Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[The ADD]

Which works better? Being non chalant and putting in just enough effort OR instant responses (within 5-10 mins), pursuing with a bunch of chit chat (good morning, have a good day, etc) ?

I've been trynna find the right balance. I get girls who I'm not interested in... I barely put in any effort...maybe they just find me very handsome... but the ones I like and pursue I get ghosted... I try to be direct tho-- tellin them I want to see them...

Her: "what you doin this weekend?"
Me: "I'm trynna see you"

she'll heart the comment then I don't hear anything back... I'm like damn...

What's a good balance? remain laidback and aloof while also being upfront about your intentions or what?

You will be best served being upfront. You goofed waiting for her to make the next move.

 

[Ohene]

You will be best served being upfront. You goofed waiting for her to make the next move.

Pretty much stifled all momentum
Watch him try and holla now and get curved lol

 

[Wargames]

You will be bet served being upfront. You goofed have waiting for her to make the next move.

Yeah he’s not taking initiative. That’s at best a mixed signal or even worse he coming off as not knowing what he wants aka wasting her time.

Which works better? Being non chalant and putting in just enough effort OR instant responses (within 5-10 mins), pursuing with a bunch of chit chat (good morning, have a good day, etc) ?

I've been trynna find the right balance. I get girls who I'm not interested in... I barely put in any effort...maybe they just find me very handsome... but the ones I like and pursue I get ghosted... I try to be direct tho-- tellin them I want to see them...

Her: "what you doin this weekend?"
Me: "I'm trynna see you"

she'll heart the comment then I don't hear anything back... I'm like damn...

What's a good balance? remain laidback and aloof while also being upfront about your intentions or what?

Also if you see such a difference between the girls you like to the ones you don’t like. You need to work on your ability to escalate/deescalate attraction. If you’re not escalating to see her you’re deescalating by telling her you got other things to do until you see her, but you can’t wait until you see her again. You should be flirting/complimenting her regardless so you are giving her something to look forward too. You’re really just chatting with her until you two can link again.

Also there are not any rules to “communication” except don’t be boring, whiney, or come off desperate by talking too much. You really just want to stay in touch until you can physically meet again. I’m a bit a stickler but I prefer texting women to talking to them on the phone. It might be a bad habit from app dating, but it’s more convenient. That’s just me though.

Since dates are just a way for a man to have a woman combine the idea of having a good time/fun with being out with you. You really just want to be chatting about fun things you want to do with her in the future to reinforce that in person experience. Even if it’s as simple as her coming over and drinking/smoking with you. Plus mix that with compliments and small talk about common interest. If you already had sex, dirty sex talk, you should be telling her what you going to do to her the next time you bag.

All that “who she is or who you are” and getting to know each other, save that for the actual date or pillow talk. It’s more authentic that way because you can swerve the conversation into different topics in real time and see her reaction to your questions and observations.

Like this current woman I am with loves music like I do, so I am sending her Spotify links, to albums I think she would like. One of the artist from a album I sent is having a concert in a few weeks, so I asked her, for her opinion on the album and when she said she liked it. I then asked if she wanted to catch him live. That’s two days of us texting, and it was focused on setting up a future date, even though I am going to see her before then.

 

[CW_1991]

Does anybody else get their nerves touched or turned off / annoyed when a chick try to catch an attitude because you don't always jump to come see her when she wants you to?

 

[dappadonna]

Does anybody else get their nerves touched or turned off / annoyed when a chick try to catch an attitude because you don't always jump to come see her when she wants you to?

For real though , even though I know I'm missing out on a lay up smash . A man can't just jump and come see you on a whim like that .Especially when we're not in the same city and I'd have to use public transport to come over .

Not gonna lie though , this has happened 3 times with this chick , she's not really catching a major attitude but I feel like next time is gonna be her final time asking so I might have to accept .

 

[#BOTHSIDES]

this gotta be one of the dumbest things ive read in here in a while

what are you expecting her to say after? she hearted the message...tell her when you finna pull up or when yall finna link and set up the rendezvous.

Also in that message i told her what i was gonna do for the weekend... and asked if she wanted to join...then she didnt respond for two weeks...sayin she's dealing with depression

dag why you gotta insult a brotha

You will be best served being upfront. You goofed waiting for her to make the next move.

 

[Ohene]

Also in that message i told her what i was gonna do for the weekend... and asked if she wanted to join...then she didnt respond for two weeks...sayin she's dealing with depression

dag why you gotta insult a brotha

you shoulda said that. why are you saying this now?

 

[Ohene]

For real though , even though I know I'm missing out on a lay up smash . A man can't just jump and come see you on a whim like that .Especially when we're not in the same city and I'd have to use public transport to come over .

Not gonna lie though , this has happened 3 times with this chick , she's not really catching a major attitude but I feel like next time is gonna be her final time asking so I might have to accept .

As a man you have to be the one managing the situation

Its like to having a squad of players in sports. If a player isnt getting any PT they going to get disgruntled eventually. At the very least hand them some garbage time at your convenience to keep them within arms length.

When you in the area or have time link them so they dont have to ask you to come over in the first place. Women cant handle rejection at all so youre better off controlling when yall link, keeping her on a schedule so she doesnt have to go through the rejection

 

[#BOTHSIDES]

you shoulda said that. why are you saying this now?

my bad...didn't think it was essential info...I've never dealt with so many flakes... in person she was cool...

 

[Ohene]

my bad...didn't think it was essential info...I've never dealt with so many flakes... in person she was cool...

Women are like that

You can meet a girl, have a great convo and then a couple msgs into texting her shes ignoring your msg

Its very frustrating. Dont take it personal, just remind yourself that this is why you have to entertain multiple and let them weed themselves out

 

[#BOTHSIDES]

Women are like that

You can meet a girl, have a great convo and then a couple msgs into texting her shes ignoring your msg

Its very frustrating. Dont take it personal, just remind yourself that this is why you have to entertain multiple and let them weed themselves out

big facts! thanks bruh!!!

 

[Brandsdale]

Random thought I had while watching the Pineapple Show. Anyone think women do a kind of projection when they reject a dude? Like if they don't feel worthy of dude, they reject themselves by projecting their insecurities on to him. This vid I was watching, the girl was coming with all types of excuses, that almost felt like signaling. Dude's a square who's on the come up, and the girl sounds like a bird who rides the coattails of any celeb in LA. Maybe

So far I 've heard

• "You look young"
• "You far" (LA and Phoenix are only 5 hours away driving, but I can understand that)
• Breh only makes $35,000, though he's still in school and on his way to a doctorate
• 9:24 - "You don't need me, you want me." i.e. wake the fukk up simp, you lusting over a street girl busting it open the Hollywood nikkas

7:15- She says I don't want to stop you from your dreams. That only felt like a warning like, "You're a good dude, on your way to great things. I have a kid, I'm in the streets with celebs doing God knows what, allegedly making 35,000 in three months but still needs financial help (she didn't say what she does though)

Breh's a young cat, and I think he's wet behind the ears, cause he was campaigning hard for her, despite all the redflags. She sounds like a mess, and she's telling him not to get involved. I gotta give her props for laying her cards on the table (in as clear a way as possible as far as women do), and letting him know what her business proposition was. Son's gotta grind a bit, maybe get his heart broken once or twice, and he'll be good,

play stupid games win stupid prizes


Youtube got nikkas making the dumbest shyt nowadays and yet i wonder why there nun to watch

 

[ViShawn]

I've been sort of containing this on my end but I have to let it out. My ex and I broke up after about 3 years and 9 months. I had reservations for the past year whether not she was truly the one for me. The incompatibilities just mounted up for me and I was trying to fight my gut feelings because she was a caring, loyal woman.

My biggest gripes - her and I were just sexually incompatible. Despite trying to work on it, problem solve, etc. we just were on two different pages IMO. Combined that with our differences of sleep schedules, her emotionally draining job (education), we were generally intimate ONCE a week.

The only exceptions were when we were on vacation.

The main second gripe on my end was that she was a few years older than me. The older I get the more kids is definitely in my 5 year plan. I met her in her late 30s and the first few months she talked about freezing her eggs, but she didn't citing the cost. The thing is that she came from money, got money from parents and have for her purchasing a new home, etc.

There were some other things the past year that were tumultuous and IMO would probably break marriages. Her teaching job just caused a lot of issues that just turned us into roommates into our own home. She has since decided to quit teaching but doesn't have a plan.



The break-up due to incompatibility isn't the issue for me. We both tried our best and it didn't work. The issue with me was how angry and violent she got after. The night before me moving my final things she asked me for money that I owed her. I told her she owed me money from a trip we didn't go to due to COVID and that I still have some of her utilities. She LASHED out at me, started throwing shyt, pushed me, and slapped me. I left because I'm not going to get wrapped up in any bullshyt. She never exemplified violence before but I know her personality - very conflict avoidant, tries to keep the peace, doesn't know how to get her needs met.

She is probably pissed that she is older at this stage, maybe she feels she wasted time with me, she's not working, and she has a home she has to pay for herself (minus parents' help). The fact that I was leaving made it hurt more. But this was a MUTUAL break up we talked about for weeks!


I'm still in shock that happened. I ultimately know I can't talk to this person again, but it's sad because of all these memories we had. I think it's sad that she thought violence was her way to be heard. I just don't get it. I don't want her back by the way. I need someone younger, more ambitious, someone that can talk about their problems, and one with more chemistry. It just feels weird now for me.

 

[MikelArteta]

I've been sort of containing this on my end but I have to let it out. My ex and I broke up after about 3 years and 9 months. I had reservations for the past year whether not she was truly the one for me. The incompatibilities just mounted up for me and I was trying to fight my gut feelings because she was a caring, loyal woman.

My biggest gripes - her and I were just sexually incompatible. Despite trying to work on it, problem solve, etc. we just were on two different pages IMO. Combined that with our differences of sleep schedules, her emotionally draining job (education), we were generally intimate ONCE a week.

The only exceptions were when we were on vacation.

The main second gripe on my end was that she was a few years older than me. The older I get the more kids is definitely in my 5 year plan. I met her in her late 30s and the first few months she talked about freezing her eggs, but she didn't citing the cost. The thing is that she came from money, got money from parents and have for her purchasing a new home, etc.

There were some other things the past year that were tumultuous and IMO would probably break marriages. Her teaching job just caused a lot of issues that just turned us into roommates into our own home. She has since decided to quit teaching but doesn't have a plan.



The break-up due to incompatibility isn't the issue for me. We both tried our best and it didn't work. The issue with me was how angry and violent she got after. The night before me moving my final things she asked me for money that I owed her. I told her she owed me money from a trip we didn't go to due to COVID and that I still have some of her utilities. She LASHED out at me, started throwing shyt, pushed me, and slapped me. I left because I'm not going to get wrapped up in any bullshyt. She never exemplified violence before but I know her personality - very conflict avoidant, tries to keep the peace, doesn't know how to get her needs met.

She is probably pissed that she is older at this stage, maybe she feels she wasted time with me, she's not working, and she has a home she has to pay for herself (minus parents' help). The fact that I was leaving made it hurt more. But this was a MUTUAL break up we talked about for weeks!


I'm still in shock that happened. I ultimately know I can't talk to this person again, but it's sad because of all these memories we had. I think it's sad that she thought violence was her way to be heard. I just don't get it. I don't want her back by the way. I need someone younger, more ambitious, someone that can talk about their problems, and one with more chemistry. It just feels weird now for me.

It’s still earlier so it will sting . Whenever you are with someone for years even if there were a lot of bad times and incompatibility it’s still the heart and mind will battle. All you can do is finalize what you have to finalize and then don’t contact.

It sucks but at least just gotta remind yourself imagine marrying a woman like this. I’ve also had a woman hit me when I was driving and it was hectic. Even after she apologized I couldn’t do it.

 

[ViShawn]

I attack, if shes not interested cool move



It’s still earlier so it will sting . Whenever you are with someone for years even if there were a lot of bad times and incompatibility it’s still the heart and mind will battle. All you can do is finalize what you have to finalize and then don’t contact.

It sucks but at least just gotta remind yourself imagine marrying a woman like this. I’ve also had a woman hit me when I was driving and it was hectic. Even after she apologized I couldn’t do it.

What annoys me is how that shyt ended. Definitely I couldn't marry a woman like that with a capacity for anger. I'm talking about her throwing shyt, etc. She is generally the super calm yogi style, can't even listen to "angsty" music because it disturbs her. I told her years ago saying it's okay to get frustrated or state your needs OR ELSE it would result in what we have here...resentment.

I also mentioned that she is still at her age, 41, still financially dependent on her parents. A few of my friends have mentioned that just clashes with me on a core level and I need someone with more grit and ambition. I tried.