were you guys always naturally eating from your circumstances, or did you have to develop to have the game you have now?
was there any insecurities for you to overcome or a dark period?
how was the initial immersion of socializing? i feel like i have nothing to talk about.
Naturally eating? Definitely not.
I'm not ashamed of where I came from at all. No type of GF in HS. Nobody I knew in HS was getting women. I didn't know them cats that was.
A few might need some help on a geometry exam or whatever, but thems was not my peeps. Catch your boy at the Science Fair and Comic Book Conventions. I went to the 8th grade dance and Prom, but I was definitely not getting them guts. I didn't find out until after graduation that chicks was feeling me.
That said I was lucky enough to get 2 GF's in College.
1) Engineering Classmate
2) A broad chose me. (Waitress)
Learning about Game* didn't happen until
after college.
Lemme be clear - I'm a square AND PROUD OF IT. Ain't no IZM about me. Possible Penitentiary Probability on some p*ssyCat? Oh hell no. I'm staying on the porch, eff alladat.
And Living off a broad? I don't even like getting birthday gifts. I do not relate to them dudes making that type of cheddar. Never been the type to bleed a chick dry on purpose. (I will waste her baby making years in a forever situationship though - so I'm probably worse when I think about it)
To me,
Real Game is putting chicks on the street and them bringing 100% of the money back to you. The broad is paying you to be in your presence, and she's doing what she need to in order to get it. And unlike the hobosexuals out there - she does so GLADLY, not thinking she found some diamond in the rough and all she need to do is nurse the millionaire money maker out of you.
If I had those type of psychological powers - I'd start a real business and cut the workers in, like real employers do. Cause most folks that are employees work for 2-3 weeks straight before they see a check - and the work they do HAS to be worth at least 3x what they get paid for them to get hired in the first place. They gotta do enough work to pay their own salaries, pay for the equipment, and then pay ME
their salary as my profit.
Did I just say employees are hoes getting Pimped? Yes I did. I don't care how much you're making, the organization has to make 3x from your work - to keep you on. You taking home 125, they're prolly making 500 of your work. Either they're pimping you out to the market, or you're in charge of something 10-100x your salary....
So all my game is LOWERCASE.
Let's get that straight. Don't want PI police in my business at all.
Step #1 - Mindset Change and going out.
To get my #'s up - I had to do 3 things.
- Go where the hoes are
- Open my mouth.
- Do both consistently
Out of these 3, there's a hidden thing I had to do.
I had to change my mindset.
I don't mean my self esteem. I knew from jump, I'm not gonna compete with Basketball dudes, the pretty boys, the meathead football players, the rich dudes, and the dancers. We are not doing the same thing.
That's not low self esteem. That's being okay with myself.
I wasn't self conscious about those things the way these boys are now - cause we didn't have IG. In real life, I'd seen enough normal guys get GFs, get cute GFs at that. Short, Dark skin, light skin, chubby Skinny, Indian, Asian, Arab, Smelly, etc.
That said, Dating 2 chicks made me know in someway - whatever I had naturally, was desirable to at least some girls out there. Every girl? No. Enough cutes ones? Yes.
And looking back on both - they only happened - not because XYZ girl thought I was cute - but because the invisible hand (testosterone) was pushing me into those situations. Got cool with the first GF, and watched my boys bomb when they approached what would be my 2nd GF. That was me unconsciously approaching and making it happen. Unconscious.
And not using my brain, it just happening naturally that was the problem for me.
My 2nd GF was a stunner. I couldn't believe my luck...until I got to know her and her friends. Dating the hottest female at the club, stroking her regular, her treating you well - you still gotta deal with all of her BS. And once I get into a relationship, the face/body/sex is nice - but if this broad try to interrupt me trying to make some money, trying to get to a better place, trying to deal with her lifelong insecurities....
Taking those things into mind
- I'm alright the way I am, I don't need to compare myself to others, much less get in the gym to be a 5'11" human tank
- When it comes to women - Pretty Looks Isn't All - Heptones
I knew that dating was normal, and meeting/dating really attractive women was as normal as dating just a regular cute girl.
A lot of what I thought about pretty women as a class of people - was just pedestalization.
I put people into a higher position, than they needed to be. I feel people as a whole do this with other groups.
Humanizing females is a key component. And not the politically correct way.
Moreover, it's not like my 2nd GF wasn't getting hollered at on the daily.
Competition is generally weak - but if your chick is getting 500 hollers in a week - there will be a cat with skills.
That said,
consistently going out, and approaching - with no special technique or insight - would have most dudes bagging more chicks than they know what to do with.
And by consistent, I don't mean every Friday and Saturday in a packed club, you holding a White Claw standing on the wall, watching other people dance. That type of club environment is too hectic to learn at first. Even if you're a gym monster, got your beards, tattoos, and Hellcat outside - that environment won't reward the rookie.
By consistency - I really mean going out Sunday-Thursday to the quieter spots, opening your yap, talking to multiple broads and lots of people. Week after week, month after month. (Ideally most guys are good to go on the fundmentals in a summer)
Even for accomplished players (100+ Notches) - they want some Hugh Hefner/Dan Bilzerian/Nick Cannon? type lives but it's really their internal issues that stop them from TRYING. Not succeeding, but TRYING.
They're not even trying.
Fixing that fear of trying is the #1 thing you can do to get you #'s up, but also develop your game.
All that said, on The Coli - most of the brehs don't need to intellectualize the stuff.
- They don't need a plan.
- They don't need to think things through.
- Most dudes just spit at broads, and whoever is receptive is receptive.
- They bang her out and keep it moving.
If they get caught up, it is what it is. You can get baby mama drama from a Latina or an MBA. Broads get out of pocket from Denmark to the Dominican Republic.
Me? I don't knock them for that. Once I got off the porch, I learned a ton from regular dudes out there getting it. Street Fighters, Balrogs really. But Balrog can and will knock your ass out.
I don't apologize for being thorough.
Step #2 - Refining your natural gifts
Now, I'm not a tall dude (6'0" on the online profile though, 5'10"-5'11 in real life), and I'm not a muscular dude.
And when I started out, my fashion game was looking like an extra from Cash Rules Everything Around Me video or Sean Sheffey.
At best, at the time I might Banana Republic my game a bit, but not by much.
From going out consistently, and talking to broads - Let my hair grow out cause broads love dudes with a lot of hair for whatever reason.
But mostly I had my smarts and facial expressions - was what got them to light up.
By Smarts?
These hoes wasn't trying to hear about Avogadro's Number at all.
None of them cared that E-Rule's Synopsis had a different version on the promo than it did on the retail release.
Instead of using book smarts and trivia recall (white boy smarts) - I'd actively listen to their BS, think about it, and then call them on it.
Not to debate these hoes though.
And If they would try to get at me, rather than respond verbally, I'd let my face do the talking.
Those are 3 natural advantages that I was bringing to the table - to make a chat with me - way more interesting.
Never been a pretty boy, but after rapping with your boy for a spell, now my ears were cute*.
*When a chick loves you, you're dikk is 2 feet long. And when she's out of love, it's a baby carrot.
Some of this is the beginnings of my game - intentionally listening, saying things that I know are gonna gas her up, and reacting in ways that are also gonna gas her up.
Step #3 - Being systematic.
Off top - I'm going out a lot, I'm stepping up a lot, I'm using my gifts a lot, and I'm making mental notes of what I'm learning and writing stuff down when I had a chance.
Because I'm a school boy through and through, I read more than a few books on the subject of "seduction". And a scientist at heart, I tried most of the stuff out.
Regarding Books
If I was just reading stuff out the manual, it never worked.
If I learned how to DELIVER the stuff - all of it was gold. (You should see my 3's and 7's)
Think about it like this,
Imagine you stole a joke from Corey Holcombe.
You telling that same joke will never be funny as funny as Corey, unless you know how to deliver that joke.
Delivery - tone, pauses, eye contact, your physical touch, your reading the room, your pace, your volume, your timing - that's the ESSENCE of "verbal" game.
Delivery is rarely talked about in the books. And when you watch videos online - these white boys in particular, usually have bad delivery.
There is a timeline to every hookup.
- She gets interested in whatever you're saying/the interaction.
- She gets interested in You, the messenger more than the message.
- She builds some trust* in you as the interaction continues. (*trust you ain't gonna kill her, not trust that you're not a killer)
- Then she starts to warm up for the hookup.
- Then you need to get her into an environment to let nature take its course.
So in trying to get hotter chicks - it was about going out consistently, but then being systematic about every single approach.
So piece by piece - the walk up, the eye contact, the inadvertent touch of the elbow - all that micro stuff - I'm doing it consistently, but I'm also doing it my way, and I'm also learning how to deliver those things properly. Back in the day, they would call this "small chunking". You don't eat the elephant in one bite, but in small chunks.
The practical issue with learning the game piece by piece is that you need a certain amount of volume, but you also need
PATIENCE. I can remember the first time I fumbled my way in taking off a bra - and then getting to the point where a chick didn't notice that I one-hand snapped her joint while we were making out.
How many hook ups, possible wifey's did I miss by being to jerky and sudden?
That took time to get GREAT at. But just being 10% better at each stage - was again more females than I could handle, more sex than I wanted or could deliver...and the back end of that is - there's another GAME being played.
Step #4 - game
After 20-30 chicks, more notches is just ego and biology. If you're banging chicks with the right demographics off top - you probably pumped and dumped (or got dumped by) - plenty of good (enough) wives/women.
However, when you have the fundamentals down, when you start refining your image, when your money comes up, when getting laid on a regular basis is the norm - that's when things actually get hard.
You're getting hoes, but you're not getting what you want out of hoes.
The P's keep their women under control. The females still want the D and are still cooking, cleaning, sucking and whatever. She's pleasant. She's pliable. It's a state of bliss.
But how come I wasn't getting that in my short terms, FB's, FWB's, LTRs?
I thought I had figured it out. If a chick started acting up, I'd drop her from the rotation and get on some new broads.
The more broads I had, the less I cared about any of them.
And me not caring about them, made them care for me even more.
Even P's lose broads. But...he put these broads into SERVICE for him. All their waking hours were his.
Here I'm trying to have a cooperative and 50/50 relationship with a chick (Black, White, Asian, Indian, Persian, Arab, and most definitely Latina, American and Immigrant) - and it's just not working.
I'm giving her D, Date nights, I'm bringing in Dollars, I'm doing what I'm supposed to do - but the honey moon ended 9 months ago. She don't even know now to love me like she did before. New Car Smell is gone.
And that is the real game. I needed a vision that included her, with a role that she could play - other than chick I bang 2-3 times a week, eat food with, and watch movies.
I no longer had all of her working for me, working for us.
- Did I call out her bad behavior? No.
- Did I correct her when she made mistakes? No
- Did I break up with chicks when I needed to? No.
- Did I teach her to do better? No.
- Did I give her tasks to do? No.
- Did I give her a mission? No.
So that was the final step, but should have been the first step.
I was too young and green and "in the matrix" to understand that.
Leadership is the key.
I pretty much have mastered acceptance of loss - cause you need to be cool with failure to even try - but I see a lot of cats that get to the "harem" level - but can't handle the LTR aspects. Some dudes be so afraid of taking an L with a divorce that they're not trying to build real families. (cause at the end of the day, most dudes don't want to be the old dude at the club)
I be doing that tho
