Is Fatherlessness A Black Women's Problem, or A Black Males' Problem?

[Ashley Banks]

That's your choice, do not apologize for it. The wording was a little off but still.

I do not see a problem with being submissive, a home maker, etc. I didn't see that growing up with my mother, in which my father felt slighted and emasculated so I tend to lean towards more traditional roles of the wife. But like I said, that's my choice. If you're not comfortable with that as a woman, then that's your choice as well. Feminism eh? @Juicy

I agree, If that's your thing then do it, I will not shame you or belittle you or anything like that. I'm a feminist because I think women should have a choice, you can be a traditional housewife or you can not be one. It's your life.

 

[PartyHeart]

My point is if @bcrusaderw and I can make the decision not to have kids until we are ready then why can't the other black women having kids out of wedlock make that same decision. She and I know not to marry or get pregnant by a worthless black man, so why can't other black women come to that conclusion? Why do those women go and have MORE kids out of wedlock??

And my point is that in the same way that you and @bcrusaderw make a conscious decision not have children until you're ready, plenty of Black men find a way to do the same for themselves. They do not have to be forced or goaded by Black women to not do it, which leaves the notion that you and the other men in here are claiming...essentially that Black men do not control their reproductive destiny...to be patently false. And a LOT, a LOT of Black men I know would be extremely offended by the notion, and rightfully so.

 

[PartyHeart]

And that's why I have said many times that her man will be a lap dog.

This is unfair to say just because she refuses to submit. Unless you are willing to say that you equally are going to be your future husband's lapdog because you will submit.

 

[Elle Driver]

I agree, If that's your thing then do it, I will not shame you or belittle you or anything like that. I'm a feminist because I think women should have a choice, you can be a traditional housewife or you can not be one. It's your life.

Exactly. I won't demonize a fellow black woman for doing something that doesn't affect me.

 

[agnosticlady]

Submission is not something that should be thrust upon or expected of women just because of their gender though. Everyone can make their own choices, but its not wrong to disagree with that notion at all. I think even women who do want to submit in their own personal relationships should fight against that stereotype. Its harmful.

Being submissive is knowing when to let your man take the lead. Being submissive is also not raising your voice at your man or challenging him/his manhood. Being submissive is letting your man feel like a man and not belittling him. Nothing is wrong with being submissive to a man that YOU picked.

 

[PartyHeart]

Being submissive is knowing when to let your man take the lead. Being submissive is also not raising your voice at your man or challenging him/his manhood. Being submissive is letting your man feel like a man and not belittling him. Nothing is wrong with being submissive to a man that YOU picked.

OK, then do that. In your own life. But do not call another woman's man/future man a lapdog because they don't need their woman to submit to them to feel comfortable in their manhood.

You wouldn't like someone to say that about you concerning your position relative to your man/future man, would you?

 

[agnosticlady]

This is unfair to say just because she refuses to submit. Unless you are willing to say that you equally are going to be your future husband's lapdog because you will submit.

Submitting to your man does not make you a lap dog, lol. That's what's wrong with our society. We view submission as a bad thing. When you are in class you submit to your teacher by being quite and letting them teach a lesson.
No self respecting man with worth is going to put up with her. She has to deal with a man that has no value. No man of worth wants to be with a woman who see's submission as a bad thing. She will more than likely be with a lap dog, or later become a lesbian. I've told her that many times. To sit there and say that fatherlessness is because there aren't many good black man is asinine. Yeah, let me go get pregnant by a worthless man because I can't find a good black man (all lies). While I'm at it , let me go drink some bleach because there is nothing good to drink.

 

[agnosticlady]

OK, then do that. In your own life. But do not call another woman's man/future man a lapdog because they don't need their woman to submit to them to feel comfortable in their manhood.

You wouldn't like someone to say that about you concerning your position relative to your man/future man, would you?

The only person that would call a woman lame for being submissive to her husband is a woman who can't get a man or doesn't like man. I wouldn't even pay attention to that because I would already know that she is dysfunctional and probably can't get a man.

 

[Queen]

@Elle Driver @Queen I'm sorry you guys I didn't meant to imply that there is anything wrong with submission, or to belittle women who do. I don't want to project that. I mean to say that it's silly and illogical for men to expect submission when they can't lead/provide, and also that some women don't want to submit.

I know you didn't mean it that way. But thank you for showing maturity instead of ranting back like an immature idiot.

I just had to add my comments because a lot of men yap about traditional this, and traditional that, yet they have no respect. Respect is the key component. Few women are going to agree to place themselves in a role that is not seen as valuable. Men can't tell women "you are inferior to me, you are less than me, I make the money so I will reign over you" and expect most women to agree. Respect is essential.

If a woman chooses to remain in the home, the work she does is valuable and helps advance her family in many ways. But as long as women are degraded for choosing that role, then many aren't going to agree to it. They especially aren't going to agree to it if a man is not capable of withholding his end of the deal.

I happily make my husbands breakfast, lunch, and dinner each day. But the day he tells me I HAVE to do it, or the day he demands I do this or that, or makes it seem like I am inferior to him for doing these things- that will be the day that he can do it himself. Respect is key. Real men get that, and that's why real men get respect in return while others get attitude.

 

[agnosticlady]

If he is, fukk does your single ass care for?

LMAO there was a whole thread in the locker room about women being in abusive relationships and being treated like lapdogs, scum, and etc. Now I say that the only man she would be able to get with is a lap dog (basically a man that has low self esteem and doesn't know his worth) and it doesn't matter. LOL.

 

[bcrusaderw]

No self respecting man with worth is going to put up with her. She has to deal with a man that has no value. No man of worth wants to be with a woman who see's submission as a bad thing. She will more than likely be with a lap dog, or later become a lesbian. I've told her that many times. To sit there and say that fatherlessness is because there aren't many good black man is asinine. Yeah, let me go get pregnant by a worthless man because I can't find a good black man (all lies). While I'm at it , let me go drink some bleach because there is nothing good to drink.

You are in for a rude awakening.

 

[PartyHeart]

Submitting to your man does not make you a lap dog, lol. That's what's wrong with our society. We view submission as a bad thing. When you are in class you submit to your teacher by being quite and letting them teach a lesson.
No self respecting man with worth is going to put up with her. She has to deal with a man that has no value. No man of worth wants to be with a woman who see's submission as a bad thing. She will more than likely be with a lap dog, or later become a lesbian. I've told her that many times. To sit there and say that fatherlessness is because there aren't many good black man is asinine. Yeah, let me go get pregnant by a worthless man because I can't find a good black man (all lies). While I'm at it , let me go drink some bleach because there is nothing good to drink.

The only person that would call a woman lame for being submissive to her husband is a woman who can't get a man or doesn't like man. I wouldn't even pay attention to that because I would already know that she is dysfunctional and probably can't get a man.

Your positions aren't adding up and are highly hypocritical. You say submission shouldn't be viewed as a bad thing, but you view a man who is submissive to his partner poorly. It appears that submission is only not a bad thing if its a female doing it (according to you).

Then, you equate submission to a teacher student relationship, but everything else you've ever said about men and women shows you mostly put women in the teacher category. After all, who has to direct the actions of the other by their own behavior, or be most accountable for the outcomes, the student or the teacher?

Then, you say the only person who'd call a woman lame for being submissive is a woman who can't get a man but you've gone out of your way to call another woman a name because she doesn't believe what you do. So what does that say about you? Or maybe we just shouldn't pay any attention to you and your dysfunction either?

 

[bcrusaderw]

LMAO there was a whole thread in the locker room about women being in abusive relationships and being treated like lapdogs, scum, and etc. Now I say that the only man she would be able to get with is a lap dog (basically a man that has low self esteem and doesn't know his worth) and it doesn't matter. LOL.

If the act of submission doesn't make a person a lap dog then why would my husband be a lap dog for submitting to me?

 

[agnosticlady]

You are in for a rude awakening.

This rude awakening is?

 

[bcrusaderw]

This rude awakening is?

When it comes just remember these little convos.