Porn Moves You Tried In Real Life To Negative Results

[ObsidianDev]

Told a long term ex I wanted to paint her pretty ass face during head. she looked up and caught and it all… then she bust out crying like “I…*sniff* just don’t know how to feeeeEEEElllll!…” and starts sobbing. We both butt ass looking ridiculous while I’m trying to hug and comfort her with my dikk still hard and a crazy amount of nut all over her face, hanging off her chin, and in her eye smh.

Everytime I looked at her my dikk would get hard again and she’d start sobbing again lol. She got up and left the room trying to walk it off but looked like a pop tart. I had to get a towel, and wipe her off. I never asked for that shyt again, she made me feel so bad.

Post of the thread so far WTF?

 

[CP3.]

Not even that porn-ish or anything but I was in missionary with a chick and tried to lift her legs up high in the air and she pulled a muscle bytch immediately got up hobbling around the room, leaning on the wall stretching her leg tryna get a cramp out

We didn't go for seconds after, just put on Netflix and went to sleep

 

[DJSmooth]

putting a pillow under her ass. shyt was pointless.

I hate having sex to music. Rather just have the tv or movie playing in the background.

 

[StatUS]

The benefits of multiple takes, cuts, and editing

 

[Cakebatter]

The theme in this thread is the lack of communication with their partner. Didn't matter if the moves came from porn, books, or someone's pastor.

 

[LordDeathwatch]

I was hitting a girl froggystyle and she straight bust out laughing.

She said I didn't have enough dikk for that position

Yoooooooooooooooooo I almost died reading that, I don't want to imagine how you felt hearing.

 

[The Intergalactic Koala]

• Titty rubbing my wife: "ummm really "
• Came in my ex mouth: Felt disgusted by such demonic behavior as she spat it out in the sink
• Bust all over this jawn like I was Lex Steele: I was such a demonic marsupial in my younger days

Its like my limit is 69

Boring missionary type of marsupial despite being the 5 star mating general.

 

[FlyRy]

skullfukking

Brazilian and Colombian girls LOVE It

 

[987654321]

The benefits of multiple takes, cuts, and editing

The Mexican dude from the Valley was in my company in Afghanistan. He was a former porn set assistant (mic boom, lighting, etc) and would tell us what it was like lol. Said that shyt was miserable, like a full time job for everybody, and sometimes dozens of people were on set watching the actors/actresses.

They take lunch breaks, eating naked, and talking about taxes and shyt, then go back to fukking lol. Said it took 8 or more hours to film what amounts to 20 mins of action.

 

[kwazzy100]

Titty fukkin is not it

Really??? It aint all that?

 

[Ironman]

So yall just trying shyt right there instead of regular sex conversations well BEFORE and wonder why ladies hit yall with the

 

[CP3.]

I was hitting a girl froggystyle and she straight bust out laughing.

She said I didn't have enough dikk for that position

 

[Nesto90sKid]

Actually the stuff I tried helped & porn educated me somehow a lot. Let's just say a womans puss & cervix are both tender & strong. Use it accordingly)

 

[Jasonmask]

Really??? It aint all that?

Ok it might work if the girl softly caresses it with her breast whilst sucking you. But it’s not better than a deepthroat I had an ex do that and it was good but not amazing

 

[seymour cake]

Titty fukkin is not it

Shiiiiit when ya bytch got size k titties it is