The current legal construct kf marriage is based on archaic concepts that simply do not apply any more in modern times.
We are remixing new shyt to fit in an old square and it just doesnt work, hence why there is a minority success rate. Imo we would be better off accepting the past is the past and move on with new institutions that make sense in our society.
As men we can be with a woman 10 years and love her to death, but because we didnt go to a court house we get shamed. But ask yourself what changes post court house? And if anything why does everything tend to go downhill from there?
IMO marriage needs to he bushed cause as men we dont even get the parental rights we used to have and Legacy is literally the only reason a man got married
On one side, talking to other brehs - older and younger, and of all races - helps you cope because you realize that its just how women are. So to some degree you have to adapt and accept it rather than judge them for it, and in some ways try to train them to be more sensible/well-rounded.
But then on another level, their behavior or traits can truly be maddening , baffling and unacceptable lol...it feels bleak in a way and makes you not wanna even deal with them other than for the occasional hang out or to have sex with them.
And this is where it’s wild because with shorty I went into it just wanting to know her on some human shyt. Yes I’m a man, you a woman but lemme get to know you as a person. From jump she always made mention of my skin and my features while I just wanted to know her mental and personality so I take the L with knowing what I’m getting into but I just thought with the instances where we had substantial convos that we could build on it and have that be the foundation.
The issues that I have with her and even the stupid little shyt she does like trying to see if I remember things critical to the relationship (when’s the day we first started talking etc) seeing if I care, etc, it doesn’t bother me. I don’t want a perfect woman, I can deal with all the bytchiness women do, their behaviors, all that…..what I refuse to deal with is just dealing with someone in spite of the lack of commonalities and just because they’re a good woman. Nah life is more than that to me and if I gotta die alone I will, I came in it alone …like you said the shyt just baffles me
Yeah, to me its pretty offensive to have my love for someone invalidated because i dont wanna rack up debt for one day or go to a court house and sign my life away legally to folks who have nothing to do with what happens in hour house prior to that day (aka our journey that made us love each other)
Speaking of Marriage I always thought it was dope Nia Long said this:
Love is complicated, let’s just start there,” says Nia. “And then you start a marriage, which I’ve never been married. And there’s a reason for that because I don’t know that I need to say ‘I do’ to prove to you that I love you. But also, what does marriage really [mean]… that you own me now and I own you? I don’t get that part.”
She continues: “I understand the religious aspect of marriage. That is beautiful and it’s fantastical and it’s dreamy and it’s every girl’s fantasy to have that moment. But I don’t know that I need that to feel like I’m in a partnership that’s working.”
Does she save money or just spend everything that she makes? I'm going to keep it 100 with you. The amounts she is spending here and there might not sound bad BUT that little spending here and there adds up. If she ain't saving anything, not even putting up a few thousand for a rainy day, you should end it now and move on. People that spend like that live paycheck to paycheck, even if/when they start making more bread. Its a financial mindset.
She has some saved because she went home during the pandemic. Yea she lives paycheck to paycheck, we just got into an argument because she said her Husband should drop 5k to pay for her bbl after she has kids.
She has some saved because she went home during the pandemic. Yea she lives paycheck to paycheck, we just got into an argument because she said her Husband should drop 5k to pay for her bbl after she has kids.
She has some saved because she went home during the pandemic. Yea she lives paycheck to paycheck, we just got into an argument because she said her Husband should drop 5k to pay for her bbl after she has kids.
With banter I can be sarcastic/dry humor or just have random thoughts about life and and sometimes she engages me with the random shyt because it’ll be weird ass questions that make you think. Other times she’ll give generic answers.
Music is pretty much a love language for me I’m kind of musically inclined and can talk about it all day…with her it’s cool we have convos but it’s on to the next topic. I can send a song that I thought was dope, she’ll mainly send songs that are emotionally driven and she’s a woman I get it but I guess that leads into the conversation aspect where she’s big on affection… if it was up to her we’d just be on some baby I love you/no I love you type shyt all day.
She used to send me some really corny lovey dovey tweets early on and I said I’m not gonna lie they too corny for me let’s balance that with just regular human conversations. Then it became cool but a lot of the shyt she sent was things I don’t care about basically the shyt you’d see on Americas Home Funniest Videos/Ridiculousness…I don’t use twitter/tictok/IG like that….I love substance, I’m trying to learn a new language, I like reading, I like art, I like anime (tried to put her on she doesn’t fukk with it other than the romance ones)…..she likes the gym. I work two jobs and she lives in Canada so since we both not in each other’s space, conversation and commonalities are everything for me. It’s just frustrating cuz I feel I’m nitpicking but if this is someone who I’m gonna be with on some forever type shyt idk if she’s the one.
Bro
And that’s the issue I thought she was gonna be a long term journey because how the conversations were early on had me like wow you’re different, you claim you not on social media like other women, you know about Ab Soul and you listen to jazz, okay, okay, you don’t care about men vs women topics…but then…that doesn’t make you long term it just makes you a person with potential until you see all the other qualities. It’s tough cuz when you realize all of this it’s hard to just cut loose, especially if you been in it for a minute.
I’m talkin to yet another chick who left to her devices for a few weeks can get chubby fast.
And the kicker is…these type chicks actually go to the gym…and do ‘classes’ or have trainers…that do everything BUT cardio.
I can’t fukin take it man. These new age trainers got chicks convinced they need to workout like a Ngga. bytch got a whole ass gut doin snatch n pull and deadlifts
I’m talkin to yet another chick who left to her devices for a few weeks can get chubby fast.
And the kicker is…these type chicks actually go to the gym…and do ‘classes’ or have trainers…that do everything BUT cardio.
I can’t fukin take it man. These new age trainers got chicks convinced they need to workout like a Ngga. bytch got a whole ass gut doin snatch n pull and deadlifts
only time long distance makes since is when you are married with kids, and one person takes a job elsewhere with an ROI that makes sense to benefit the family (and the kids are of age where there is a solid enough relationship with both parents where the less time with one isn't too detrimental).
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