Pardon me, I had to take some time and really read an analyze what your saying and at the end of the day as you even said, it may indicate a man's money is not an issue but that not always true. A man can pay and still not be worth a shyt. In fact most men paid for the first dates and ended up going on to be absentee fathers, broke bums or worse.
With that said, is this a false sense of security? Also what do you have to put on the table in a relationship? What should men be looking for from women in a healthy relationship?
Perhaps it's a false sense of security, but if that was what she looked for in that situation, but the guy proves to be completely different down the line, she can act accordingly. (This is kind of a lazy response to that question lol)
And as of now, I have basically nothing to put on the table, which is why I don't date atm. I'm a not-so-financially-stable college student, and my focus is on bettering my future (financially at least). For this reason, I'm not in the frame of mind to give affection, intimacy/sex, companionship, understanding, love, time, encouragement, and effort to someone relationship-wise. It would be half-assed and not worth it. I think a guy should look for the things I mentioned, but I may not be the best person to ask considering I don't do relationships...
Also as for your second paragraph, great advice. I'm going to greatly consider that because that is the issue here, I don't have an issue paying but don't want to waste my time and money on a women not worth it. That is my only gripe and why I feel a man shouldn't pay on the first date if he doesn't know the woman well.
And it's a very understandable gripe, which is why I tried to think of some solutions.
Well it's just a theory I threw down and I'm not saying it's facts but many marriages end up in divorce or separation and I feel part of it is because sometimes the women doesn't have anything to put on the table. I understand it's a man's job to provide but that doesn't mean the woman should be a bum tbh, I feel the woman in a relationship should be focused and driven as well as the man. The women has to be able to put money on the table and that is why I feel it's best that a woman pays on the first date to show she doesn't have an issue with bringing something to the table and also you can get to know her and it's not just about a free meal for her.
If many relationships end in divorce and many black women are single then obviously we are doing something wrong and have to change our approach and come up with a solution. Do you agree?
I agree, but I don't think men not paying will solve underlying issues.