“If you live in another state than your children then you failed as a father “

[#BOTHSIDES]

So it’s wrong for brehs to live nj and have kids in ny?

Chicago, Il and Indiana right next door?
DC, Maryland, VA?



Just be good parents

 

[Kiyoshi-Dono]

It’s weird how most of you nikkas ain’t parents in the first place
Have shytty relationships the second
Always try to dictate the narratives to seem more superior
If a man is financially supporting their child
On the phone every night providing emotional support
Finds a way to be in that state at least once a month
How is that a bad father
Then some goofy bytch talking about if you have a run of the mill office job
bytch have you been outside in this economy
Men and women are getting axed left and right from these jobs
It’s taking some people more than a year to find a gig
Nah let me just quit this job
Move to another state and struggle
Let’s not even mention if my ex bytch got me on child support and if I’m not current they taking my drivers license or sending me to jail
It’s like yall live through this screen
Yall know everything in the world but ain’t got no kids
Don’t have healthy relationships with men or women
Yall nikkas have a lot in common with the cacs on Reddit than yall know

 

[Fiji Water]

The woman is a failure in that scenario as well. Taking your one yr old and shacking up with a new man is WILD.

Absolutely correct. As someone in that situation, it's absolutely a failure. It sure as hell doesn't feel or look like success. Not even sure why it's a debate to be honest.

Basically, it's not right but it can be okay. It can be fixed as time goes on. But it's clearly a failure. Why would something need to be fixed if it wasn't broken.

 

[murksiderock]

And how often is it an ex WIFE as opposed to a baby mama? That makes a difference.

I don't think it matters. There's scores of people married who should've never been in the first place; tons of people unhappy in their marriage...

Its not an either/or thing, not to me, at least...

None of the guys I mentioned ever been married, neither have I...

I won’t knock it cause they making it work but the common denominator amongst everyone man or woman in that story is that folks are running around having kids not thinking about the future. So yeah you’ll have a situation where eventually you’ll be away from your kids because you’re running around having kids in every relationship. To me that’s where the failure is.

It’s a failure as a man knocking a chick up, yall breaking up, then going to another woman knocking her up. Then break up. Repeat. Is irresponsible.

To make it clear it’s possible to be a decent maybe even good Dad from a distance it’s just majority of the time it’s the consequences of poor decisions.

Fair enough!

It’s weird how most of you nikkas ain’t parents in the first place
Have shytty relationships the second
Always try to dictate the narratives to seem more superior
If a man is financially supporting their child
On the phone every night providing emotional support
Finds a way to be in that state at least once a month
How is that a bad father
Then some goofy bytch talking about if you have a run of the mill office job
bytch have you been outside in this economy
Men and women are getting axed left and right from these jobs
It’s taking some people more than a year to find a gig
Nah let me just quit this job
Move to another state and struggle
Let’s not even mention if my ex bytch got me on child support and if I’m not current they taking my drivers license or sending me to jail
It’s like yall live through this screen
Yall know everything in the world but ain’t got no kids
Don’t have healthy relationships with men or women
Yall nikkas have a lot in common with the cacs on Reddit than yall know

These negroes with no kids, or haven't been in a situation to confront a decision like this, they allowed to have they opinions but they aren't that relevant honestly...

 

[maxamusa]

"failure" is a tuff word.......


but not for nothing......I should get extra points for living with mines.


there is a HUGE difference in being a part time vs Full time Father.

Not trying to throw shade I know everyone got their own circumstances, but I want all the props I'm owed.


there should be an acknowledged difference.


Cause these part time dads be getting the same credit sometimes or talking like they = 2 me and I keep my mouth shut but I lowkey get kinda aggravated. we not the same. they don't know.

 

[maxamusa]

Context. No one would be upset about some who moved from the Heights to Fort Lee, NJ

If you left you kid in the FIRE and you out living good in Fort lee.....yea bro thats fukked up.

 

[The Devil's Advocate]

My mom and dad split, mom remarried, dad was there every day.. Stepdad got a job in another state... That's a wrap

What's my dad supposed to do? Pack up and follow us nikka?

 

[Big Blue]

If you left you kid in the FIRE and you out living good in Fort lee.....yea bro thats fukked up.

Context... That was my point

 

[Richard Glidewell]

If that be the outlook, then every little societal view that you don't measure up to is a failure........that list gets real long real fast, but as is typical people cherry pick when they want to attempt to be righteous about something........

 

[Regular Developer]

What if you live in South Jersey and they live in Philly... vs what if they live in San Diego and you live in Sacremento?

 

[murksiderock]

"failure" is a tuff word.......


but not for nothing......I should get extra points for living with mines.


there is a HUGE difference in being a part time vs Full time Father.

Not trying to throw shade I know everyone got their own circumstances, but I want all the props I'm owed.


there should be an acknowledged difference.


Cause these part time dads be getting the same credit sometimes or talking like they = 2 me and I keep my mouth shut but I lowkey get kinda aggravated. we not the same. they don't know.

I have no slight to any other father but I think because I know that, not living with my kids is involuntarily, I can't give a nikka extra props because he hasn't had a circumstance like mine. I didn't choose to not live with my kids. And unless nikkas got the sweetest finesse game of all time (which is possible ), if they had my BM's they'd be in the same boat...

My youngest daughter's mom is on her third baby daddy. For a fact if you had her you'd be in the same position, she can't get it right with anyone. And as easy as it is for nikkas to say they wouldn't have a second BM, I've told the story how I asked her to get an abortion. I can't make her. I didn't choose a second BM...

I appreciate every brother who are in their kids' lives. I certainly dont view myself as inferior to any other father, just because my circumstances took me from the household...

My mom and dad split, mom remarried, dad was there every day.. Stepdad got a job in another state... That's a wrap

What's my dad supposed to do? Pack up and follow us nikka?

Exactly. I know some people are saying this but it really isn't realistic...

What if you live in South Jersey and they live in Philly... vs what if they live in San Diego and you live in Sacremento?

San Diego and Sacramento are essentially a state apart. Two of my siblings grew up back and forth from Sac to SD; their mom is from SD. Our dad was in Sac, Portland, and Dallas throughout their upbringing...

There's occasions you can live within the same state but be far away from your kids still. Someone who lives in The Boroughs but kids are in Buffalo are essentially states away from their kids...

Ideally I think you should live within a day trip to your kids at worst. Where you could drive to see them at a moment's notice, so that's typically within 3 hours/200 miles. My youngest daughter is an hour away from me in Fayetteville...

But it isn't always possible. There's so much real life context that questions like this donr capture!

 

[The Guru]

“If you live in another state household than your children then you failed as a father “​

Fixed

It takes two to tango. Despite your best efforts some men are not in the position.

 

[The Half-Blood FKA Prince]

When i was younger and way deep out on that spectrum i made it a point to always play safe cause i knew if i ever made one my kid would have potentially been better off not knowing me.

I think i may have been extra critical and very hard on myself looking back, and despite the fact i would have failed in many ways, i dont think my seed would have benefited from not knowing me

Truthfully most parents are going to have a stack of L's right next to the wins no matter how hard they try.

I have no respect for anyone who abandon their seed though because for my autistic ass that would have been the hardest fukking decision of my life. Because i was nowhere near as functional as i am today and even that comes primarily from experience so unless u help raised a baby brother no man is ready to be a parent at any age. Its more a ready or not situation