in the USA, with a culture that isn't as religiously restricted as ours, this would explode. And you know it.
Modern day polygamy in Africa: first wife feeding second wife goes viral
- Thread starter Doobie Doo
- Start date
it makes it worse.
People settle all the time. People just try to get the best
Now, they get even less, or nothing at all, with polygamy.
one thing I would add, you have to be really mentally built for the life, what i mean is this
those of you that are in relationships , everything isnt always 100% great, you have your ups and downs , sometimes being in a relationship is a struggle
so chances are if you are married to more than one person even though things might be fine with one woman they might not be with the other , so you have all the normal problems that come with being in a relationship plus more unique problems that come from being in a polygamous one
my uncle is extremely, extremely laid back so he just takes all the problems in his stride, i cant ever recall a time when one his wives wasnt mad at him for whatever reason , if relationship issues stress you it aint the life for you
those of you that are in relationships , everything isnt always 100% great, you have your ups and downs , sometimes being in a relationship is a struggle
so chances are if you are married to more than one person even though things might be fine with one woman they might not be with the other , so you have all the normal problems that come with being in a relationship plus more unique problems that come from being in a polygamous one
my uncle is extremely, extremely laid back so he just takes all the problems in his stride, i cant ever recall a time when one his wives wasnt mad at him for whatever reason , if relationship issues stress you it aint the life for you
CEO of Morgan Industries
Superstar
Final thoughts because there are a couple posts that responded to me, and then I'm out because the discussion is pretty much going in circles here:
The idea that polyamory is just "fukking around" and necessarily redistributes fewer resources than polygamy doesn't seem to hold up. The idea in the West that marriage = sudden re-distribution of resources is faulty. The numbers of unmarried homeowners who are buying homes in the United States, for example, are up. This is just one datapoint, but I could list all day datapoints that show that marriage is not the key point for merging of financial or other interests that it used to be for most couples. Hell, common law marriages are up significantly in Canada (as well as the U.S.). Take for example a place like Quebec, specifically Montreal, where most people are coupled in ways that indicate marriage without being married (i.e. financially, taking legal responsibility for one another, etc.), as another example of how marriage doesn't mean much in the West as a way to mark when couples redistribute resources. Polyamory, polygamy, monogamy - ultimately, none of these things require marriage for the redistribution of wealth or necessities. I hope that I don't have to get tawdry and pull up examples of men and women who have paid for their mistresses or whoever's car, house, etc., but not for their own wife's or kid's shyt. There was just an article floating around here about some father of four using a bunch of his wealth to house women in exchange for sex. MARRIAGE GUARANTEES NOTHING in terms of redistribution of goods, so the difference between polyamory and polygamy is negligible at best.
The argument that polygamy undermines social and political stability in Africa is interesting. I would defer to people from African countries where polygamy is practiced because they would have more on-the-ground experience than I do with that, but I know that there isn't consensus among people in such countries about the goodness or badness of polygamy. I also note that the arguments in favor of polygamy being a destabilizing force just don't convince me when the issues with stability in some African countries are really notable in post-Colonial times. Like, if you think of the areas of Nigeria where polygamy has long been practiced, it's not like there were a bunch of unstable Igbo villages that were always anarchic or undergoing constant upheaval, at least not in my reading and learning about pre-Colonial Africa. To me, the marker for mass instability has always been the colonization of Africa. I don't think that I've seen anyone in this thread make enough of a clear data-backed argument that polygamy, as traditionally practiced, has been a consistent destabilizer of pre-Colonial African kingdoms.
BUT - I am always willing to learn, and it's more than possible that I'm wrong. I know enough to know that I'm ignorant about some things. I'm just not convinced by the arguments as presented in this thread.
Finally, polygamy in the Western world would be informed by other social movements that are less pronounced in African or Asian countries where polygamy is practiced, such as LGBTQIA+ rights/queer theory, third-wave feminism, etc. In other words, polygamy here would probably be less of a scramble for resources and more of a chance for, say, bisexual people who want a relationship with both someone of their own gender and of an opposite gender being able to enter these relationships legally. I doubt that you would actually see many people in the West take advantage of these types of relationships outside of the top 2% who might have seven or eight different wives who were never going to be fukking a dude who makes 75K a year at his office job anyway, and outside of the people who have been boxed out of these relationships legally and would love to be able to legalize them (people who are more fluid in their sexuality, for example).
This also means that it is possible that people who argue against polygamy in Africa are correct and that I'm seeing this from the perspective of a person in a Western country with a high amount of people who have different ideas about love, marriage, relationships, etc.
Sorry for the long post, but I wanted to get that out. I'll back out now.
The idea that polyamory is just "fukking around" and necessarily redistributes fewer resources than polygamy doesn't seem to hold up. The idea in the West that marriage = sudden re-distribution of resources is faulty. The numbers of unmarried homeowners who are buying homes in the United States, for example, are up. This is just one datapoint, but I could list all day datapoints that show that marriage is not the key point for merging of financial or other interests that it used to be for most couples. Hell, common law marriages are up significantly in Canada (as well as the U.S.). Take for example a place like Quebec, specifically Montreal, where most people are coupled in ways that indicate marriage without being married (i.e. financially, taking legal responsibility for one another, etc.), as another example of how marriage doesn't mean much in the West as a way to mark when couples redistribute resources. Polyamory, polygamy, monogamy - ultimately, none of these things require marriage for the redistribution of wealth or necessities. I hope that I don't have to get tawdry and pull up examples of men and women who have paid for their mistresses or whoever's car, house, etc., but not for their own wife's or kid's shyt. There was just an article floating around here about some father of four using a bunch of his wealth to house women in exchange for sex. MARRIAGE GUARANTEES NOTHING in terms of redistribution of goods, so the difference between polyamory and polygamy is negligible at best.
The argument that polygamy undermines social and political stability in Africa is interesting. I would defer to people from African countries where polygamy is practiced because they would have more on-the-ground experience than I do with that, but I know that there isn't consensus among people in such countries about the goodness or badness of polygamy. I also note that the arguments in favor of polygamy being a destabilizing force just don't convince me when the issues with stability in some African countries are really notable in post-Colonial times. Like, if you think of the areas of Nigeria where polygamy has long been practiced, it's not like there were a bunch of unstable Igbo villages that were always anarchic or undergoing constant upheaval, at least not in my reading and learning about pre-Colonial Africa. To me, the marker for mass instability has always been the colonization of Africa. I don't think that I've seen anyone in this thread make enough of a clear data-backed argument that polygamy, as traditionally practiced, has been a consistent destabilizer of pre-Colonial African kingdoms.
BUT - I am always willing to learn, and it's more than possible that I'm wrong. I know enough to know that I'm ignorant about some things. I'm just not convinced by the arguments as presented in this thread.
Finally, polygamy in the Western world would be informed by other social movements that are less pronounced in African or Asian countries where polygamy is practiced, such as LGBTQIA+ rights/queer theory, third-wave feminism, etc. In other words, polygamy here would probably be less of a scramble for resources and more of a chance for, say, bisexual people who want a relationship with both someone of their own gender and of an opposite gender being able to enter these relationships legally. I doubt that you would actually see many people in the West take advantage of these types of relationships outside of the top 2% who might have seven or eight different wives who were never going to be fukking a dude who makes 75K a year at his office job anyway, and outside of the people who have been boxed out of these relationships legally and would love to be able to legalize them (people who are more fluid in their sexuality, for example).
This also means that it is possible that people who argue against polygamy in Africa are correct and that I'm seeing this from the perspective of a person in a Western country with a high amount of people who have different ideas about love, marriage, relationships, etc.
Sorry for the long post, but I wanted to get that out. I'll back out now.
Maximus Rex
Superstar
I like how the ones mentioning this never explained how this works.
The same way it would work for men
African Peasant
Veteran
I never said polygamy should be applied to the US. It can't work.
I'm laughing at the threesomes bits. Some of y'all don't really know how this works. Group sex is typically a fukkin' no no and unholy. Also ritualistic/fundamentalist polygamy in a highly religious region is not equivalent to Americans practicing polyamory.
Common law marriages are becoming less recognized in the USA. Theres a trend of states removing it.
Common-law marriage in the United States - Wikipedia
Marriage guarantees legal recourse in the event of a dispute. What you're talking about is abuse and malfeasance.
You're understandably sensitive to the portrayal of Africans.
Fine.
Lets talk about South Asians, Middle Easterners and even American Mormon and Amish populations.
Bottom line, polygamy is not good and it promote further instability in those enclaves.
All you've done is say "nuh uh" when presented with lines of evidence and economic and social science research on the matter.
This still doesn't change anything.
If Tim Cook, CEO of Apple, or Anderson Cooper decides he wants 5 husbands, thats 4 highly desired gay male candidates out of their dating pool. Cause we know Tim Cook ain't probably dating trash out here.
It removes viable candidates and removes the incentive to settle down with someone below their preferred or desired mate. Everyone settles with monogamy. In polygamy, no one moves on from old relationships, and no one settles. Everyone just lingers around their desired mate hoping to fit in the circle.
Doesn't matter. Theres more wealth in the West. Theres more people with more money n the West. It would even be hard for dudes who make 6 figures to compete in a world where theres a lot of 6 figure dudes.
Look at San Francisco or New York. You'd have to be effectively a multi millionaire to compete in a town where everyone is making 6 figures.
The point is not that polygamy will cause the same outcomes, its that it will exacerbate rifts and cause further inequity and more division and incite unforeseen social ills.
Remember, polygamy is tolerated in most societies not out of some sort of secular biological imperative, but its almost always RELIGIOUS. People don't challenge religion. They accept religious doctrine despite reams of evidence that may suggest otherwise at their own detriment.
Yo Mama
...the sweeter the juice.
Yeah. Asking for help.as in lets get a house girl/girl not and another cooch into our marriage.
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So the woman takes care of all the husband's she has and they raise the children?
Like I said I don't know a single woman who would be interested in that. How many do you know?
Yo Mama
...the sweeter the juice.
This shyt needs a semi brainwashing/indoctrinating culture or religion to help it out.
I am an African woman and have yet to ever meet another African woman claim that she wants to be in a polygamous relationship. Not once.
Many are forced into it through poverty and being uneducated or being "married" off as child brides. Others are either gold diggers or something. They want the money/security the money in the relationship will bring.
And some first wives will be pissed as hell but wont walk away from their home so will put up with a second wife. Coz to some being single/dumped is worse than death.
I gotta say fk polyanything.
But to those who want that sisterwives bullshyt good for you, I guess.
I am an African woman and have yet to ever meet another African woman claim that she wants to be in a polygamous relationship. Not once.
Many are forced into it through poverty and being uneducated or being "married" off as child brides. Others are either gold diggers or something. They want the money/security the money in the relationship will bring.
And some first wives will be pissed as hell but wont walk away from their home so will put up with a second wife. Coz to some being single/dumped is worse than death.
I gotta say fk polyanything.
But to those who want that sisterwives bullshyt good for you, I guess.
shadowking
All Star
What are you talking about ??
shadowking
All Star
All my hausa friends who were born in a polygamous situation attest to it. Kids actually get killed as well due to infighting over resources especially if the father has a favorite.
Yo Mama
...the sweeter the juice.
I think only some men and people who didnt grow up in or around true polygamous families romanticise this crap.
