Damn brehs, my ex went out clubbing with her homegirls, dressed up much better & sexier than before. I stupidly ended up commenting on her IG story with fire emojis & said she looks hot. It's only been a month since the break up
Found these scribbles i wrote when I was in the mud years ago
The emotional connection can be forged quickly or can be a slow
and meticulous process. However when it becomes distorted it will
have you taking back a cheater, abuser, liar and accepting all forms
of shadiness while destroying your self-worth as well as overriding
your gut / intuition and logical thinking.
It will have you constantly checking up on an ex on Facebook,
Instagram, Twitter or whatever form of social media they may
utilize continually looking for information and setting you back time
and time again. It will allow you to lose your dignity by professing
your “love” in long letters and participating in ridiculous “games” to
try and win back your former sweetheart. It will have you accepting
bread crumbs, disrespect and demotion since as long as you get a hit
of them the chain of emotional connection stays attached. It will
have you residing in stagnant relationships long past the expiry date
and it will water the unpleasant seed of codependency.
So how do you eradicate the emotional connection that has been
distorted?
1. Emotional Distance by cutting the cord and leaving no “ins”
A) Total Withdrawal!!
Just like how if someone is in the process of dumping you or cutting
you out of their life, they slowly make their withdrawal, physically
and emotionally......now it is your turn to do the same but totally.
The emotional connection will have to starve to death without any
form of contact, just like if you have Candida overgrowth by
eliminating sugar it will slowly starve the excess Candida.
B) Leaving No “Ins”
If you have roaches in your household, you will take measures to
eradicate them. If you call pest control and they spray your property
but you still leave food out and crumbs they will continually come
back again and again. You have to leave ZERO ins, patch up any
openings, leave no crumbs, whether that may be blocking on social
media or deactivating it totally, changing your number, being
“mean” in the sense you totally ignore, all these steps and maybe
more will have to be taken. Remember this is for you! The time is
now to put yourself first.
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It was over and I accepted it was for the best, yet day after day I would sign into Facebook and head straight to her page for my daily updates of the on goings in her life.
It became my reading the newspaper with a bagel in my house robe daily ritual. Ah I already knew I would feel like crap afterwards and see something I did not want to see but I just could not help myself; the urge was so strong and I just gave in – take me ahh. Day after day I got my fix, the highs ah then once that dissipated the lows of feeling miserable, sad, and angry at myself.
No mas, No more I would say as I would hold out for a few days or weeks and then the withdrawal – oh let me just take a quick glance and there I would be, catching up on everything I missed – Binge snooping so to speak. Who are these new guys she’s adding? Wow all these guys are so thirsty and pathetic! Who are those people she’s taking photos with? That stomach churning feeling in my belly ah she’s still single……Oh Crap she’s now in a relationship?
Why the heck I’m I viewing this guy’s page? I don’t even know him but hate him already. Why the hell are my “friends” clicking like on their photos together? It doesn’t matter it won’t even last yep he’s just a rebound would soothe my thoughts. I’m so much better looking in each and every way. Here I was wishing the worst on someone I once said I cared about how fake I was.
Argh I can’t stop looking, let me find the hottest girl I can and start dating and take photos and make it my display photo – manipulation tactics 101. Ah look she’s single again karma haha. This was no way to live but I was so consumed and could not let go (insert I probably needed therapy at this stage and point).
Until one day I finally had my wakeup call. Why am I wasting so much precious time and attention on this so I just defriended and blocked. Of course it was hard but I fought through it and filled my mind with much more joyous thoughts as I stopped trying to hold onto the façade that I could be “friends” even on Facebook. Went straight cold turkey and never peered again, as the weeks turned into months and months to years I never looked again and it was one of the best decisions I ever made.
like i said i been there breh DONT DO IT
I would not take her serious at all. Scared of what her mom would say... what is she 14?
