My best friend is in his last phase of his Divorce, my other best friend is in the beginning phase....

[Abstract83]

I get it in a way. You do have to really know the person as much as possible. My fiancé was always very transparent about what she was looking for and how she viewed marriage. She also has a range of marriages through family and friends as examples to use as reference points.

That's amazing breh. I hope everything work out for the both of you. I've been with mine for almost 3yrs. Engaged for a year to the date of our wedding this July. We get along really good. Damn near best friends. We have our disagreements at times but we patch it up quickly. No resentment towards each other. But we'll be doing premarital counseling soon.

 

[The ADD]

That's amazing breh. I hope everything work out for the both of you. I've been with mine for almost 3yrs. Engaged for a year to the date of our wedding this July. We get along really good. Damn near best friends. We have our disagreements at times but we patch it up quickly. No resentment towards each other. But we'll be doing premarital counseling soon.

Good stuff and best of luck to you. Counseling is smart, life got in the way and we didn’t do it but over the course of the relationship we did a lot of trial and error on how we deal with conflict. I also took time to do some therapy along the way.

 

[Mike Nasty]

I'm in the same boat. Getting married this summer. This thread scaring the shyt out of me.

These threads are a worst case scenario, told in a worst case scenario form. Me and 2 of my boys from college have been happily married for over 20 years, but that doesn't make for a good thread.

 

[⠀X ⠀]

Damn. At least the second dude should come out somewhat ok. I could never marry a lazy woman who doesn’t work. that stay at home wife thing will have you fvcked up in divorce court.

 

[etrofllenrod504]

Marriage isn’t easy, gotta be willing to be all in and honestly put up with some shyt you may not agree with. Two different people can have different morals, beliefs and other things. Also, people may change as they get older. Me and mines been together 15years, it ain’t easy and people shouldn’t assume it is.

This is my issue with marriage. We are programmed “marriage ain’t easy” “marriage hard work” and whatever else saying goes. Now that I’m older I see shyt different. With all the stress I have deal with in world why the fukk should I deal with stress, in an area that’s supposed to be the safest area of my life? The shyt literally doesn’t seem like a benefit in most cases.

 

[ThrobbingHood]

With all the stress I have deal with in world why the fukk should I deal with stress, in an area that’s supposed to be the safest area of my life? The shyt literally doesn’t seem like a benefit in most cases.

Breh, this hit me hard. I’m getting married this summer and I feel exactly the same way. My home should be my sanctuary. My domain. My place of retreat.

Having to deal with all the BS this world throws at me as a black man, I should be coming home to serenity, not drama. It pains me to see men who dread going home and would rather stay at work as long as possible, just to avoid their wife.

What kind of life is that? That’s prison every single day. To be that afraid of going home just to avoid your woman is a nightmare I swear I’ll never endure. I don’t blame a lot of men for staying single.

There’s so much trash out there in the market, I’ll remain single if my marriage doesn’t work out. A peace of mind over a piece of ass, anytime!

 

[The ADD]

This is my issue with marriage. We are programmed “marriage ain’t easy” “marriage hard work” and whatever else saying goes. Now that I’m older I see shyt different. With all the stress I have deal with in world why the fukk should I deal with stress, in an area that’s supposed to be the safest area of my life? The shyt literally doesn’t seem like a benefit in most cases.

There is also the trade of that person helping you work through non-relationship stress. This past week I had minor meltdowns about two different things and my fiancé helped me through each.

 

[Diunx]

Bu bu but a real man gets married and has kids!

 

[etrofllenrod504]

$180k/yr isn't rich

fukk NO

 

[#BOTHSIDES]

@Stuntone u ever dated foreign?

 

[etrofllenrod504]

There is also the trade of that person helping you work through non-relationship stress. This past week I had minor meltdowns about two different things and my fiancé helped me through each.

That’s fantastic Breh. I’m not opposed to marriage I think it’s great when it lines up correct. But so many shyt people out here, that do an excellent job hiding who they really are. To your point tho my boo do the same thing with no ring expectations in sight. For me personally I rather just keep things arms length. I’m also in accepting that if a woman want more(marriage) I’m completely okay with her walking away. I won’t love nothing more than my ability to walk away from it(if I feel it’s not in my best interest).

 

[The ADD]

That’s fantastic Breh. I’m not opposed to marriage I think it’s great when it lines up correct. But so many shyt people out here, that do an excellent job hiding who they really are. To your point tho my boo do the same thing with no ring expectations in sight. For me personally I rather just keep things arms length. I’m also in accepting that if a woman want more(marriage) I’m completely okay with her walking away. I won’t love nothing more than my ability to walk away from it(if I feel it’s not in my best interest).

I’m no fool. It can be good or a total disaster.

 

[Canon]

lot of divorces and breakups in my friend group the past year or so

 

[IsThatBrothaMouzone?]

You have to know who your woman is before you marry her.

A lot of people say women switch up after marriage but all it really takes is a "Yo you sure you want to be a wife and a mother?"

Because once we take that step, your life prior to that ENDS.

And I don't think a lot of people understands what that means.

Facts 100%.

I think most people's biggest mistake....is they simply don't date long enough.

They will be in that "honeymoon" phase of fukking 4x/day, full of lust, chatty patty on the phone etc. You have to get to the point where you know each others likes & dislikes. You know what the other person values....how they want to raise kids, spend money etc.

A lot of folks get married without knowing if they agree on basic shyt.

 

[BarbieHTX]