Paying for a first date is the biggest sucker move

YouLoveMe

YouLoveMe

Banned
Joined
Dec 31, 2012
Messages
5,494
Reputation
-135
Daps
3,715
Reppin
Miami
kevm3 said:
What trips me out is how some women actually think they are entitled to a free meal... talking about it's all about equality, but then want those women exclusive benefits when it comes to going out. Now a woman that's 100% about me that I know ain't about the meals, yeah, I ain't tripping about taking her out... but a woman talking about in order for me to get to know her, I need to buy her a meal... she better catch the next meal on wheels because that's no deal.

Women don't play that meal game with men they really like. If a woman tries to charge you to deal with her, keep it moving and deal with a woman that has a higher level of interest in you. That simple.
Click to expand...

I hope @Teedot understands this. That line i highlighted is 100% truth.
 
mcdivit85

mcdivit85

Superstar
Joined
Aug 20, 2013
Messages
4,530
Reputation
3,660
Daps
18,334
Reppin
Sound Reasoning
MAKAVELI25 said:
But if a chick is reciprocating then what's the problem? If I spent $200 on a chick in a month, you best believe she spent ATLEAST $150 on me that same month. Not all chicks are gold diggers, B
Click to expand...

This.

I think this issue is only a real issue if you don't believe the women you date will reciprocate. But if you believe they will and have experience that they will, then spending money for some dates is no big deal. Why? Because if you spend $40 on a date, then you'll know she'll spend $40 on another date or maybe $40 on buying you a shirt or she'll take care of some errand for you that costs money. At the end of the day, you know that money is coming back to you in the form of goods and services.

Personally, I understand the sentiment of the topic but I don't necessarily share the attitude of the application. To me, first dates shouldn't be something too formal or something you spend too much money on, whether its a male or female paying. But as we all know, the vast majority of the time, men are paying on first dates.

On one hand, I can agree that women who laud themselves as "independent" can't have it both ways...wanting to be treated in an old-fashioned way when its convenient for them yet wanting to be treated in a new-school way when it doesn't. But at the end of the day, women and men, internally, have not changed much over the years when it comes to the hard-wired desires we have in a partner.

Women, biologically, are always going to want a man who can provide and protect. Men, biologically, are always going to want a woman who can nurture and take care of them and his offspring. The variables and semantics of how this is done may change, but the basics remain the same.

Also, if you're taking a woman out with the idea of exchanging the date for some sex, then that's trick thinking and you might as well just buy a b#tch and be done with it. Not trying to throw shade, but I'm just being real. Its all about the intent.

If you're looking at this woman as a potential partner and someone who can add to your life in a very tangible way, then a date is not a tradeoff for sex. Its a way to test the waters. If you just want a quick nut, then you might as well just skip the BS and try to get her to your place asap. Why even go through the motions?

Basically, for me, if I'm on a date with a woman, I try to qualify her before I even step out. That way, I know that I can feel good about spending time her AND I also know that the chances of her just wanting a free meal are pretty low because she'll most likely want to see me again and again.

So, at the end of the day, I feel its part getting to know her a bit beforehand, part being honest with yourself about your true intention and part knowing that she's going to kick into the cause as well.

Peace
 
M

marcuz

Veteran
Supporter
Joined
May 2, 2012
Messages
55,000
Reputation
12,801
Daps
157,156
what are the odds, men who overwhelming feel comfortable being in a relationship where the woman makes more -- also have a problem with paying for dates. geee, who would have thunk it.
 
Dooby

Dooby

إن شاء الله
Joined
May 3, 2012
Messages
8,383
Reputation
-411
Daps
10,406
R.E.N. Spells Ren said:
The reality is both parties SHOULD split the bill on the first few dates (any dates before y'all are a couple). This "the person who asked" shyt is nonsense...If a friend asks you out, there's no question that you're buying your own food, drinks, tickets, admission, etc. and if we ain't a couple, then we're just friends at that point.
Click to expand...

@Teedot @JLova

Read it and weep :camby:
 
Cheeky

Cheeky

Pro
Joined
Feb 27, 2013
Messages
894
Reputation
760
Daps
2,456
Reppin
Calgary
I kind of agree with @Teedot in that the first time you go to a restaurant or movie/outing, the guy should pay. It's a gentleman thing, I'm sorry. However, I've never done those types as dates as a "first". I don't like being trapped with someone that I may not like. Always a coffee for the first date because you're not obligated to stay beyond the time it takes you to drink that coffee and you can split if the guy is a weirdo. I usually pay for whatever I order at that point unless the man insists.

The 2nd date is usually the "sit down" date.
 
Cheeky

Cheeky

Pro
Joined
Feb 27, 2013
Messages
894
Reputation
760
Daps
2,456
Reppin
Calgary
Just to be clear, after that first "sit down" date, we can alternate but I usually date men who make a lot more money than me so it's never been a problem. I offer, but most of the time they don't let me pay. I have treated men I'm seeing to lunch or whatever but I think first impressions (once you get past the ice breaker coffee date) do matter.

Eta: I alternate with my current boo- we live together so everything is 50/50
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top