Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[re'up]

The woman feels too much pressure on expensive dates...

A "cheap bullshyt spot" in her eyes gives her a margin for error if she not feeling you..

Expensive dates only happen after you knocked it down and the baseline is established

That's insightful and the vast majority of these women know me more than a Hinge connect or whatever, but for me, the times when it works, are perfect. I see the value in a upscale coffee date, but I also feel like why not just go for the best? Again, cutting the line.

Recently, someone told me, from her perspective, and I know she's right, she was like if you aren't seriously dating, we don't want to go, we don't want to make the effort, we can't post pics, we have to dress up, and I'm like but this is the hardest to get reservation in the city, and you not going otherwise.

A lot just goes to values, contrasting values on what's important. And me projecting my values.I want to do the most rare, expensive, glamorous things, I don't have any desire for anything less. They value different things. Normal is stable. "Cheap bullshyt places" are practical and convenient.

 

[WIA20XX]

When it comes to dates

1) 1 drink at a bar nearby, but "I make really good mojitos" back to my spot.



(If you're really player, have her pay for the first round, and then fill your Grey Goose bottles with bottom shelf plastic jug bottles..)

2) Come meet me downtown at this bar, and we'll walk to the restaurant - This way, you can handle her BS lateness. If she's 5 minutes late, or 1 hour, or flakes - I'm dressed and I'm talking to people at the bar.

3) If the chick wants a proper date - almost always an ethnic restaurant that I have not been to (and she's not been to). But if she's Creole, we don't do Cajun/Creole. If she's Trini, we don't do Indian/Caribbean. Always take a chick to a spot where she's unfamiliar, and ethnics spots (in general) will be cheaper than the type of spots she wants to go to.

Never coffee - that's a rookie mistake at my level. Unforced error, especially if the chick is 21 and up.

If she don't like where I want to go, wants to suggest a new place - no date. (we're not on the same page).

 

[Mirin4rmfar]

Define “girl”

How long y’all been together? Planning on marrying her?

A year, know each other for three. Yes marriage is on the table.

I would dig into her reasoning for why she wants to move back.

• What's waiting on her back there, if anything?
• What is it she's missing?
• If she relocates, will she be satisfied?
• What's really driving her desire to relocate? Does she already have a job lined up there?
• Why did she relocate before?
• Where is it she wants to call home and why?
• What are the chances that you two relocate and then break up a few weeks later?
• Is she considering your best interest as well in what she wants?

DIG for those answers, verify them, and stick with the option that has your best interest in mind.

Her answers is honestly Cornish. Too many black people and wants a more diverse area. She is one of those African . Also she feels unsafe here.


Moving for one of those reasons goes against everything I stand for. I'm starting to realize its a whole lot of what she wants, not what I want.

 

[360dagod]

That's insightful and the vast majority of these women know me more than a Hinge connect or whatever, but for me, the times when it works, are perfect. I see the value in a upscale coffee date, but I also feel like why not just go for the best? Again, cutting the line.

Recently, someone told me, from her perspective, and I know she's right, she was like if you aren't seriously dating, we don't want to go, we don't want to make the effort, we can't post pics, we have to dress up, and I'm like but this is the hardest to get reservation in the city, and you not going otherwise.

A lot just goes to values, contrasting values on what's important. And me projecting my values.I want to do the most rare, expensive, glamorous things, I don't have any desire for anything less. They value different things. Normal is stable. "Cheap bullshyt places" are practical and convenient.

That's your ego talking my boy...

Your customers asking for chicken with hot sauce and you serving fettuccine alfredo...

You have to work in increments and baby steps...

Give them what they want, but plant them seeds in their heads with enough fertilizer that helps your way grow in the mind

 

[360dagod]

A year, know each other for three. Yes marriage is on the table.



Her answers is honestly Cornish. Too many black people and wants a more diverse area. She is one of those African . Also she feels unsafe here.


Moving for one of those reasons goes against everything I stand for. I'm starting to realize its a whole lot of what she wants, not what I want.

I remember when you first mentioned this situation..

You gotta blame yourself for this..

She told you what she wanted and you told her she didn't want it because YOU wanted something else...

The caution sign
The red light
The stop sign
The speed bumps

You literally ignored everything

 

[Ahadi]

Brehs, as private as a person I am, I hate to admit this, but get your socials up lol.

Take photos, edit, make yourself look as good as possible.

This is coming from someone who barely post lol, it does wonders for you. At least post one-two times a month.

 

[skyrunner1]

Sound is kinda off but hilarious none the less.. also interesting how comments find this profound and u can probably find this type of info on first 10 pages of this thread..

 

[NoirDynosaur]

Brehs, as private as a person I am, I hate to admit this, but get your socials up lol.

Take photos, edit, make yourself look as good as possible.

This is coming from someone who barely post lol, it does wonders for you. At least post one-two times a month.

You're just like me I barely post pictures of myself online I look wayyyy better in person lol

But I understand in this digital era we either adapt to the game or be left empty handed

 

[Astroslik]

How would y'all personally handle a chick you met on a dating app, who early on (texting phase) mentions "before going further" that she has 4 kids (wasn't written in main profile). Says she thinks I should be aware.

Age 32, originally from Cali but in the south currently. Decent looking.

My profile states I'm not looking for anything serious or complicated but we still matched.

Do you have kids? Ya’ll really entertaining women that are 30+ with 4 kids?

 

[Ahadi]

You're just like me I barely post pictures of myself online I look wayyyy better in person lol

But I understand in this digital era we either adapt to the game or be left empty handed

Same! & Yup, it’s adapt or die lol

They aren’t trying to hear “you don’t have socials”, they wana see your personal resume.

And tbh, it’s probably the best “dating app”

 

[CW_1991]

Do you have kids? Ya’ll really entertaining women that are 30+ with 4 kids?

None for be. And after I inquired a little bit more, it's all of that on top of living with her parents.




Feels like there's nothing but bad deals out here after a certain point, especially if you're not a top 10% to 20% type of guy.

 

[CW_1991]

The online dating scene is legitimately trash. And as a guy you can't just make a Tinder profile stating that you're not looking for any single mothers and all the other reasonable criteria that any regular man would want (but they can). 99% of these females are ran through with a bunch of kids and emotional baggage looking to be saved.

Putting down your own personal standards (regarding children, weight, etc) is a quick way to get your shyt reported and banned.

 

[The ADD]

Feels like there's nothing but bad deals out here after a certain point, especially if you're not a top 10% to 20% type of guy.

The self esteem of lack there of

Sad

 

[CW_1991]

The self esteem of lack there of

Sad

Not low self-esteem just facts. This stuff has been proven. And I'm not deluded enough to believe I personally fit into that criteria. I'm not some six-figure baller pretty boy.

Just a regular cat with an above average income.

 

[The ADD]

Not low self-esteem just facts. This stuff has been proven. And I'm not deluded enough to believe I personally fit into that criteria. I'm not some six-figure baller pretty boy.

Just a regular cat with an above average income.

Which should serve you well. Ain’t a lot of brehs falling out of trees with above average income.

To say there is nothing but bad deals if you aren’t in the top 10-20% seems doom and gloom but what do I know.