So I told them I'd meet them at Del Frisco's 7pm which is right across the street from the office...
To my surprise none of these dudes cared it was a steakhouse, in fact one of them even ate steak...The other two had soup and salad...
Nothing out of the ordinary here, they were actually normal and kept it to business...
I'm thinking ok maybe this night won't be that bad...
Around 9pm they wanted to head to a pub, so I obliged the request even though I don't drink alcohol on weekdays...Took them round the corner to Johnny Utahs...
The alchohol starts flowing, specifically whiskey, these mothafukkas had a hard on for Johnnie Walker...
I asked the bartender for 4 shots of blue label, they down their shots and the seeds of fukkery begin to slowly blossum...
The whiteboy analyst I brought along starts talking to this white girl sitting behind us at the bar...I tell Indian dudes I need to step out for a quick phone call...
When I get back inside I notice the Indian dudes migrated and are literally hovering over white girl...
One of them standing behind her looking like...
The other one...
and the third spontaneously starts playing air guitar like...
White girl starts yelling why are you guys so close to me step back with a look of complete disgust on her face...
At this point I'm no longer tryna get to the bar cuz I can't be seen involved with that...I'm at the other side near the exit standing there watching this shyt like...
Bartender tried to intervene, he starts looking around like...
White boy comes back to me and says they asked for the whole bottle of blue label...
So now I have to make my way over to the bar, I'm like bruh get your manager...Manager comes out I explain the situation, he says he has to charge double for the bottle and I'm like just do it...They're paying for it anyways with this contract so I can careless about the tab...
All of a sudden they start playing a pop song, some Taylor Swift sounding shyt and dude that was playing the air guitar before starts flapping his arms wildly like...
All females in the immediate vicinity were
and the dudes
...
I immediately try to disappear like Homer into the bushes and then the got damn song changes to that lil nas x horse joint...
Johnny Utahs got an electric bull...
One of these fools says I'm gonna ride the horse...
Me
White boy look at me like WTF I look at the bartender and say bruh I need to pay that tab RIGHT NOW...
He gets on the bull all serious and shyt and looks at the operator like
And immediately face plants like
the other two fools run to pick him up and he gives them the ok like
Tabs paid and turn to them and say yo emergency at home I got to go...They start hugging me like come on man stay we're gonna go get the bytches...I'm like nah no bytches for me tonight...
I grab white boy and I tell him to take them to our spot near the Javits Center, pay for a bottle but DO NOT pay for strippers, let them cover that...
In the morning white boy sent me an email that he will be working from home...I'm like ok, he took the bullet for the team last night son deserves the day...
He calls me around 10am and before I could even ask for the details he says man those guys are crazy...
First off no stripper wanted to go near that real creepy lanky quiet dude with the mustache that's always smiling...White boy said he didn't smell it at the bar but said where dude was sitting smelled extra foul like he either pissed, shytted or nutted on himself...and he was sitting in it the whole time by himself...
He said the other two kept ganging up on the strippers which I imagine looked something like
Said he went off to do his thing ina private room and when he came back creepy dude still sitting by himself smiling...
There was like five strippers in a circle clapping...One of these dudes was in the middle of that circle on his knees doing some weird snake dance shyt I imagine looked like this
At one point somebody approached foul smelling creepy dude and tried to kick him out but refused to get close to him because of the odor and one of the other dudes start yelling why? why you kick him?
A stripper said he smells like something died, one of the other Indian dudes points his finger at her like
and yells your p*ssy smell like dead fish...
The stripper slaps him and he slaps the stripper back
The bouncers now start whoopin on them and uncle Phil they asses out...
White boy called an uber and as they're waiting for it Indian dudes start telling folk trying to get into the club not to go in cuz the p*ssy stinks...
Bouncer starts chasing both of them down the block round the Javits center...
White boy hopped in the Uber and bounced...He actually apologized to me for abandoning them thinking we lost the contract...I told him son I'd be mad if you were dumb enough to stick around and get your ass whooped with those fools...
Both me and white boy in complete tears while he's telling me this shyt...My partner came into my office saw me in tears clutching my chest and thought I was having a heart attack...I told her I cannot have this meeting today...She said how did the dinner go last night, I tell her if I tell you that you won't be able to have that meeting either...
I legit spent most of my day spontaneously busting out like
cuz of the visuals stuck in my got damn head...
you lucky I'm even comin with you...
I get him to double down and buy a round of shots again and watch him proceed to spit game to a broad who proceeded to curb him. He left shortly after smh musta wasted like 60 or so odd dollars just trying to flex.
