Is it a sucker who accepts his wife doesnt have his surname or times have changed :

[BlackDiBiase]

all my african brothers know the western problem im talking about with some of you dating Mills, Machintosh, Jones, etc.

deep discussion

 

[ThrobbingHood]

When this discussion comes up, I try to be objective.

If your wife is a lawyer or has a job where her reputation is based on her name, then I completely understand her keeping her maiden name or making it double barrelled. It would be like starting from scratch and it’s a nightmare changing everything.

Now if your wife’s maiden name isn’t dependent on her career (if she has one) then hell yeah it’s a sucker move. She wants you to give up your freedom and she can’t even give up her name?

You’re marrying into the man’s family. To not take his name means you reject patriarchy, which means you technically reject the idea of marriage. You can’t cherry pick which parts of it you want.

“Hey, let’s get married but I’m not giving up
My last name.”

“Cool, then I’m not giving up my side pieces. ”

 

[BlackDiBiase]

When this discussion comes up, I try to be objective.

If your wife is a lawyer or has a job where her reputation is based on her name, then I completely understand her keeping her maiden name or making it double barrelled. It would be like starting from scratch and it’s a nightmare changing everything.

Now if your wife’s maiden name isn’t dependent on her career (if she has one) then hell yeah it’s a sucker move. She wants you to give up your freedom and she can’t even give up her name?

You’re marrying into the man’s family. To not take his name means you reject patriarchy, which means you technically reject the idea of marriage. You can’t cherry pick which parts of it you want.

this is real but i would still lean with the wife taking the husbands name its not just traditional but its a beautiful serious commitment shown.

if her career or livelihood depends on the name thats when the husband to be has to step up and insist that he is there through ups and downs.

my vote ultimately its up to her, but thats just the beta sucker in me deep down i would want her to have my surname.

dope post though.

 

[ThrobbingHood]

this is real but i would still lean with the wife taking the husbands name its not just traditional but its a beautiful serious commitment shown.

if her career or livelihood depends on the name thats when the husband to be has to step up and insist that he is there through ups and downs.

my vote ultimately its up to her, but thats just the beta sucker in me deep down i would want her to have my surname.

dope post though.

Marriage is all about compromise. As you said, you’re making the ultimate commitment. Nothing says you’re committed more than taking on your husband’s last name.

If we’re starting a family and our kids are going to take on the family name, her not taking it feels like she’s not fully committed. Like she’s still an outsider. It’s like reverting to Islam but keeping your English name.

I swear I know a CAC who took his wife’s last name. I kid you not. He also called himself a male feminist.

 

[BlackDiBiase]

Marriage is all about compromise. As you said, you’re making the ultimate commitment. Nothing says you’re committed more than taking on your husband’s last name.

If we’re starting a family and our kids are going to take on the family name, her not taking it feels like she’s not fully committed. Like she’s still an outsider. It’s like reverting to Islam but keeping your English name.

I swear I know a CAC who took his wife’s last name. I kid you not. He also called himself a male feminist.

i would even say there should be some type of compensation system in place if a couple get divorced and the wife doesnt have the husbands surname he doesn't have to pay a ludicrous settlement.

 

[Cryptocurrency Scarface]

As as you ain’t taking her name and the kids take yours it’s all good



Emasculated dudes who take their woman’s names

 

[BlackDiBiase]

As as you ain’t taking her name and the kids take yours it’s all good



Emasculated dudes who take their woman’s names

those of us with african surnames or muslim surnames will find it more scrutinizing to get a fair go and fair opportunities in this racialist western world. so i could understand some women opting out but i want a ride or die chick so to speak lol.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

I think it's fine. The paperwork is a pain in the butt

 

[Pseudonym]

I think it's fine. The paperwork is a pain in the butt

it took me 2 months to get my new social security card, and had to go to the DMV twice for a new license/registration

 

[DreadBrown]

It depends on the situation, me and my ex weren’t big on marriage so it would have mattered to me

My current woman is all about tradition and culture and is pushing for marriage for those reasons. She also wants to double barrel but I’m like nah, you wanna do it the ‘right’ way we doing it all the way.

 

[Deuterion]

Her wanting to keep her last name isn’t always about the man. What if she really respects her dad, her last name and wants her Dad’s legacy represented in her last name! I see nothting wrong.

 

[Action Mike]

I refuse to be the first man in my family to allow this.

shyt is literally pigs flying to me.

Children and legacy as a man are the core reasons to get married.

"Congrats to mr other name and miss other name"

 

[BlackDiBiase]

Her wanting to keep her last name isn’t always about the man. What if she really respects her dad, her last name and wants her Dad’s legacy represented in her last name! I see nothting wrong.

thats one rare flower but they could be out there.

i think our generation with all cultures marrying i doubt we will see names like :

kirsty obasenjo

teisha wong-kim

rakim kltchkov

i know unfortunately a lot of it stems from the disadvantage of certain names, shyt they used to laugh at mine and thats fellow nigerians.

 

[Mike Nasty]

My cousin's wife didn't take his name at first, which I always thought was disrespectful to him and his family.

Now that I'm older I see that as a serious red flag. If she trying to pull this before the marriage is complete, then imagine what comes next.

 

[CashmereThoughts]

Who gives a fukk. Goddamn you nikkas is obsessed with these goofy “rules” nikkas came up with 1000 years ago. Worried about what others think.