Ladies I Have A Very Important Dating Question To Ask...

Guvnor

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THIS. Tell her to put money up since she got a job. If she can't it's her loss. Also, It's not even wrong to leave a girl at the table when she is texting. Women do this disrespectful shyt cause they are allowed to do it. Hold them accountable. Look, she is texting the other dude that is fukking her while you are paying for her? "Lmfaoooo I'm gonna bring you food and suck your dikk once he's done with the date. Byyyyeee" and you sitting there looking like a chump thinking you gonna get to smash. FOH! get up n leave. She can get a ride back some how.
Facts, you got to put your foot down :mjlol: fukk that! If the woman is doing a lot of texting or isn't acting right, I feel it's only right you drop her and get another one. Don't even waste your time. There are millions of women out there and more women then men in this world so with that said if shyt is going left and you're moving right you just got to keep it moving lol. She will learn when she has three kids and no ring, stretch marks and is old and alone.
 

Crayola Coyote

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Facts, you got to put your foot down :mjlol: fukk that! If the woman is doing a lot of texting or isn't acting right, I feel it's only right you drop her and get another one. Don't even waste your time. There are millions of women out there and more women then men in this world so with that said if shyt is going left and you're moving right you just got to keep it moving lol. She will learn when she has three kids and no ring, stretch marks and is old and alone.

THIS. That WALL is unforgiving.
 

Rawhigh

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Pardon me, I had to take some time and really read an analyze what your saying and at the end of the day as you even said, it may indicate a man's money is not an issue but that not always true. A man can pay and still not be worth a shyt. In fact most men paid for the first dates and ended up going on to be absentee fathers, broke bums or worse. With that said, is this a false sense of security? :sas2:Also what do you have to put on the table in a relationship? What should men be looking for from women in a healthy relationship?

Perhaps it's a false sense of security, but if that was what she looked for in that situation, but the guy proves to be completely different down the line, she can act accordingly. (This is kind of a lazy response to that question lol)

And as of now, I have basically nothing to put on the table, which is why I don't date atm. I'm a not-so-financially-stable college student, and my focus is on bettering my future (financially at least). For this reason, I'm not in the frame of mind to give affection, intimacy/sex, companionship, understanding, love, time, encouragement, and effort to someone relationship-wise. It would be half-assed and not worth it. I think a guy should look for the things I mentioned, but I may not be the best person to ask considering I don't do relationships...




Also as for your second paragraph, great advice. I'm going to greatly consider that because that is the issue here, I don't have an issue paying but don't want to waste my time and money on a women not worth it. That is my only gripe and why I feel a man shouldn't pay on the first date if he doesn't know the woman well.

And it's a very understandable gripe, which is why I tried to think of some solutions.

Well it's just a theory I threw down and I'm not saying it's facts but many marriages end up in divorce or separation and I feel part of it is because sometimes the women doesn't have anything to put on the table. I understand it's a man's job to provide but that doesn't mean the woman should be a bum tbh, I feel the woman in a relationship should be focused and driven as well as the man. The women has to be able to put money on the table and that is why I feel it's best that a woman pays on the first date to show she doesn't have an issue with bringing something to the table and also you can get to know her and it's not just about a free meal for her.

If many relationships end in divorce and many black women are single then obviously we are doing something wrong and have to change our approach and come up with a solution. Do you agree?

I agree, but I don't think men not paying will solve underlying issues.
 

Rawtid

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If I were a guy, I would set my first date limit at $10. It would be very casual, and something like coffee, a bakery, a florist (Just buy a couple of individual flowers)...all black owned preferably. $1 taco day, .50 wing night...something. You still pay for the date, get to know her and you're not out a lot of money. If she's not with it, then she's not the one. I'm "traditional" in a sense where I think the man should pay for dates, but also logical enough to accept an outing that doesn't cost an arm and a leg.
 

Guvnor

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Perhaps it's a false sense of security, but if that was what she looked for in that situation, but the guy proves to be completely different down the line, she can act accordingly. (This is kind of a lazy response to that question lol)

And as of now, I have basically nothing to put on the table, which is why I don't date atm. I'm a not-so-financially-stable college student, and my focus is on bettering my future (financially at least). For this reason, I'm not in the frame of mind to give affection, intimacy/sex, companionship, understanding, love, time, encouragement, and effort to someone relationship-wise. It would be half-assed and not worth it. I think a guy should look for the things I mentioned, but I may not be the best person to ask considering I don't do relationships...

Lol terrible answer, you just pretty much admitted that it's all programmed bullshyt :mjlol: more then likely she will only truly find out if it's different further down the line anyway so men paying for the first date really won't make any difference only give you a false assumption :manny:

I respect your answer on what a man should expect from a relationship though :jbhmm: Also I know what it's like to be a broke college student lol. I had to find a job and learn to save and it wasn't easy but I just couldn't be that broke anymore lol. I just finished classes in December and now I'm looking for a new job but all the best with college, stay focused. Time passes and before you know it it's over and then life really begins.

And it's a very understandable gripe, which is why I tried to think of some solutions.
Right, it's not easy and if you sistas were in our shoes you wouldn't want to pay either for what could be a fluke.


I agree, but I don't think men not paying will solve underlying issues.

Maybe not but I feel this move may be a good precursor to uncovering the issues. Maybe even finding out about them even sooner :jbhmm:

If I were a guy, I would set my first date limit at $10. It would be very casual, and something like coffee, a bakery, a florist (Just buy a couple of individual flowers)...all black owned preferably. $1 taco day, .50 wing night...something. You still pay for the date, get to know her and you're not out a lot of money. If she's not with it, then she's not the one. I'm "traditional" in a sense where I think the man should pay for dates, but also logical enough to accept an outing that doesn't cost an arm and a leg.

Not all women want to hear that though, a lot of them out here want a big first date. Also if it's not worth it it will be 10 dollars I won't be getting back :francis:
 
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its not a big deal but i might assume you either have trust issues/baggage (as you have stated over and over again about your anxiety of being used for a meal), don't have enough money, or just dont want to go out of your way to be nice to me (because basically, providing a meal for someone is just a nice thing to do)
 

Guvnor

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its not a big deal but i might assume you either have trust issues/baggage (as you have stated over and over again about your anxiety of being used for a meal), don't have enough money, or just dont want to go out of your way to be nice to me (because basically, providing a meal for someone is just a nice thing to do)
Well what do they say about those who assume? If a man pays for your meal you might assume a lot that is positive like he can provide for instance but he might very well be a bum.

With that said I do have a little bit of money, and I am a very nice person I have been told but it's the principal again, I don't know if it's worth me investing my money right away when I don't even know the woman. You bring up trust issues and baggage but the thing is that I feel trust is something earned, I just refuse to be a sucker because I know better then that. Being too trusting right away will lead to divorce and subsequent court mandated child support payments which I have seen happen to men in numerous scenarios.
 

Dwolf

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If I were a guy, I would set my first date limit at $10. It would be very casual, and something like coffee, a bakery, a florist (Just buy a couple of individual flowers)...all black owned preferably. $1 taco day, .50 wing night...something. You still pay for the date, get to know her and you're not out a lot of money. If she's not with it, then she's not the one. I'm "traditional" in a sense where I think the man should pay for dates, but also logical enough to accept an outing that doesn't cost an arm and a leg.
:francis:
 

Guvnor

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If I were a guy, I would set my first date limit at $10. It would be very casual, and something like coffee, a bakery, a florist (Just buy a couple of individual flowers)...all black owned preferably. $1 taco day, .50 wing night...something. You still pay for the date, get to know her and you're not out a lot of money. If she's not with it, then she's not the one. I'm "traditional" in a sense where I think the man should pay for dates, but also logical enough to accept an outing that doesn't cost an arm and a leg.
Wait I just realized, you said 1 dollar taco and 50 cent wing? Then you mention flowers too. That is way over 10 dollars where I live. I live in NY where things cost more then that around here :mjlol:
 

Rawtid

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Wait I just realized, you said 1 dollar taco and 50 cent wing? Then you mention flowers too. That is way over 10 dollars where I live. I live in NY where things cost more then that around here :mjlol:

I was giving separate suggestions, not saying do all that on one date. Florists I’ve gone to have single flowers for the cheap. The florist idea was really to seek out a small (black preferably) business and patronize. Just something inexpensive and different.
 

Guvnor

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I was giving separate suggestions, not saying do all that on one date. Florists I’ve gone to have single flowers for the cheap. The florist idea was really to seek out a small (black preferably) business and patronize. Just something inexpensive and different.
Oh understood, i like that ideal that makes sense. I see now.
 

Rawtid

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Not all women want to hear that though, a lot of them out here want a big first date. Also if it's not worth it it will be 10 dollars I won't be getting back :francis:
Date someone else then. $10 for two people is not a lot of money to lose. You lend friends that amount without wanting it back.
 
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Well what do they say about those who assume? If a man pays for your meal you might assume a lot that is positive like he can provide for instance but he might very well be a bum.

With that said I do have a little bit of money, and I am a very nice person I have been told but it's the principal again, I don't know if it's worth me investing my money right away when I don't even know the woman. You bring up trust issues and baggage but the thing is that I feel trust is something earned, I just refuse to be a sucker because I know better then that. Being too trusting right away will lead to divorce and subsequent court mandated child support payments which I have seen happen to men in numerous scenarios.

well i didn't really assume the baggage part. you stated a few times in the thread that you don't want to be used for a meal without getting anything in return. if this has never happened to you before or if your never heard dudes talking about "simping" so much this thought may never cross your mind... so it comes from somewhere.
Some people think trust should be earned, others give people the benefit of doubt until proven otherwise....both ways can go wrong. but the main thing is what are you giving up with putting trust in a first date that YOU requested....$20 and an two hours??? it doesn't seem like a big enough deal to have your guards up...unless you dont have a lot of money which goes to my other assumption.
as for my third assumption about being nice.... you talk about not knowing her but also, she doesnt know you. so maybe she needs to trust you as well and it seems like nice people get trusted easier than a$$holes.
 

Dwolf

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What’s your problem? Dates are wack in the first place, no need to spend all your money.
Your ideas are cool but hardly anyones game for that.
Dates arent wack. You should take me out sometime:mjgrin:
 
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