Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Turbulent]

Idk you might be right I may really just be playing myself. Hard to say right now, because truthfully I haven't had much time to process these things, I've only known this girl since like mid-October, shyt almost felt like we went through all the main stages of a relationship in a matter of 2 months w/o even being in a relationship, And at the end of it she was saying shyt like "I can't do this anymore", "I need space", "You really think I'm stupid", "I don't even know what to say", "I don't know how to feel towards you anymore", etc etc

use this to learn about yourself breh. why did you need her so much? why did you want her to like you so much? when it was clear she didn't want anything romantic, why was it so important for her to be your friend? why did you seek her attention and time so much? why did you need her to not be mad at you over what you said when she misunderstood? why were you so scared to let her not be part of your life anymore? why did you need her not to hate you and to understand you?

if i was cool with a chick, i don't think it could have ever gotten to the point where she's telling me these things because i would have sensed shyt wasn't cool WAY before that. Seems like either you lacked the awareness to notice something was off and that she didn't want to be cool with you like that OR you sensed it but were stubbornly trying to fix things so it could be like when y'all were laughing/flirting again. these are all questions you should be asking yourself but first you gotta accept responsibility

 

[ViShawn]

Nah mane, i could deal with San Antonio bc at least its a metro area.

Im in Corpus Christi

 

[DeuceZ]

Say bruhs on a scale of 1-10 how badly did I fukk up and how big of an L is this

Girl is into me, we talk, hang out, exchange #'s, yada yada I ask her out, she says her boyfriend wouldn't be ok with that. So ok, I knew this from looking at your IG you were taken but I had to try anyways. So I slide into friend territory, we develop a pretty great/fun/semi-flirty casual friendship, so then I'm just like fukk it and ask her out again a couple weeks later. She says no again because she's taken, and then some bullshyt happens where she misinterprets my words/actions and thinks I got mad and was disrespecting her. Ignores me for a week before I hit her up and we go into this debate where I try to explain to her the miscommunications. At this point, I'm totally cool with just being friends - she's fun to talk to, a solid friend, and I enjoy her company. Platonic or not, I was just intent on being cool with her so there's no bad blood. That's 100% truth (although if sometime down the line she was single again Idk what I would do)

But shyt goes south after this debate. It ended ok, but then I basically tell her you're being a lil unfair and, in her words, told her to "fukk off". I also annoyed her a little bit with overtexting, but I didn't expect her to owe me a response to any of them because they were just jokes I was sending to try to break the tension lol. Anyways, we talk face-to-face and that ends fine and I thought things were patched up. But a week passes, and I run into her after class coincidentally near her train stop, so she thought I was following her, and then curses me out and told me to leave her the fukk alone, so I'm like ok and I apologized for everything and then left her alone. I guess she thought I was still trying to get her but I explained to her I just wanna be friends. She then says ok, but "I still need space so since you can "pretend I never existed w ease (quoting something I said to her)" then please do so". Now I have to take alternate routes from my class so I don't run into her, which is causing inconveniences. I text + message her to let her know that if she sees me I'm not creeping I'm just tryna go where I need to go, but then she unfollows me on IG, blocks me on Facebook, and I can't confirm it but she prob blocked my # too. Smh. I tried respecting her boundaries, apologizing, letting her know I'm just cool w being friends, respected her wishes, but still ate an L and lost a friend in the process

You were doing too much especially with the texting breh... you live you learn

 

[BadBoy]

What would y’all do if ya best friend sister tryna smash

 

[twan83]

What would y’all do if ya best friend sister tryna smash

I mean I smashed my friends gf sister with no remorse ended up dating her briefly but the break up was bad that it changed our friendship for the worse we still coo but haven’t been same since then cus his now wife was beyond mad how I her so he chose to side with her

Personally if she like u and u like her u should talk to ur friend bout it but if it’s just a smash situation na I wouldn’t after what I went thru

She did warn me don’t sleep with her cuz I know how these females are with me and I didn’t listen
She did warn me not to date her unless I really liked her which I did

But ultimately the mistake I made was i thought I was ready to have a girl and I realized I wasn’t so I broke up with her which was the right thing to do but not on the way to the club thru txt and then smash someone else same day
I was wrong and wasn’t shyt for it which I admitted tho and apologized

 

[360dagod]

What would y’all do if ya best friend sister tryna smash

Off limits imo..

 

[momma]

use this to learn about yourself breh. why did you need her so much? why did you want her to like you so much? when it was clear she didn't want anything romantic, why was it so important for her to be your friend? why did you seek her attention and time so much? why did you need her to not be mad at you over what you said when she misunderstood? why were you so scared to let her not be part of your life anymore? why did you need her not to hate you and to understand you?

These are great questions that I've been constantly asking myself regarding this situation. I have no idea why I was so obsessed with trying to get back to how things were. Maybe it's a combination of different things - my desire to "win", my desire to fix things, my desire for some more close relationships/friendships in my life, my need to have security and comfort in all areas in my life and my obsessive nature in trying to attain that, shyt it might be because deep down I'm still trying to get with this girl and know I fukked up when I had a good friendship going and could have just waited in the rafters. I can't pin it down at this point - I'll prob need both time and someone new to get involved with to provide me with a better perspective.

if i was cool with a chick, i don't think it could have ever gotten to the point where she's telling me these things because i would have sensed shyt wasn't cool WAY before that. Seems like either you lacked the awareness to notice something was off and that she didn't want to be cool with you like that OR you sensed it but were stubbornly trying to fix things so it could be like when y'all were laughing/flirting again.

I definitely did sense something when bad energy did come into our relationship. That is partly why I overdid it with the texting at some points, because I got anxious trying to get to the bottom of things. However, whenever we talked face-to-face we always laughed together and kept it kinda friendly, even during that convo after things broke down and we tried to talk it over and she was annoyed. When she finally didn't want anything to do with me anymore and said all those things you bolded, that kinda came out of the blue to me.

you're still not taking responsibility for your actions so you're bound to repeat the same mistakes. if you keep it up, you'll end up in jail with a restraining order or even beat up.

What you mean by taking responsibility?

 

[Cynic]

I live in a Southern African country breh its 21:40pm over here

The one with blacks, coloreds and boers or another one ?

 

[TRFG]

I legit forgot how hard it is to chase a girl haven’t done it in years.. I legit only text this girl once or twice a week since I’m a few weeks out from visiting the place she stays

 

[TRFG]

She says I don’t know enough about her help a breh.. I’m hella rusty

 

[Turbulent]

These are great questions that I've been constantly asking myself regarding this situation. I have no idea why I was so obsessed with trying to get back to how things were. Maybe it's a combination of different things - my desire to "win", my desire to fix things, my desire for some more close relationships/friendships in my life, my need to have security and comfort in all areas in my life and my obsessive nature in trying to attain that, shyt it might be because deep down I'm still trying to get with this girl and know I fukked up when I had a good friendship going and could have just waited in the rafters. I can't pin it down at this point - I'll prob need both time and someone new to get involved with to provide me with a better perspective.



I definitely did sense something when bad energy did come into our relationship. That is partly why I overdid it with the texting at some points, because I got anxious trying to get to the bottom of things. However, whenever we talked face-to-face we always laughed together and kept it kinda friendly, even during that convo after things broke down and we tried to talk it over and she was . When she finally didn't want anything to do with me anymore and said all those things you bolded, that kinda came out of the blue to me.



What you mean by taking responsibility?

what i mean by taking responsibility is to accept that you are in your current situation as a result of choices you made. you can never control how a girl will react to your actions or word, what she will understand from your word, how she will interpret your intentions, etc. all you can control is who you choose to invest time and energy into, what you choose to do, what you choose to care about.

as far as what you said about wanting to win, wanting a close friendship/relationship in your life, i feel you. these things are all fair imo. you can want those things. I think it's a matter of changing your perspective though. You can define "winning" however you want. If you choose to define "winning" as getting that specific girl, you're setting yourself up to lose cause now she's the one who controls whether you "win" or not. Samething for wanting meaningful relationships. you can want that but if you start acting like a specific person is the only source for what you want, you're setting yourself up to lose. It has to be "I want meaningful relationships whether it comes from this woman or the next one". The way i would define winning is sticking to my principles no matter what even if it means losing the girl. See that way i'm in control of whether i win or not. Getting that girl is not winning if you're doing it by giving up your dignity. Being happy with who you see in the mirror is winning, getting a specific girl is whatever.

 

[momma]

what i mean by taking responsibility is to accept that you are in your current situation as a result of choices you made. you can never control how a girl will react to your actions or word, what she will understand from your word, how she will interpret your intentions, etc. all you can control is who you choose to invest time and energy into, what you choose to do, what you choose to care about.

as far as what you said about wanting to win, wanting a close friendship/relationship in your life, i feel you. these things are all fair imo. you can want those things. I think it's a matter of changing your perspective though. You can define "winning" however you want. If you choose to define "winning" as getting that specific girl, you're setting yourself up to lose cause now she's the one who controls whether you "win" or not. Samething for wanting meaningful relationships. you can want that but if you start acting like a specific person is the only source for what you want, you're setting yourself up to lose. It has to be "I want meaningful relationships whether it comes from this woman or the next one". The way i would define winning is sticking to my principles no matter what even if it means losing the girl. See that way i'm in control of whether i win or not. Getting that girl is not winning if you're doing it by giving up your dignity. Being happy with who you see in the mirror is winning, getting a specific girl is whatever.

I think I understand all that - I by no means depend on anything from any person, let alone this one girl. But I don't know, I guess I just have an obsessive nature over things I guess. It sucks to lose a friend like that and feel like garbage while not getting some kind of closure

 

[Dreamzeedream]

If you want her you better shot yo shot. Cause why you scared or hesitating it's another dude waiting on the opportunity

 

[Turbulent]

I think I understand all that - I by no means depend on anything from any person, let alone this one girl. But I don't know, I guess I just have an obsessive nature over things I guess. It sucks to lose a friend like that and feel like garbage while not getting some kind of closure

was she a friend though?

 

[Dreamzeedream]

What would y’all do if ya best friend sister tryna smash

What happen?