Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[kevm3]

As a man, you definitely have to keep your emotions under wrap no matter what this woman tries to tell you. As soon as you get to 'expressing your emotions', the mystery is gone. The two things a woman wants is something mysterious and something she 'can't have'.

Now, when it's said and one, you can't blame yourself for the broad chilling with another dude. All that did was expose what she was really about a lot quicker. That's like me saying, "Oh, she didn't cook my rice just right, so I'm going to go take another woman to dinner."

That's the problem nowadays. Men feel like they got to tippy toe around these women to keep them from cheating or expressing their interest elsewhere, but when it's said and done, these women who want to 'do them' are 'doing them' regardless. She was probably talking to homie as long as, if not longer than you. She just shifted her attention over his way more because she got what she wanted in that emotional confession. What that situation did expose is what she had going on behind the scenes a lot quicker.

Now I do agree to keep your emotions under check, but I wouldn't blame myself for a woman's snakish actions. The REAL problem is that negroes hang around these broads no matter what kind of behavior they exhibit because they feel they need that sex by any means necessary. She could have said anything about your mom, be chilling with 30 dudes, etc., but men will still hover around. If a woman is getting distant and having smoke sessions with other men, cut her off and move on. A woman respecting you is way more important than any sex she could give you, and the respect will never come if you don't demand it.

 

[Youseenmywork]

I've always been monagamous.

you've never spon a plate or two and mind you can do this without intamicy invloved ...

 

[Cynical Thoughts]

I been in a relationship for 2 years. The last 5 months I was a real dikk(rightly so)to her about being the only one caring for the kids. Although we still lived to together she would ask me "did I love her/want to be w/ her" a lot. I would say "I don't know" or give a hesitant "no".(but i always loved her)and I always followed up with why I'm upset. simple shyt like "do more with your kids and try harder to be better" and i always acknowledged my faults also. She would respond w/ "you don't like who I am" I just wanted her to have some humility and accountability about this situation. We would have sex all through this time though.

She said she met someone and I was like "what! we need to be together." She said "ok" and that she loved me( I was just trying at this point for the kids) and she said she stopped seeing dude (she didn't, knew him for a month). she slept with both of us unprotected ( i always pulled out....i know)and now she pregnant i think.

I leave after an argument. She told me she doesn't deserve me and we shouldnt be together. We texted all night. i came back a couple days later. My kids stay with me. I go to her house to get my basketball and this dude is there.

This dude don't care about her cheating on him and he saying he don't care who baby it is he gone take care of it. I'm like this the fool who she follows up w/ after me? She knew homeboy two months. I think she just telling me this to make me mad and not to pursue our relationship again.

Every time I ask her about this whole situation. Her answer has more to do with me, its like she uses no reason or logic at all. I think her and him have mental problems.

I hurt for my kids.

I feel like this shyt gonna turn me to an animal.

 

[kevm3]

My advice is stop chasing a ghost. You know what she's about and it's not much. As a man, when we deal with women and start forming emotions for her, it really clouds our judgment, but men outside who have no emotional attachment will give you a straightforward and blunt answer because they don't have to deal with emotions getting in the way. It may sound harsh, but it's true.

If you have custody of the kid, that speaks volumes about her, because women will NOT typically give up custody of their kids. They want their kids by any means necessary. The fact that she is talking to you and this other guy and had unprotected sex with both of you should send up red flags. Disease central. Liability for raising another man's kid and going to jail if you can't pay that child support. Are you getting the picture? I know you got a lot of love for mami, and ya'll been through a lot together, but that's what makes it so tough as a man. Despite your emotions, you know that there's really 'nothing there' as regards to a future and you have to push past your emotions and move on.

In regards to having her step up and be a better parent, there's nothing you can do to force someone to step up to their parental roles. It's like those women who date mr og thug and he's never around his kid. She can do any and everything, but if he doesn't want to sit down and take care of his kid, he won't. Give her access to take care of the kid if she's ready to step up, but don't depend on it. Tell her she needs to live up to her responsibilities, but when it's said and done, that's a choice SHE will have to make. In the meanwhile, I wouldn't mess with her any further, especially given her decision making process.

 

[kevm3]

To be honest, you made a mistake when you told her you didn't love her. I'm not saying to say it all the time or to say it whenever she wants you to say it, but if you constantly say no you didn't love her or you are hesitant, she's going to start getting other ideas. Now, never say I love you all the time and smother a woman with it, but you can't just be flat out like, "Nah." It's going to make her want to punish you and seek that sort of attention elsewhere.

 

[Cynical Thoughts]

My advice is stop chasing a ghost. You know what she's about and it's not much. As a man, when we deal with women and start forming emotions for her, it really clouds our judgment, but men outside who have no emotional attachment will give you a straightforward and blunt answer because they don't have to deal with emotions getting in the way. It may sound harsh, but it's true.

If you have custody of the kid, that speaks volumes about her, because women will NOT typically give up custody of their kids. They want their kids by any means necessary. The fact that she is talking to you and this other guy and had unprotected sex with both of you should send up red flags. Disease central. Liability for raising another man's kid and going to jail if you can't pay that child support. Are you getting the picture? I know you got a lot of love for mami, and ya'll been through a lot together, but that's what makes it so tough as a man. Despite your emotions, you know that there's really 'nothing there' as regards to a future and you have to push past your emotions and move on.

In regards to having her step up and be a better parent, there's nothing you can do to force someone to step up to their parental roles. It's like those women who date mr og thug and he's never around his kid. She can do any and everything, but if he doesn't want to sit down and take care of his kid, he won't. Give her access to take care of the kid if she's ready to step up, but don't depend on it. Tell her she needs to live up to her responsibilities, but when it's said and done, that's a choice SHE will have to make. In the meanwhile, I wouldn't mess with her any further, especially given her decision making process.

You right. I'm just gonna cut my loses and move on. i was gonna have one more talk w/ her so she could explain alway why she looks so trifling, negligent and stupid. I'm mean she said she still loves me and the kids, but after our relationship is somewhat over, it takes her knowing dude all of a month to get "so called" pregnant? I just can't find the reasoning.

Just the fact that these two people are gonna have some if any type of influence on my kids is a largest hurdle in my life.

 

[Cynical Thoughts]

To be honest, you made a mistake when you told her you didn't love her. I'm not saying to say it all the time or to say it whenever she wants you to say it, but if you constantly say no you didn't love her or you are hesitant, she's going to start getting other ideas. Now, never say I love you all the time and smother a woman with it, but you can't just be flat out like, "Nah." It's going to make her want to punish you and seek that sort of attention elsewhere.

I feel you with that. But I never really gave her a concrete "no". And all my actions showed I still loved her. Hell I never left the house. I took care of her kid that wasn't even mine. I gave everything she asked for. She had to know I still lived her.

You may be right, but I told her I did love when the arguments would get hot and heavy. But shyt she would sometimes made no sence.

Now that I think of it that could be what was happening. Cause she would tell me "I need to know."I thought she was just fronting though.

In my head I'm thinking she has to know I love her or else why would I keep showing love through my actions. Why would I stay in the house with her. When I would hesitate saying "no" to her it was more like I wanted to say yes. But if I said yes, that would mean she could go on about not doing right in my eyes. Like ok he still loves me I can go back to being lazy.

She would try to change maybe for a few days and I would notice and so affection. Then she would fall off. And I would calmly tell her then I would get the " you don't like who I am" treatment. Maybe I did drive her off. Idk but maybe what I wanted her to be better at was a deal breaker for me. I never understood how she couldn't do her best for her kids.

But even still why get back with me when she said she was seeing someone? We was doing real good together. How much did she really love me to get pregnant in a month of knowing this dude. I just wanna know why?

 

[Xtraz2]

females don't care about your actions, they just care wut u say

thats why these sweet talkin nikkaz get in they panties and kick 'em to tha curb tha next day

 

[Cynical Thoughts]

females don't care about your actions, they just care wut u say

thats why these sweet talkin nikkaz get in they panties and kick 'em to tha curb tha next day

No telling what this dude telling her. If he told me, he's willing to take care of a baby that may not be his, from a female who got kids she can't take off that cheated on him and they only been dating two months.

That's why I said I just wanna know something. Tell me it's the only way to get rid on me. Anything is better than it just happened or we wanted kids.

 

[Bomberman]

In a nutshell, women (but really people in general) want to be the master of your happiness. they wan you to depend on them to be happy. That's the ultimate power because if you control someone's happiness, you essentially control them. and it makes your ego feel good as well. We need to realize that no one else besides ourselves is responsible for our happiness. not your girl, not your boss, not your friends, not your parents, no one but you. don't ever surrender that power to an outside source. Even for people of faith it kinda makes sense because God can make you happy since God is within you...

the tricky part with women is that they want that power but they don't want it at the same time. they like the feeling it gives to their ego but at the same time, they don't want to be responsible for your happiness. matter of fact, on some level, they want you to be responsible for their happiness so that they can be taken care of and led but at the same time, they can't avoid resenting you for having a certain amount of control over that essential part of their life (control they surrendered themselves). So in turn they try to get that control over you (even if they don't even want it). it's natural. for them though, it really seems like a fine line they have to constantly walk. if you want a chick to remain your woman, the trick is to be aware of that balance that must be maintained and never surrender too much of your power (because her ego wants it but overall she doesn't).

lol, i keep quoting patrice but fukk it, dude spoke the truth. A woman loves you but she HATES how much she loves you. marinate on that...

Real shyt breh, this advice may have saved my life. It exactly pinpointed what was wrong with how I was handling things and feeling. Any more Patrice gems along these same lines?

 

[Turbulent]

Real shyt breh, this advice may have saved my life. It exactly pinpointed what was wrong with how I was handling things and feeling. Any more Patrice gems along these same lines?

Patrice would also say "Women don't want to win, they want a winner". Once you start compromising your happiness for a woman's happiness you're losing both (the woman AND your happiness).



Dante also drops a gem towards the end of that clip.

If you haven't already, you should definitely listen to the 12 episodes of The Black Phillip Show. His whole show was about relationships. If i was giving mentoring classed to young men or whatever, this show would mos def be required listening. And i don't even agree with every single thing he said but his overall philosophy and the amount of game he dropped on that show changed my life and i'm not even kidding. all the episodes are on youtube.

 

[Malcolmxxx_23]

Patrice would also say "Women don't want to win, they want a winner". Once you start compromising your happiness for a woman's happiness you're losing both (the woman AND your happiness).



Dante also drops a gem towards the end of that clip.

If you haven't already, you should definitely listen to the 12 episodes of The Black Phillip Show. His whole show was about relationships. If i was giving mentoring classed to young men or whatever, this show would mos def be required listening. And i don't even agree with every single thing he said but his overall philosophy and the amount of game he dropped on that show changed my life and i'm not even kidding. all the episodes are on youtube.

those 12 episode don changed how i look at relationship

rip patrice

 

[kevm3]

I feel you with that. But I never really gave her a concrete "no". And all my actions showed I still loved her. Hell I never left the house. I took care of her kid that wasn't even mine. I gave everything she asked for. She had to know I still lived her.

You may be right, but I told her I did love when the arguments would get hot and heavy. But shyt she would sometimes made no sence.

Now that I think of it that could be what was happening. Cause she would tell me "I need to know."I thought she was just fronting though.

In my head I'm thinking she has to know I love her or else why would I keep showing love through my actions. Why would I stay in the house with her. When I would hesitate saying "no" to her it was more like I wanted to say yes. But if I said yes, that would mean she could go on about not doing right in my eyes. Like ok he still loves me I can go back to being lazy.

She would try to change maybe for a few days and I would notice and so affection. Then she would fall off. And I would calmly tell her then I would get the " you don't like who I am" treatment. Maybe I did drive her off. Idk but maybe what I wanted her to be better at was a deal breaker for me. I never understood how she couldn't do her best for her kids.

But even still why get back with me when she said she was seeing someone? We was doing real good together. How much did she really love me to get pregnant in a month of knowing this dude. I just wanna know why?

Wait, so those aren't your kids? All of those kids are her kids? Are any of those kids yours? If that's the case, you were real lucky to get out.

I doubt she only knew the other guy for a month. Probably knew him a long time, but was only seriously seeing him for that month. Either way, it's not looking like she has the mentality of someone you should be around. When it comes to decision-making, most women are very emotional with their choices. Trying to understand it in the frame of logic will have you pulling your hair out because it makes no sense. It could have been just as simple as she really liked how that other guy presented himself and 'wasn't tripping' off of him not using protection. When a woman gets into a zone with a man, thinking of the future repercussions of her actions often goes out of the window too.

 

[Cynical Thoughts]

Wait, so those aren't your kids? All of those kids are her kids? Are any of those kids yours? If that's the case, you were real lucky to get out.

I doubt she only knew the other guy for a month. Probably knew him a long time, but was only seriously seeing him for that month. Either way, it's not looking like she has the mentality of someone you should be around. When it comes to decision-making, most women are very emotional with their choices. Trying to understand it in the frame of logic will have you pulling your hair out because it makes no sense. It could have been just as simple as she really liked how that other guy presented himself and 'wasn't tripping' off of him not using protection. When a woman gets into a zone with a man, thinking of the future repercussions of her actions often goes out of the window too.

Two kids are mine one isn't. And she admitted she didn't want anymore kids cause it wouldn't be fair to the ones she has. That's why its so baffling to me.

You are right she not someone I wanna be around. That's why I'm so concerned for my kids cause I know she got problems.

i wanna know just for the sake of the kids how this dude convinced you to ignore what would be best for your kids?

Funny thing is I don't think we were ever a good fit. But when I tried to break it off(before the kids)she didn't want it. But now it's easy for her to point out how we a two totally different people.

Feels like I'm in love with a bytch I can't stand. And I hate it even more that she's put the kids through this on just a whim.

Maybe it's just the fact that I had an ideal family for my sons and I'm dreading having to start over and my kids will have a male role model that I don't trust.

Thanks breh for your replies. Actually hearing people cement what I think I already know makes it a lot less harder to handle.

 

[kevm3]

Man that's what' makes it so difficult sometimes with women. A lot of them don't think logically, or in other words, tehy don't really think ahead for their actions. You sit and wonder how could she do that, and the answer might be as simple as, "I was bored" or "I wanted attention." It's mindblowing to think about it sometimes, but it's true.