Let's have a conversation about domestic violence...

[fckyoupayme]

First off, sorry you’re going through all this. You’re right no one should ever put their hands on anyone man or woman. They are a sect of women that use the law to their advantage and abuse men but that’s not because they are women it’s because they are dysfunctional and hurt. To be honest it seems that you are also dysfunctional and hurt which is why you were attracted to your ex.

I hope the best for you. I wish I had more advice to give but I’ve never found myself in your position. I do know that you should keep trying to be in your daughters life and be careful because Young girls can end up in bad situations because of the men that are brought around them. Stay up breh

 

[murksiderock]

First off, sorry you’re going through all this. You’re right no one should ever put their hands on anyone man or woman. They are a sect of women that use the law to their advantage and abuse men but that’s not because they are women it’s because they are dysfunctional and hurt. To be honest it seems that you are also dysfunctional and hurt which is why you were attracted to your ex.

I hope the best for you. I wish I had more advice to give but I’ve never found myself in your position. I do know that you should keep trying to be in your daughters life and be careful because Young girls can end up in bad situations because of the men that are brought around them. Stay up breh

I have been dysfunctional and I'm in the process of growing from that daily. I appreciate it, sis!

 

[ThrobbingHood]

You're trying too hard. The replies were after I spoke to him...

You asked for advice on something that’s already happened?

 

[murksiderock]

You asked for advice on something that’s already happened?

No, man. I posted the question yesterday morning. Like 3 o clock yesterday after thinking about the shyt all day I texted dude and we had an exchange, the responses to my question came yesterday evening...

 

[Yo Mama]

Argued over a previous agreement of talking to other men around my daughters. She talking to dude and broadcasting it obnoxiously so impulsively, and I'm 100% wrong for this, when she got off and put her phone down, she wanted to talk...

We started arguing and she laid her phone on the couch, so I grabbed it. She was sending this guy pics of my daughters going back a month, when she said she wasn't. I told her it was disrespectful and I could give her phone back when she stopped doing this shyt (the in my face talking and the lying about pics), I don't know dude or if he pedo so shouldn't I know what random mf you showing pics of my girls to?

She nutted up big time, over the next 5 minutes I'm going from room to room, again I shoulda fukking put the phone down and walked away. In this time she punched me repeatedly, slapped me repeatedly, scratched me repeatedly, threw shyt (the girls toys, shoes, the girls chairs) at me, followed me from room to room...

I get to the kitchen and she misses a punch and punches our 3-year old who was standing next to us. Our daughter starts crying and she apologizes, then punches me in back of the head again...

All of this shyt happened and I didn't lose it until she grabbed some Raid and sprayed me, I ducked away so it only caught my forehead and left side of my head but she aimed straight for my eyes and mouth. When I first grabbed her phone she was sitting down and our girls were playing, at some point she grabbed our 1-year old and used her as a body shield, like she'd hit me with her free hand and turn the baby side towards me, did this several times...

After she sprayed me she turned and I put her in a chokehd and told her to put the baby down. She said no, so I lowered her to the ground, held the choke maybe 10 more seconds before snapping out of it and realized what I was doing, had her for about 20 seconds or so...

You have the misfortune of having very young kids with a toxic person. So you have got years more of possible bullshyt.

Sounds like she knows exactly how to trigger you.

You will just have to suck it up and work through it for your daughters sake.

Its impossible for you to control what type of men/women she will have around your kids. So you need to get to a place where you accept she is who she is and befriend her for your kids sakes. At least that way you will have a possible positive influence on her, even if only a little bit.

LET THIS BE A CAUTIONARY TALE TO YOUNG BREHs HERE. NO ONE EVER DIED FROM WEARING A CONDOM. Some women will definitely get pregnant on purpose hoping you will comit once you guys and baby become a "family".

Goodluck OP. Stay positive, things will get better. (put in the work make to them better)

 

[Primetime21]

He and I exchanged several texts yesterday afternoon and it didn't go well. I wasnt aggressive or hostile, I just said I'd like to meet him if he's around my kids. He basically responded with, to summarize, he didn't want to meet me, he doesn't owe me anything, I'm a stranger to him, lose his number, I cant control shyt he does...

You did the man thing. But this story is a prime example of why I dont deal with chicks with kids, and why when I do have em its going to be the old fashioned way. Cat not even man enough to have a conversation with you but is going to be around your kids, could never be me

 

[old pig]

You did the man thing. But this story is a prime example of why I dont deal with chicks with kids, and why when I do have em its going to be the old fashioned way. Cat not even man enough to have a conversation with you but is going to be around your kids, could never be me

I agree with you in theory if everything is on the up and up but keep in mind to the new boyfriend the OP is the “angry” ex who choked out the woman he’s with...if I was in dude’s shoes...I would not be willing to meet and be “vetted” by the OP either until things have calmed down between him and his ex and they can somehow get on amicable terms...granted I wouldn’t be interrupting his phone time with his daughters either...just an all around ugly situation

 

[Cowboyz89]

You get your crazy gf pregnant a second time and blame her for lying about being on birth control. You could’ve strapped up. You could’ve chosen not to meet up with her. But yeah, let’s blame her for lying even though you knew her character.

You then stay in this volatile relationship and end up putting her in a choke hold.

You then act as if you’re above the men you’re amongst in these domestic violence classes.

Do you know who the real victims are? Your daughters for having piece of shyt parents.

The thread should be renamed “let’s have a conversation about personal accountability.”

Agreed

Stop it, no one's a piece of shyt. I'm everything a father should be for my girls and had a moment of immaturity. Way to use that broad brush, though...

This post here is a great example of whats wrong with this entire thread. You read that post and picked out the one thing you feel like you can defend. You ignored everything else that was far more important and not just someones opinion of you.
Based on reading a good chunk of this thread, it seems like you do this in real life as well. You ignore the multiple, life changing bad decisions you make, but will focus on the smaller details that go more in your favor that may not even be relevant at all.

 

[Yo Mama]

nah, the conversation we need to have is being able to walk away from a situation like this, including the kids, if you're not going to have the proper amount of control over the situation.

the kids will understand when they grow up. but having to watch her do dusty hoe shyt is just going to get you frustrated, or get you in predicaments like this. while she continues to do dusty hoe shyt.

if she wants you back in the kids' life, she can get with the program and conduct herself, with your kids, in a manner you approve of

No

 

[Azul]

@murksiderock

1. You have poor impulse control
2. Go to therapy (and I'm not even being funny). You probably won't be able to improve your dysfunction without professional help. I don't know if you have insurance, but if you don't find someone who has a sliding scale.

 

[WesCrook]

Why bother asking for advice and then end up doing the exact opposite of what was suggested?

He probably likes the drama.

 

[NatiboyB]

The system is stacked against men. Literally the only way to avoid this situation is to immediately leave the situation and hopefully have a recording/witness of you leaving...I can’t say much I had the same type of charge myself...And I was the one who got hit...But I left out of there and made sure she didn’t have any funds and when she left I got back in and tossed her shyt out.

I had to sit in lockup up for one of those 3 day weekends...Had to post bail and got an interference with emergency communications charge (don’t even remember how) had a public defendant who i saw for 5 minutes at most.

the only thing you can do now is to put this behind you and move on into the future and quit fukking with her. Don’t go into her crib or nothing it’s even better to have her drop your daughters off to you in a public place or you pick them up without stepping foot into her crib.

 

[Rawtid]

I think you should have a convo with your kids. Let them know what’s appropriate touch and to call if they ever have a problem. Maybe establish a secret code word for if things aren’t going well, but they are scared to talk about it. That may bring you some security in this situation.

 

[ECA]

I could understand if it was an isolated incident but this seems like an ongoing thing and you shifting the majority of the blame onto someone else isn't the proper play here

 

[CoryMack]

Whole situation sounds ratchet as hell, on both sides.