Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[WIA20XX]

do y’all have any cues when going out alone to not look like a weirdo

1. Dress for the venue.
   
   1. If you've never been to a spot - pick a basic uniform. nice shoes, dark jeans, shirt with no logos.
   2. Once you get used to a spot - be it a Flat Bill Cap and J's spot, or a we ain't letting YOU PEOPLE in - dress 10-20% better than the next man.
2. Grab you a Club Soda and Lime (tip your bartender).
   1. Don't sip NONE OF THAT MUG. It's a prop. Makes you look like your drinking.
   2. If/When You drank some alcohol - get it later when there's a line
      1. Why wait for the line? - so you can talk to other folks waiting in the line. It's not supposed to be efficient, you're socializing. If you just wanted to get drunk, could spent $3 on some Steel Reserve at the corner store.
3. Converse with Staff
   
   1. The person taking the cover charge, coat check, bouncer, bartender, waitress, shot girl, liquor promotions. You want to find out where ELSE they work, and what that crowd is like. Also ask them who's the promoter...
   2. If you can meet the promoter or the dj - figure out where else they promote/spin - and go to that spot (and say what's up to them there)
4. Get the lay of the land
   
   1. Dance floor, bar area, smoking area, lounge, restroom, VIP. Etc.
   2. If something negative pops off, you want to know how to get out.
   3. If something POSITIVE pops off, you will want to know how to get cozy for a second and then how to leave.
5. When the hits come on, SING ALONG. (or rap along, whatever the case may be)
   1. If they really jamming, cut a damn rug yourself. Be the old head like me rapping along with Lil Keke and doing the Southside. Feeling it, adds to your mental state and everyone else's.

In terms of hollering at females at bars/clubs, I could write a book (and I am) - but most females come in groups of 2s, 3's, and more. Sometimes they bring a dude with them.

• 2 girls - you don't need a wing man, you just need to be interesting and entertaining. There are a lot of subtle techniques about dealing with 2 chicks, but sold not told.
• 3 girls - it's easier than 2 girls most of the time. 3 chicks usually give you enough to work with.
• 4+ girls - When it's 4 girls, you can talk to any given one of the, the other 3 stay occupied. Still, talking to all of them usually works better in my experience
• Dude in the mix - brother/family member, gay friend, one of the chick's boyfriends, or a dude who's not dating any of them but wants to (i.e. resident hater) - Talk to ol boy FIRST. It be the most mild mannered dudes that wanna flex. If it's a few dudes, chances are they're couples/family.

If you see a girl by herself, and you're in America, step up, say your little funny bit or whatever, get you a laugh in but

• ASK HER WHERE HER FRIENDS ARE.
• Go and find them, and then Meet the friends ASAP - Friends are the biggest blockers, and you need to defuse them really before you put in any work with the chick you're interested in.

Remember Girls rarely go out to spots on the solo, at least bars and night clubs. Too much stuff pops off for a chick to be on the solo. She might be momentarily by herself, but it's not the norm in America for a chick to just be showing up to spot.

Outside of America? Chances are good if she's alone and you're a tourist then she's a pro. I neither assume, nor judge, just be aware. Cause a fine broad giving choosing signals but "don't speaka da English" is most definitely advertising.

Now if you're in that senior class, and it's a grown up event - art gallery, restaurant opening, poetry reading, cooking class, salsa night, etc - and she's 30+ - she might be there solo. In any event, do the song and dance of asking about her friends.

The first few weeks you go out - the real goal is to get used to lights, smoke, darkness, drunk people etc. And then the next thing is actually enjoy being out, not depending on meeting chicks. There's something special about hearing good music from loud speakers. A lot of songs entirely change their character at "high volume".

If you have fun in the environment, other people see you having fun, they too will have fun. And it's just that much easier for folks to talk to you, approach you etc. And if you're in a good social mood, it's easier for you to share the love. When you're vibing and the crowd is vibing, you don't need MUCH of a game plan. You do need one, but it's not super calculated like some evil genius plotting to take over the world.

Now in terms of what to really say to a group of random strangers - that's something that you need to practice in low stakes environments. Not because you're gonna say the same thing, but it's just not a normal thing that people do in 2023. Not like it was in the 90's early 00's. Randomly making comments at the gym or at the grocery store, or to people you don't know at work/school - that's how you get used to talking to strangers. And I don't mean staff, I mean people just like yourself.

I don't want to give you a script, but be able to hold a basic conversation (see paragraph above)

• Don't ask for names at first
• Where they from (be it state/country/side of town)
• What are they doing tonight? (Birthday? Happy Hour Crew? Just robbed a D-boy on the Eastside and spending the proceeds?)
• Who they know at the Venue?
• Have you been to this other venue? (that you learned from the bartender/promoter/dj)
• Generic stuff

Answering questions

• Don't ask a question that you can't answer
• Where you live
• What you do
• Where you went to school
• Where you were born
• Where YOUR friends are - "Dat boy Rollo said he was playing Call of Duty tonight, but I had to get away from screens."

Etc.

There's a ton more to it than that, but in terms of what to say, what to talk bout - food, music, relationships/love and then sex. People tend to have strong opinions on trivial things. So that's what you want, get something with a little heat, and then push the convo into something better than the topic.

But overall the guy that's dressed some what normally, talking to staff, talking to strangers, sipping on something, enjoying himself = not a weirdo. Social normal guy.

Dudes holding the wall, bottle of beer up by they chest, whispering to each other, staring broads down - that's weird, that's anti-social.

 

[Panther]

Wear AirPods so you feel less awkward

As someone who always has his in ive been trying to actively wear them less in social settings.

Previously ive been told they make me look unapproachable

 

[Sleepy Floyd]

Was going to meet this Filipino chick this Friday in my hood, but my gut is telling me to bush.

Matched with her on Tinder last Sunday.

The chat has been pedestrian so far, she was talking a big game about how she was "an experience like no other"

so I rolled the dice and gave her my number earlier today. Told her to text me.

She didn't even acknowledge that when she replied. but asked what I had planned for tomorrow. I told her and still no reply.

I can already see an evening of trying to force conversation on the cards. I had another invite with a chick I already see. May take that up instead as I know she's a lot of fun.

Are you having conversations in person? If not don't bother.

 

[africngiant]

1. Dress for the venue.
   
   1. If you've never been to a spot - pick a basic uniform. nice shoes, dark jeans, shirt with no logos.
   2. Once you get used to a spot - be it a Flat Bill Cap and J's spot, or a we ain't letting YOU PEOPLE in - dress 10-20% better than the next man.
2. Grab you a Club Soda and Lime(tip your bartender).
   1. Don't sip NONE OF THAT MUG. It's a prop. Makes you look like your drinking.
   2. If/When You drank some alcohol - get it later when there's a line
      1. Why wait for the line? - so you can talk to other folks waiting in the line. It's not supposed to be efficient, you're socializing. If you just wanted to get drunk, could spent $3 on some Steel Reserve at the corner store.
3. Converse with Staff
   
   1. The person taking the cover charge, coat check, bouncer, bartender, waitress, shot girl, liquor promotions. You want to find out where ELSE they work, and what that crowd is like. Also ask them who's the promoter...
   2. If you can meet the promoter or the dj - figure out where else they promote/spin - and go to that spot (and say what's up to them there)
4. Get the lay of the land
   
   1. Dance floor, bar area, smoking area, lounge, restroom, VIP. Etc.
   2. If something negative pops off, you want to know how to get out.
   3. If something POSITIVE pops off, you will want to know how to get cozy for a second and then how to leave.
5. When the hits come on, SING ALONG. (or rap along, whatever the case may be)
   1. If they really jamming, cut a damn rug yourself. Be the old head like me rapping along with Lil Keke and doing the Southside. Feeling it, adds to your mental state and everyone else's.

In terms of hollering at females at bars/clubs, I could write a book (and I am) - but most females come in groups of 2s, 3's, and more. Sometimes they bring a dude with them.

• 2 girls - you don't need a wing man, you just need to be interesting and entertaining. There are a lot of subtle techniques about dealing with 2 chicks, but sold not told.
• 3 girls - it's easier than 2 girls most of the time. 3 chicks usually give you enough to work with.
• 4+ girls - When it's 4 girls, you can talk to any given one of the, the other 3 stay occupied. Still, talking to all of them usually works better in my experience
• Dude in the mix - brother/family member, gay friend, one of the chick's boyfriends, or a dude who's not dating any of them but wants to (i.e. resident hater) - Talk to ol boy FIRST. It be the most mild mannered dudes that wanna flex. If it's a few dudes, chances are they're couples/family.

If you see a girl by herself, and you're in America, step up, say your little funny bit or whatever, get you a laugh in but

• ASK HER WHERE HER FRIENDS ARE.
• Go and find them, and then Meet the friends ASAP - Friends are the biggest blockers, and you need to defuse them really before you put in any work with the chick you're interested in.

Remember Girls rarely go out to spots on the solo, at least bars and night clubs. Too much stuff pops off for a chick to be on the solo. She might be momentarily by herself, but it's not the norm in America for a chick to just be showing up to spot.

Outside of America? Chances are good if she's alone and you're a tourist then she's a pro. I neither assume, nor judge, just be aware. Cause a fine broad giving choosing signals but "don't speaka da English" is most definitely advertising.

Now if you're in that senior class, and it's a grown up event - art gallery, restaurant opening, poetry reading, cooking class, salsa night, etc - and she's 30+ - she might be there solo. In any event, do the song and dance of asking about her friends.

The first few weeks you go out - the real goal is to get used to lights, smoke, darkness, drunk people etc. And then the next thing is actually enjoy being out, not depending on meeting chicks. There's something special about hearing good music from loud speakers. A lot of songs entirely change their character at "high volume".

If you have fun in the environment, other people see you having fun, they too will have fun. And it's just that much easier for folks to talk to you, approach you etc. And if you're in a good social mood, it's easier for you to share the love. When you're vibing and the crowd is vibing, you don't need MUCH of a game plan. You do need one, but it's not super calculated like some evil genius plotting to take over the world.

Now in terms of what to really say to a group of random strangers - that's something that you need to practice in low stakes environments. Not because you're gonna say the same thing, but it's just not a normal thing that people do in 2023. Not like it was in the 90's early 00's. Randomly making comments at the gym or at the grocery store, or to people you don't know at work/school - that's how you get used to talking to strangers. And I don't mean staff, I mean people just like yourself.

I don't want to give you a script, but be able to hold a basic conversation (see paragraph above)

• Don't ask for names at first
• Where they from (be it state/country/side of town)
• What are they doing tonight? (Birthday? Happy Hour Crew? Just robbed a D-boy on the Eastside and spending the proceeds?)
• Who they know at the Venue?
• Have you been to this other venue? (that you learned from the bartender/promoter/dj)
• Generic stuff

Answering questions

• Don't ask a question that you can't answer
• Where you live
• What you do
• Where you went to school
• Where you were born
• Where YOUR friends are - "Dat boy Rollo said he was playing Call of Duty tonight, but I had to get away from screens."

Etc.

There's a ton more to it than that, but in terms of what to say, what to talk bout - food, music, relationships/love and then sex. People tend to have strong opinions on trivial things. So that's what you want, get something with a little heat, and then push the convo into something better than the topic.

But overall the guy that's dressed some what normally, talking to staff, talking to strangers, sipping on something, enjoying himself = not a weirdo. Social normal guy.

Dudes holding the wall, bottle of beer up by they chest, whispering to each other, staring broads down - that's weird, that's anti-social.

i’ll read later but i wanted to learn more about a black girl named alexia,

she’s brown skinned and they told me she mainly has a track record of messing with white dudes smh. i wanted them to put a word out for me since i was eyeing her throughout the night. im like 9 cups into the jungle juice about to call a lfyt home. the wench shyt is real


fukk it

 

[LiveFromLondon]

No

 

[Balla]

i’ll read later but i wanted to learn more about a black girl named alexia,

she’s brown skinned and they told me she mainly has a track record of messing with white dudes smh. i wanted them to put a word out for me since i was eyeing her throughout the night. im like 9 cups into the jungle juice about to call a lfyt home. the wench shyt is real


fukk it

Avoid wenches, they not good for you breh. Seriously.

 

[tyfireman15]

i’ll read later but i wanted to learn more about a black girl named alexia,

she’s brown skinned and they told me she mainly has a track record of messing with white dudes smh. i wanted them to put a word out for me since i was eyeing her throughout the night. im like 9 cups into the jungle juice about to call a lfyt home. the wench shyt is real


fukk it

If she about that pink life leave it alone. You will be hurting yourself in the long run

 

[africngiant]

If she about that pink life leave it alone. You will be hurting yourself in the long run

yeah forget her fr but i enjoyed my time

 

[re'up]

Dudes holding the wall, bottle of beer up by they chest, whispering to each other, staring broads down - that's weird, that's anti-social.

your writeups on these subjects are to be admired. I wanted to point to this also, but you summed up perfectly. There's so many variations of this too, many friends of mine fall into a category of just like yelling at each other and never connecting with the women at all, because they don't have those conversational skills, to move past, what you described as "low stakes convo". I admittedly don't engage much in that, and rely on my looks, but there's no real better way than "low stakes convo" to meet people. I guess 'where is your accent from" qualifies, but after that I'm moving rapidly into a better conversation.

@WIA20XX

 

[NoirDynosaur]

1. Dress for the venue.
   
   1. If you've never been to a spot - pick a basic uniform. nice shoes, dark jeans, shirt with no logos.
   2. Once you get used to a spot - be it a Flat Bill Cap and J's spot, or a we ain't letting YOU PEOPLE in - dress 10-20% better than the next man.
2. Grab you a Club Soda and Lime(tip your bartender).
   1. Don't sip NONE OF THAT MUG. It's a prop. Makes you look like your drinking.
   2. If/When You drank some alcohol - get it later when there's a line
      1. Why wait for the line? - so you can talk to other folks waiting in the line. It's not supposed to be efficient, you're socializing. If you just wanted to get drunk, could spent $3 on some Steel Reserve at the corner store.
3. Converse with Staff
   
   1. The person taking the cover charge, coat check, bouncer, bartender, waitress, shot girl, liquor promotions. You want to find out where ELSE they work, and what that crowd is like. Also ask them who's the promoter...
   2. If you can meet the promoter or the dj - figure out where else they promote/spin - and go to that spot (and say what's up to them there)
4. Get the lay of the land
   
   1. Dance floor, bar area, smoking area, lounge, restroom, VIP. Etc.
   2. If something negative pops off, you want to know how to get out.
   3. If something POSITIVE pops off, you will want to know how to get cozy for a second and then how to leave.
5. When the hits come on, SING ALONG. (or rap along, whatever the case may be)
   1. If they really jamming, cut a damn rug yourself. Be the old head like me rapping along with Lil Keke and doing the Southside. Feeling it, adds to your mental state and everyone else's.

In terms of hollering at females at bars/clubs, I could write a book (and I am) - but most females come in groups of 2s, 3's, and more. Sometimes they bring a dude with them.

• 2 girls - you don't need a wing man, you just need to be interesting and entertaining. There are a lot of subtle techniques about dealing with 2 chicks, but sold not told.
• 3 girls - it's easier than 2 girls most of the time. 3 chicks usually give you enough to work with.
• 4+ girls - When it's 4 girls, you can talk to any given one of the, the other 3 stay occupied. Still, talking to all of them usually works better in my experience
• Dude in the mix - brother/family member, gay friend, one of the chick's boyfriends, or a dude who's not dating any of them but wants to (i.e. resident hater) - Talk to ol boy FIRST. It be the most mild mannered dudes that wanna flex. If it's a few dudes, chances are they're couples/family.

If you see a girl by herself, and you're in America, step up, say your little funny bit or whatever, get you a laugh in but

• ASK HER WHERE HER FRIENDS ARE.
• Go and find them, and then Meet the friends ASAP - Friends are the biggest blockers, and you need to defuse them really before you put in any work with the chick you're interested in.

Remember Girls rarely go out to spots on the solo, at least bars and night clubs. Too much stuff pops off for a chick to be on the solo. She might be momentarily by herself, but it's not the norm in America for a chick to just be showing up to spot.

Outside of America? Chances are good if she's alone and you're a tourist then she's a pro. I neither assume, nor judge, just be aware. Cause a fine broad giving choosing signals but "don't speaka da English" is most definitely advertising.

Now if you're in that senior class, and it's a grown up event - art gallery, restaurant opening, poetry reading, cooking class, salsa night, etc - and she's 30+ - she might be there solo. In any event, do the song and dance of asking about her friends.

The first few weeks you go out - the real goal is to get used to lights, smoke, darkness, drunk people etc. And then the next thing is actually enjoy being out, not depending on meeting chicks. There's something special about hearing good music from loud speakers. A lot of songs entirely change their character at "high volume".

If you have fun in the environment, other people see you having fun, they too will have fun. And it's just that much easier for folks to talk to you, approach you etc. And if you're in a good social mood, it's easier for you to share the love. When you're vibing and the crowd is vibing, you don't need MUCH of a game plan. You do need one, but it's not super calculated like some evil genius plotting to take over the world.

Now in terms of what to really say to a group of random strangers - that's something that you need to practice in low stakes environments. Not because you're gonna say the same thing, but it's just not a normal thing that people do in 2023. Not like it was in the 90's early 00's. Randomly making comments at the gym or at the grocery store, or to people you don't know at work/school - that's how you get used to talking to strangers. And I don't mean staff, I mean people just like yourself.

I don't want to give you a script, but be able to hold a basic conversation (see paragraph above)

• Don't ask for names at first
• Where they from (be it state/country/side of town)
• What are they doing tonight? (Birthday? Happy Hour Crew? Just robbed a D-boy on the Eastside and spending the proceeds?)
• Who they know at the Venue?
• Have you been to this other venue? (that you learned from the bartender/promoter/dj)
• Generic stuff

Answering questions

• Don't ask a question that you can't answer
• Where you live
• What you do
• Where you went to school
• Where you were born
• Where YOUR friends are - "Dat boy Rollo said he was playing Call of Duty tonight, but I had to get away from screens."

Etc.

There's a ton more to it than that, but in terms of what to say, what to talk bout - food, music, relationships/love and then sex. People tend to have strong opinions on trivial things. So that's what you want, get something with a little heat, and then push the convo into something better than the topic.

But overall the guy that's dressed some what normally, talking to staff, talking to strangers, sipping on something, enjoying himself = not a weirdo. Social normal guy.

Dudes holding the wall, bottle of beer up by they chest, whispering to each other, staring broads down - that's weird, that's anti-social.

+Rep when I get the chance

Humor is a cheat code. If you can make a girl laugh, you can damn well make her gag

All jokes aside, having confident body language and being present puts you in the moment

 

[CW_1991]

Got a serious question for y'all. I'm a little hesitant but maybe y'all can give me your thoughts.

So on Facebook I'm in this black nerd kind of group where people talk about nerdy type shyt and this one chick messaged me in my messenger and got to talking with me about myself and what she does and what not, eventually spoke on the phone, and she travels for work as some sort of interior designer/decorator or something for Airbnb properties or something. Anyway, she's in Atlanta and I'm somewhere near Savannah and she now wants to kind of come and chill in person rather than talking on the phone and stuff. Before she has to leave again. Moving pretty fast and very unusual to me, but I mean who knows? What do y'all think? Based off her Facebook she's pretty cute. Ethiopian chick. 28, no kids, into anime shyt like that.

she says she's going to use her brother's car or something to come see me, and again it's like 3 hours+ away or something. So if you were to drive that distance surely it's not some kind of underhanded tactic going on I would think. But who knows. What do y'all think.

She basically said she just wants to chill and vibe and maybe watch some TV or something before she has to leave back to the next state or whatever she got to do. Basically sound like maybe she wants some dikk

Edit:

She's asking for my address, and I wasn't going to give it to her until she gave me her personal cell, but she says that she normally uses IG and Facebook for communicating because her phone is her work phone with a bunch of clients and things of that nature...

Non work related calls get forwarded she says.


Ended up giving her the address to a gas station near my spot and not my spot exactly. Just in case. If she's trying to pull up I'll meet her there and peep out the vibe. If she even really is going to come.

 

[The ADD]

Got a serious question for y'all. I'm a little hesitant but maybe y'all can give me your thoughts.

So on Facebook I'm in this black nerd kind of group where people talk about nerdy type shyt and this one chick messaged me in my messenger and got to talking with me about myself and what she does and what not, eventually spoke on the phone, and she travels for work as some sort of interior designer/decorator or something for Airbnb properties or something. Anyway, she's in Atlanta and I'm somewhere near Savannah and she now wants to kind of come and chill in person rather than talking on the phone and stuff. Before she has to leave again. Moving pretty fast and very unusual to me, but I mean who knows? What do y'all think? Based off her Facebook she's pretty cute. Ethiopian chick. 28, no kids, into anime shyt like that.

she says she's going to use her brother's car or something to come see me, and again it's like 3 hours+ away or something. So if you were to drive that distance surely it's not some kind of underhanded tactic going on I would think. But who knows. What do y'all think.

She basically said she just wants to chill and vibe and maybe watch some TV or something before she has to leave back to the next state or whatever she got to do. Basically sound like maybe she wants some dikk

Edit:

She's asking for my address, and I wasn't going to give it to her until she gave me her personal cell, but she says that she normally uses IG and Facebook for communicating because her phone is her work phone with a bunch of clients and things of that nature...

Non work related calls get forwarded she says.


Ended up giving her the address to a gas station near my spot and not my spot exactly. Just in case. If she's trying to pull up I'll meet her there and peep out the vibe. If she even really is going to come.

Sketch

 

[CW_1991]

Sketch

It really is. I went on to her main Facebook page and went down the timeline. A lot of activity and pictures and things that are pretty consistent with the kind of female I perceived her to be. Nerdy square type chick. But the back of my mind tells me to just be extra cautious.

I wasn't born yesterday.

Trying to video chat with her or have her send me a snap or something of her at this very moment. Just to put me at ease

 

[The ADD]

It really is. I went on to her main Facebook page and went down the timeline. A lot of activity and pictures and things that are pretty consistent with the kind of female I perceived her to be. Nerdy square type chick. But the back of my mind tells me to just be extra cautious.

I wasn't born yesterday.

Trying to video chat with her or have her send me a snap or something of her at this very moment. Just to put me at ease

28 with a job but no car and driving 3 hours for a hang out…….

 

[Ahadi]

It really is. I went on to her main Facebook page and went down the timeline. A lot of activity and pictures and things that are pretty consistent with the kind of female I perceived her to be. Nerdy square type chick. But the back of my mind tells me to just be extra cautious.

I wasn't born yesterday.

Trying to video chat with her or have her send me a snap or something of her at this very moment. Just to put me at ease

Moving too fast.