Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Black Excellence]

^ Most ppl run into problems in relationships because they think they can change other ppl. A lot of headache would be spared if we all just made our decisions based on what's in front of us and not the potential we see in someone. This "potential" might be real or just wishful thinking, but you don't have multiple lifetimes to gamble on it.

Every time I've run into problems with women it was because I ignored some red flags that I had noticed early on.

Lol……..I’m literally going through this right now, wow that’s wild.

I’m realizing there’s just some fundamental things we don’t have in common but the other side is she’s a dope person, she checks on me, super supportive, extremely loving and encouraging…damn that’s wild you posted this lol smh

 

[Apollo Creed]

Lol……..I’m literally going through this right now, wow that’s wild.

I’m realizing there’s just some fundamental things we don’t have in common but the other side is she’s a dope person, she checks on me, super supportive, extremely loving and encouraging…damn that’s wild you posted this lol smh

the thing is I'd argue fundamentals are a the important thing because that ties into long term. Someone can be a great person but not be right for long term. Lotta women good for short term dating but not long term journeys, and we stick with then until shyt sours vs just enjoying the short term experience lol.

 

[Duke Wy Lin]

Lol……..I’m literally going through this right now, wow that’s wild.

I’m realizing there’s just some fundamental things we don’t have in common but the other side is she’s a dope person, she checks on me, super supportive, extremely loving and encouraging…damn that’s wild you posted this lol smh

What are these fundamentals that you don't agree on, if you don't mind sharing?

 

[Black Excellence]

What are these fundamentals that you don't agree on, if you don't mind sharing?

Kinda long:

Spoiler

Conversation/Banter & Music.

With banter I can be sarcastic/dry humor or just have random thoughts about life and and sometimes she engages me with the random shyt because it’ll be weird ass questions that make you think. Other times she’ll give generic answers.

Music is pretty much a love language for me I’m kind of musically inclined and can talk about it all day…with her it’s cool we have convos but it’s on to the next topic. I can send a song that I thought was dope, she’ll mainly send songs that are emotionally driven and she’s a woman I get it but I guess that leads into the conversation aspect where she’s big on affection… if it was up to her we’d just be on some baby I love you/no I love you type shyt all day.

She used to send me some really corny lovey dovey tweets early on and I said I’m not gonna lie they too corny for me let’s balance that with just regular human conversations. Then it became cool but a lot of the shyt she sent was things I don’t care about basically the shyt you’d see on Americas Home Funniest Videos/Ridiculousness…I don’t use twitter/tictok/IG like that….I love substance, I’m trying to learn a new language, I like reading, I like art, I like anime (tried to put her on she doesn’t fukk with it other than the romance ones)…..she likes the gym. I work two jobs and she lives in Canada so since we both not in each other’s space, conversation and commonalities are everything for me. It’s just frustrating cuz I feel I’m nitpicking but if this is someone who I’m gonna be with on some forever type shyt idk if she’s the one.

the thing is I'd argue fundamentals are a the important thing because that ties into long term. Someone can be a great person but not be right for long term. Lotta women good for short term dating but not long term journeys, and we stick with then until shyt sours vs just enjoying the short term experience lol.

Bro

And that’s the issue I thought she was gonna be a long term journey because how the conversations were early on had me like wow you’re different, you claim you not on social media like other women, you know about Ab Soul and you listen to jazz, okay, okay, you don’t care about men vs women topics…but then…that doesn’t make you long term it just makes you a person with potential until you see all the other qualities. It’s tough cuz when you realize all of this it’s hard to just cut loose, especially if you been in it for a minute.

 

[Apollo Creed]

Kinda long:

Spoiler

Conversation/Banter & Music.

With banter I can be sarcastic/dry humor or just have random thoughts about life and and sometimes she engages me with the random shyt because it’ll be weird ass questions that make you think. Other times she’ll give generic answers.

Music is pretty much a love language for me I’m kind of musically inclined and can talk about it all day…with her it’s cool we have convos but it’s on to the next topic. I can send a song that I thought was dope, she’ll mainly send songs that are emotionally driven and she’s a woman I get it but I guess that leads into the conversation aspect where she’s big on affection… if it was up to her we’d just be on some baby I love you/no I love you type shyt all day.

She used to send me some really corny lovey dovey tweets early on and I said I’m not gonna lie they too corny for me let’s balance that with just regular human conversations. Then it became cool but a lot of the shyt she sent was things I don’t care about basically the shyt you’d see on Americas Home Funniest Videos…I don’t use twitter/tictok/IG like that….I love substance, I’m trying to learn a new language, I like reading, I like anime (tried to put her on she doesn’t fukk with it other than the romance ones). I work two jobs and she lives in Canada so since we both not in each other’s space, conversation and commonalities are everything for me. It’s just frustrating cuz I feel I’m nitpicking but if this is someone who I’m gonna be with on some forever type shyt idk if she’s the one.

Bro

And that’s the issue I thought she was gonna be a long term journey because how the conversations were early on had me like wow you’re different, you claim you not on social media like other women, you know about Ab Soul and you listen to jazz, okay, okay, you don’t care about men vs women topics…but then…that doesn’t make you long term it just makes you a person with potential until you see all the other qualities. It’s tough cuz when you realize all of this it’s hard to just cut loose, especially if you been in it for a minute.

its a 2 fold thing:
1.Modern Women and Men ARE NOT groomed to be husbands and wives in the historical context of the roles.
Which is fine ok we are in modern times
BUT
2.Us not being groomed we hold on to this historic long term planning shyt when we go into shyt with zero plan (hence why situationships last so long lol).

We would be better off as men and women if we just accept the past if never coming back and just take everything one day at a time. Taking things one day at a time allows you to end shyt when it needs to end and learn from the experience vs sticking around for something going nowhere.

 

[Black Excellence]

its a 2 fold thing:
1.Modern Women and Men ARE NOT groomed to be husbands and wives in the historical context of the roles.
Which is fine ok we are in modern times
BUT
2.Us not being groomed we hold on to this historic long term planning shyt when we go into shyt with zero plan (hence why situationships last so long lol).

We would be better off as men and women if we just accept the past if never coming back and just take everything one day at a time. Taking things one day at a time allows you to end shyt when it needs to end and learn from the experience vs sticking around for something going nowhere.

This man spitting facts

Literally just had a convo with shorty (it’s pretty much clipped with me and her now) and one of the things brought up was the energy early on to where it is now.

Things change, time changes, emotions change on a day to day basis…im really gonna adopt this philosophy moving forward at the very least until I find the person that meshes well with me.

Great post man.

 

[Ohene]

Kinda long:

Spoiler

Conversation/Banter & Music.

With banter I can be sarcastic/dry humor or just have random thoughts about life and and sometimes she engages me with the random shyt because it’ll be weird ass questions that make you think. Other times she’ll give generic answers.

Music is pretty much a love language for me I’m kind of musically inclined and can talk about it all day…with her it’s cool we have convos but it’s on to the next topic. I can send a song that I thought was dope, she’ll mainly send songs that are emotionally driven and she’s a woman I get it but I guess that leads into the conversation aspect where she’s big on affection… if it was up to her we’d just be on some baby I love you/no I love you type shyt all day.

She used to send me some really corny lovey dovey tweets early on and I said I’m not gonna lie they too corny for me let’s balance that with just regular human conversations. Then it became cool but a lot of the shyt she sent was things I don’t care about basically the shyt you’d see on Americas Home Funniest Videos/Ridiculousness…I don’t use twitter/tictok/IG like that….I love substance, I’m trying to learn a new language, I like reading, I like art, I like anime (tried to put her on she doesn’t fukk with it other than the romance ones)…..she likes the gym. I work two jobs and she lives in Canada so since we both not in each other’s space, conversation and commonalities are everything for me. It’s just frustrating cuz I feel I’m nitpicking but if this is someone who I’m gonna be with on some forever type shyt idk if she’s the one.

Bro

And that’s the issue I thought she was gonna be a long term journey because how the conversations were early on had me like wow you’re different, you claim you not on social media like other women, you know about Ab Soul and you listen to jazz, okay, okay, you don’t care about men vs women topics…but then…that doesn’t make you long term it just makes you a person with potential until you see all the other qualities. It’s tough cuz when you realize all of this it’s hard to just cut loose, especially if you been in it for a minute.

not saying this in a condescending way but how old are you?

if its one thing i can tell you...for the most part all women are the same.

they may differ in small inconsequential traits - the music they like, where they are from, what they like to eat etc.

but in the things that matter, how they reason, how they deal with conflict/stress, their emotions, how they view relationships and gender roles, what they expect from their boyfriend etc., how egotistical they are, their values etc. ...theres a lot of overlap

 

[Ohene]

^ Most ppl run into problems in relationships because they think they can change other ppl. A lot of headache would be spared if we all just made our decisions based on what's in front of us and not the potential we see in someone. This "potential" might be real or just wishful thinking, but you don't have multiple lifetimes to gamble on it.

Every time I've run into problems with women it was because I ignored some red flags that I had noticed early on.

i agree with this partially, but it depends on how realistic your expectations are

Making decisions strictly based on what you have in front of you ignores one important factor - change. Change is inevitable outside of a few core traits (which too can change). THe person who seems like a great fit now can easily change to no longer be a good fit. Furthermore, what you may want in somebody now can change and no longer align with who your partner is. So making decisions based on who somebody is right now, will always eventually lead you end relationships and move on to new people. IF you dont care to have a life long companion or family (which are pretty overrated it seems) then great. But if you do, it is not sustainable.

For that reason, it is important to expect change, expect to change (or adapt) and to some degree you should also expect to compromise on certain things. However, you should aim to be with somebody who has this same understanding. You have to find somebody who is open-mined, malleable and conscientious as opposed to egotistical and neurotic. People like this will be humble, adaptive and cooperative enough to see their partners respectives and change on their own volition - just off the strength of wanting to learn and be a better person generally. They exist but are very rare. Unfortunately the average person is too entitled and arrogant to do the reflection necessary to grow.

 

[Ohene]

At any stage of life I will always tell yall to go back to the following question:

"What do you want to gain from your dealings with women?"

If you dont care and are down for whatever...just go with the flow, string bytches along until you feel comfortable and see what happens
If you only want to have fun, and dont mind breaking hearts ...sell women a dream to get what you want and deal with whatever repercussions come or dont come as a result
if you want to have fun, but not at the expense of your integrity... then be upfront with the women you date, or at least game and manipulate them in a way where they wont feel used or resentful after - and may even feel like they held the power
if you want a serious relationship, companion and family...learn to put your ego and expectations aside, guide [the right] woman on the importance of her doing so as well. and move accordingly


it's really that simple. but if you want a serious relationship, you cant expect to just "be yourself" and find the right woman for you. I can assure you there is probably a 1% chance of that ever happening. THe differences between men and women ...shyt...any two people on this earth and how women think due to how society treats them (especially nowadays) makes it far too difficult.

Your own sibling, with the exact same genetics can be radically different from you, but you expect a random girl who might have different ethnicity, hometown, genetics, upbringing, environment, social circle, etc to be just like you?

Ask any old person you know who is in a long, happy, successful relationship. The vast majority will tell you how much work, sacrifice, patience, compromise, tongue biting etc that it took to have to adapt to their partner and build their relationship over time. I havent met a single couple who just "clicked" or was able to maintain the "spark" for anything more than a year or two. NEVER

 

[Ohene]

people go their whole lives grinding and striving to obtain and maintain the things that they want in life...

knowledge / education
the good job
the home
the good car
fitness / health
happiness
the social circle
the esteem/recognition
etc.

yet expect to be able to obtain and maintain love/the partner they want with ease? What in life that is actually sustainably good for you, has ever come easy? Tell me one thing?

I swear I dont get some of yall. A good relationship is going to take some level of work, sacrifice and patience to build . There is absolutely no way around it.

I have fukked and chucked enough broads to know that for a fact.

 

[Apollo Creed]

This man spitting facts

Literally just had a convo with shorty (it’s pretty much clipped with me and her now) and one of the things brought up was the energy early on to where it is now.

Things change, time changes, emotions change on a day to day basis…im really gonna adopt this philosophy moving forward at the very least until I find the person that meshes well with me.

Great post man.

Yeah. The issue is we dont view human relationships as learning experiences but more so an ownership/access thing. The person isnt dead, but we dread not having a sense of ownership of their emotions anymore. Ever notice how relationships arent dead when yall argue its dead when yall become indifferent, thats because the emotions isnt present anymore just human bodies lol.

This is why i say men need to learn to be alone and accept it before entering a relationship again. Relationships always end on negatives opposed to accepting something ran its course (because once its course is over we try to force shyt to continue thinking we are fixing things, while making it worst).

I said before the ONLY THING you FIGHT for is when you are MARRIED AND have children involved because it isnt about you its anout the children.

 

[Black Excellence]

not saying this in a condescending way but how old are you?

if its one thing i can tell you...for the most part all women are the same.

they may differ in small inconsequential traits - the music they like, where they are from, what they like to eat etc.

but in the things that matter, how they reason, how they deal with conflict/stress, their emotions, how they view relationships and gender roles, what they expect from their boyfriend etc., how egotistical they are, their values etc. ...theres a lot of overlap

31

As for the bolded, definitely agree. Probably why I been cool being to myself for the longest.

 

[Ohene]

Yeah. The issue is we dont view human relationships as learning experiences but more so an ownership/access thing. The person isnt dead, but we dread not having a sense of ownership of their emotions anymore. Ever notice how relationships arent dead when yall argue its dead when yall become indifferent, thats because the emotions isnt present anymore just human bodies lol.

This is why i say men need to learn to be alone and accept it before entering a relationship again. Relationships always end on negatives opposed to accepting something ran its course (because once its course is over we try to force shyt to continue thinking we are fixing things, while making it worst).

I said before the ONLY THING you FIGHT for is when you are MARRIED AND have children involved because it isnt about you its anout the children.

all facts above. question though...can a couple ever even get to the point of marriage if they dont try to "fight" for the relationship beforehand?

conflict is inevitable...so where is the fine line between resolving conflicts versus holding onto something that ran its course

guess it really depends on the two people. i would say once there is any sortof fear thats causing one not to break up with their partner, they should probably break up with their partner

 

[Ohene]

31

As for the bolded, definitely agree. Probably why I been cool being to myself for the longest.

I'm 31 too breh.

It's a shame to be honest.

On one side, talking to other brehs - older and younger, and of all races - helps you cope because you realize that its just how women are. So to some degree you have to adapt and accept it rather than judge them for it, and in some ways try to train them to be more sensible/well-rounded.

But then on another level, their behavior or traits can truly be maddening , baffling and unacceptable lol...it feels bleak in a way and makes you not wanna even deal with them other than for the occasional hang out or to have sex with them.

 

[Apollo Creed]

all facts above. question though...can a couple ever even get to the point of marriage if they dont try to "fight" for the relationship beforehand?

conflict is inevitable...so where is the fine line between resolving conflicts versus holding onto something that ran its course

guess it really depends on the two people. i would say once there is any sortof fear thats causing one not to break up with their partner, they should probably break up with their partner

This is the issue

The current legal construct kf marriage is based on archaic concepts that simply do not apply any more in modern times.

We are remixing new shyt to fit in an old square and it just doesnt work, hence why there is a minority success rate. Imo we would be better off accepting the past is the past and move on with new institutions that make sense in our society.

As men we can be with a woman 10 years and love her to death, but because we didnt go to a court house we get shamed. But ask yourself what changes post court house? And if anything why does everything tend to go downhill from there?

IMO marriage needs to he bushed cause as men we dont even get the parental rights we used to have and Legacy is literally the only reason a man got married