You a grown man if a woman upsets you that bad leave and disappear for a while. No such thing as 50/50 or 75/25 u the man in this situation its up to you handle her. The court system will show no mercy once u get involved with them its too late. Guilty now pay us.
Let's have a conversation about domestic violence...
- Thread starter murksiderock
- Start date
Date rats who bring men around your daughters after only knowing them for 6 months brehs..
Most these bytches ain’t shyt
Marc Spector
the 4'11 Cuban
I mean bruh what you want us to do? Alll we can say is (according to your story) the bytch is crazy. Yea theres absolutely a culture of dysfunction that extends to physical abuse in the black community, among men and women.
With that said, you can't control her and you're passing the buck of accountability. You may not be a Ike Turner " I dream of hitting bytches"
type of abuser but it's clear you have aggressive tendencies (which is not healthy) and you allowed yourself to remain in a toxic situation that got you in legal trouble. I see too many men bytch and moan about the unfairness of the legal systems for relationships/parenting and use it to excuse themselves of action or inaction. shyt ain't changing no time soon so you gotta be the bigger person at all times and take 100% ownership at all times (even when it's not directly your fault) because your kids lives literally depend on it.
TELL ME YA CHEESIN FAM?
I walk around a little edgy already
Taadow
The StarchBishop™️
Mmkay:
1. You are correct. “The System” is absolutely not fair about the reality of Partner Violence.
That is the Silver Lining of the dark, humid, Cumulus cloud that is your situation.
1b. Everybody knows you are correct, but it doesn’t matter until it happens to them.
Nothing is going to happen to change that.
2. Any woman who seeks the assistance of The System against a man (especially a Black man) -
whether justified or not - shows that she lacks concern for your life. Do not miss that tell.
3. IMO you seem too concerned about the new nicca your Baby’s Mama is talking to.
She gonna talk to other niccas, yo. This what they do. She gonna spray him with chit in a few months.
You don’t need to meet with him - he ain’t the problem.
3b. I understand your concern for your children...but they are her children more than they are yours.
That’s what she thinks. Once you give your seed to a woman, it (and its fruits) is her property. So she
gives less of a fucc about what is “disrespectful” to you, as she already has what she wanted from you.*
4. (Taadow’s Legal Team: Taadow is not a lawyer, and any legal exhortations he offers are a matter of personal opinion. Please consult a lawyer.) Bruh...fucc the bullchit. When the lawyers/judges try to spit them numbers at you, take that muthafuccin’ chit to trial. Make them earn that money. The legal system (not “justice system”, “legal system”) does that chit because they would rather muthafuccas plea out instead of getting their day in court.
I’m not even no muthafuccin’ lawyer, but your broad assaulted you with a deadly weapon - poison even.
Even if you had priors, if they aren’t related to this charge as you say a good lawyer can swerve that chit.
Oh well.
5. Do not give your Baby’s Mama power over your mind/life.
5b. All you can do now is live. Do what you can to help your daughters, but all you can do is help.
Their life is gonna be what it will be. You can only control what happens when you are with them.
Like someone else already said, time will reveal to them who/what was righteous.
1. You are correct. “The System” is absolutely not fair about the reality of Partner Violence.
That is the Silver Lining of the dark, humid, Cumulus cloud that is your situation.
1b. Everybody knows you are correct, but it doesn’t matter until it happens to them.
Nothing is going to happen to change that.
2. Any woman who seeks the assistance of The System against a man (especially a Black man) -
whether justified or not - shows that she lacks concern for your life. Do not miss that tell.
3. IMO you seem too concerned about the new nicca your Baby’s Mama is talking to.
She gonna talk to other niccas, yo. This what they do. She gonna spray him with chit in a few months.
You don’t need to meet with him - he ain’t the problem.
3b. I understand your concern for your children...but they are her children more than they are yours.
That’s what she thinks. Once you give your seed to a woman, it (and its fruits) is her property. So she
gives less of a fucc about what is “disrespectful” to you, as she already has what she wanted from you.*
4. (Taadow’s Legal Team: Taadow is not a lawyer, and any legal exhortations he offers are a matter of personal opinion. Please consult a lawyer.) Bruh...fucc the bullchit. When the lawyers/judges try to spit them numbers at you, take that muthafuccin’ chit to trial. Make them earn that money. The legal system (not “justice system”, “legal system”) does that chit because they would rather muthafuccas plea out instead of getting their day in court.
I’m not even no muthafuccin’ lawyer, but your broad assaulted you with a deadly weapon - poison even.
Even if you had priors, if they aren’t related to this charge as you say a good lawyer can swerve that chit.
Oh well.
5. Do not give your Baby’s Mama power over your mind/life.
5b. All you can do now is live. Do what you can to help your daughters, but all you can do is help.
Their life is gonna be what it will be. You can only control what happens when you are with them.
Like someone else already said, time will reveal to them who/what was righteous.
Someone was on the radio with a similar situation about a dude
Also another note.. Dating since February might seem like a short time compared to your relationship with her, but given that people have been stuck in the house for the last 4 months due to a pandemic, I wouldn't brush it off like it's nothing.
Also, what the fukk are you going to do if you don't like him except get yourself thrown in jail? You gonna fight him? You gonna tell your girl who she can and can't bring around the kids that are equally hers?
Don't forget YOU are the guy who assaulted the woman he is now dating. You didn't listen advice before and I doubt you'll listen to this, but hopefully when you are scrolling the comments sections from jail it will sink in.
You don't need to establish anything to anybody. The kids know that you are their father.
Also another note.. Dating since February might seem like a short time compared to your relationship with her, but given that people have been stuck in the house for the last 4 months due to a pandemic, I wouldn't brush it off like it's nothing.
Also, what the fukk are you going to do if you don't like him except get yourself thrown in jail? You gonna fight him? You gonna tell your girl who she can and can't bring around the kids that are equally hers?
Don't forget YOU are the guy who assaulted the woman he is now dating. You didn't listen advice before and I doubt you'll listen to this, but hopefully when you are scrolling the comments sections from jail it will sink in.
OP..
I understand how you are feeling. I know you are going through it, but, now is the time for you to reset and refocus on what is most important in your life which are your children, your freedom and peace of mind.
Moving forward, I think it is time for you to start vetting the women you allow into your life. I am speaking on those you may want to seriously date and/or start relationships with, not those you may smash every now and then.
Also, when you decide that someone is worthy of your time, effort and heart, you may want to have that heart to heart talk with that person and discuss matters such as the both of you adhering to a code of conduct that the both of you could agree upon. I am saying this because this is what I would do, whether I was in your situation or not.
Personally, I will not tolerate any levels of disrespect! I don’t have to and I will not do so! People do not have to cross lines and resort to things such as violence, verbal and emotional abuse, neglect, etc. There will be disagreements, but said disagreements can be resolved in a mature manner. If you are with someone who you have a strong rapport with, then you will have little to no disagreements to boot, so try to find someone who respects you, your kids and you will be alright.
Lastly, yeah, the court system is a joke and very biased against men, especially Black men. But, since you are in your situation, do what you have to do to stay out of trouble and not violate whatever situation the courts put you in. Also, try to find a way to have an amicable relationship with your children’s mother. You are bound to her for life and you have to deal with her to some capacity until they are grown, so make the best of it until you don’t have to deal with her anymore.
Best of luck to you! Keep your chin up, chest out and stay on the grind! You should be alright if you do the right thing..
I understand how you are feeling. I know you are going through it, but, now is the time for you to reset and refocus on what is most important in your life which are your children, your freedom and peace of mind.
Moving forward, I think it is time for you to start vetting the women you allow into your life. I am speaking on those you may want to seriously date and/or start relationships with, not those you may smash every now and then.
Also, when you decide that someone is worthy of your time, effort and heart, you may want to have that heart to heart talk with that person and discuss matters such as the both of you adhering to a code of conduct that the both of you could agree upon. I am saying this because this is what I would do, whether I was in your situation or not.
Personally, I will not tolerate any levels of disrespect! I don’t have to and I will not do so! People do not have to cross lines and resort to things such as violence, verbal and emotional abuse, neglect, etc. There will be disagreements, but said disagreements can be resolved in a mature manner. If you are with someone who you have a strong rapport with, then you will have little to no disagreements to boot, so try to find someone who respects you, your kids and you will be alright.
Lastly, yeah, the court system is a joke and very biased against men, especially Black men. But, since you are in your situation, do what you have to do to stay out of trouble and not violate whatever situation the courts put you in. Also, try to find a way to have an amicable relationship with your children’s mother. You are bound to her for life and you have to deal with her to some capacity until they are grown, so make the best of it until you don’t have to deal with her anymore.
Best of luck to you! Keep your chin up, chest out and stay on the grind! You should be alright if you do the right thing..
Drip Bayless
Superstar
Why didn’t you just record her my nikka
You nutted in a loon twice breh, ain’t really much to be said
Unfortunately both you and your children will be holding the L
You nutted in a loon twice breh, ain’t really much to be said
Unfortunately both you and your children will be holding the L
murksiderock
Superstar
murksiderock
Superstar
He and I exchanged several texts yesterday afternoon and it didn't go well. I wasnt aggressive or hostile, I just said I'd like to meet him if he's around my kids. He basically responded with, to summarize, he didn't want to meet me, he doesn't owe me anything, I'm a stranger to him, lose his number, I cant control shyt he does...
So of course I felt his response was distasteful and completely disrespectful. I didn't curse him or threaten him but I told him I look forward to meeting him and I hope he keeps the same energy in person...
Maybe reaching out was a poor idea, maybe it wasn't. I'm not reaching out again so I'm good on that and I'm not talking to The Ex about him (they were obviously together because she sent me a text while he and I were chatting saying to leave him alone, he ain't concerned with meeting me, etc). I ignored her texts, it wasn't about the kids and I didn't respond...
I'm healing fam, I'm trying to and I want to. So there is no confusion, this is not about her having a new partner, he tried saying that shyt and I redirected him quick, it's about the boundaries and respecting my time with my children. If I'm on the phone with my girls, especially since you're around them alot, you don't get to interrupt my conversation by taking one of them from my conversation. Come on, that isn't even respectable...
I'm trying to throw my energy into everything else, and I believe all of this will make me a much better man in the future. For myself, my daughters, and whoever's daughter I end up with. I believe that, and I know I can only control my time with my daughters. My uncle yesterday told me to start talking to my oldest about sexual and physical abuse and just cherish the time I'm with them, and pray they are protected and being treated right when I'm not. And that feeling of not being able to protect them I know is inevitable but the powerlessness doesn't feel any better...
I couldn't take the case to trial because if I did, I was gonna be rearrested, charged habitually, and given about a quarter million bond. Trial wouldnt have been until mid-to-late 2021, so I'd be sitting in jail the next 12-18 months which is a huge step backwards from being able to see my girls now...
So of course I felt his response was distasteful and completely disrespectful. I didn't curse him or threaten him but I told him I look forward to meeting him and I hope he keeps the same energy in person...
Maybe reaching out was a poor idea, maybe it wasn't. I'm not reaching out again so I'm good on that and I'm not talking to The Ex about him (they were obviously together because she sent me a text while he and I were chatting saying to leave him alone, he ain't concerned with meeting me, etc). I ignored her texts, it wasn't about the kids and I didn't respond...
I'm healing fam, I'm trying to and I want to. So there is no confusion, this is not about her having a new partner, he tried saying that shyt and I redirected him quick, it's about the boundaries and respecting my time with my children. If I'm on the phone with my girls, especially since you're around them alot, you don't get to interrupt my conversation by taking one of them from my conversation. Come on, that isn't even respectable...
I'm trying to throw my energy into everything else, and I believe all of this will make me a much better man in the future. For myself, my daughters, and whoever's daughter I end up with. I believe that, and I know I can only control my time with my daughters. My uncle yesterday told me to start talking to my oldest about sexual and physical abuse and just cherish the time I'm with them, and pray they are protected and being treated right when I'm not. And that feeling of not being able to protect them I know is inevitable but the powerlessness doesn't feel any better...
I couldn't take the case to trial because if I did, I was gonna be rearrested, charged habitually, and given about a quarter million bond. Trial wouldnt have been until mid-to-late 2021, so I'd be sitting in jail the next 12-18 months which is a huge step backwards from being able to see my girls now...
ThrobbingHood
Breh&Breh Associates™
Why bother asking for advice and then end up doing the exact opposite of what was suggested?
Womb Raider
movin' thru the city streets
Never reach out to another man. Pride is a motherfukker
LiveFromLondon
Superstar
You just as much a dysfunctional, degenerate as she is. Take this time out to think how you're gonna move in the future. fukking degenerate
murksiderock
Superstar
Why bother asking for advice and then end up doing the exact opposite of what was suggested?
You're trying too hard. The replies were after I spoke to him...