I didn't even read op
I'm going off the thread title question
And regardless of gender
No one should want the person they are dating to have to deal with their unresolved trauma
If a woman openly admits she got trauma, ptsd= instant turnoff??
- Thread starter valet
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I'm going off the thread title question
And regardless of gender
No one should want the person they are dating to have to deal with their unresolved trauma
This really isn't a gender specific question. I wouldn't want a woman to instantly throw me away when she finds out about my issues, so I wouldn't do it to anyone else. But as others have said, it depends on how she's dealing with it. Has she sought treatment, is she finding healthy ways of working with and through it? That's a plus. Or does she use it as a crutch and excuse for bad behavior, or a reason to treat people poorly? Different story. It's a situation that calls for a lot of consideration and nuance, but where they do that at? Not TheColi 
Yes but in the short term it's irrelevant
I'm a great listener
I'm sitting through how ever many stories of toxic exs, molestation, abuse, whatever. I'm trying get the p*ssy , some trauma ain't stopping me
I couldn't do it bruh. Girl was so fukkin pretty. Still is. But she was clearly damaged.
I'm pretty sure professional therapy is recommended
Not dragging another innocent party down with a relationship they're not prepared for
You're assuming they're NOT already in therapy or on medication. Being open and honest about ones past doesn't negate their present or future
TreySav
D-Block General
I tried this before and I will never do it again. If you get into a relationship with women like this, you will not be starting off with a clean slate in their eyes. Everything you do or say will be a continuation of all the trauma they dealt with in the pass. Don’t do it Brehs and brehettes. Do. Not. Do. It.
Let that mfer fully heal before they come to you. A lot of people try to comfort trauma victims by sharing their own traumatic experiences and that’s a slippery slope to trauma bonding
Meet someone in the light rather than the darkness
Let that mfer fully heal before they come to you. A lot of people try to comfort trauma victims by sharing their own traumatic experiences and that’s a slippery slope to trauma bonding
Meet someone in the light rather than the darkness
desjardins
Veteran
These are the women who need the presence of a good man the most.
I probably can't be in a relationship with her but I can be a friend, maybe even guide her if it's not too much of a burden
AyBrehHam Linkin
First Black Brehsident
More often than not, when you enter a relationship with someone theyre not going to come in a ribboned box perfect and devoid of some type of trauma, unless theyre literally on their first relationship ever.
So it comes down to how much that individual makes effort to fix whatever ills them and or how much they can hide it in a healthy way.
So it comes down to how much that individual makes effort to fix whatever ills them and or how much they can hide it in a healthy way.
Scustin Bieburr
Baby baybee baybee UUUGH
What I was here to say.
I look for markers of pain in a woman. If I see the signs that she's in pain and not dealing with it well, I'm going to move on. I've learned to look for pain on the surface level and to ask certain questions to confirm my suspicions. Once my suspicion is confirmed I give her one of those female style vague/gentle rejections.
"I just don't feel the chemistry"
"I don't think I'm in the right place to date seriously right now"
"[Praise her good qualities] but I just don't think it's a food fit".
the trick is to walk away first before she feels she's the one who revealed her traumas unprovoked, otherwise she'll think she needs to hide her problems until you're locked in to a relationship with her. Then it's like dr. Jekyll and Miss Hyde. The toxicity and insanity comes out weeks or months into the relationship and now youre like every other a$$hole who used her for sex and then walked away. Ive learned to get ahead of that early and bounce before the really corrosive traits start to show.
I actually have worked with people who have mental health problems in a professional capacity and have friends that have too. Its unpaid overtime to come home after hearing some extremely fukked up things, trying to help the person and then have to use your skills again at home. I can't do it anymore.
If you're a man and a woman shows signs of mental illness and she's expecting YOU to help her with it, or she has no insight into her illness you have to do the right thing and walk away. It's like trying to rescue a drowning person. If you don't know what you're doing two people will drown.
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I’ve been there
Many of them use therapy as an expensive form of validation and remix the story to make themselves look like victims while using trauma/therapy as an excuse to continue terrorizing everyone around them.
NoirDynosaur
Yurrrrrrrrrr
Depends on the trauma and whether or not she's willing to deal with her trauma.
I sort of understand cause I used to have traumas from my adolescence that I cleared through therapy.
In general, dealing with somebody's else baggage isn't a sweet situation to deal with.
I sort of understand cause I used to have traumas from my adolescence that I cleared through therapy.
In general, dealing with somebody's else baggage isn't a sweet situation to deal with.
Depends. Is this woman actively seeking therapy? If so, then perhaps I may stick around but I would do so with caution.
If she isn't doing the work to heal herself, then I would have to gracefully charge her to the game and keep it pushing! I can't hwlep someone who isn't willing the help self.
If she isn't doing the work to heal herself, then I would have to gracefully charge her to the game and keep it pushing! I can't hwlep someone who isn't willing the help self.
African Peasant
Veteran
It's not a turn off per se. But you need to be psychologically and spiritually strong to deal with that. If you ain't, leave her alone.