my job....

 

[re'up]

Social circle can mean many things, but examples

One of my boys intro'd me to his sister in law

Girls my homies meet (i often end up maintaining better/any long term ties, they say I stole "their girls)

Women you are friends with, you meet their friends

The above story when my Dad's homie, and 70 something years old tried to set me up with someone he met at a fundraiser or something

Girls my homie dated, I met their sisters, maintained those relationships after

Girls my homies know, end up sliding with me, that one can get messier, when people feel possessive, have to know how to move.