Ladies, How Would You React If You Found Out

[Lady.Libra.]

I never did the dating multiple guys thing at once, it's time and energy consuming and you have to be kind of organized for it. But I did in the past go on a date, if I saw it wasn't going anywhere or I didn't like him it was on to the next one. But if the next one was cool, I'd feel it out and see if I wanted to be serious. If you're not exclusive you can't be mad at a man for exercising his options.

Yes. It would be great if men understood [ego] this concept instead of taking it as an opportunity to dictate/attempt to shame women. #DoubleStandards

Casual dating [not casual sex] isn't for everyone...especially those seeking a means to an end but it is nice in my case - contentedly single - when I want the masculine energy/presence of my choice or want to go to an event with a man whose company I enjoy. Then I'm like - That was fun, see you later...until next time.

 

[Lady.Libra.]

It has nothing to do with chastity. I've experienced the negative emotional effects of being into someone and then finding out they were with other woman and I just prefer not to repeat it. I prefer not to need to have an abortion, tho I absolutely would do it if I had to, so I use birth control that is 99% effective with no user error possible. Why is that unbelievable to you?

It is always going to be unbelievable to men like that who think in extremes, black & white, can't/won't think outside of his own life experiences/engaging in group-think/flossing for the fellas, seeking to shame/judge, wants to argue, etc.

They can't seem to apply logic: EX - There are thousands of members/lurkers BUT maybe 200 ACTIVE posters here on the coli. When threads are posted and all the 666 men, 35 year old virgins, chaste submissive women, men knee-deep in snatch,

etc. they can't deduce that it is those people that the scenario in the OP is applicable to, not the total sum of the coli, that are replying to that particular thread and they take that to represent all of the coli.

They don't read for understanding either, only to look for a supposed loop-hole in your statement to attack, use against you, etc. [To be fair to them - I am not that articulate and it often shows in my writing. I realized the other day that I need to do

better! People say men can't read minds and they weren't lying!]

 

[mcdivit85]

How many of y'all are telling these people that you are seeing, talking to, dating and possibly having sex with other people? How soon do you give out this information?

I'm assuming most of y'all ain't saying squat for fear of running all your options away by being truthful even if they were doing it themselves. I feel as if even if you yourself were dating multiple men, and if one of the men told you he's also doing so it would bring him down about 2-3 notches. And unless you really like him and y'all are really vibing, you would probably charge him to the game/throw him to the bushes. This also goes for men, but I think he wouldn't charge her to the game as there's still the possibility he could have sex with the woman.

I don't even bring it up because I assume she's doing the same. So for me, I just assume it's understood. I may be wrong, and in some cases I have been. Some chicks were offended, to which I quickly retorted that they themselves did not make it clear that I was the only person they were "getting to know." So, they assumed as well.

I don't charge women for dating other men or being open to dating other men when we're in the "getting to know" stage. Generally, that means it's still the first few weeks or maybe month of even meeting someone. Besides, I've found that if you're the top choice, you'll know. And once she gets into you by spending more time with you, she'll drop the other dudes pretty quickly.

Not to mention, if I meet a chick and she tells me that she's been dating. All that tells me is that the dude(s) she's "getting to know" are not capturing her attention. Because if they were, she'd be focused on them and wouldn't be smiling in my face. And she wouldn't be sitting across the table from me enjoying that Starbucks frappucino talmbout "What's that movie you like? Oh yea, we should definitely go see it. Maybe this weekend?"

Peace

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Dating for fun is so pointless to me. Eventually someone is going to catch feelings and then its "what are we"


You minds well just keep "friends" and "friends" with benefits if your not trying to settle down imo.

And so what if they do? That is the point. Then you talk about it like adults and either move on or take it further. I'd imagine that's how it's suppose to go instead expecting everyone you ever go out with your potential soul mate. You seriously only ever want to engage with the opposite sex if they will be around forever? I think dating for "fun" (I wouldn't use that term; it's about enjoying people and not expecting something major from a perfect stranger) is just about getting to know different types of people. You don't know you like a certain type of man until you experience him. And the "friends with benefits" thing is totally up to the individual. You don't have to keep anyone around. You depose of people at will.

 

[mcdivit85]

Dating is really a game Personally, I believe that the vast majority of women won't tell you they are exercising other options and they probably think you are doing the same but they just don't want to know/hear it come out of your mouth. Because if the dude says it from the get go how many women will throw him in the bushes unless he's of high social status, wealth, looks, personality etc?

I'm gonna try both. I'm gonna tell the women I'm going to holla at this summer that I'm seeing other people and I'm gonna see if they charge me to the game. Gonna do it right from the jump with some then I'm gonna do it later down the road after I built up some repertoire with others.

Bro, you don't have to hide anything from a chick you just met and hasn't brought any tangibles to the table yet

And real talk, you'll get more attention if chicks know other chicks are around. How do people react to things that are in demand? They generally value them. And how do people treat things that sit on the shelf? You already know.

Here's a tip for you: Let the chick bring it up. And when she brings it up, just relax and nonchalantly tell her "Yea, I'm dating right now. But I'm open to meeting the right one if I find someone I vibe with and if she brings alot to the table."

Saying this is either going to challenge her to be that chick. Or it's going to make her bounce. Either way, you win. You win if she feels pressure and starts performing on your behalf. And if she bounces, you still win because you rid yourself of a chick who wasn't choosing hard enough anyway.

This is not theory, breh. I'm telling you this from years of personal experience.

Peace

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

I just really don't understand how ya'll trying to lock down people you don't know and have made no commitment to or why that would be considered a good thing or why ya'll trying to get into serious relationship in a matter of weeks or months.

I have an uncle who use to date like that. He would only date one woman at a time. Everyone in my family always thought that was a bad idea but that was him. As a result he didn't really date too much and ended up marrying a lady b/c they clicked and he thought she was a nice woman (she's Mexican). Years later he regrets that shyt every day. Now he works are the airports and gets to meet all types of woman and says all the all the time he wishes he would have married a Black woman and dated more. He seriously dated down IMO but he was so quick to take the first thing that felt nice. Marriage'/commitment is serious. You shouldn't be trying to give it to just anyone. IDK part of dating/immaturity is learning to differentiate what feels nice and what you actually need in life. People should be compartmentalized and major commitment is reserved for only the special; not just someone you enjoy being around or who enjoys being around you.

 

[The Mad Titan]

And so what if they do? That is the point. Then you talk about it like adults and either move on or take it further. I'd imagine that's how it's suppose to go instead expecting everyone you ever go out with your potential soul mate. You seriously only ever want to engage with the opposite sex if they will be around forever? I think dating for "fun" (I wouldn't use that term; it's about enjoying people and not expecting something major from a perfect stranger) is just about getting to know different types of people. You don't know you like a certain type of man until you experience him. And the "friends with benefits" thing is totally up to the individual. You don't have to keep anyone around. You depose of people at will.

At some point you had your soul snatched up out you.


That's a really selfish way to look at things, I dont look to date other people for my enjoyment and to see if things work out. If I want to enjoy some time with someone they are a friend. We aren't dating, and if we get close at some point then we can date.

But dating a bunch of random women/men just to experience different type of people seems wild. I dont really need to experience a bunch of different type of women, I already keep a tight circle of friends I dont enjoy people lying to me and I dont enjoy BS.

Getting to know and network with people is fun, but the actual dating part should be reserved for those that you see potential romantic interest in.... That's just how I see it

 

[Sterling Archer]

Is this the thread were all the women act like they only have sex with men they call boyfriends? I just want to be sure.

 

[mcdivit85]

Yes. It would be great if men understood [ego] this concept instead of taking it as an opportunity to dictate/attempt to shame women. #DoubleStandards

Casual dating [not casual sex] isn't for everyone...especially those seeking a means to an end but it is nice in my case - contentedly single - when I want the masculine energy/presence of my choice or want to go to an event with a man whose company I enjoy. Then I'm like - That was fun, see you later...until next time.

Fellas

 

[mcdivit85]

It is always going to be unbelievable to men like that who think in extremes, black & white, can't/won't think outside of his own life experiences/engaging in group-think/flossing for the fellas, seeking to shame/judge, wants to argue, etc.

They can't seem to apply logic: EX - There are thousands of members/lurkers BUT maybe 200 ACTIVE posters here on the coli. When threads are posted and all the 666 men, 35 year old virgins, chaste submissive women, men knee-deep in snatch,

etc. they can't deduce that it is those people that the scenario in the OP is applicable to, not the total sum of the coli, that are replying to that particular thread and they take that to represent all of the coli.

They don't read for understanding either, only to look for a supposed loop-hole in your statement to attack, use against you, etc. [To be fair to them - I am not that articulate and it often shows in my writing. I realized the other day that I need to do

better! People say men can't read minds and they weren't lying!]

Why would responding or even contemplating the idea of responding to people who don't post cross my mind?

And why would I respond to thoughts that weren't typed?

Men should read minds? Sure, but I'm a gentleman. So, ladies first

Peace

 

[PrnzHakeem]

Both men and women should try dating alot of different types while young, it's the only way you'll figure out your deal breakers, likes and dislikes, etc.

Some of y'all only dating 1 person at a time feel like you invested so much time into them that you sometimes in your mind you build that person up into someone they arent.

Oh, and people (mainly women) are flaky as hell. So you can be cool with throwing a chick in the friend zone or bushes if she start flaking.

 

[Lady.Libra.]

Fellas

What do you think you are doing? You want to see them attempt to drag me? It will be anti-climatic for you...and them.

 

[PrnzHakeem]

Fellas

I can't even hate, I used to do the same thing. I used to go on dates cuz I had dinner budgets I needed to use while I was working for a consulting firm. Had no real interest in dating them but I liked having them around...sometimes.

@Lady.Libra.

But I was told by my now wife that I was leading these women on.

 

[mcdivit85]

I can't even hate, I used to do the same thing. I used to go on dates cuz I had dinner budgets I needed to use while I was working for a consulting firm. Had no real interest in dating them but I liked having them around...sometimes.

@Lady.Libra.

But I was told by my now wife that I was leading these women on.

I feel you, but most men aren't doing that. Most dudes are using their own money for dates, and they're not giving out charity.

But some chicks will go out with dudes for entertainment purposes...company or actual entertainment. Knowing damn well they're not feeling dude. And they don't lose any money from such endeavors.

Peace

 

[mcdivit85]

What do you think you are doing? You want to see them attempt to drag me? It will be anti-climatic for you...and them.

Never that, babe

I'm all for peaceful discussion and f#ckery

I just want the esteemed fellas to see inside the mind of single woman in the 2016 dating game. Because some of them seem to be under illusions of sort.

Peace