Ladies I Have A Very Important Dating Question To Ask...

[LeeDoubleLee]

I hear you bro and agree that courting a women and being generous is important. Howeve I am only talking about the first few dates where you are trying to decide if you fukk with the person like that or nah. Only in situations where you don't know the women too well and want to get to know her. I am also not saying not to be generous, in the OP I mentioned paying the tip and also I feel a man should still be chivalrous and pull out the women's chair and things like that as well.

As for divorce rates I feel you are wrong because in most marriages the male paid for the women's food due to social conditioning in the start of the relationship and they ended in failure. The man married her and found out he was with a greedy no good spoiled women who complained too much or worse and that's why they ended up getting divorced. If he didn't pay for her food in the beginning maybe he would have seen her character flaws and how she carried on cause she had to pay fer her own food and he would have not went down that road. Just a theory.

I like the future line you threw in your post though lmao Future said it the best.

isn't the first few dates part of the courting process? unless you are completely going on a blind date you usually know enough about the girl to see if you want to take her out to get to know her better which is part of courting?

 

[Guvnor]

Those things are quite important to me as well, but so is someone's financial state. Unless I'm crazy about a person for whatever reason, manners, respect, and chivalry will not matter if we're struggling financially, or I feel like I'm pulling all the weight financially. I would want my partner to have the things you mentioned and be financially sound, but I also would not want someone who is doing well financially, but has no manners and is disrespectful. I'm allowed to want everything mentioned lol. To me, paying for the woman on the first date would be an indication that money is not an issue for a guy (even if it's not true) and that he's at least willing to use his money when it concerns you. So to me, paying on the first date is part of putting your best foot forward, in addition to having manners and being respectful. Like I said, other women may feel differently.

And I understand how men are not ok with this lol. I would not want to spend money on people that are potentially a waste of my time. To that I would say: date more liberal girls; do lunch dates, which are cheaper than dinner; plan dates that don't involve spending much. And the obvious: Just don't pay for the woman. Some women may feel a certain way about this though, even the ones who are not looking to use you for money like an "instagram thot"

Pardon me, I had to take some time and really read an analyze what your saying and at the end of the day as you even said, it may indicate a man's money is not an issue but that not always true. A man can pay and still not be worth a shyt. In fact most men paid for the first dates and ended up going on to be absentee fathers, broke bums or worse. With that said, is this a false sense of security? Also what do you have to put on the table in a relationship? What should men be looking for from women in a healthy relationship?

Also as for your second paragraph, great advice. I'm going to greatly consider that because that is the issue here, I don't have an issue paying but don't want to waste my time and money on a women not worth it. That is my only gripe and why I feel a man shouldn't pay on the first date if he doesn't know the woman well.

It's been a while since I read this thread, but I see that people have deduced that because men feel that they have to pay on the first date, divorce rates are high!?! Correlation, perhaps, but you can't just say that. You can say that money is a big issue for divorce, though. Studies actually back that up.

Well it's just a theory I threw down and I'm not saying it's facts but many marriages end up in divorce or separation and I feel part of it is because sometimes the women doesn't have anything to put on the table. I understand it's a man's job to provide but that doesn't mean the woman should be a bum tbh, I feel the woman in a relationship should be focused and driven as well as the man. The women has to be able to put money on the table and that is why I feel it's best that a woman pays on the first date to show she doesn't have an issue with bringing something to the table and also you can get to know her and it's not just about a free meal for her.

If many relationships end in divorce and many black women are single then obviously we are doing something wrong and have to change our approach and come up with a solution. Do you agree?

 

[Guvnor]

Booksnrain be giving y'all all these jewels, I just hope the young ones over here get this message. Otherwise it'll be a cold world out there for anyone that believes themselves to be smarter than they really are.

How you gonna throw subs at me in my own thread?

It's not my fault your a simp and you are not capable of using logic and reason

My granddaddy told me...u can't flim flam, the zim zam...


People like to try and be unique and different to avoid tried and true. That's all good and well but you gotta take realities into consideration in how u move...or ur dooming urself to bitterness.

I respect your grandfathers wisdom but at the same time ask your grandfather about all the folks who are old timers now who when they were younger back in the days they used to give women eye jammies, they used to curse the women out as they came home drunk after a hard days work and the women who stayed in these miserable relationships back then because they were ignorantly religious. Marriage is one of the most flawed "institutions" and I don't feel the people in the past got it right but we can learn from their experiences, both the successful marriages and the unsuccessful marriages and try to improve upon that.

I feel what everyone needs is different but paying for a meal is simping behavior and it's also setting yourself up for failure if you don't know the women well. The reason being because she could be using you for a free meal or expect you to make her and that's not what I'm about. I'm looking for a woman who is a go getter and could add to what I'm building, an asset and not a liability if you will.

 

[Guvnor]

isn't the first few dates part of the courting process? unless you are completely going on a blind date you usually know enough about the girl to see if you want to take her out to get to know her better which is part of courting?

Well yes the first few dates are part of courting but in my case most of the women I date I don't know too well before the first date. I may have met them out and about or online so it's a little different for me. So with that said, I do want to take the woman out in order to get to know them but it could also potentially be a waste of time and money which one of the reasons why I'm considering going dutch on dates from now on. The other reason being I want to see if she could put something on the table as well.

At the same time even if you think you know her well, you will only truly know her over time.

 

[Claudex]

How you gonna throw subs at me in my own thread?

It's not my fault your a simp and you are not capable of using logic and reason

I was just agreeing with @Booksnrain breh, was not throwing subs no one's way at all.

My logic and reason dictate that free p*ssy is problematic p*ssy. And problematic p*ssy will turn on you someday; it may not be today, nor tomorrow...but someday it fukking will.

You show a woman you're dating that you appreciate her presence* enough to contribute to her being there with you and she'll appreciate you for it 9 times out of 10. You also do this because spending money helps you quickly realize exactly what it is that you need from person X. Put a little pressure on yourself to get something from a girl that she's never given any other guy, that's how I learned how to do it.




* - By this I mean find the perfect balance between spending money and being creative. A couple of drinks at a bar, sharing a bottle of wine by the beach (under a full moon) with some music playing, catching a movie during the week (when it's cheapest), eating some ice-cream and chopping it up for an hour and a half walking through the garden, finding some coupons for a cheap date wherever (she ain't even gotta know you got coupons for added effect) etc... You do not have to spend too much money to make an impression. In fact the more you spend on a girl for no reason (something simple and logical) the more her p*ssy dries up even if at first she doesn't admit it to herself. That's when they start thinking "So and so is a good man, but I don't know...I just don't feel it."

 

[Guvnor]

I was just agreeing with @Booksnrain breh, was not throwing subs no one's way at all.

My logic and reason dictate that free p*ssy is problematic p*ssy. And problematic p*ssy will turn on you someday; it may not be today, nor tomorrow...but someday it fukking will.

You show a woman you're dating that you appreciate her presence* enough to contribute to her being there with you and she'll appreciate you for it 9 times out of 10. You also do this because spending money helps you quickly realize exactly what it is that you need from person X. Put a little pressure on yourself to get something from a girl that she's never given any other guy, that's how I learned how to do it.




* - By this I mean find the perfect balance between spending money and being creative. A couple of drinks at a bar, sharing a bottle of wine by the beach (under a full moon) with some music playing, catching a movie during the week (when it's cheapest), eating some ice-cream and chopping it up for an hour and a half walking through the garden, finding some coupons for a cheap date wherever (she ain't even gotta know you got coupons for added effect) etc... You do not have to spend too much money to make an impression. In fact the more you spend on a girl for no reason (something simple and logical) the more her p*ssy dries up even if at first she doesn't admit it to herself. That's when they start thinking "So and so is a good man, but I don't know...I just don't feel it."

Oh alright brother, I thought you were throwing subs

As for your perspective, I respect it but it sounds a little simpish. I mean because you don't pay for the first dates it's problematic p*ssy? Tons of guys pay on the first date and end up with a chick who is problematic or end up not getting the p*ssy at all.

Also what about the guys who are cheap b*stards, doing things like borrowing her car, her money and never taking her on a date but still get the p*ssy. I have a theory that if a women is really feeling you she would be willing to pay for her own meals in the beginning which is more then reasonable. It's the same way women let guys who they really like do even worse to them and accept it for years sometimes. I'm not saying that guys should treat women wrong in this manner because she might get fed up and kill your ass one day but just using this example to show the female psychology. When a female is feeling you, they already know from the beginning and are hooked. You can turn them off if your not who they thought you were but once you got them open and they see a lot in you they like it's hard to turn them off. You could tell if your in this kind of situation because from the jump there is a strong attraction.

 

[Claudex]

Oh alright brother, I thought you were throwing subs

As for your perspective, I respect it but it sounds a little simpish. I mean because you don't pay for the first dates it's problematic p*ssy? Tons of guys pay on the first date and end up with a chick who is problematic or end up not getting the p*ssy at all.

Also what about the guys who are cheap b*stards, doing things like borrowing her car, her money and never taking her on a date but still get the p*ssy. I have a theory that if a women is really feeling you she would be willing to pay for her own meals in the beginning which is more then reasonable. It's the same way women let guys who they really like do even worse to them and accept it for years sometimes. I'm not saying that guys should treat women wrong in this manner because she might get fed up and kill your ass one day but just using this example to show the female psychology. When a female is feeling you, they already know from the beginning and are hooked. You can turn them off if your not who they thought you were but once you got them open and they see a lot in you they like it's hard to turn them off. You could tell if your in this kind of situation because from the jump there is a strong attraction.

Nah breh, you're actually one of the few I rock with in this forum.

You're absolutely right that, just because you pay, that doesn't mean you'll be dealing with the most reasonable side of the woman in question. However, it is precisely because you payed that you won't/should NOT find it anywhere within you to deal with women that will be a clear waste of time. Whereas if you don't pay you may in the near future make excuses to prolong a relationship that isn't going anywhere talmbout "man my girl ain't perfect, but at least she pays for her stuff" (strictly speaking to those pretending to be HOH that aren't necessarily so).

So basically I'm saying you pay for at least the first date, so that it becomes clear - even to yourself - that you're making an investment. And once that's clear, it's on you to make sure of whether it's an investment worth pursuing or not.

I understand if that's still a little simpish to you too breh. Not even sure if you'll understand me since up until two/three years ago I was a HOH breh who wouldn't even entertain talks of paying for stuff. Will not forget a few reactions I got on Valentine's day for being HOH...for basically nothing now, I understand.

TL;DR: It basically keeps you on your toes to not waste time and to keep your communication clear and concise.

 

[Asicz]

@Guvnor How much do you think should a first date cost on average?40$,80$,100,150>

 

[Guvnor]

Nah breh, you're actually one of the few I rock with in this forum.

You're absolutely right that, just because you pay, that doesn't mean you'll be dealing with the most reasonable side of the woman in question. However, it is precisely because you payed that you won't/should NOT find it anywhere within you to deal with women that will be a clear waste of time. Whereas if you don't pay you may in the near future make excuses to prolong a relationship that isn't going anywhere talmbout "man my girl ain't perfect, but at least she pays for her stuff" (strictly speaking to those pretending to be HOH that aren't necessarily so).

So basically I'm saying you pay for at least the first date, so that it becomes clear - even to yourself - that you're making an investment. And once that's clear, it's on you to make sure of whether it's an investment worth pursuing or not.

I understand if that's still a little simpish to you too breh. Not even sure if you'll understand me since up until two/three years ago I was a HOH breh who wouldn't even entertain talks of paying for stuff. Will not forget a few reactions I got on Valentine's day for being HOH...for basically nothing now, I understand.

TL;DR: It basically keeps you on your toes to not waste time and to keep your communication clear and concise.

Thanks bro, I respect your perspective but at the same time I'm not saying don't ever pay for dates or invest in the relationship but just not initially. I'm not even saying she has to pay for your meal but I'm saying you get to know her and then when more comfortable you begin paying.

@Guvnor How much do you think should a first date cost on average?40$,80$,100,150>

I'll say if you're not paying for her meal it could be 15 or so, maybe a little less or more but if your paying for her meal it might be 30 to 40 range. It could be way cheaper though if you're taking her out for a slice of pizza or ice cream or something simple like that but I don't usually do that. I have to so that on future dates as suggested in this thread.

 

[Hungerpain]

These comments.
The prostitute mentality and entitlement is astounding.
Why do you bytches even have job's if you feel as tho a man you never met should be paying for what you put in your stomach.
Just sell p*ssy.
You do it anyway.

 

[Crayola Coyote]

fukk outta here, I bet you got a nappy weave and a case of cat fish syndrome down there. How you gonna diss the brehs like that?

How you gonna even shyt on home boy like that when he knows you and I don't know you.

You see this is why I'm gonna start going on dutch when dating The mentality of some females fam, it's crazy.

The entitlement women have in 2017. "Take me out on a date and after that I'll see if I like you or not... sike! I don't like you.. n I'm not gonna give you the p*ssy. But you can be my gay best friend ." Tell me I'm speaking alternative facts

 

[Crayola Coyote]

These comments.
The prostitute mentality and entitlement is astounding.
Why do you bytches even have job's if you feel as tho a man you never met should be paying for what you put in your stomach.
Just sell p*ssy.
You do it anyway.

toxic femininity

 

[Crayola Coyote]

I was initially attracted to & interested in both men until 1. The conversation went too far left or 2. He became too familiar, too quickly. (I could've been wrong but I got the impression that he expected sex after dinner...)

If I can't be bothered or patient enough to work through misunderstandings or the (mental/sexual) attraction was snuffed out due to unwanted touching/speaking too much about sex then I cut ties and move on...cleanly. For me, that was done by paying for my own dinner.

Look at this shyt. Women are always looking for a way to put a dude in a catergory to extract resources. "I'm gonna put him in the pay my bills section"

 

[Guvnor]

These comments.
The prostitute mentality and entitlement is astounding.
Why do you bytches even have job's if you feel as tho a man you never met should be paying for what you put in your stomach.
Just sell p*ssy.
You do it anyway.

Facts bro! Like I said a first date is to see if you like the person, it's not for me to pay for the women to stuff her face. I'll be kind enough to pay the tax since I'm eating too and even leave a tip but for the food she eats, she got to be able to put something on the table. I feel a lot of times women end up expecting the man to pay for everything but have nothing to put on the table themselves and I don't want a bum bytch. That's how you end up miserable and then divorcing her. Good p*ssy or looks can only get you but so far as a couple, but she has to be able to put something on the table and if she has it to put down then why wouldn't she invest into the relationship. Especially in the beginning when you two don't know each other well.

The entitlement women have in 2017. "Take me out on a date and after that I'll see if I like you or not... sike! I don't like you.. n I'm not gonna give you the p*ssy. But you can be my gay best friend ." Tell me I'm speaking alternative facts

That all facts man, I don't have time for those bullshyt games so if you have her put some money on the table it will show she is invested in the relationship as well and not just using you to stuff her face for month while she don't plan on giving you the p*ssy. If she is not genuinely interested she will move on and she won't be able to play those games because it will cost her, but if she is enjoying seeing you on the other hand she will enjoy getting to know you which is what dates are for.

 

[Crayola Coyote]

Facts bro! Like I said a first date is to see if you like the person, it's not for me to pay for the women to stuff her face. I'll be kind enough to pay the tax since I'm eating too and even leave a tip but for the food she eats, she got to be able to put something on the table. I feel a lot of times women end up expecting the man to pay for everything but have nothing to put on the table themselves and I don't want a bum bytch. That's how you end up miserable and then divorcing her. Good p*ssy or looks can only get you but so far as a couple, but she has to be able to put something on the table and if she has it to put down then why wouldn't she invest into the relationship. Especially in the beginning when you two don't know each other well.



That all facts man, I don't have time for those bullshyt games so if you have her put some money on the table it will show she is invested in the relationship as well and not just using you to stuff her face for month while she don't plan on giving you the p*ssy. If she is not genuinely interested she will move on and she won't be able to play those games because it will cost her, but if she is enjoying seeing you on the other hand she will enjoy getting to know you which is what dates are for.

THIS. Tell her to put money up since she got a job. If she can't it's her loss. Also, It's not even wrong to leave a girl at the table when she is texting. Women do this disrespectful shyt cause they are allowed to do it. Hold them accountable. Look, she is texting the other dude that is fukking her while you are paying for her? "Lmfaoooo I'm gonna bring you food and suck your dikk once he's done with the date. Byyyyeee" and you sitting there looking like a chump thinking you gonna get to smash. FOH! get up n leave. She can get a ride back some how.